Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 744. page
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>[part1]
How the fuck do I deal with nosy/up in my business type people? I guess narcissistic is the word for some of their behaviour.
Here's the situation:
>Got a job working for some friends
>This job requires me to stay for a few days, and work all day in a small room with about 4 other people
>A few of the people are fine, but two of them love to dig into my business when there is nothing else to talk about
>They...
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>[part2]
I can't be rude or mean because I have to basically live with them for a couple days, and even when I try to give them good news, they immediately change subjects to something bad, or ask about something that had been bothering me. And the part that gets me is that I don't volunteer my life info, they fucking question me about it. But if I were to say 'I don't want to talk about it', then they get on me about that too and say I'm being defensive or trying to hide shit. And again, I can take critique. I know...
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>>17163296
They sound like cunts. Give very vague answers. You could try invading their space in a similar manner. But keep the money flowing.
>>17163306
I've tried giving vague answers and only keeping it to positive subjects, but they question me further. And I have actually tried to turn the questions around on them, in a positive way, but they either give a vague answer back and go quiet, or start say a little bit then question me more.
Usually I try to go to the bathroom or something, but god fucking forbid if I'm not working, then they get on me about that. I'm at the point where I almost want to fucking quit.
And I can't say...
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Alright /adv/ help me settle an argument with a flatmate.
Flatmate 1 goes to kitchen and turns on disposal to find there was silverware inside and gets mad at flatmate 2 for not checking to make sure nothing was inside last time they handles dishes in the sink. Flatmate 2 insists that flatmate 1 was responsible for checking the garbage disposal before turning it on despite flatmate 1 having already done so the last time THEY handles dishes in the sink the day before.
Who is in the wrong for messing up the disposal and needs to pay for it.
>>17163265
Both of them.
Compromise and split the costs.
>>17163265
Are you flatmate 1 or 2?
Both should check, thus both should pay for it, or flip a coin
Whoever turned it on should have checked that it was clear prior to hitting the switch. While it would be nice for everyone to make sure nothing goes into it every time the sink is used, it's the moment the disposal is turned on that responsibility is taken by the person who turned it on.
![160120-eyecontact-stock[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RT7HKja.jpg "160120-eyecontact-stock[1].jpg")
This may or may not sound autistic, but do you guys observe people while walking? I get a lot of awkward glances back but I can't help it.
Also autism general.
Yeah. I'm not an autist but I'm socially retarded and somewhat crazy
>>17163264
Depends on the context.
If you make eye contact with someone there's nothing wrong with smiling and saying hello or w/e so it's not awkward.
It's all about how you react to the situation.
>>17163264
Yes and i have to work hard on trying to empty my head if there's a lot of people
And i hate it when a girl looks at me while walking or when im in a bus because i never know why did she look and if i look at her sometimes we stare at each other sometimes she acts like she didn't look so we keep on chasing the look one after the other and its weird to me
I mean im not retarded looking so dunno why that happens
And yes im actually autistic but i hide it pretty well
>Be in a stable 4 year relationship
>Have a raging hate boner for a friend
>Cool friend, terrible ideology and no inclination to back up her shit
>Also have a heartwarming boner for a 16 year old friend (I just had my 21th birthday)
>Smart and kinda conflicted
>Both in a relationship (they are bi and different ones ofc)
>Suffer
How do I master my twisted desires? They are not even that hot but their personalities and my obsesive personality make this troublesome.
>>17163239
So you would cheat if they were single? Have you considered a polugamous relationship? How about your partner? IMO this things are too much if a hassle. Just stay faithful and strong. Do not fuck your or anyone's shit up.
You're in a relationship don't go sticking your dick in everything that moved like a animal
I am currently going through some nasty shit for nearly succumbing to shit like this. Kinda liked my gf of 5 years' best friend (never actually done anything but lots of back and forwards). Was caught and am now hated by her family and friends, she is trying to come to terms with it. Feels bad man
Sup /adv/ I just wet my bed, I'm fucking 19 years old.
How the hell do I clean this up, besides the ordinary of just throwing all the sheets in the washing machine?
>>17163232
Just kill yourself so your mom would have to clean it for you
>>17163232
Take a shower too.
From Google:
1. Use a dry towel, cloth, or paper towels to lightly blot up the excess urine, then strip the bed. Avoid rubbing the stain, as this will only spread the urine deeper into the mattress.
2. Sprinkle baking soda onto the affected area to absorb the remaining moisture.
3. Make a solution of biological washing powder – we like Persil Bio – and water. Alternatively, if you don’t mind the smell (which can be somewhat potent at first) you can try a solution of one part white vinegar to one part warm water.
