Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 743. page
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How do I stop being so insecure about my girlfriends vibrator?
I even was the reason she got it but now I just fell insecure since I can't compete with it in terms of stimulation. Using it on her doesn't make it better either since it still isn't me that is making her cum but the vibe. I want to get over this but I'm strugglingf to do so.
use it
Tie a rubber band around your erect penis and then kill yourself. Ultimate middle finger jab to her cervix.
You'll never have a vibrating dick quit comparing yourself to a machine.
Do you feel dumb because calculators are better at math than you?
Help me out.
>In a relationship
>this milf wants to meet tomorrow and fuck
>my sex life hasnt been the greatest lately
>kinda want to fuck het but at the same time have major doubts
Should i or should i not? Its just pussy anyway. Might as well pass am i right?
Sort out your fucking relationship. Talk about your problems, ifn you can't come to some solution break up. Quit being a fucking pussy.
Fucking some milf will get your dick wet and fuck everything up in the long term.
>>17163612
If you don't value your relationship and don't respect/give a shit about your partner, sure - go for it. Otherwise, pass.
>>17163616
Weve been together for 6 years. Last three weve been having sex like once or twice a month. We have talked about this. I want sex atleast two times a day , she once a month
Any good tips on redecorating a room for a more Gothic feel? Not necessarily Victorian, more-so modern, like a Kenzi - Lost Girl sort of deal. Tips on homemade decoration stuffs would be nice as well; I have no problem cutting things up or crafting things if need be.
>>17163611
Bump.
>>17163611
>>17163656
Just go to Hot Topics, and buy black stuff
>>17163663
That's what I was thinking. Is there anything I could do until then? Like I was saying, homemade stuff or anything like that. I'm pretty sure I have a bunch of crap in the toolshed like cans of spraypaint.
I've developed a very intense crush on a certain dude at college - and after years of being ignored by guys (romantically) for unknown reasons, I think I'm in with a chance.
However, I am worried that my masculine-ish nature and appearance (which I'm not willing to share) instantly send me to the bro-zone.
However immature this may be, I wonder if any of you guys out there think I may need to appear more feminine for this dude so he may find me more appealing, or just to stay me and see how it goes?
If u like this dude and u think he likes u then he likes you as you are now
That being said maybe a new haircut or subtle change might push him over the edge and build his courage more...then again it might do the opposite...gota roll the dice on this 1 i guess
Your truely male anon
Thanks for the tips. Just to clarify, I have very short, male-length hair. I often see him staring at all the tall blonde bombshells. And here I am, miss stubby.
Honestly, would you instantly fall in love with someone if they changed something little about themselves?
So... Hello there /adv.
I've never actually posted on 4chan, but I might as well do it now, since I don't know anyplace else where I can be anon and still get loads of feedback...
>Be me, fairly loner femanon.
>Meet nice guy over the net, we get along.
>Eventually develop romantic feelings with guy. Guy feels back.
>Talk and flirt and be romantic with guy over net for 2 years.
>Both agree that we should see other people until we can meet.
>Time goes by, he starts talking about eventually moving in with me, having children.
>Ohshit.jpg
>Doesn't abort, keeps going, because guy is nice.
>Has lost romantic feel for guy.
>Eventually start in new class, meet nice grill, we hit off. (Yes, go both ways.)
>Tell guy that I met nice grill.
>Guy has told before that he likes FF scenes.
>Guy gets depressed, sad, drinks alot.
>Guy cries.
>Tell guy that nothing has changed.
>Tell guy I will always love him.
>Guy recovers, becomes happy again.
>Guy professes undying love.
>Guy starts making eventual plans to move to me.
>Ohfuck.png
So, /adv. How do I let this guy off easy? How do I break off his romantic interest without him offing himself? How do I make him not depressed?
>>17163566
You can't control how he reacts but
>Tell guy I will always love him.
What the fuck, seriously? You deserve to feel guilty about whatever happens.
>>17163566
Why is everyone so fucking retarded?
Hey /adv/. Finally decided to do something with my fat fuck self. I'm getting married next summer and I'm starting to go to the gym regularly. I'm not looking for any shortcuts, I honestly want to get healthy even if it kills my muscles trying. I would really like this sort of body type but I'm not sure which workout regimen to use. I'm literally starting from nothing. I need some advise
Hit weights count calories.
