Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 746. page
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>21 year old college student
>missing 11 more classes to graduate
>has first ever job that doesn't have shitty pay, $10/hr
>car insurance is the worst for people younger than 25 even if you're using a shitty sub $1k used car
>public transit is all over the place in my country
>biking is an absolute nightmare because cars are everywhere at all times
I'm pissed off with having to live with my parents, and I feel like I'm trapped. How the fuck can I get out of this rut? It feels genuinely depressing to have my freedom stripped from me. I feel like my college psych is pushing me towards just saying to myself, "fuck it, I'm worrying too much about shit I haven't done yet, just do it", but I feel like I should accept reality as it is. I don't have that much money to live.
I could attempt to live near campus, but the more affordable areas are way more than 50% of my income, and my parents aren't keen about it either. Am I absolutely shafted, then?
>>17162723
Welcome to the millenial college experience.
Hey at least we aren't like the Gen Xs who owe $200k because dorming at muh private school
>>17162797
You're totally right about that. that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Debt is cancer, I'm here to build credit, not kill it and continue beating it while it's fucking dead.
>>17162802
So suck it up and live with your parents until you graduate and get a better job
So tomorrow evening I have a Security Guard position I'll be taking from 7pm to 7am Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings (and 1am to 7am on Friday mornings).
It's currently 8:50pm here and I don't know what my sleep should be to prepare for this now. Work is 22 hours away, but I'm not sure how and when I should sleep now to prepare. What should I do?
>>17162686
1am to 7am Friday Mornings NEXT week, I mean. Not tonight.
Work backwards. Figure out when you need to start your shift. Work out how much time you need to commute there, work out how much time you need to get ready prior to leaving your home. Then subtract 8 hours from that time. That's when you need to start your sleep.
>>17162694
Just to add to this, pad out an extra 10-30 minutes to take into account the little things. Preparing shit once you get to the workplace, potential traffic issues, etc.
Ok. So before i tell you people about my issue. id like you to know a bit about me, because its going to be a long and drawn out post. theres going to be a bit of background, a bad time. and a good time. and where i am now.
as for background, Im a 25 y/o guy, ive had sex with 3 women, one was a relationship for 6 years. it ended badly. the second was a one night stand withe her best friend. that was when i found out i do not like one night stands.
the third is my current girlfriend, we've been together for 2 and a half years. no problems at all. we get along great, are into the same things, and both have our own careers.
The first half of my life was shit, in elementary school i was a very white, red headed, adhd obnoxious child. I was picked on, made fun of, bullied, and hated. this went on all throughout middle school, and half of high school.
My junior year in highschool. I went from a 5'4''
super white, red headed afro obnoxious kid with ADHD, to a 5'11'' chiseled, red bearded buzzcut with all the right features. instant popularity.
from there life was a breeze, i made friends who didnt betray me, i had girls hit on me all the time, which i didnt act on because of girl (A). I graduate highschool at 18. for the next two years, i did the typical fuck around, dead end job, have college kick my ass, lost my girlfriend, lost touch with highschool friends ect.. at 20 years old i get my associates, and decide not to continue college. I said fuck it, selfishly used my family connections, and stepped on other peoples toes, and threw people under the bus to be in the spotlight. i made some enemies, i made some friends. i traveled.
fast forward to now. Im 25 years old. have been making 150k - 200k per year for four years. it took me a year to get into the position im in now. I virtually have no bills. a nice high rise apartment, a nice car thats paid for, my beautiful girlfriend, and no end in sight for the success.
bear with me.
on a scale from wizard to chad ive gone from wizard, skipped right over chad to success.
life. was fucking. awesome.
So. this past january, my johnson starts itching. this prick itches for 3 days straight. ive never had an std test but i figured this was a good time. so i go to my local free clinic, and get tested, a few minutes goes by and the man comes back into the room, hes says to me, "well you dont have anything that would make you itch." im relieved. but then he goes on to say "but you do have HIV".
my heart drops to the floor.
a few days go by as i go from panic to rage to depressioin, to desperate. so i go to the doctor to see what can be done and pray the whole time that im a "natural suppresor" or whatever its called. i sit down in the doctors office and he starts telling me that you can live with HIV and it can be manageable.
im relieved. the conversation goes by amd he asks me if im having any symptoms. now, i knew that these symptoms were not related to HIV, but i told him anyways because i figured why not. i could stand to hear him tell me to stop smoking a pack a day, and to quit drinking.
