Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 764. page
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So I went through a breakup with my girlfriend who I loved about a month ago. She immediately got back together with her ex. We would play a lot of League of Legends together and a few other games but for the past month I find it impossible to play them without thinking of them together and it kills me. What do I do? How do I stop relating certain activities to my time with her?
>>17155324
get a life outside of video games srsly no wonder why youre depressed
>>17155532
Don't listen to this faggot, videogames are best hobby. Just stop playing pleb-tier shit.
>>17155324
maybe you should play dota instead of weeb sissy faggot kiddie shit.
Hello, I'm a 19 year old student who works 20-30hours/week as a barman. For my job I have a Seiko Cocktail Time, right now I'm wearing a pretty beaten Tag Heuer Sport Elegance, which I've never been a fan of (my granddad gave it to me) Anyway I've considered buying an Omega Seamaster Aquaterra 42.5mm, Automatic. But is it too early to buy a 3500£ watch when I'm only 19? Is it even a good watch etc.?
if you have the money, buy what you want.
But, if you aren't going to use it to its fullest potential, it would be wise to spend less money.
After all, even "fancy" watches pretty much only tell time.
Unless you literally have too much money and nothing to spend it on, don't get an expensive watch. If you want to look rich and classy and whatever just get a fake, no one can tell the difference from simply seeing it on your arm. I got a fake "Rolex" for like 30$ about 3 years ago and it did me just as much good as a 3500£ watch would've done so far.
Expensive watches are a means for smart people to make money off rich and dumb people. If you want to buy an expensive watch you're either rich or dumb. Which one are you, OP?
A propper watch can't be compared to a cheap knockoff.
"If you want to look rich and classy and whatever just get a fake, no one can tell the difference from simply seeing it on your arm"
I want to buy a watch that'll last the rest of my life and beyond. If i wanted to look rich and classy I'd buy a watch with a gold-look. The quality of a luxury swiss watch is very underrated.
>Be 29
>College graduate (worthless degree - bachelor in psychlogy. Wanted to go graduate but circumstances happened)
> Never had a job during high school or college.
>Started first job at 25 at entry level retail. Was a seasonal temp position in 2011.
>Was NEET for a year in 2012.
>Worked 32 hours a week at walmart as stocker, but got fired in late 2014 for productivity issues.
>Was NEET again for a year in 2015.
>Recently got hired for at another retailer a month ago.
>Learned today retailer will likely be firing a lot of people within the next two months.
>Have around 10K saved up.
>No debt
>But no job experience outside of entry level retail (stocking shit and take merchandise off a truck).
What the fuck can I do?
I mean where do I go from here..
>>17155248
you went in to psychology for a reason. what career were you looking to get out of it consider going back for that.
Buy a textbook and study for a certification. A+, medical coding, programming language, gun permit, welding, whatever you can find that'll interest you. You have a psychology degree, so youcould even try getting into social work
I need a quick buck.
Yes I have a job but some money was unexpectedly stolen from me so I had to take a chunk out of my savings, which I'm pissed about. $30 may not sound like a lot to you, but that's a good amount of money to me.
Anyway I have some items of value and I'd like to sell them. I tried using craigslist and backpage but no one seemed to be interested. For example some of the items I was selling were kites. Do not many people appreciate kites anymore?
Is there a faster way? Like is there an actual place where I can sell stuff for quick cash and that's that?
Buy drugs, cut it with bath salt and sell it.
>>17155179
fast is not an option when selling junk. you can try to find a website for kite enthusiasts and hope yours doe well there if its any good, but the majority of people dont wake up and go 'OH BOY BETTER CHECK CRAIGSLIST FOR KITE LISTINGS!'
there is another app something like 'buy my stuff' or 'sell my stuff' (google around you'll find it) that is good for this, but again, people arent looking to buy kites.
>>17155179
If you live near a large park or the beach/coastline, you may be able to display your kites and sell them there. Pawn shop might also give you a deal on those, especially one near those kinds of locations. Sadly, drones and other things have made kites a fading hobby in many places. I hope that this is helpful! GL!!
What's the best app to help make friends? I'll be living in a city for three months where I have no friends and zero chance at making friends at my workplace because I'm the only 20 y/o intern among thirty-somethings. I also won't be drinking because I have an alcohol problem and need to curb my drinking, though I don't think I'd make great friends at bars anyway. So, what do you think? Also, what are some good dating/hookup apps besides tinder? I feel like I'm going to get bored quickly and don't want to sit around jerking it all day.
>>17155037
the following advice was meant for women, but it works even better for making friends. so keep that in mind.
advice
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>17155110
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.
dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in
so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.
they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.
if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.
you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.
it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.
to put this into context, I use dating apps maybe once every 3 months, for only about two weeks max. at the end you just send your phone number to the hotties you've been chatting up saying 'i really dont like to use these things, but you've really stood out. I'm deleting the app, but would love to meet up. text me?' followed by your number.