Read the sticky over at >>>/fit/
It explains diet and exercise in such a casual, no bullshit way that it makes it almost too easy to change your life into something healthier.
>>17163585
Already posted to /fit/. Getting bullshit responses
How do you not be weird?
I was talking with a friend and he told me that I am just a weird person to talk to, that a lot of the stuff I say comes out of the left field. How do I not be weird? It hurt to hear that from someone I really look up to. I had a suspicion something was wrong with me, and he telling me this makes me believe it.
How do I be normal? And interact with people on a good level?
Do you maybe have an example of something "weird" you say? Maybe your friend is just a prude.
>>17163505
I'll just say really left field stuff. Kind of like Yuko, pic related, if you've seen Nichijou.
Let's just assume he's right. How do I become more of a normal person? I'm always afraid somethign is wrong with me, that people don't like me because of the way I look and act. Just the way I am.
Be cool being who you are, maybe further down the line you can change a thing or two about you, but don't make it your goal to suddenly change yourself just because of the opinion of others, itll fuck you up.
I'm really bad at math, and I want to know: If I have an 80% chance of getting x, and there were 84 unique instances of x, how many times would I have to try for x to get all 84? The way I did it was:
84*1.8 = 151.2 tries
Is this right?
I'll add that this isn't homework... I'm trying to determine how long it's going to take to get the rest of the common reqs in Halo 5 from bronze packs. I already know I can make ~10000 req points an hour, and each bronze pack is 1000 req points. There seems to be roughly an 80% chance of getting a common from a bronze pack, and with 84 commons left, I'm just wondering how many packs I have to open. If I did the math right, it would take just over 15 hours. I'm likely wrong though because as I said, I suck at math... can anyone point me in the right direction, or at least to the appropriate formula for this kind of problem?
And yes, I know all of this is a waste of time, but I'm not doing anything else between sleep and work, so yeah...
>>17163498
more clarification: I got 15+ hours from 151.2 tries * 1000 req points / the 10000 req points per hour
I can't be fucked explaining it to you so I'm just going to give you the answer. It's 105, assuming you don't get repeats.
>>17163498
Assuming that it's impossible to get duplicates, it's actually only around 105 tries.
If you can get duplicates, then you're in for the fucking long haul, buddy.
I was at the bar tonight. This girl just broke up a few days ago with her boyfriend, and we talked for an hour and a half.
We started getting more handsy, and eventually she said I could drive her home, and then we were leaving and she was saying goodbye to some people and I went ahead, so one old guy was like "ill drive you home" so they went out and he told me hes driving her home to protect her, and she said I could follow in my car.
So then I got in my car, and they'd already driven off cause the old guy drove.
What should I do next time so this kind of shit doesn't happen? It feels like you can't say anything when a cockblocker guy says he's protecting a girl, so I felt uncomfortable telling him to get lost.
She got fucked deep by the old goat. Great job!
How about next time you question his real intents, tell him to fuck off and tell the girl to come. If she doesn't and chooses the old fucker, fuck that. Either way, you don't come off as a loser cuck which you did now.
>>17163512
That old guy needs a lesson.
>>17163497
God that's a fucking brutal way to go.
Anyways, if you think the price of being uncomfortable while telling somebody to fuck off is worth the better chance of getting it in, then just tell them to fuck off.
