Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 238. page
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How do you dump someone when you're scared to? We've only been dating for 3 months and this guy already wants a vast future with me, saying he loves me and shit. Thing is, he's fucked up his life so badly that he will never work a good career, making me the main provider if we have kids. He's pretty emotionally abusive and manipulative, saying he will kill himself if I leave. I think he is just scared of losing me more than he does love me. He wants to marry me and other stuff like that. However, I don't see myself having my full potential with this...
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>>17313822
tell him exactly what you wrote here. that you can't see this working out and that he has to change.
maybe just a notch nicer, you feel?
>>17313829
>>17313829
Thing is, I doubt he would change. He's older than I am and a neet. I don't to be raising a manchild and children. I've never broken up with someone before, it makes me really anxious and I feel horrible. I have more respect than to ghost him, too. Thing is I don't want to break up because although we're not compatible that doesn't mean I want him to kill himself. I just feel like that's such a horrible thing to say...
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>>17313870
love yourself before you love someone else. i he won't change you probably can't help him.
personally for me breakups have been a pivot-point every time. i started to improve in almost everything after a breakup. maybe it's just what he needs. but if you think he really could go for the suicide thing, you should get some help (suicide hotlines) etc. He will need support. But as long as you're not my gf, you should still go for it after preperations are done
I failed badly at getting over my last (and only) girlfriend, and lately I've been wondering why. She was a close friend for about a year or two, then we started flirting more and more, and then for a very brief time (~2 weeks) we started having sex, going on dates, and hanging out with each other all the time. To cut a long story short, I assumed we were exclusive but she was just killing time until she found someone she wanted to be serious with, and when she inevitably broke up with me it wasn't too friendly. I was angry with her because it felt like she'd...
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I want to know how to do this too.
>>17313762
Holy guacamole three years is a long time. And you will never make her regret it ok. Just move on, man.
not sure if this will help you, but here is my story:
ended 2 year relationship; it ended very dirty, found out she cheated on me with one of my "friends"; cut all the contacts to both of them, she would also run after me for a while (ignored her) but then after a while she stopped it and got with him together; this is where I got sick from all the hatred. all i would see is them together and imagining how they better off me etc. so basically being a faggot and get overemotional; at one point i couldnt sleep and eat because of all the hatred. this is where i talked...
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How the fuck do I make myself appear interested in what someone's saying?
I have a pretty monotone voice, and I'm not the most emotional person in general, and as a result people often think they're boring me, or I'm distant, a jerk, etc.
>>17313757
step one: be actually interested in what someone's saying
you could always fake it. Smile, nod, ask questions relating to the person and their experience(s). You don't have to have an excited voice, and if you're really interested, you won't have to fake a thing. Your interest will show.
>>17313826
>if you're really interested, you won't have to fake a thing
Trust me, I do. Unless I'm extremely interested in something.
>>17313757
I just smile with wide open eyes. While they're speaking I move my lips in order to pretend I have an important response to what they are saying.
How do you deal with asshole friends? I am dark Filipino and my friends are racist and call me "Gook McSpook" I kind of laugh it off awkwardly and play along but deep inside I hate it. They also make racist jokes about black people, jews etc. How do I tell them off properly and make them stop being racist?
>>17313741
theres no guarantee they respond well. if you dont like something stand up and say 'stop calling me that' if they do it again say 'im being serious, and im being nice, dont call me that'. if they continue, you leave.
>>17313758
yeah if it comes to the point again where I'm really angry I'm just going to get up and leave and find new friends
You sound like a pussy. Asshole friends are the best kind of friends.
So, for almost three years I was in a relationship with an amazing girl. That ended a few months ago. Meeting here was a total accident, at that.
However, now I'm faced with the issue of- where to meet girls. I've been to bars and all the girls I've met there have been basic, trashy, boring, or just plebs in general and I can't vibe with them (inb4 le gentleman. I know how pretentious I sound, trust me).
My problem is not confidence or self-esteem. I'm a solid 7-8, I dress well, I have my tastes and interests.
So, on that note, where...
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Dont mean to harsh your vibe bro since im in a similar position but id wager nowhere
You might be a 7-8/10 but there are guys who are solid 10s hunting the same girls as you are, why do you think you have a chance?