So i tell him my huge list of symptoms that through the use of webmd i could tie to my substance abuse. heres the kicker. he suggests that i do some tests, mri's, ct scans, have my head checked. i asked him why and he says "just a precaution, its most likely nothing serious." two weeks later i get a call to go in and speak to him. I have lung cancer.
nobody knows. not my parents, not my girlfriend, not my friends, not my co workers.
life is black and white.
im losing interest in work.
my awareness of these symptoms are hightened 10 fold.
i cant sleep.
when i do i have the most twisted nightmares. i couldnt even make them up.
i have no drive to do anything.
my life is over.
im a dead man.
>>17162683
>>17162655
>>17162652
Bump cause damn dude that's rough.
My best advice would be to find out how much longer you have left. If it is long try to focus on the good things in life and try to live it like normal. If it is not then say fuck it, quit your job, and use your savings to live life the way you wanted to. Travel, buy nice items and make these last few moments of your life the best that they can be. Your life may be over, but you can still make your final moments be fucking amazing.
I fucked up /adv/. I don't really know what to do
>Have $22,000 Merit Based Scholarship which is based on maintaining 2.5
>Have a rocky first semester with 2.98
>Second semester do completely awful and drown in my work. Get a 1.73 GPA
>Think I just lost my scholarship as well as failed 2 classes with one B and everything else Cs
I don't know what to do. I was hysterical at first. I emailed my academic advisor with something like this. I don't know how to explain to my family that I'm a failure. I don't know how to explain to them that they're $20,000 in debt for no reason. I don't want to lose some of the only friends I have in the world that go to my university. I don't know what to tell my coach or my teammates. My merit based scholarship is the only thing keeping me somewhat able to go there.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I haven't told my parents yet. I honestly briefly contemplated suicide for some stupid reason. I went for a run, came back, and now I'm here. I don't even know what I'm asking really.
I understand why you're feeling that way. that scholarship was golden, man. but you have to accept this mistake and learn from it. you can still go to that university if you want, if you can make it work hopefully. just don't give up. you'll still go to college, but you will have to improve your academics. move on. don't let it defeat you.
>>17162613
The tuition without a Scholarship is more expensive than Harvard. I don't even have a job, and I still can't find one. I guess there are other options, but I'll still be 18,000 in debt and a jobless failure burden to my family...
How come your grades went down ? Did you lose focus or something happened in your life ?
You're not a failure don't worry. Though this pressure might hurt you... can you go back to good grades ? Is it really too late ?
Accept reality. You're not a failure, but you sure as hell dropped in grades, and that needs to be explained, rationalized, in another way than 'you are a failure'
Hey guys it's me again... the most annoying dude on the advice board. One more question I promise! I have a retwist coming up soon. Should I do it (It'll make them more uniform plus I'll have to start all over.) Or keep them natural like this? At first glance you'd sayyyy:
First, is your hair blue?
Do the retwist because eventually it'll be better in the long run. Your hair will grow into the retwist
>>17162586
There are maybe 600 users that have ever been here with experience concerning your hair type. Go to a relevant forum.
>be me
>19 years old
>ginger
>average looking
>awkward
>kissless virgin
>don't know how to talk to girls
>be her
>17 years old
>alright looking,lets say 4/10
>cute,shy,innocent
So i've been talking to this girl on facebook for like 2 weeks maybe.She wants to meet me so bad.I never talked to her irl,i sent her a few voice mails because she wanted to hear my voice and also she knows how i look you.Well I can tell she has a crush on me..She never had a boyfriend(not even kissed),shes innocent and shy but im so socially retarded i don't fucking know what to do.I invited her to my house to watch movies/tv series this weekend and she agreed.Does it means she wants my D? I don't fucking know anons
What now? any tips? please help
(pic not related,kinda)
Fellow (experienced) ginger girl here
Just hanging out is perfect. Make yourself as comfortable as possible - staying home is perfect. Try not to be nervous. It's inevitable, but don't let it show. Don't be fake. Only make a move if you think she's comfortable as well. It'll be ok.
>>17162581
>ginger
>average looking
Umm, what?