I guess if you want to avoid the situation entirely, try to seal the deal before she looks / actually is drunk enough for white knights to feel the need to step in
I'm a senior that just graduated high school, on the last day of school my parents found out I sold weed, drank alcohol, and frequently ha sex with my girlfriend. They were horrified at what I had on my phone and how I talked. I have never shown this type of behavior to my parents before and they are severely dissapointed in me. I have lied again and again to my parents, i search for the easy way out of everything and its only getjng worse. My parents weren't proud of me when I walked the line. My girlfriend was very supportive an helped me through most of this. As 2 weeks passed I started to regain their trust, however being the fucking idiot I am my best friend and I decided to get wasted and tried to sneak out at 4am where my mom caught us. We were going to a party but I told them we were just going to help a friend get home. They were else weepy upset because after all of the apologizing I still managed to lie again to them and break their hearts. I'm back to square one again. I also lied to my girlfriend and told her we were going to help a friend but later today she asked me if that was the truth and I couldn't bring myself to continue lying to her so I ended telling her I was trying to sneak out to a party. She is really hurt now and I hate myself so much. I have no reason to lie to her, she's helped me through everything and I dot know why I do the things I do. I'm so sad and depressed that I can't even cry, I'm emotionless and I can't even think. What do I do? How do I fix this? I'm hurting the people I lie most in my life, I'm so selfish and careless, I have very thing a kid could ask for so why am I so stupid and taking it for granted? What do I tell my parents? How can I talk to my girlfriend? She won't even talk to me right now and she said she doesn't want to be together anymore. I'm so upset that I can't even think, I just wanna cry for hours but I can't. Please help me.
I've never felt this feeling before and it makes me want to die
Um get help dumbass
How old are you?
If your gf wants to break up the whole thing over a petty lie without even discussing it, let her.
First of all, stop being a lying little shit. Second, call your parents, tell them you wanna have a family meeting and pour your heart out. Don't make them yell it all out from you, you make the first step and say sorry.
Then again, stop being a little shit and stop lying. It's not that hard unless you have mental problems.
I turn 26 next month, and I too old for qt girls?
Your stupid
I'm turning 25 and have a fuck buddy whose 33.
Just groom yourself and take care of your body somewhat, you'll be fine.
There's some people that still look hot into their fifties.
>>17163483
>and I too old for qt girls?
No, you're too stupid to reproduce
So, I come to /adv/ knowing you will give it to me straight. I need to know if I'm being a whiney bitch, or if this chick needs to get called the fuck out.
A little bit of background on this bitch:
> Best friend starts dating the bitch
> Bitch is still married to her husband
> Year later, leaves husband
> Still married, though
> Get engaged to my best friend
> He becomes totally fucking pussy whipped like a fag.
> Bitch wears shit to constantly put her cleavage on display
> pic related
> often times doesn't come home until way fucking late, but that's none of my business.
> I try to keep the peace, even though I don't necessarily like her.
So, here's where things have changed, and she pissed me the fuck off.
> Everyone is passionate about something.
> I'm passionate about filmmaking.
> Want to make short film.
> Role requires nudity
> Since chick has a massive Facebook following, as whores usually do, I ask her if she knows anyone that would be good for the role.
> She says she'll ask her friends.
> Mention role requires nudity.
> "None of my friends are going to do something like THAT! They wouldn't be interested. Sorry. Good luck. Try somewhere else."
> Okay, was just wondering if maybe you knew someone.
> "I don't know why you'd think I'd have friends like that."
> At this point, I know I've offended this retard, and I think she tried to offend me.
> "Maybe some of your girlfriend's friends will do it."
The conversation with her ends at this point, other than minor bullshit, but the more I think about it.. the more I'm fucking pissed. It's been a couple days now, and I'm still pissed over this shit.
The way I took it, is that this bitch is saying her friends are too good for being in my short film. Plus, she's saying that she's not even going to ask them, because she just happens to know that none of them would be interested.
I didn't bother to read that but you seem like a whiny annoying person.
lol
>>17163473
/thread
>>17163471
You're a whiny bitch who can't spell. Post an ad on craigslist if you want to "film" an nude scene
Recently I've come to the realization that I'm probably, by all definitions, just a plain awful person. In fact, I would say my faith in Jesus probably stemmed from the realization that literally, only God could forgive me.
I've vandalized people's houses, stores and restaurants, keyed people's cars, I've framed co-workers and gotten them fired, stolen several thousands worth in merchandise, straight up robbed people, threatened people with knives, slashed people's tires, pissed on people's front doors, I've killed people's pets, I've beaten people up.
And yet it all feels so insincere. I'd be completely and utterly lying if I said I didn't fantasize about murder every single day since I was about 7, when I first vividly remember plotting how to murder my father in his sleep with his favourite meat cleaver. I never did it, because his usefulness exceeded my hatred of him, but I still feel like I probably might end up stabbing him eventually. The best way to do it would be to poison him, than play the part of the gracious son, there to hold his hand while he dies, say a little prayer for him, there to deliver a touching eulogy at his funeral, there to collect what little wealth he had and use it for something useful, which he never did.
