Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 533. page
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My girlfriend just left /adv/. I last talked and messaged her around two weeks ago. We were still sweet and everything is ok. But after that she stopped replying to my messages and all the time I tried reaching her, she is not replying back.
I even tried contacting her friends and family members and they all won't respond. I don't know who to turn to already. It all came to a shock until recently I saw post on Facebook of her with a guy together with her family and friends on a vacation. I am totally devastated /adv/. I noticed that I am already blocked from her Facebook so I can't anymore ask for any reasons why she left.
I don't know if I had done anything wrong but I just want to know why. We've been together for 3 1/2 years and I can't seem to understand what went wrong. I know her family, she knows my family and all that. She blocked all my family members and my friends.
Is it safe to say that it is really over now? I mean at this stage I just want some answers but I know I won't get them anymore. We were even planning of marriage and all that. Maybe she saw that I am not a husband material and I can't provide for her and all that. But at least she would have faced me and told me why. It just hurts /adv/. My friends and family wanted to comfort me but I just say I am fine but deep inside I am hurting so much.
Was this your first girlfriend ?
Get used to it dude, women do this all the time, they get new partners really quick. I fell for this meme a couple of times
>>17233663
>Was this your first girlfriend ?
She was my 4th girlfriend man. Not counting the other women that I have a fling with.
It's just that I have plans with this girl and I thought we would end up together and all that. I'm 28 years old and she's 30 so I thought we are already mature enough not to do such things as she has done.
In my previous relationships 3 have broken up with me and I broke up with 1 of them. It all hurts like shit but this one was far worse because it came as a complete shock.
>>17233705
Well, I don't know man, women do this all the time. If she's 30 then her clock is ticking , you can still date young beautiful 21 year olds for at least 5 or 10 years if you take care of yourself.
I know it hurts but if she's with another guy already she clearly doesn't care that much.
I would advice you to start dating younger women. And yes it's really over, I just hope you get over this quickly, because she clearly did, she didn't care as much, and probably was already flirting with other men while you were together. Three and a half years is quite a while, this sucks because you probably 'integrated' her into your life, probably you won't get laid in a while so start rebuilding your life as soon as you can. Again I hope you get over this m8, best of luck
I've read that when a guy is attracted to a girl, they tend to puff out their chests and stand up straight. I was talking to a guy outside a bar yesterday and he was kind of slumping over me, maybe because he was quite tell and I'm quite short. Does that mean anything?
Also other things guys do when they like a girl, be they friends, or meeting for the first time.
>Make eye contact
>Playfully tease you
>Touch you
>Completely ignore you
>>17233548
>completely ignore you
Why though
>>17233550
Because they are insecure and afraid of being rejected by you.
While travelling Southeast Asia I have met this local girl in Thailand. I have stayed in Thailand on and off for about 8 months in total and know the country and culture fairly well. Anyway, I have known her for about 6 months now and she has became one of the most important people in my life. She is a wonderful, clever, funny girl very different from your average Thai girl. I can share everything with her and I really trust (try to find a thai girl you can trust) her quite a lot by now.
However, she told me that she has previously worked as a bar girl (prostitute - for those not familiar with Thailand) and I'm really struggling to get over that fact. I understand this is a very common thing in Thailand and a convenient way for poor people to take care of their families and I have seen it plenty of times and while I never really liked it I never got myself hooked on that thought too much. Since I've met her and know about her story, though, I'm so caught up in my mind trying to deal with this topic. I try to rationalize it and tell myself it's just another way to make money and knowing my lazy self I might just go the same way if I grew up in Thailand and I had the choice between working 10 hours a day and being piss poor my entire life or sleeping with some old sugarmama every other night and live the high life but I still refuse to accept it.
Except for this one issue I like absolutely everything about her, but every time I look at her I can't help thinking about all those old men she has slept with and it disgusts me. How do I grow a pair and deal with this?
This thread again
>>17233487
You're dating and loving a prostitute.
Life isn't Pretty woman.
>>17233491
I know I posted a similar thread yesterday but didnt get much helpful response. I rephrased it to get more to the point and am hoping for better luck today.
I really need some useful input.
So I just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me. It took me this long to actually have the courage to go through her phone. I'm 25 and this was my first kiss/first gf. Been dating for one year. She's currently sleeping in my bed behind me and I'm over here on tearing up.
I'm extremely heart broken and terrified of going back to loneliness. This past year has been the best year of my life. I don't think I'll be able to find someone like her again, if I will ever find someone again, but she's a fucking cheater so I gotta leave her.
What can I do so I don't feel like killing myself?
Kill John Lennon
Did you honestly think you would find someone like her pre-cheating the first time around?
You can stop feeling sorry for yourself and find someone better.
Advices on how not to fuck up life?
Anyone can share his experience in life and the lessons he made? Elders are especially welcome
I'll bump with general lifehacks, feel free to contribute
28 here, been in hard relationship already and it gave me some life exp. Have a job, a flat and some friends. Though I feel like 70 now.
