Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 751. page
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I have had a problem my whole life with letting my guard down enough to let someone else in.
It appears after many years I've figured it out and my fiance proposed to me last year.
A big issue in our relationship is still that I have not been able to get off when we have sex/sexual contact. I'm talking hands, mouth, toys, penis, nothing works. I've had a total of 7 sexual partners and nothing has worked.
I am aware that I am very absorbed in my fetish and having a vanilla partner makes it hard for me to even fantasize about them doing what I want to do. I can't even think it because I know it will never happen.
So I'm left basically in this fortress of my own thoughts to masturbate as I wish and talk to people online that share the fetish. However, when I'm with a partner it means there's something clearly missing from the sex, and I just can't cum without it and I can't get in the mood without it.
What do?
Fetish?
>>17161198
Pee fetish
>>17161173
3 large glasses of wine and a promise to do whatever he wants once if he does the pee thing.
I have this conversation with all gf's at one point and if she said pee fetish I'd be well excited. Not because the pee fetish - i don't get that at all, but i figure after that anything goes
My 4 year old cat died today after having been hit by a car this morning. The driver who killed her just placed her on the grass next to the road and didn't even bother to check her ear for the registration number. Now some people are calling me silly for crying over a cat. But this cat was just every bit as much a part of my family as my brother. I saved her life when she was born and we were inseparable. She'd sleep next to me and she truly had a special personality. She'd let you know when she was unhappy with something.
But is it really silly?
>pic related, it's her
>>17161138
>crying over a cat
this is not silly
>but this cat was just every bit as much a part of my family as my brother
This is kinda silly.
They are the ones who are being insensitive. Like seriously what a bunch of assholes.
>>17161138
Rest in Peace Cat
Sup /adv/,
I come here occasionally (Read: twice a year) seeking, well, advice. This go around i have two things to discuss. One being stereo typical so i will start there.
I have been single for nearly 18 months now, overall my life has improved a lot since i broke up with my ex (whom I dated for 4 years starting in highschool, she was also an untreated bipolar psychopath). My social life has gotten a lot better since, I have reached many of life goals, at least the ones that are realistic for a 22 y/o, and am overall a happier person. But, I'm getting to the point where I miss having a person to be with, both as company and goodgodivenotbeenlaidin18months.
And I have two issues with forming a relationship.
one being im a hellaciously busy person, I work a minimum 40hrs a week, and have 10-20 hours of class per week, and what free time i do have i try to spend with friends or in the garage working on one of my projects (the latter typically being a"do i want to work on this or not sleep tonight").
and i feel as if most women won't want to be with a guy that can only spare a few hours per week to spend time with
second one being, ive never really been on a first date, i was with my ex since highschool, neither of us had a car, we started off "dating" and never even saw each other out of school till like two months later, so by that time it wasn't really a "im considering a relationship with this person" as much as it was "im having dinner with my girlfriend".
So idk how to go about that either.
This might be better suited for /o/ but ill ask here
My second question being, i was planning on getting a new car, I have three right now, a truck, my beater daily driver and my jeep. The truck and jeep get fuck all MPG and the car is beat as fuck and was only meant to be a temporary car, bought it for $800 and its paid for itself since it gets 28 mpg, and ive had it two years.
My plan was to go finance a 350z, which i can do, payments were like 1/8 of what i put into the jeep per month. But when i talked to my insurance agent it is going to cost me an ass load for insurance, like more then the payments were going to be, and i cant justify that much for a new car.
Im assuming its because i only have 4 years driving record, and that im still fairly young. But at what point should i look into this again where my insurance will have dropped substantially? I asked my insurance agent and he couldn't give me a straight answer.
I suppose i should do this in a more 4chan friendly manner.
>Be me
>Be single for 18 months
>Much happier than when i was with crazy
>Miss the touch of a person
>To busy for relationship
>Don't know how to do a first date
>Wut do?
>Want new car
>Can afford it
>Insurance will be more than payment
>Cant justify spending more on insurance than car
>Young, reckless, stupid = shouldn't own a sports car, in eyes of insurance place.
>When will my insurance go down?
>>17161134
dont? you are basically saying you'd rather do these things then hang out with a girl. i dont blame you. personal projects awlays come first with me, as do friends.
so dont date. that or choose what you are willing to sacrifice to date.
Well I missed 3 weeks of uni straight and haven't returned any calls from friends/family asking for my wellbeing.
