Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 543. page
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My best friend is male (i.e opposite sex than me). I guess both of us living in different countries help prevent us from falling in love with each other. I can't help but feel sad about our relationship as everyone says that "guys and girls cannot be close friends". I fear losing touch with him, and I understand that we will grow apart when one of us becomes taken.
How to feel better about this? Is it pretty much destined that we will grow apart?
>inb4 yes, you guys probably like each other etc
>>17232943
Usually this goes down 2 ways:
1) Find common ground and talk to him often. When the chance to meet comes, you two will meet up and figure your shit out then.
2) Stop talking to him and maybe bump into each other another time. Or you never see each other again and you realize that there are 7 billion people out there to talk to.
We aren't here to make that decision for you; you have to decide if you're willing to put the effort forward to make this friendship thrive. If overtime you don't feel it's worth it, then stop.
>>17232953
>make this friendship thrive
But people say such friendships are not possible if one is a guy and one is a girl
I told him I do not want to lose touch with him, and he said, well, we can always chitchat every now and then
Guys and girls can be friends, the issue is just when neither of you have other options. That's the biggest farce behind this shit - one of you is on the desperate side of the power struggle.
I have plenty of great female friends, because I can date their friends or have my own life going on where I don't rely on that one connection for all of my emotional and physical support.
Anyways, I digress...
It sounds like you're overthinking this, and you're probably young. One of my best friends of 23 years and I are still close friends and she's banging some 50 year old dude. I hang out with them all the time.
Stop letting preconceived notions govern how you structure your friendships.
I started talking to a random girl, she sent me a pic of her, i though she was preatty, but i think she is not real, help me guys to know who is the real girl in the photo? Btw she told me that is leaving in Cancun
>>17232699
Tell her to put her pinky on her forehead and take a picture. If she refuses, there you go.
Or anything peculiar. I sometimes ask index, middle, pinky up, and Ring/thumb fingers folded.
>>17232699
time stamp on tits you nigger
what's the best way to accomplish this?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0t2soafg0af
craigslist
also hi i remember you
>>17232675
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0drHW2qplkk
Long story short. For several reasons I got forced to move from my city which is way too far from where I currently am to reasonably go back often. And given I know no one here, I'm basically lonely as fuck.
The closest "friends" I've got are 2 hours away, so meeting them often is impossible. And even when they're fine people, they're not close, like the ones I got in my old city.
I've tried getting into card games to have an excuse to go to the store, and it has had just a moderate success. I got to meet some people there, but this doesn't go any deeper than mere acquaintances.
So... What do I do?
Bump? Anyone?
>>17232654
If the problem is a small / non-existent social circle, then the first step to come to mind would be working to expand that, wouldn't it?
Done anything to work towards that apart from the card game / trips to store?
>>17232932
I've tried going to conventions and stuff where people meet, this weekend one will be held for roleplaying games, although the last time I went to one, two months ago, I ended up feeling damn alone because I knew no one.
I can't get a job either until I'm done with some obligations, and this will be my situation for some few more months, probably 5 or so until I'm done. So I'm basically stuck here.
So recently my life has been kind of shitty. I rarely had a support group that really motivated me and helped me out emotionally, but it never really hit me until these last two months. I feel worthless and without meaning. I have friends, but I don't really feel connected to any of them and it's probably because of me. I tend to overthink how people think of me in a negative way which makes me seem like I'm disinterested in people. Even with my closest of friends, I feel like they only see me as someone they sort of like to hang out with.
My parents really were never there for me and usually just bitched me out if I didn't get all As or if I'm not working. Then all of the sudden they split up and now are trying to act buddy buddy with me and I honestly want them to fuck off.
In terms of love life, I haven't dated anyone in almost two years. I got dumped by my gf and I just honestly can't see myself dating anyone again. Mostly because I know I'm not happy, and I don't want to be in a relationship when I can't love myself. I feel like I would just come off as too needy.
Idk famolamborginis. I've been having a lot more intrusive thoughts on suicide and how nobody would give a fuck if I just disappeared. But I know this is toxic thinking. It's just last night I couldn't go to bed because of these shitty thoughts. I do have a therapist, but I feel like it's not really helping me in the long term, I just really really struggle with opening up to people. I just can't do it, I'm too afraid to be vulnerable.
Wtf do I do?
>>17232647
>I do have a therapist, but I feel like it's not really helping me in the long term
I'm going to suggest you to get a new therapist. What you have requires a lot of work and help, and if a therapist doesn't help you, get a new one. Unlike other branches of medicine, psychology requires the patient and the doctor to have a level of connection.
>>17232690
What do you think of psychiatry? I don't want to be dependent on a pill to make me happy, but if it's a chemical problem, I guess I might as well try it.
