Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 535. page
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Is it racist if I take Arabic courses in college because I am suspicious of a Muslim resturaunt in my neighborhood?
>>17235126
No, just extremely stupid.
>>17235126
Not per se, because Islam is not a race. Religious bigotry is a strange reason to learn a language, though.
>>17235128
I actually believe this family is terrorist and reported them to FBI. They are very rude people.
So I made plans to see my FwB tonight and even though my period has been over for two days, it just fucking started again.
I chugged back some vinegar two hours ago per google's suggestion..Any grils on /adv/ do anything different? It's little enough to go unnoticed during sex, but obviously not oral.
I can't give any advice but I can sympathise. Seeing my boyfriend this weekend, was due to come on my period two days ago, absolutely nothing yet but I'm sure the flood gates are going to open probably when I arrive through his front door.
Fucking timing man. Thanks Mother Nature.
You're a pathetic whore with zero self esteem imo for having a fwb that probably doesn't even like you or has a girlfriend.... I'm a female BTW..but nonetheless I'll help because I don't judge lol... Anyways, take at least 600mg of naproxen...I can't remember if its advil or aleve, but just look at the back of the boxes and find the one with naproxen as the active ingredient. Anyways it stops period bleeding for some reason....Google it. Naproxen stops menstrual
Just lay some towels down. Oral is asking a bit much but if he's a real man it shouldn't be a huge issue, should it?
How do I make friends after moving out to a different country?
>>17235030
The same way you'd make them anywhere else. Meet people, talk with them, find a few who piss you off the least and hang out with those.
>>17235048
What if I'm not really good at speaking in their language?
>>17235056
Then either learn the language or find people who speak a language you can understand. Generally meeting native speakers and actually talking with them improves language skills quickly.
>Have been together with my girlfriend for four months
>still no sex
>mfw
>I've talked to her about this issue once before
>from what I can tell her parents have made her extremely prudish
>basically I'm going to bring this up one more time, if she doesn't make an effort to be more intimate with me, I'm going to break up with her
What do you guys think of my plan? Am I in the wrong/right?
Suggestions and opinions welcome
>>17235010
Have you actually tried to initiate sex or just talked about the lack of it?
Also, is she a virgin? If so, she might need more time to get there.
>>17235018
OP here:
I have tried to initiate sex but she said wasn't ready so we just talked about it.
Here she told she is a virgin. I explained that I'm not a virgin and she asked me about previous sexual experiences etc.
Do you have experience any experience with girls who are virgins? If so what advice would you give me?
You're going to break up with your girlfriend, who you know is a virgin and is not ready for sex, because she won't sleep with you?
hello /adv/
I'm male, 31, I have decent looks but I lack the tools to "hit it off" with women.
I had an single relationship in my life, although I kissed 3 girls. All of them past my 25 y/o.
Anyway, I'm now looking for a stable relationship, and I've tried my luck with dating apps and sites: I tried the infamous tinder, along with happen, kickoff, etc. No luck from APPs.
I tried HARD using okcupid, and I got almost no responses. No real interest from them.
I had a few interactions and I had two dates with a girl from a dating site that forces women to contact men (men cannot message first). This one girl, happened to be like 50 KG heavier than adverticed. I still tried to give her a chance but it was futile (I didn't really like her).
A few other women messaged me, but they we're wives looking for adventure (No. I don't want that)...
- Is there a network that relies on Linkedin ? I've seen belinked, but it works on iphone only.
(Have you seen all those "douchebag parking" pictures of BMW and giant expensive cars? So, where I live, apple is SO expensive that --usually-- only wealthy douchbags can afford them.
FYI, I own a home, a cheap car, I have a minor degree and I work in technology. I don't look that bad (that's quite a bit, if you take into consideration my low self-esteem). I have good pictures (on vacation, with and without sunglasses, etc)
Have you ever been THERE ? What can you say that would help?
Also ask me if You think I can help You in a way.