>>17155114
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
dont be afraid to go to things you aren't sure you'll love. worse case scenario, you go home. in my city we have an annual thing called the 'no pants train ride' where you just ride the train in your underwear. went to a couple of buds and i met a really hot adorkable girl there. we dated for about 3 months.
How do you keep your vagina smelling relatively clean or not too musky?
Lately, down there's been smelling awfully musky and the odor is really noticeable to other people, making me really self conscious. I'm not looking to go to the doctor's since I have no time to schedule or attend an appointment. General tips you use? Or home remedies?
Most likely a fungus.
Vaginas need a awful Lot of maintenance.
Get vagisil or similar
>>17155020
I really would go to a doctor. I know we don't all have that luxury, but at least aim for it in the near future.
Has your diet/health changed significantly?
>>17155020
Rise yourself with 1 cup of water and 3 tablespoons of baking soda for a few days if you don't want to douche. If you still smell strongly, develop any rash or pain or see any irregular discharge, go to the clinic--it may be a number of things, and it's best not to speculate! Hope that this is helpful! GL!!
So I posted this on /soc/ and was told to move it here though not sure how many females are actually here but what ever still posting
Do girls look upon a man or guy the same way we men do to women? What I mean is do you lust after their body or desire to kiss there face the same way us men can look at a woman and check out her legs,butt, chest, and face? do you girls think about seeing a guy naked or seeing his penis the same way a guy would always want to see a girls tits or vagina or just get a peek of her underwear? I'm not sure why but I always thought females would think different then men, have a cleaner mind compared to us at least in those areas, up until I heard a pastor say that women can actually be a bit more "dirty" minded than men when it comes to desiring a man that they see or having dirty thoughts about them.
Most certainly, anyone is able to think anything about anyone.
>>17155005
oh yes. we can really lusting after men and imagine having sex with em. but usually i think we're not as graphic as you are.
>>17155005
everyone is different. women tend to be less sexually agressive. Nature / evolution says that men can just plant their seeds then run for it.
Women are always going to be stuck with a child if something happens to the man (or he simply runs off) so a woman would naturally be less sexually aggressive. if she slept around with someone really small, scrawny. and uncordinated, he would likely die before she even gave birth, leaving her and the baby vulnerable.
women obviously DO feel sexual attraction, and sometimes get the thoughts you describe. but they are less common, and are reserved for 'higher quality' men.
evolution shapes the dating field quite a bit, but it is not the 'end all'. we've all proven we can over come our baser urges and stability in the modern world is more important than physical prowess. this isn't to say women target men who make money, but rather a man who can still 'take care of them' while still making them feel loved.
as before, women still want a man who will stay around
I'm interested in learning Japanese.. but I don't want to be a complete faggot about it.. how do I do that?
How is this even a thought process crossing your mind? You learn it like anyone learns any language, and that's that.
What?
>>17154984
take an actual in person course at what everl ocal learning institutions offer it.
other than that its pretty easy
>dont try to talk with an accent
weabu will make fun of you for it saying your accent sucks, but we dont mock foreigners for not trying to emulate our accents, yeh?
>dont use anime type expressions
thats pretty much it.
>source: i took japanese for two years
is it true that the black lives movement isn't as big as it was in 2012 because people are realizing that they are retarded?
Nice try, anon.
>>17154956
whatcha mean senpai?
>>17154953
moar like it's made of black people and they have short life expectancy
I have a dell inspiron 15 3521 with an i3 processor. I'm on a budget, so I'm debating whether to buy an i5 motherboard replacement or just shop for a faster computer all together. My goal is to be able to play KSP with no lag.
What is your budget?
>>17155219
Less than $200
How exactly are you planning to get a new computer all together then? Upgrade.
So, there's this girl I developed feelings for (Feels mutual)
Went out with her once, didn't get the kiss, she's from another town and had little time to see me.
We met through badoo (Dating App) and kept the conversation going through facebook for a few months,
and we developed a strange type of relationship:
The kind you have with your internet waifu who'm you'll never meet IRL
Say goodnight daily
Hearts everywhere
Pretty much everything except saying the L word
Still innocent (no sexting :/)
Not a lot of conversation topics between us, Pretty much talking how we spent our days
Not much to talk to, I'm not a good conversationalist - Though that's a different issue.
She's seems a bit broken to me
Has some OCD - or something don't know her for that long, Introvert, emo looks, Maybe even daddy issues don't know yet
So supposedly if I am codependent, seems to match my past relationships
Always attracted to the kind of girls that are broken and I have this need to fix them (I'm not sure about this - probably denial)
I always fall for girls in a matter of minutes of meeting them,
Quite frequently so,
And when the feelings are mutual I get really obsessive, jelaous, etc. And real fast.
My questions are:
1. How do i differ true feelings from my codependency?
//I don't want to hurt her or be in an unhealthy relationship
2. Is my need to not hurt others also codependant or just me being Beta?
3. Is the reason why I fall in love so fast, cause i need to feel victimized - also codependency?
4. Is obsession also rooted to codependency?
//As in I need to be needed by the other person to not feel bad - when I'm not getting the attention I want i get really moody
tl;dr
How to cure yourself of codependency?