I don't know what happened, each day feels worse than the next. I signed up for a doctors appointment tomorrow but I really don't want to be prescribed meds for depression or anything.
I guess I just gave up. Not sure what to do because the motivation to try has just faded away and I'm not sure what will bring it back. I just don't have any physical or mental energy anymore and everything I do feels like it won't be enough to catch up.
What would you guys do?
I probably wouldn't miss three weeks of uni. That's a level of self sabotage that goes beyond depression. Basically you're a jackass
Fuck off. Give your friends and family some sort of sign! Not knowing, wondering, not even getting an answer is horrible. Lie if you have to. Although you are clearly past the point where saying everything is fine is an option.
Like >>17161103 says, this seems to go beyond depression. Hard to give advice on this level of self sabotage. Or perhaps you're a downright moron.
>>17161103
I was doing fine, I just kinda stopped. Your right though, and that's why I feel horrible. I think I went too far to come back at a normal pace anytime soon.
My only hope is its already so close to the end and I've done okay in the past, maybe they will go easy on me or understand.
What would I tell everybody though... Is it weird to disappear for 3 weeks?
Hey /adv/,
How can I better reconcile my love for my girlfriend with her infidelity? She goof'd badly and made some very bad decisions while I was away at bootcamp for 8.5 weeks.
Once a cuck, you're always a cuck op
Personally i got back with my ex after she had cheated on me. It ate my soul and i was always paranoid she was sleeping with someone else. Fuck her off. Youre better off without her
I really want to talk to this girl that i like but im a coward. How to stop being a coward? I probably have little chance because im ugly but still...
try yahoo answers
>>17161082
>How to stop being a coward?
Just do it.
No, really. Your problem is that you want to stop being afraid, but this never works. It's an inherently scary thing to do, and so you will always be scared. Courage isn't when you aren't scared: it's when you are scared, but you do it anyway. And that is what you need to do: stop worrying about not being scared, and instead fight THROUGH the fear. Nothing else works.
Talking to her and getting rejected is the same thing as never talking to her, but doin the first you have a chance
i pretty much wanna die. this whole month has been shit. i dated this girl for three years and when I left she said we weren't dating but we were still fucking and spending all our timr together while I was gone she met a guy and made out with him and didnt tell me until the day after and I talked to her the same day it happened and she says she likes him and wants a break from me, says she loves me and when I got back I stayed at her house last night and we fucked. she said she would fuck him if he did anything and I don't know what to do now, she said she didn't want to have sex yet but she lets him kiss her and hold her hand and shit , should I beat his ass? he's way smaller than me.. and all of her friends hate me and don't like her being with me and I am not a degenerate or anything and now they want her to go sleep over with him and her friend on Friday.
You sound like a degenerate to me. Get your shit together kid.
Dude, what the fuck? What are you, 12?
OK, you're young, dumb and full of cum, I know. I was once, too.
You're being used, however nice she may be about it. You're a stunt dick, a placeholder while she waits for anyone but you to express sufficient desire to fuck her. Seriously, she prefers to fuck other people. And you're still there, waiting? Holy shit, where the hell is your ego, son? That's some messed up, extremely unhealthy shit.
OK, from her perspective, you're an object to be pitied at this point, because you won't set her aside and tell her that you're better than the other guy, and deserve better from her. If you did that, she'd actually respect you. Granted, she's already finished with you, other than fucking you occasionally, which serves double duty: it keeps you on her leash, and it keeps your ego and value low.
Judge people by their actions, not their words, kid. You need to do that. I'm assuming that you don't live with a parent or strong male role model, because this is, honestly, some awful, degrading shit you're doing, pining after some horrible, horrible person who is absolutely laying waste to your ego and self-image. Someone should have already pulled you aside, slapped your shit and put you on the right path, and I'm sorry no one was there to do that for you.
Seriously, you couldn't be hurting yourself more than by continuing with this awful, vicious amoral cunt.
She does not love you. You don't use people you love to keep you entertained until the next one shows up, and you absolutely don't threaten to do that. No, you're being manipulated, buddy, and whether she's self-aware enough to know that she's being a horrible human being, you need to stop this shit.
This awful whore is bad for you in every way. And she's only practice. You have to understand that. That's all she is for you, a life lesson on what to do, and more, what NOT to do in a relationship.