4. Spray your chosen onto the stain and leaving...
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Oh my god, help me /adv/, I'm in love and it's horrible:
>Back in October 21yo me meets 28yo bisexual, married woman
>Regular at my cafe, lives in another town, wife lives in another state
>She wants to be friends but admits attraction to me
>She tries to get me to have sex with her multiple times, I always stop her/have performance anxiety because of guilt/virginity
>Finally have sex, it's confusing,...
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Amendment: I hung out with her in her home town alone and helped her sort through things at work. It was pretty platonic and she even texted her wife that I was there. It goes in cycles.
>>17163216
You've already posted this and for some reason, you made it even longer
>>17163219
I posted it once, it's the same length minus the second post, which happened today, and only one person replied with "You live in a very strange world"
How do I change my thinking and mindset?
I have had a very grim and hopeless outlook on life. In short, I feel distant from other people from my lack of social contact and poor upbringing. To me, it is like I'm metaphorically on a different radio frequency than the majority of people, as the things ive accepted and the way my reality is shaped is adverse to that of others.
I imagine that I'm down a mental road and I've traveled too far, unable to turn back. As if I cannot unaccept the truths I've decided about the world. I can't change...
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[spoiler] This cloud has been hanging over me the past several years. I learned that from my mother that I was conceived of rape, that my father was fearful of their marriage and so aggressively forced her to have a child that they would have to raise together. He threatened blackmail among other things. Basically he wanted something to fuck until he died, and raped her several times throughout their marriage, aggressively arguing he was entitled to sex.
I have always disliked my father. He was never able to control himself, was in a constant rage, abused and neglected me, used me to burn off emotional energy and irritation. He'd chase me around shouting and swinging, would choke me, hold me underwater, slap, throw, twist, crush, anything to put fear and hysteria into me. Otherwise he would ignore me.
I disliked my mother also, but more so pitied her. She drank and cried to me. She never wanted to discuss the feelings I had, and often brought things back to herself. When she wast drinking or crying to me, she ignored me although sometimes she would read to me which I deeply enjoyed.
My parents were either fighting or ignoring each other. The only cooperation I saw was during meals.
I grew up in a hoarder house, there were narrow paths through sliding piles of trash and paper and towering furniture and boxes. Often our utilities would be shut off. We didn't know when the next bag of groceries was going to be on the table, despite both my parents being full-time employed.
At school I was a brat, bullied and had a quicker mouth and wit than a sense of forethought. Teachers ignored criminal-like behavior aimed at me on several occasions, like being stabbed, thrown headfirst into a wall, tied to a fence during a winter storm, tossed into quick-moving rivers, having bricks thrown at me, and more. They accused me of racism and said I deserved anything I got, saying I was "out to get innocent black boys", and a liar.[/spoiler]
>>17163246
> can't into spoiler tags
kill me now
anyways I've been socially humiliated a lot in the past, lied to and led into intentionally confusing and humiliating situations. Girls especially enjoyed tormenting me and fucking with me, toying with me.
I don't really trust people at all and hate attention. I don't know what others are thinking. Do they dislike me? Do they fear me?
I'm aware my paranoid disposition gives me a different mental...
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Please help
Hi there,
My partner is staying with her parents so i'm home alone for the weekend.
Days before she left, I had a in mind a lot of things to do, like read, watch movies.
Now that she left, and I don't do anything, like lack of motivation.
The only thing I had in mind and I did several times is p*rn, and 4chan
Any advice? Did it happen to you?
oh, the picture was me with my mind thinking in a lot of things, and thinking about thinking in things to do, but doing nothing, just ideas
>>17163186
Look at stuff you might be interested, listen to podcasts that you like. I recommend Tim Ferris
>>17163209
Thanks! Now I am thinking it could be a good idea to watch videos about things I like or about people doing those things, and seeing what they achieve, that could motivate me.
For the past 3 years, I've been in a rut of doing absolutely nothing everyday and lying to others as well as myself.
I'm a 28 year old recluse who wants to play music and make films. I watch all my peers grow up to do interesting things with their lives but that's not for me. I have no desire to have a gf, a house, a job. I just want to play music. I'm afraid I'm just fooling myself. I'm lying to myself.
I don't want to kill myself, never really had that desire. I just feel fucking worthless and stuck. I sit here for hours on...
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Start taking care of your body more. Eat fruits and vegetables, less processed foods and sugar and junk food.
Go calisthenics, or exercise using your body. Add stretching and yoga to that.
Go running or jogging too.
Drink more water. Get more sun.
I'm guessing that your life is stagnant and sedimentary. You need movement. It will inspire your music, and in turn inspire your mind to search for other things.