What site was that that forces women to make first contact?
I would also say, if you haven't had luck online, stop trying online. I've always had better luck with doing recsports and hobbies meeting people than dating sites.
>>17234956
thanks for your input.
.
I'm afraid you're probably right, but it seems like I'm always looking for a shortcut.
I never did sports, I don't like to dance (It's really a bad idea. I hate those places and loud music). Hobbies, I was told this... problem is that I've tried that in the past. But, as I said, I can't reach the point that everyone seems able to reach where you exchange whatsapps or emails for a group project or homework (Be it a course, language, whatever).
What makes me mad, is that when I'm around friends and their girlfriends; or among coworkers, I'm usually funny and it's easy for me to make them laugh and chitchat. Now, when I am to introduce myself or "get things started", I'm usually cold as stone... -OR- maybe a little too tense.
About that site... well, I know they have mirrors for every country. I speak spanish
https://www.adoptauntio.es/ (spain)
https://www.adoptaunman.com/ (colombia)
You basically create a profile. You may browse women. When you like them, you can "poke" them (you may poke a limited ammount per day, but you can browse them all anytime). Any women (among poked ones or not) may contact you. If they want to message you, they must choose:
a. "you may contact me..."
b. "I'm interested in you"
One way or another, once they messaged you, you may message back.
>>17235028
> I speak spanish
Ya que hablas español te lo cuento asà que me cuesta menos.
En Internet es poco probable que encuentres nada, al menos no en webs/apps de contactos; ya que esas páginas al fin y al cabo están hechas para ganar dinero y siendo hombre lo tienes imposible porque el 99% de los usuarios lo son también.
No es que sea imposible conocer gente por Internet de todas formas. Yo conocà a varias chicas jugando videojuegos online con las que acabé teniendo relaciones más o menos duraderas, pero a menos que quieras relaciones a distancia, las mudanzas siempre han acabado siendo un incordio en mi caso.
Lo que funciona al final siempre va a ser lo de los hobbies que ya te comentaron. Si no sabes cómo llegar a algo más cuando conoces gente puedes leer libros/blogs que ayudan mucho. Aunque al final siempre te van a decir lo mismo: practica, practica y vuelve a practicar. Una vez que hayas hablado con 300 chicas habrás conseguido más de un teléfono por muy autista que puedas parecer.
Tienes libros como The Game (es una novela autobiográfica, no ayuda mucho pero sirve de inspiración) o Day Bang (éste es de los que más me han ayudado a mÃ) y miles más por ahà que puedes leer para al menos tener alguna pista de cómo avanzar cuando te bloqueas o darte cuenta de qué es lo que estás haciendo mal.
Espero que tengas suerte y no te rindas.
PD: Deja de buscar el camino fácil ya que al final sólo conseguirás dar vueltas en cÃrculos sin llegar nunca a nada. Por lo que has escrito no veo que tengas ningún problema de timidez serio, y eso es lo único que podrÃa impedirte conseguir citas a muy corto plazo. Aunque los tuvieras se pueden superar.
So /adv/, I need help.
I have a potential gf. We've kissed, we've held each other etc. Unfortunately, she lives 3 hours away. Much as I can I will arrange to see her, but I'm sure that will be odd weekends, and not as often as I'd want.
So most of our contact will be via phone. So far we've had two phonecalls. Andboth times it seemed to be awkward and I didn't really know what to say.
So what should I talk about? She's been going through a tough-time with stress and stuff so her life isn't going great at the moment, so asking about her day too much doesn't lead to a good conversation.
>>17234925
Unless you have your own car/transport this relationship is going to be a waste of time
it sounds like she's busy and with 3 hours traveling distance, you will very rarely see each other in person.
>>17235022
I can drive. She can drive. Plus there is trains.
I've known this girl for years and we're getting closer and closer. I think next time we meet we will probably fuck.
I just don't want to sound stupid on the phone. Just got to have topics to go with.