>>17232754
If it's a chemical imbalance, you should definitely go for it. But remember you need to have your doctor tell you you need it.
at the age of 19, would exercising more help influence penile and facial hair growth through testosterone boost?
my donger's average, but i know i'm not gonna get with anyone (and i'm fine with it), so the size would pretty much purely be for personal gain.
the other's because my facial hair is pathetic as fuck and doesn't deserve to not get shaved. i refer to my facial hair as the "overly proud 14 year old"
>>17232576
Same boat bro, literally dick and beard woes.
I'm scared because my dad has pretty weak facial hair. My moms side all have crazy facial hair though so if God is good it'll come in the next couple years
>>17232576
why do you want facial hair
>>17232611
It's more of I'm currently stuck in limbo between no facial hair and full facial hair, it looks fucking awful
Let's say, Nebraska (most consider undesirable) vs California (one of the top desirable places to live)
Can living in a state actually make a person happier or depressed/more depressed?
eh different stuff can be depressing so I would say yes it can depend upon the state your living in.
>>17232519
I live in California I FUCKING hate this state and the fucking libs and minorities in it. San Fran is a shitty meme city and I won't even go on about LA. Also the LAWS ARE FUCKING HORSESHIT.
Can't wait to get out of this state
Not sure about Ca, but Florida is one of the best places to live. It only has two downsides:
1. Extreme heat during the summer for about 4.5 months, which is better than extreme cold other states have for 6.5 months, like the state that you mentioned, Nebraska... Fuck that.
2. Tougher to get a job, depending on which area of Florida you are in, so choose wisely. Don't just move to a random city or suburb without doing some trusty research.
If you're miserable in Florida, you're just a miserable person and that ain't gonna change by moving to California or Texas. Source: Been living in northern Florida for several years.
Me and a girl were having skype sex and now she is trying to blackmail me so can you destroy her 4cgan
>>17232484
What's she asking for, money?
Just do it first.
Not your personal army.
Just found out I'm in love with my stepsister of five years.
And I've got the hot farts.
Wtf do I do?
>>17232473
the hot farts?
>>17232473
Vaseline, icy hot, or calmoseptine lotion will fix hot farts.
Just keep the thoughts to yourself. Your Stepsister most likely will be creeped out and it would damage your relationship as step siblings completely. I speak from experience as I thought my step bro was hot as hell.
Serious life question.
So I've been looking at getting a degree in Commercial Space Operations and transferring from my school to Embry Riddle for it.
Is this something worth getting? I know that commercial space is booming and I do have a great interest in it.
Would this be a good way to get into commercial space exploration?
>>17232445
Check out the Air Force's space operations job. Pretty much guaranteed to get a job in the private sector or a cushy government job because of the work experience and Top Secret clearance.
>>17232445
I live near JSC and while I don't work for a JSC or related contract (or sub-contract) I know many people who do. You could easily get in around here with a degree like that - Jacobs, SpaceX, Boeing, USA, Lockheed to name some big ones and then many, many small businesses. Double that up with Aero/Mech engineering and you have it made.
>>17232458
>>17232485
I don't know about the military route, I have an apointment with a shrink soon about depression stuff. I think I'm depressed but it might be a result of me staying at the current school I'm in.
Also, I cannot transfer until this winter and I will be a junior. I'm majoring in philosophy (focus on logic) and I'm going to start a math and public administration double major this upcoming year.
If I transfer, I probably will have to spend an extra year or two in school to pick up mech engineering.
What type of girls can actually take a huge dick?
My dick is too fucking girthy and big. My ex complained about it all the time and I thought she just said that shit to make me feel better
But then I started hooking up with girls after her and they all said my dick was too fucking big. I've made many many girls bleed. Some of them liked it in a masochistic type of way, some weren't too happy.
Whaf types of girls are genetically equipped to handle a big penis? I tried black girls but their vaginas are just as small as everyone else's. I heard that tall women (like over 5'7) have large vaginas.
Pls help. Pls respond
>>17232319
Breh let's compromise, we'll split our lengths and girths. Tired of my noodle dick
Post a pic so we can see what they're having to deal with. Upload it to imgur or tinypic and link it here so you won't get banned.
>>17232319
Look man, I'm not asking you to post your face, just post a pic of your dick. We need to know if it's a brautwurst or a Monster drink.
Should I be worried?
I'm soon to be married to the love of my life after 6 years of being together. He has a son in his previous relationship that we don't see. I found out after 2 years of being with my hubs to be that he was cheating on me and playing games with his ex to see his son. We moved past that and now 4 years later she sent a text to hubs brother on there birthday asking to pass on the message. Saying she just wants to talk and gave him two email addresses and a mobile number. I'm not sure how I should feel. I would love to have his son in our world but I don't trust his mother (hubs ex). I also don't want to hinder or stop my husband from reaching out to see his son just because of his ex, that would be unfair.