>>17163147
If you have even the least bit of experience in putting videos together, I'd try posting them on vimeo and see what others think of it. Worth looking into imo.
>>17163147
Problem: in a rut of not doing anything.
Solution: Do something.
It really is that simple. Think of something - anything - to do and pick yourself up and do it. Then do something else that seems like it might be a good idea. Then something else. Eventually a coherent path will form.
>mom gets divorced
>dates short guy who works as a cook
>"I don't want to be around someone who smokes pot"
>finds 6'3" insurance salesman
>smokes pot with him
anon women don't care about height or money it's because you're "toxic"
Of course women care about status, money, and height like men care about breast size and femininity and whatever else it is your hormones drive you to think about. What kind of a retarded woman gets with a man who can't give her good genes or help her support children ?
>>17163069
2bh, my sister (36) is dating a 67 year old man with no money, no legs, a scummy family, and is quite a sleaze himself (physically ugly and personality ugly). He even forced her to give him a blowjob after 2 years into the relationship, and she got pissy. Somehow, she's still with him because she loves him.
I'm physically sickened by the though alone that she's still with him. I tried convincing her to leave several times, but she just doesn't want to leave him.
>>17163106
sounds like she's pretty fucked in the head
Ok fags
How to get qt3.14 girlfriend if you're below average looking. I'm serious. I have no problem getting girls who are around my level of attraction. But now I want a qt.3.14. How do I do it?
Become rich.
>>17163063
Easier said than done, don't you think?
Get her drunk.
Is my texting game weak or am I read too much into this? Haven't heard back from her. Yes I do my xmas shopping early to avoid the crowds.
>>17163048
This when I didn't hear back from hear in half hour.
I have a cousin who texts like you, he's annoying as fuck.
>long messages/multiple messages at once that say a lot of different things are hard to respond to and also take time to respond to
If you were her, how would you respond to the text you just sent? Would you address every single different thing you just told her? I would just respond something like 'haha cool' because I have no idea what part of that message I'd respond to.
Just tell her you were Christmas shopping and leave it to her to ask why. If you have...
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>>17163048
This has to be bait or the most autistic faggot in the world.
How do I get this guy to ask me out?
>19
>totally romantically inexperienced
>work at coffee place
>not starbucks
>regular customer
>looks 25ish
>be still my heart <3
>talk a bit each day
>I'm super warm & friendly
>he is really nice...
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Ask him yourself, silly.
>tfw no cute coffee shop girl ever thinks of me this way
>>17163023
I've totally thought about this, but I guess I'm traditional?
What would I say? I don't even know where we would go!
Hey, /adv/
My dream is to be a bachelor in a big city, and just bang random chicks all the time. I'd have a decent job but it really wouldn't matter. I just love having sex with new people. I'm not an asshole or cruel or anything.
Does this make me a sociopath? Why do I feel so guilty about wanting this? Should I talk to a Therapist?
Pic maybe related
>>17162986
>does wanting sex with different people make me a sociopath
no. cave people did not have disney movies. they fucked whoever they wanted and whoever they could.
you are already aware that the majority of men like to sleep around, so i dont know why you're even pretending with this sociopath shit.
what is your real intention for this thread?
I think my intention is to analyze myself a bit. Does it make me a bad person if my highest aspiration is to have casual sex with a lot of people?
>>17162986
You're like the vast majority of 20-somethings lmao. Stop worrying dude.
It's the first time in over five years that I've attempted a suicide. Ive lost a lot of people and have gone through the grief myself, which is why I thought my wandering thoughts of suicide wouldn't ever amount to another attempt. I know that I have abandonment issues and paranoia, but part of me honestly believe that everyone I know either wants to leave me alone and doesn't because of pity, or they only care about me because of pity.
I don't talk about my desire to die because I'm worried someone I know will stop me from being able to...
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I wish I knew what to tell you. I don't know you but I know I don't want you to die. I feel like I've failed alot with other people but for the few who stick with me, I have to keep going. It's hard when you've got a voice in the back of your head constantly repeating all of your fears and doubts. Please keep going, OP.
>>17162975
You've probably heard this whole thing about how you only have one life, blah blah. Well, there is only one life that's in your possession. If you can't figure out how to make it work and use it to make yourself happy, no need to let it go to waste. If you can't make yourself happy, there are plenty of people who need help and happiness. Make someone else happy before you go. Donate, help out, do some charity, something. Let someone else get some use out of that life you're about to snuff...
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>>17162975
i know how you feel. i'm going through something similar.
empathy is funny. even though i don't know you, i don't want you to kill yourself--even though i really want to die.