What do you talk about when you're together? Talk about that stuff
>She's been going through a tough-time with stress and stuff so her life isn't going great at the moment, so asking about her day too much doesn't lead to a good conversation.
No, but talking to you will lent her vent a little. A problem shared is a problem halved.
My little brother is 15 and his girlfriend who he met online is 30. Should I concerned, should I tell our parents? He sneaks out a lot to see her, I haven't said anything though.
Did you hear about that teacher dating a middle schooler? Something Vera? I think alexandria vera?
nope, that sounds like a sane healthy relationship
>>17234907
bruv lets flip the tables
imagine ur lil sis finds a 30 year old on the internet to bang innit
would u be cool wit it?
no.
on the other hand if this 30 yr old bitch is givin yunn man dome n shit and its all good maybe u could keep it a secret
I sent selfies in undrrwear to a guy. Now hè ignores me. Do you think he is digusted by my body :(
>>17234904
Post pictures for an honest answer.
most definitely
if he doesnt compliment you within the first 10 mins you're ugly/fat
>>17234904
This is common problem with online interactions:
The other side stopped responding.
Possible cases:
>battery died
>internet connection died
>his mom almost died and now he is in hospital with her
>he got what he wanted and didn't even bother to say bay bitch
Rare cases:
>all his blood flowed from head to other regions of his body and now he is unable to type / think
>he felt asleep
>his mom forced him to do something
>he is spammed with so many photos of so many girls that you are just in queue to get a reply
Solution:
Use texting only as a means to get contact in real life or try live-chat with voice and or video, where you see reaction immediately.
I'm an 18 year old kissless virgin about to go to college. I want to seem experienced when I finally hook up with a chick. So like what is the etiquette when kissing? When do you use tongue? What is the proper form? Any advice would be awesome thanks!
>>17234899
I'm in the same boat.
Don't worry about it, is all I can say.
>>17234958
It's kinda scary because I'd say most girls expect you to at least know how to kiss by now. I'm on the same boat as OP so I'm also bumping.
>>17234899
>>17234958
>>17234973
tell her the truth instead.
It's very simple.
Lately I've begun to hate myself for watching anime and getting off to anime girls but I've been doing it for so long I'm having trouble changing, or even figuring out if I should change to begin with. I can't help but feel a massive amount of guilt knowing many of these characters are not of age and every time I give in I begin to hate myself more. I've also been considering becoming a Christian despite not believing but I figure that belief will come with time. Above all I just want to do something about this guilt. I feel like I'm not right. Like I'm a bad person when I get off to anime girls. A feminist online told me that I'm a pedophile for it and I couldn't really deny it knowing some of the anime girls I've looked at. I just want to not feel like I'm fucked up. What should I do?
>>17234888
Try weaning yourself by fapping to some 3D Japanese schoolgirls and then gradually go more normie mode from there. Eventually you should get off porn altogether and just get a gf to bang. Focus on getting a good job and getting fit first though if you haven't done that stuff already.
>>17234914
I'll have to stick with porn. I don't want a girlfriend neither do I want to get married. I'm fairly fit and have an okay job but I suppose I could do better. I've been letting up on my jogging recently. What about the Christian thing? I think it would really be really beneficial if I were to become a Christian as it would give me the driving force necessary to become more normal than I am now.
Regarding those Asian girls I think I should just skip over to white girls. Asian girls tend to have similar body types to anime girls and the whole weening process won't work if I start comparing them.
Murder yourself with a hatchet.
OK, so weird situation happening tonight, sorry in advance for length.
>Grew up with cute girl, had feelings as kids
>Moved away when I was 9
>We reconnected when I was 21 and dated for 3 years
>It was the best time ever. She's really hot. We played tons of Pokemon and got a dog and a house and smoked tons of weed and spent all our time together
>A friend asked if I wanted to hitchhike to Colorado for the summer, so I went with him and lived in the mountains and played music and had all sorts of fun
>I came back, and her and I went to Colorado and lived in the mountains and played music and had all sorts of fun
>One day she told me she was bi and wanted to try a relationship with a girl and wanted to break up in Colorado. That totally sucked but what can you do.