I keep hearing some statistic that men think about sex 7 times a day or something like that. Sometimes I feel like I think about murder in the same way. I've had sexual relationships before of course, and it's nice. It's also socially acceptable, while sadly murder isn't.
The truth is, the only person I really feel connected to is Jesus. I feel like I have to pretend to like other people all the time. You have to if you wish to maintain any semblance of a functional life.
I really don't want to be like this. I want to be a nice person. I'd love to be the kind of guy who gives to charities, helps people and makes people genuinely glad to see me. But the truth is I'm not.
Basically, how do I become a good person?
>>17163410
If you want to change- religion is not the answer.
Admitting that you've done terrible things is the first step.
The next is working to change your behavior to become who you want to be. This will take years of hard work.
You've learned that violence gets you what you want- it's going to be hard to change.
>>17163423
The Bible and other Christians is the only thing that really speaks to me anymore. I'm very much convinced Satan has taken hold of much of this world and we are heading towards the days of Revelation, simply judging from the patterns of society today. I would not be surprised to see another great flood or ice age God uses to wipe the slate clean if now is not the time for Jesus to arrive.
I really want to be a good person. I know I'm a sinner and I know I've done terrible things, I know I've directly disobeyed the ten commandments. I feel like doing charity work through a church or something might make me feel happier. Whenever I close my eyes and dream, I always see myself as a head of state or political figure in my country guiding people with the word of Jesus. All the politicians I admire are devout Christians. Sometimes I think that's what god has planned for me.
I don't blame others for my wrongdoings. I wasn't raised in a very good household, if you can believe it my brother is arguably much, much worse a person than I am. He's possibly also actually killed people. The big difference between him and I is he has no remorse and he doesn't not strive to correct his wrongdoings. I want to be a leader of people, I always see myself delivering speeches to people and issuing commands. I don't want to be some loser who commits crimes and goes against God.
But I feel like I just have this rage, this darkness inside of me. There's something nasty inside me, some part of me that hates other people. I don't want that part of me, I want to excise it and remove it like a tumor. I know no person is perfect and all men are sinners in the eyes of God.
I just want to leave this world knowing I did something good for mankind.
>>17163410
Join the military. They can always use a good sociopath that can pass for normal.
Speeding ticket help
So I got a traffic ticket out of state in Colorado Mesa County. (Apparently a hard county for lawyers to fight in). It was for 15 over and not having proof of insurance. They said they'd drop the insurance charge if I show proof of insurance. I talked to the attorney and he said we could settle it by mail and have the speeding reduced to driving too fast for road conditions. Should I take the offer? How will it affect my insurance? What do? Picture semi-related
Don't fucking drive without insurance or speed you dumb nigger.
Just listen to your lawyer
>>17163345
I know this now. Should I take the offer?
>>17163352
Do you have a better option?
I hate school work so much. I get good grades, the work is challenging but not a big deal if I apply myself, but I can't stand doing it whatsoever. I'm a full-time online college student studying business.
It kills me because I could be a Dean's List student with a 3.8 GPA but forcing myself to do it is the worst. I'm disciplined in other aspects so idk if that's the issue. I work 3-5 days a week, always 15 mins early. I go to therapy weekly. I have regular checkups for my car, teeth, eye-exams. I don't neglect other shit, but I always wait last minute for school work. Is it maybe the way I'm learning? I chose online because I have a lot of social anxiety that made me drop out of high school.
>>17163327
search ADHD
perhaps school work looks too easy or bored for you
>>17163339
>>17163327
When you do school work, you are in the environment and time frame where you could be doing other, leisurely things. Since we have so much in our lives pushing us to instant gratification, we are held back. ADHD is the overdiagnosed go-to, I'd forget it if I were you.
Same boat mostly
Same problem. I've found timing myself helps a lot. 120 minutes before moving on to something else productive is my sweet spot, and I get a lot done this way.
Preferably find a way to disconnect while you're doing your work.