>2 weeks maybe.She wants to meet me so bad
>I never talked to her irl
>I invited her to my house
Well, fuck, m8. I hope you have a living will.
>>17162592
do you post under a trip so everyone knows its the same guy giving shit advice?
help me /adv/
i love a grill, she loves me back, but we're never gonna meet each other;
exept in like 2 or 3 years but i dont fucking know if we could maintain a fucking long distance relationship that long
i fucking hate this shit
pls help me
>>17162572
Go see her so she can realize you have 0 chemistry in person.
>>17162572
Protip: it'll never work out. Give up. :)
test
I was over at a friends house, and usually I help him with homework as part of a deal. He got in an argument with his mom over when he is supposed to leave on a trip, and then after enough arguing he said he'd bet her 60 dollars he left on one day and not another. When she showed the travel plan it was the wrong day and he tried to get me to side with him and I teased him about it like sorry you'll have to get a job to make 60 dollars and then he got really butthurt. His mom asked what time he wanted me to come back to help him again with homework and he said she didn't want to know his opinion because he didn't want me to come back, and then when I was leaving he wouldn't even look at me or say bye.
Does that kind of reaction make sense? I was just teasing him but he seemed to take it like a big betrayal.
Sounds like he was just butthurt. Don't read too much into it.
By the way, you need to be 18+ to be on this site.
>>17162560
Is your friend like 9?
>>17162634
What's your point?
>>17162637
No, 16.
I'm a newfag. Really new. Heard great legends about this place and been lurking for a couple months. No idea how to even greentext. Pic related is of me and my pal. Both 18, Scottish, and dumb as shit
Plz help would be appreciated
Traditional awnser would be to keep lurking. Enjoy all boards, not just /b/. /b/ was really fun many years ago but now really is unbearable to visit.
>>17162535
Thank you for your insight
I've checked out histories and humanities, pretty interesting stuff over there
I'm a bisexual and I have already came out to 11 people but I'm wondering how I would come out to the general public. The environment I am in is very accepting so there is so worry about that but I just can't even think about where to start. Does anyone have some advise?
>>17162423
Why do you feel the need to come out? How about you just live your life and not go vegan mode with your sexuality. Nobody cares. Especially if they're already accepting - that just goes to show that your coming out to them isn't interesting or unique in any way.
My advice is shut up.
Get some really colorful clothes, a sign with "I love cock & vag" written on it and go in a crowded public area and scream on top of your lungs " I'm BISEXUAL! LOOK AT ME PEOPLE, I AM BISEXUAL!".
Seriously now, why would you come out to the general public? No one cares about your sexuality, don't shove it in peoples faces, no one will like that.
Hey /adv/. I've been dating this girl for awhile now, the problem is that she is an extreme SJW and believes in stuff like otherkin and the sorts. Normally I would just ignore it but it's been really bothering me because I simply just believe that most of the things she advocates for is stupid. I genuinely do like her besides that, she's a good person, and I want to make things work but I don't know how I feel about dating someone who believes she's a fox. Is it worth it, /adv/? Is there anything I could do to make her at least stop the otherkin shit? Or is it just a phase and I should forget about it for now?
>>17162397
>Is there anything I could do to make her at least stop the otherkin shit?
No. If you don't like the one you're with forget about trying to fix her and move on.
your girlfriend is mentally ill. If you can, make her understand that and seek help. If you can't and you most likely won't be able to dump her and look for a sane person.
>>17162404
THIS.
And no, you won't make her fix herself.
She is mentally ill, and/ or has to grow out of childish* delusions.
(* You are both very young, aren't you?)
>on the phone to her, she's abroad
>casually ask her if she's sure that using facetime doesn't cost so that we don't rack up an expensive bill
>accuses me of trying to come up with an excuse to not speak to her and says 'fine just don't bother speaking to me then'
>then change the subject to lighten the mood and ask her if she still reckons i should get a nose piercing
>ask her questions about how long you have to keep the ring in for, and if you can take it out straight away
>YOU'VE ASKED ME THIS BEFORE WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY YOU DON'T WANT ONE
fucking bitches man, i thought everything was going smoothly again then all of a sudden...BAM. one phone conversation and i'm beginning to feel something is wrong. is it because i'm not assertive enough?