>I drove a rental car back home, dropped her off, and was on my way to drive back to Colorado. I had a pretty sweet job offer in Estes Park. I planned to live there.
>On my way through Kansas I got pulled over and there was a K9 unit and I had some weed on me.
>I was in jail for a month. Suddenly not able to talk to anyone. Nobody would help me in any way.
>When I got out, for my probation, I had to stay in Kansas or go back home, so I went back home because fuck Kansas.
>She had basically turned into a slut and fucked some dudes, my best friend included, fucked some girls. Had become an alcoholic. Not really the person I knew at all.
>We tried to hang out. It was fun, but it felt super weird and off, so we stopped.
>That was about 5 months ago. Right after that she instantly started dating the most boring guy I've ever met and he moved in with her and they got a dog together.
>We had both blocked each other's phones and Facebooks. Then one night me, her, and the friend I went to Colorado with all showed up to this small birthday thing for a mutual friend.
>She was with her boyfriend and it was really weird. I don't think he said anything all night and apparently he hates me for some reason.
?????
>>17234882
cont.
>But her and I were eye-fucking all night.
Fast forward 3 weeks.
>She calls me out of the blue late on a Saturday night, drunk and distraught, and asks if she can come see me. I said sure.
>She comes over and tells me she had a fight with cube boy.
>She all crying and we embrace for a long time and she tells me how much she misses me and how we're soulmates and shit. We talk alone for a while, then my friend comes home. We smoked some weed and she left. I walked her outside. She tried to kiss me. I told her not while she has a boyfriend. She left. That was two weeks ago.
Fast forward to last night.
>My friend I went to Colorado with and I have made amends now. It's just a girl. Whatever.
>We've talked about how she's only dating this dude because he's safe and she wants safe in her lift right now after all the crazy shit she did after Colorado and when I was in jail.
>He messages her last night, after watching on The Office where Phyllis tells Dwight that Angela's not really a risk taker and Andy's not really a risk. So he texted her that. Except about cube boy. And that she should take a risk.
>>17234882
So what the hell is your question?
My girlfriend and I went out for a meal with friends the other day and at one point I went to the bathroom - I was away about two minutes. Anyway, whilst I was gone a male friend of my gfs who was out with the group started talking to her about some art project he's working on. Mid-way he just goes "So, how's your relationship with anon?" My gf replied "Great", but the dude just went "OH, that's surprising. Really? Wouldn't have thought that" in a non-sarcastic tone and pulled a :/ face before leaving.
We're dealing with a slightly mad beta-orbiter here, it seems. My gf told me about it when we got home. I just said "That's a fucked up thing to say to a friend, really. Seems like a dick move - he's odd". I didn't want to overtly call him out as liking her, but I feel like I wasn't strong enough in deterring her away from spending any time with him or letting her know his true intentions.
How do I deal with beta-orbiters better in future? I know you have to tread a fine line between showing what they are, but also not insulting her friends. Usually I just ignore them, but this one got under my skin.
>>17234840
Best thing to do is just ignore him, as you said you usually do. The last thing you want is for your girl to think youre insecure. He'll call it quits eventually if hes not too retarded
>>17234865
This. Simply ignore it. If you show in any way that you're threatened by him, it will only look bad on you. Your girlfriend is probably smart enough to judge a guy and know his intentions - you don't need to spell it out for her. Let him orbit. At the end of the day it's your dick she'll be taking. You can even be extra affectionate (but not too obviously) in front of him just to piss him off. It actually sounds kind of fun to me.
>>17234865
>>17234878
Alright - cool. Do u think my response conveyed any insecurity? I haven't introduced myself to him yet. been toying with the idea of kissing my girlfriend in front of him, then giving him a firm handshake and a smile.