>>17154880
Bump
>>17154944
2nd Bump
P.S - Is there a Bump limit or something??
>>17154880
What the hell are you even saying? What do you mean by codependent?
So I'd asked my friend out a month ago. She said that things were complicated and so turned me down. I decided to not fret, be her friend and resolve to move on.
A month later and she kissed me Friday. Not just once, many times. It was wonderful.
She text me hello the next day, which I replied to, with typical how are you, sleep ok, etc. But since then, I've had no reply. I've messaged her a couple of times since that first. Both times with information about unrelated things, so genuine reason to message rather than fishing for anything. But no reply still.
I'm not literally staring at the phone waiting. And I'm not overly concerned, as she has a tendency of being rubbish at replying to messages and phonecalls. But still, what gives?
Bumping. Women of/adv/ why do you not respond to guys?
The older I get the more I feel texting hurts your game 90% of the time.
>>17155042
I can't call her because she never picks up. So a text, she knows I wanted to get in touch.
So about a month ago I had my first acid trip. At first things were fine then I started to peak and that's when shit broke down. I began having panic attacks and intense anxiety that my closest homes who were tripping with me might actually be playing a cruel prank on me and I became paranoid. During those 3 weeks I began to seriously think that I might be crazy or mentally retarded.
What didn't help is that the day after my trip I met with my therapist and told me that I have an avoidant personality. I didn't know how to react APD is often associated with multiple personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. When I asked him if I was mentally retarded or maybe even autistic he only replied with a curt "oh come on anon you're not retarded."
Am I really going crazy or is it the effects of the acid?
>>17154802
So your symptoms are you think you might be crazy?
Sometimes acid is known to help surface psychological disorders that would have inevitably surfaced anyways, I.E. with schizophrenia, and never or rarely causes it.
I'm not sure about personality disorders though? It might just be a coincidence. So basically either that or the acid brought it on earlier and it was inevitable.
BTW you are not even retarded or crazy, APD is the most inoffensive of all of them IMO even though it will cause you difficulties, personality disorders are categorized into clusters. Cluster A is the ones that cause you to act weird/eccentric, like schizoid personality disorder, cluster B is the dramatic ones, borderline personality disorder and histrionic etc, while cluster C is nervous/anxious disorders like what you are experiencing. So it is completely different from BPD etc. Hope this helps.
>>17154802
>I didn't know how to react APD is often associated with multiple personality disorder
No. Dissociative Identity Disorder isn't something that just happens. If you don't have prolonged, severe abuse in your history you don't have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I mean locked in a closet unless daddy wants to fuck you from six to fifteen level abuse. Are many people with DID also Avoidant? Sure, its a strong association, but it runs one way.
>borderline personality disorder
No. There isn't an association between Cluster B and C. While I can imagine someone who might be a blend, it certainly isn't something you're going to see in the wild very often.
>mentally retarded or maybe even autistic
Mental retardation is a pretty specific diagnosis. If you don't have cognitive abilities two standard deviations below the mean (fuck you, DSM5, the cut off is useful) with an onset during childhood and pervasive dysfunction across all domains of life its not a diagnosis even worth considering. A Spectrum diagnosis isn't wholly out of the picture, and it is consistent with some of what you're reporting, but you'd need testing to confirm.
Heres a scary thought: maybe you've looked avoidant or possibly Aspergian throughout adolescence because of a slow Schizophrenia prodrome and the use of psychedelics pushed you towards your first psychotic episode.
Had any bad fevers or unexplained illnesses lately?
Is it shitty of me to post about my uncle killing himself on social media? His daughter is my friend on Facebook, but she never uses it, and I feel like I need to let people know why I'm not really myself at the moment.
Yes. It is extremely shitty. Don't do it.
As long as you're tasteful. If you're upset because he committed suicide, then she would be the first person to understand if she saw your post.
>>17154750
It's shitty of you to go into detail. No one, friend or family, wants to see that intense of shit on social media. That's not what social media is for. Intensely private matters are for offline, personal communication.
All you have to say, if you feel you HAVE to tell everyone, is that there was a death in the family and you're working through it.
Hi,
I'm very complexed about my nose, I look like Sofia Coppola. What do you think? Should I make a rhinoplasty?
If it would make you happy, why not?
If you like your nose, keep it. I think it's a nice nose.
>>17154723
Yeah every one tell me my nose is nice but I can't believe it, wanna have some anons opinions
>>17154713
There's nothing inherently wrong with that nose, OP. 1) Beauty really IS in the eye of the beholder...we can be our own worst critics and, honestly, the very thing one person hates is, to another person, awesome! 2) Good looks are about symmetry--balance. You may just have a face that "works" with that nose! 3) If you objectively hate your nose, and can't find a way to accept yourself as you are, then you may want to look at the pros and cons (i.e. risks) associated with surgery so you can be happy in your own skin. For me, that'd be the last option, but for you... *Shrugs* Good luck, whatever you decide!