>>17162386
She sounds literally insane, cut your losses OP.
>>17162386
>Girl thinks I have ulterior motives.
Literally every girl everywhere is this.
Also, it seems like she's looking for reasons to lash out at you, why you putting up with that?
Fuck, I'd have been all like "No wonder you think I don't wanna talk to you, when you got that attitude, bitch" then hung up.
Alternatively, I would have used;
>>accuses me of trying to come up with an excuse to not speak to her and says 'fine just don't bother speaking to me then'
As a perfect stopping point. A quick "okay bye".
If you don't want shit, then why are you taking so much shit?
Don't take shit, and you don't get shit.
>>17162398
Ok thanks i'll bear that in mind next time, it just took me by surprise because normally she's very nice and calm and probably stops herself from speaking her mind
How should I approach this next time I speak to her though? Should I just not bring it up or confront her about it?
I cannot get a date.
Attractive 25 year old male. I'm on dating sites (which I know are difficult to begin with) and do a load of extra curricular activities outside of my studies, and I just don't seem to meet a girl who wants to talk. Female friends say I'm not boring etc so I don't have much to go on, and I even saw a dating coach the other week who said my body language/communication style are strong, confident etc.
It's getting a bit frustrating now because people around me who aren't as attractive and arguably are as interesting as a rock seem to fall into relationships and yet I can't get a date. I know it's probably a case of waiting for the right person but still, any help would be great. Maybe suggest a few websites that actually work? Only thing I will say is that this has knocked my confidence a bit but I haven't given up trying!
>>17162377
Need to see a pic!
>>17162416
Give me an email and I'll send one. Not posting publicly!
>>17162421
That means I have to post my email publicly... Not something I want 4 Chen to know...
Do you find yourself attractive?
I am really horned up /adv/. I feel like shit. I am 26 and I have never had sex. I feel so inept.
I am horny but no way to resolve it. Masturbation doesn't even fucking work anymore. I stop feeling physically horny but my brain is still horny after I masturbate. I often continue to watch porn even after I orgasm.
I hate how the male brain works sometimes. I glanced at a womans ass nearly 30 times today. I felt sickened with my self control after. I pride myself on IMPECCABLE self control but obviously women with big butts make my brain go crazy.
I don't like the idea of going to strip clubs or prostitutes because I fear someone seeing me and also I fear losing complete control of my mind and just gorging myself on prostitute bodies.
Help me /adv/. What can I even do? Being a sexless male is torture. I don't have the skill set to attract a female normally. I honestly don't know how regular dudes do it.
>>17162372
>IMPECCABLE self control
You should chill.
Glancing at female's boobs and butts is perfectly normal and everyone does it, including women. Unless you're staring, I guess. Get out more and stop having unrealistic expectations towards yourself.
>>17162391
I understand but I am just so frustrated that I can't do things with women to relieve myself.
go to piratebay
download
the blueprint decoded
transformations
foundations
by real social dynamics
you will learn a lot
I drink occasionaly. Drugs, almost never. Now, I recently decided to get proper fucking annihilated as part of my celebration for graduating college. I'm now applying to research positions in the medical field. It dawned on me that drug tests are now a hurdle rather than a free space.
I know people have methods for eliminating weed from your system, so how do I do that, and what's the time estimate on accomplishing that? I wanted the opinion of true experts, which is why I'm here on /adv/ today.
seriousmonkeybizzness if you can't find monkey whizz at your local head shop. It works if you keep the temperature correct.
You can also just save some money and get a friend's piss.
These are the only guaranteed ways to pass a drug test sans just not smoking period. I've used both methods with success. I have friends that use the synthetic frequently for random tests at work.
>>17162371
Most doctors experiment with drugs especially in college so I wouldn't worry about it. I got an over the counter drug test at Walgreens and found that weed was eliminated from my system in about a week but depending on your body and amount you smoke I heard it can take up to a month to not show up in your pee, even longer if you get a follicle test. When are you expected to be tested?
>>17162409
I had some edibles, and I never get high. That was my first time getting actually high from dealing with weed.
When I am expected to be tested? I have no idea. I'm applying to jobs now, and I'd like to have one within two or three weeks. Not all of these jobs mentioned a drug test, but I've had to overlook some because they explicitly stated they'd need a drug test.