>be 22 with gf 19
>live with parents
>gf lives with borderline abusive mom
>moves through a bunch of roommates, and tries living with her sister, but she kicks her out because she spends too much time at my place
>gf moves in with me eventually
>it's been about a year and my mom is growing more and more resentful of her
>can't afford to move out, will probably have to drop out if I tried
What the hell do I do?
I can't kick out gf on her own, but fuck, I'm lost.
Why is your mom resentful of her? Does your girlfriend pay rent?
My now husband's mom got over it eventually. She was a single mom and he was her only child so she found it hard to let go of him. But all I had to do was be nice to her (and help her launch her home business) and eventually she was forced to admit that I wasn't a she devil.
>>17234849
She doesn't pay rent, and she's anti social so she barely talks. I hate the fact that she's so shy that she can't hold a conversation with someone she's lived with for a year. No way in hell she can get close to my mom like you did to your guys mom. I try to get her to socialize but she Complete ly shuts down, which drives me up the fucking wall but I don't know what else I can do, and I still live her.
She does clean though, and is generally out of the way.
Does your gf work?
Hey /adv/, I'm 23 now, but I guess everything started when I was 3. I was abused by my dad's at-the-time-girlfriend. She would beat me, lock me outside or in my bedroom closet for hours at a time, always called me degraded me by calling me bad or worthless, etc., and at one point she almost drowned me when my 3 year old dumbass over filled the bathtub and she got super pissed. When my dad found out and left her he never talked to me about it, my mom didn't either, but my whole family knows. I've asked about it before when I was still young and my parents were just kind of quiet about it and didn't say anything relevant.
The past few years I've been looking back on my teen years and especially my youth I really held onto that, and things that people did or said. I used to draw a lot and make comics as a kid. I wanted to be an artist or an animator, but my family and friends would tell me its not a real job or its stupid. I started writing a lot when I was around 8 and was really exclusive about it. The one time I showed one of my parents a short story they grimaced at the fiction/fantasy of it and told me how much they despised it. Around 11 I started to play guitar and especially bass guitar and I would feel a release of pressure in my chest I'd never knew I had, but when I told my parents that this is what I wanted to do they told me that so does everyone else and I should start focusing on real career choices.
It seems like all of this negativity has come from women, which has really affected my view of people, especially women in general. I don't find the joy I used to in music or art or literature. I get anxious like years slip away just because I spent 15 minutes playing my bass or drawing a bird.
Does anyone else experience these feelings or have a history similar to me? How do you cope? How can I move on from this?
>>17234800
Keep doing what you love, there's no reason to seek anyone's approval for that
>Ask parents about abuse
>*awkward cough*
>Shows parents story he wrote
>You're a talentless hack kid
The fuck is wrong with them. I can understand not being able to handle the abuse issue (they should have looked you up with a psychologist) but telling a kid that something they created sucks? Especially your own kid? What the hell? Who DOES that?
What you've gone through would give anyone problems. Don't feel guilty or feel like you're weak. Any psychologist would have encouraged you to pursue the guitar. Music therapy is a real and effective method of healing.
>How do I cope
Therapy, my friend.
>How do I move on from this
Also therapy. You'll come to thank yourself for it.
>>17234812
While this is true; for a child, positive affirmation would go a long way. OP never has had that form of support. But I suggest a psychologist.
Hi /adv/
So I started to seeing me friend's bigger brother secretly ofc.
We always had this tension between us and now we started having an affair and even slept together. Should I tell my friend? Is it wrong of me to do this? I think he will get angry at me because he is HIS brother and not mine.. But it's a free world and he can't rule over us! It's really hard to keep something like this a secret..
>>17234769
Umm.. Someone help me please?
>>17234769
well ofc it depends on your friends personality, if hes a chill guy he wont care, if hes the kind of guy who would kill someone / himself then don't tell him, you shouldn't need the internet to tell you this.
>>17234837
Thanks a lot anon, I'm just afraid how he will react u know..