I guess what I'm asking is how do I approach the subject without deterring my husband because of my own insecurities?
It's not an insecurity when he's already demonstrated to you once before that he's capable of cheating on you. If he hasn't learned his lesson come this time around, I don't think he ever will.
Also, your picture sucks.
>>17232312
Well he does realise that what he did was wrong and that he only ever did it so he could see his son. She played mind games and he fell for it. I like to think he is a stronger person, but I still have doubts. Just because of the love he has for his son.
Could anyone help me ? I am having alot of trouble with my wife, she is mentally, physically and emotional abusive with a burning temper of 1000 suns. I am starting to suspect BPD
Its hard for me to keep my composure when she gets enraged, she expects me to keep calm and patient with her despite what ever she is doing, she can only see from her side and once she hits her peak the small amount of empathy she has dissolves completely.
How can she get rid of her temper? I have pleaded with her to come to therapy but she refuses and blames me for her outbursts. I love her alot and I am scared to do a 180 on my life but I can't keep doing this anymore.
When she gets mad, subtly laugh at her. She's trying to piss you off. If you don't get pissed, she'll stop.
This is a problem you should have addressed before getting married. You shouldn't date people for the purpose of changing them, what you see is what you get. This is doubly true for marriage. You shouldn't expect her to change. Even worse, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. She needs to want therapy in order to change and you can't decide that for her. She needs to be the one to do it on her own. If you are unhappy in this relationship then I advise that you break it off. It is a painful advice to consider but you must face the alternative, which is that you will be in an unhappy relationship for the rest of your life. If her abuse is physical in any way then you should contact the police at once and document everything.
>>17232260
Thanks for your advice, I royally screwed up and now I have to clean my mess
I am easy to manipate via guilt, she has been physical with me in our arguments many times. But she does an amazing job to make me feel like its my fault.
This sounds crazy for me to write and read it back but I feel like it is my fault a little for "triggering" her. I have never struck her back though. Female violence is confusing because it doesn't really hurt me but seeing her enraged does. I'm am unsure how to take this...
It seems no matter what the argument if she doesn't get her way it has the potential to go nuclear. I get I need to leave but could someone help clarify the violence feeling?
Her violence is always different but I have encountered: shaking me, tearing my shirt, slapping my face, throwing and smashing objects near me they may or may not "acciedenlty" hit me. Or she may alternatively hit herself hard and blame me, slit her wrists a little, threaten suicide etc until I go full damage control.
I only have one friend who actively tries to hang out with me, all my other "friends" tend to avoid doing so by citing my strict home life (im 19) and having to jump through hoops just to get me out of the house, or straight up exclude me from all group activities. I've come to the general conclusion there that they dont want me around but are too pussy to tell it to my face. On top of this, I am feeling empty due to lack of women who I am so much as interested in.
My question is, how do I meet new people with an uber strict home life, and succeed at building a healthy social life?
What's your home life like?
>>17232190
I tend to keep to myself at home, I have a job I mean, its only really hard with getting out, parents are a bit overprotective and tend to find excuses to keep me home for whatever reason
>>17232194
How is that so bad that it stops you from having a social life?
I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.
>Have two best friends, of like 20 years
>Our trio builds a larger group of close friends around us, big crew
>Fast forward to to last year
>Silly drama makes one of them hate me, we'll call him M.
>Assume he'll get over it
>Never talk shit about M, never run him through the mud, everyone agrees he's being stubborn and shitty
>M hasn't talked to me in over a year, it's clear our friendship is over - I've tried talking to him in person, he shakes his head like a child, and talks shit shit within earshot whenever he sees me
>M's girlfriend and child just left him, he's spiraling into alcoholism, try to reach out one last time to help. No, fuck me. Alright.
>Our best friend is coming into town this weekend
>Told him mainly to focus on M, dude needs help, I'm not going to hang out if M is around but he's gonna be here for 5 days so hopefully we can spread it out
>M says he's willing to hang out with me in the room, BUT he's still going to keep talking shit and he fucking hates me
>Friends say I should just come, I won't
>All of my group, including my best friend, are going to hang out with this guy instead of me all weekend
>Best friend is gonna make time for a cup of coffee.
I should be really hurt/incensed/sad/whatever, right?
>>17232046
>I should be really hurt/incensed/sad/whatever, right?
No, you told your friend to spend time with M. Why would you turn around and be mad at him for doing what you told him to do?
>>17232046
I didn't want to break the text limit so I left this detail out, but it's reasonably important - I did just go out of town to visit the best friend for a long Memorial Day weekend, and we're going on a beach vacation in two more weeks that M isn't invited on... so it's not like he's completely blowing me off.
It's just the other people that make me feel bummed out.
>>17232046
you don't have to, they can make the progress with him that you wanted to do yourself, they can do the work for you
think of them as negotiators, get them to be an advantage.
black raptor out!