Cont from
>>17161081
You need to accept that she is not for you. You WILL do better, because you can't possibly do worse. Seriously. You're at the bottom of the barrel now.
I'm sure you used to love this girl, in a childish, obsessive sort of way. No way in hell her behavior changed out of the blue. People DO grow and change, and it sounds like she grew and changed into an absolute dumpster fire of a girl.
Ultimately, I guess you need to decide on what you want. Do you want to continue like this, being ashamed of yourself, and ashamed of her for not valuing you more? Do you want to taste the salty leavings of the next guy whenever she kisses you? Do you really want to be involved with someone who does not have your interests and well-being in mind? Do you like being used?
I'm sure you're confused. Don't be. You're not the first guy to get overcome by pussy fever. But knock this shit off now, son. You're embarrassing yourself.
When my partner and I started up, it was long distance... and a shit storm. They were feigning to be male on the internet, I was desperate to have a "safe" boyfriend because I was heckled about being a lesbo at school despite being bisexual as far more accurate.
Turns out they were female-bodied anyway, and I vehemently denied (deny) my attraction to men to try and make my partner - lets call them Andy - more comfortable. Since I just wanted them to stop accusing me of cheating on them with at least half the human population.
So time and an emotionally volatile relationship goes on... I realize I'm trans, Andy doesn't like this but Andy also insists on only having rp/phonesex in the guise of mutually male characters... they have even said vaginas are disgusting and during in-person visits wanted nothing to do with mine. One sided sex sucks.
I'm post-op now, nearly 5 years into a marriage that has not been consummated... in-school after delays from immigration and transition and unfortunately financially reliant on Andy. Andy, who was abused as a child and has severe PTSD, is verbally abusive, would sooner jab me in the ribs than hug me, who gets snappish and cruel if I look at them "wrong"... or seemingly at all.
I'm nearly 20hours drive from family, and so starved for human contact that my wires fritz out whenever someone is just a touchy-feely sort of friend. I feel like a mess...
What do?
I can't even follow your post. No wonder you're so fucked up. I'm crazy too, but you take it to another level.
>>17161015
Damn you're fucked in more ways than one.
>>17161015
First off, you're confused, not trans. That's a bunch of shit. You need to be single for a little while, figure out some shit, and grow up.
You also need a spine. It sounds like your dungeon master or whatever the fuck you call it is really renting out space in your head, making you worse. If you're an easily manipulated person with ego and self image problems (and year, sweetie, you are), a strong personality with their own issues can really, really mess with you. That's why I suggest you get your head on straight and figure out what you want. Do you want to sublimate your own personality for the benefit of another? What, exactly, does that imply about their feelings for you? That screams 'narcissism' and other things that spell bad results for anyone involved with them.
But this isn't just about your weird and inappropriate relationship and using wrong pronouns, either. You need, really need, to know yourself a little better. Only way to do that is to take some time and take care of yourself- physically and emotionally, by growing into a happier person. Self-development. You've spent your entire post talking about what the other person was and did, and little about what you do. What exactly did you get out of that relationship.
Oh, one more thing. Turn off your computer. Let me remind you that outside your windows are real people with real lives. You're in a relationship with a TV character, not the person on the other side of the screen.
Good luck, anyways. You sound like a real dumpster fire right now, and utterly unhappy, as well. Get your shit together. Your relationships won't be able to make you a happy person. You need to do that for yourself. That's the real reason behind my suggestion that you stop and do a little growing.
How do girls smell so good? Every girl I know smells nice for the whole day. Meanwhile, I put on a bit of cologne and it doesn't last for more than an hour.
What's their secret? I want to smell nice too.
Try being not middle-eastern
Pheromones. What you consider good smell is chemistry, not just 'taste'. Girls think manly sweat smells good, not because it's consider 'nice', but because pheromones trigger something on a deeper level.
They might think you smell good, even if you don't think so yourself.
Just wash regularly and you'll be fine.
Also cologne isn't the only product to choose from. I never wear it, but I got a long beard, so I use beard oil with a pleasant, masculine scent.
Does diet have something to do with scent?
I've noticed that I always smell, no matter how hard I scrub myself or how often I shower. Maybe a better diet and more exercise will help my natural scent?
So, my sister is suicidal, she took 30 aspirin of 500mg a few hours ago, she says she just feels dizzy. Sis weighs 112 lbs. Should i be worried? i've been searching all over the internet about the lethal dose, but i only found stories about people who did the same and they're fine.