1) Avoid toxic people, it's better to be alone than with such one, loneliness is a good price
2) Have rules, never break them even if everyone around you shit at them. Demand from people what you demand from yourself. If there are things you wouldn't forgive yourself, don't forgive others.
3) Have a people you can trust, but don't trust people easily. Never stop doubting anyone and even yourself.
4) Have dreams, but realistic ones. Let the fiction not blind you and reality not crush you. Know your limits, enjoy small things. Learn when it's enough and you have to give up on things, but remember that you can always improve and you should, even if the outcome is not as expected.
5) Relationships with others is what makes you who you are, chose the best ones, drop the worst, and always look for new ones as source of development.
You can tell us, anon. We're here to listen.
Last thread: >>17217817
Repostan because hey, why not. I'm not the happiest guy in the world but I am fairly content. I just got some hangups I want to get over.
I -REALLY- want to hook up with a hung guy and I'm trawling things like planetromeo but I'm so afraid of STDs and getting found out and anxiety in general that I can't dredge up the balls to go for it.
I've done it before but it was like 16 years ago when I was 14. I absolutely loved it, I even turned down the guy's offer to blow me because I was having so much fun sucking his massive cock. Just thinking about the possibility of having something like that again, possibly on call, is making me diamonds.
How do I conquer this crippling fear aside from the usual "JUST DO IT!" ? I need a strong logical argument that wrecks my fears.
It's much easier said than done to stop loving someone who doesn't love you.
"Don't waste your effort on someone who doesn't appreciate it," they all say. And I know I should stop caring so much, but it's so goddamn difficult. Every time I think I'm over it, it always comes back.
I'm waiting for you to come talk to me.
Hello. How is your week going?
>Your age
>Your current worries
>Words of personal advice to give to other people
>Your personal philosophy/moral code
Pick and choose the rest
>Words of advice someone gave you that resonated in a positive way
>The most memorable compliment you have received
>What you like about life
>A moment in your life that changed you or made a huge impact on you
>Positive, earnest words of advice that you received that was deceiving in some way
>Your favorite famous quote
>A short mantra you should tell yourself more often (or already do)
>Your favorite book
Have a nice day.
I believe in this thread
>>17226626
24
Have a final exam in five hours
If you can develop the ability to roll with the punches in life nothing can stop you.
Do no harm but take no shit.
>>17226626
>Age
28
>Current worries
Money to buy house/failing at weight loss/concerns over wasting my youth
>Words of personal advice
Do not squander your golden years. They are truly precious. You will miss them deeply when they are gone.
>Philosophical/moral code
Do whatever you'd like. However, be prepared for the consequences of those actions
>Words of advice that resonated
Guilt is a self inflicted emotion. Never let someone else guilt you.
>The most memorable complement you received
I honestly can't think of one.
>What you like about life
Not being dead and having a relatively comfortable life.
>Moment in life that changed me
One night when I was drifting off to sleep a switch flipped in my brain and I became aware of the finality of death and that I will die. I went into a full month long existential crisis. I never recovered.
>Positive deceiving advice
Just be yourself :^)
>Your favorite book
Wizards First Rule - Terry Goodkind
Ask a 25 year old guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
I used to be like you, unsure, nervous, afraid of women. One day I had enough and decided to make a change. It wasn't easy but I learned a lot and now I pass my wisdom unto you.
Ask away.
What's your favorite neg and how much black eyeshadow do you wear?
what should a 32 year old virgin guy do since he passed the virgin age limit
>>17224909
>GUYS IM SO GREAT BUT YOU GOTTA ASK ME QUESTIONS IM NOT GONNA TELL YOU HOW I MANAGE TO BANG A DIFFERENT HOT GIRL EVERY FUCKING NIGHT WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A TOTALLY REAL THING DOESNT IT?
if that was true wouldnt you be too busy fucking a girl right now? check mate athiots.
I work at pic related and get shit on every day from mostly customers, although management doesn't really give a shit either.
I'm still in school, how do I deal with this?
I'm borderline getting a panic attack when I walk in the store to buy something, I was always a chill dude before this fucking job.
Do I just stop giving a shit? Smoke weed before work?
At this point I don't care about losing the job, I'd just want to have it on my resume for experience.
As someone who works retail, I can say that for the most part, customers are only shit to you if you're shit to them.
that's not true, I go out of my way to help people.
Maybe you work at a nicer store than walmart.
>>17236211
Oh god dude walmart is that stereotypical shit job. If you want to use it for resume experience i think you need to quit professionally, so dont just fuck off till you get fired.
I want to decrease my libido. I have no success with women it's an utter failure and basically I'm throwing the towel in the ring.
How do I reduce my libido and my primal urges whenever I see a hot girl walking so that it just ignorable. Is bitterness the answer?
>>17236174
Chop off that dick
I wouldn't suggest trying to reduce your libido but for your sake I'll try to be helpful.
From what it sounds like, if you truly want to throw in the towel with women, you just need time.
Time to accept that you won't succeed with women, in time that acceptance will quell your primal urges. Just don't desire it, don't think about women, don't masturbate, and eventually those primal urges will recede.