>>17160941
call an amboolamps immediately.
>>17160941
Take her to urgent care or the local ER.
Call your local emergency health services and get an ambulance if you can't drive her there quickly.
That dose likely won't kill her, but if it causes respiratory arrest, you may not be able to bring her out of it with CPR fast enough. So get her to the ER, they'll be able to immediately resuscitate her if she stops breathing.
>>17160941
And while you're sitting in the waiting room (or back), could you explain what's been going on with her?
Is she seeing a psychiatrist and therapist? Gota a diagnosis? On medication?
How long has this been going on?
Imagine you were attached to a bed in a psychiatric institution, restrained, and on a suicide watch.
In theory, would it be possible for you to kill yourself? If so, how?
let me guess, asking for a friend?
Hold your breath until you pass out. If you wake up, do it again. If you don't die, at least you'll get brain damage and won't care any more.
>>17160919
>suicide watch
Yeah, not possible, even if you hold your breath they'll resuscitate you.
I recently learned my boyfriend of 3 years has an okcupid account, which he previously told me he deleted. For about a month last fall he was talking to a girl he met on okcupid and had been lying to me about it; told me multiple times he wasn't speaking to her because I requested it. He finally admitted to it but maintained that it was fully platonic. He let me read some of the texts, many if which upset me greatly, i.e. texts calling her "babydoll" and saying "your smiles make my day". I broke up with him and moved out. He spent the night pursuing me and apologizing and I did take him back (I know.) Now, I saw the other day that the app was on the phone and asked what was going on. He told me he reenabled it one day during a fight and didn't use it since. He confessed to messaging two girls, unromantically, about pets. I asked him to promise if that was all and he promised it was. I asked him to delete it and he said he would. Now, two weeks later, I ask if it's deleted while laying in bed last night. He says it's not yet. I then feel aware of a suspicion I haven't been able to shake and say I know he messaged more than two girls. He confirms this. I'm crying feeling horrible and ask if I can read the messages. He says no but that they're fine because he wasn't misbehaving. I start packing my stuff even though we live together and I have nowhere to go. When he falls asleep, I check it on his phone and see its automatically logged in. I need advice
I'm not perfect but I do get attention from men and I don't take them up on it just because it's there. I'm working, in school, I cook, do basically anything he wants sex-wise. I feel like he's crushed my self esteem to a point where I can take infinite abuse from him and there are no boundaries because it's "his" apartment, car, pets, etc., technically.
guy next door refused to help me, the next one aswell. What should I do? I'm serious guys.
Wait till they leave, pull up your pants but not too far up, also leave your underwear as loose as possible but not so loose that it bunches up and touches your ass. Then carefully walk into the next stall and wipe, simple.
>>17160899
its in mall centre, restroom is full of people all the time, I'm waiting about 10 minutes now
>>17160899
Okay I re-read your post and now I'm confused, I assumed you were in public.
If you are at home, you have the option of kitchen roll, or any form of paper you can find, but really the best option is to get into the shower and spray the living hell out of your ass and make sure to wash your legs off properly.
Hey adv,
24/f here.
To begin, I am NOT attracted to children physically.
Now that I got that out of the way, two of my biggest fetishes are age gap and incest. Although I do enjoy watching porn, I like reading erotica as well. But in the erotica, I quite often read about older guys raping and taking advantage of toddlers and children of nearly all ages.
Am I still considered a pedo?
Would you be creeped out as a potential boyfriend or friend if you found the material I read?
How do I stop orgasming to this? I feel a lot of shame after. Especially when the stories involve babies.
>>17160820
So you imagine yourself to be the kid? That's kind of hot and can lead to interesting roleplay.
I wouldn't worry about it.
>>17160827
Eh. Maybe I do. I like ageplay to an extent. And I like pretending I'm innocent as in "daddy did you leave a hard remote on your lap before I sat on it? I feel something rubbing against me"
I try not to worry, but once I have to close all of my tabs after orgasm, I feel so guilty.
You should keep that for yourself.
What can be a cause of pain in the lower right hand side of your abdominal?
>>17160817
Apendix or congratulations your eggs are dropping!
>>17160817
Almost always Apendix.
Go to the hospital. NOW. That stuff kills you when untreated.
>>17160819
I'm a man.