That being said, I don't think it's a good solution but I'm not aware of all the other factors in your life.
anti depressants. solves a bunch usually.
however, it helps with the wimmenz as well, so you can handle them/life. but you also cant get it up or maintain it if you happen to meet a woman while on them.
I try to jack off regurlarly. Masturbating already kills any horniness at the moment of. So i make it a chore where everything is mundane. I also try to distance myself from everything else. Are you neet? I like being a neet, nothing outside in the world excites me.
What's wrong with me? I am smart, decently attractive, have a good career that pays well, a wife and kids, am buying a house, and am highly respected by colleagues. I was even recognized this year for being the top manager at my company of around 300 managers in my position. All of this and I can't be happy.
I have tried to find hobbies, read books on achieving happiness, associate with other people (which I hate), and try to change my routine. Nothing works. All I think every day is what's the point? First, I am not entirely sure that reality is what we think it is. I tend to believe some of the newer theories coming out stating that this is all a simulation. Whether true or not life just seems like an exercise in futility.
If it were just me I'd probably just deal with it silently and eventually kill myself/drink myself to death. I don't want to be selfish though and want my kids to have a father so that's out. The problem is that me remaining alive/in their lives I think may also harmful to them. I don't hit them or verbally abuse them, I am good and faithful to them and their mother, and have given them a very good life, but I lack the patience and energy to be as good of a father as I'd like to be. I just want to lay down, go to sleep, and disappear from existence.
This may be depression, but I don't want to go see anyone, get on meds, and potentially get stigmatized by work, society, government, etc. At this point, I don't know if any other options for me exist on the self-help side. Then again I may just be an ungrateful, miserable douchebag. Anyone have any advice on how they've gotten through this in the past? All in all, help.
It's okay, just doing the same old thing every single day, and eventually you'll be able to enjoy it again, I promise.
How could you not be bored? Yeah, great, you're life is fine, but you've got no stimulation. Everything in your life has just become some task, and trying to push yourself into a hobby is just another one.
What you need is change, man.
Most things you listed are social success; personal success can be very different.
>>17236039
Change what and change how? I have people who rely on me? If I could just pick up and move to another country or something I would. I am going to go see a race this weekend which I've never done so it's not like I am not trying to shake things up.
This girl stole money from me and basically told me off saying I'm not getting it back so my plan is to steal her phone to pay back the debt.
What's the best way to do this? We go to the same school so I'll know where to find her.
>>17236014
Is this her? Does her name begin with j?
>>17236029
No this is some random eGirl
Her name starts with a D
Lol how do you get robbed by a girl
Hey anons/anonettes, i dont normally post here, but really need honest advice, I hope to find it here.
I am currently in a long distance relationship with a women from New Zealand. We text for a couple of hours a day, someone video chat. I couldn't really ask for anything better given that i am a kiss less virgin. I am in love with her(it may just be because shes the only attention i really get from anyone, but none the less i feel like i love her).
We always talk about the same things, talking about our days. any problems in each others life, those sorts of things.Which im completely fine with, but i overthink everything and know it must get boring after awhile for her. What are things people in relationships talk about? Im socially awkward, either that or autistic...
Thanks for your time
>>17235959
Stay honest and the right way will find you.
Honesty means speaking the truth, not just speaking truth—the difference being whether you are selective. Have you told her how much her being there means for you?
>>17236004
>the difference being whether you are selective
what do you mean?
>Have you told her how much her being there means for you?
This morning actually, which is night for her.
"I just want to say how much i love you. Im thankful for everyday you still love me back, and how glad that i managed to find you<3"
Is that too weird?
>>17236015
Yes it's pretty weird, I wouldn't mind if a girl said that to me, but most nowadays girls don't like those cheesy stuff, I'd wish I could find one that does though
Are there really people with normal lives out there? People who don't have phycological issues and have normal functioning families and haven't been abused or abusive? I've been surrounded by fucked up people all my life to the point I really don't know if normal people exist.
You just browse /adv/ too much
>>17235933
Normalfag here
No family is perfect but I can't really complain. Tell us more about your situation, please?
Yeah but when you're fucked up they're not really worth knowing, they don't have the capacity to understand your past experiences and pain. Not saying they don't have their own troubles, but why seek them out?
I live with my girlfriend, we're 20 and she wants us to move out of her parents house desperately to the point it's effecting our relationship. We just don't make enough money to afford our own place and pay the bills we already have (cars, car ins, phones, etc.)
Im willing to do any job that pays enough at this point, just a one bedroom apartment is around $1,100 where we are and that's just rent. We've also looked into some of the nicer mobile homes around us as well. Im constantly applying for better jobs but even with those we'd barely get by.
How did any of you guys move out? And at what age? And any ideas as to how I could manage to do this? (We've also tried the whole roommate thing and it was a disaster)
Pic is just a random apartment layout
Move to a cheaper state? Where do you live cali, NY?
Apartments are always expensive though.
What are you making though? We have no information.
>>17235931
What kind of jobs are you doing right now? Any education or training? How old are you?
Also as another anon commented maybe move to where rent is cheaper?