For guys its a numbers game and its based on luck, even the shittiest, trashiest most boring girl has tons of options when it comes to guys so if you set your standards that high youre narrowing yourself down
Expect a hard road ahead mate
>>17313824
I'd honestly rather be alone than date someone far below my standards. I won't be happy with someone like that at all.
>>17313833
Well, i dont know what to tell you friend
From my experience for guys its either settle for something below your standard or settle for nothing
Before this goes all r9k i just want to say that its very hard to get a girl because well demand for girls is insane since there are alot of single guys looking for girls.
If you narrow your search then it doesnt get easier, but rather harder. Logical right?
How you avoid this problem is a very hard one, most men would tell you its a numbers game and...
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I have a conundrum. Assume you are married, but you also have a mistress. Your mistress is also married and knows about your wife, but is not pressuring you to end your marriage. If you were to pick up a second mistress, would the first be right to consider it to be cheating? Or would she not have a leg to stand on? Assume the wife does not factor into this at all.
Pic unrelated unless you're an O'Keeffe fan, I guess.
>>17313720
Yes. I'm assuming you and your wife are a strictly monogamous relationship. If you guys weren't then there would be no problem here.
This is giving me Crucible vibes.
>>17313732
The wife believes we are monogamous, but she is largely irrelevant to the current situation. I'm wondering if the mistress would be offended if she had another pole sister.
>>17313750
Depends on the person. I would be careful because women can get really jealous. Unless you can tie her fate into yours, there is always the chance that she can tell your wife and fuck up all your shit.
>gf might be pregnant
Fuckfuckfuckfucj pol what do I do? I can't have kids I hate children I never want kids I'm fucked
>>17313685
Congratulations, you got yourself cucked
>>17313685
Well is she or isn't she?
The free market will fix this
What should I do /adv/?
>the mall
Start out by coming back when you turn 18
>>17313628
POMF
>>17313628
don't even bother with them
they're trying to find every reason not to hang out with you
plus people who type like that are stupid
Is it possible for a relationship with a significant age difference (+8 years) to work? I'm 22 and all I know is that his youngest little sister is 28.
>>17313618
You're old enough to make your own decisions without worrying about ppls opinion of this relationship.
>>17313618
>to work
define 'to work'. you are well aware that plenty of people get married despite said age differences, so if thats what you mean why are you asking?
>>17313631
>types a perfectly fine sentence
>chooses ppls
That rly grinds my gears
Is it better to transfer from a CC to UCLA or from another uni like CSUN to UCLA (or the UC system in general)?
>>17313537
>los angeles anon
neighborinos.
>is it better
define better? like whats the goal here. what is 'better' ?
>>17313546
By better I mean like the chances of getting accepted. I could apply directly to the UC but I doubt I'll get accepted with my GPA and lackluster extracurriculars. So I'm looking at other options.
>>17313537
CC is filled with losers and scum with no aspirations. Some are good people. Do yourself a favor and surround yourself with people who challenge you and who will shape and mode you.
>Text girl "Hey do you wanna get really fucking drunk and watch Netflix or something tonight
I am in dire need to get completely fucked up"
>She just replies with
>Hahah
>Possibly
What do I do please help
She said "possibly". She's ok with it. Go ahead, what's the problem?
>>17313552
I dont know what to text in response desu
>>17313555
"10 o'clock then?"
I need a good understanding of their all around culture if I'm gonna be able to impress them
>>17313523
make more than 30k a year
>>17313523
Tell you browse 4chan.
No one mess with 4chan, mate.
NO ONE.
>>17313523
>i wanna impress millenials
Why?
>20 years old
>homeless people and old ladies approach me because I look like a softie
>small feminine hands
>feminine face
>pear shaped
>little facial hair and no chest hair
>physically weak
>parents assume I'm gay (others possibly do too)
>easily blush
>don't...
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>>17313509
Sounds like me that age. Didn't lose it until 21. Didn't proactivately change until around 25. Am 29 and married now in the military.
My advice is, just work out and gain confidence. Go and experience life. People want to have conversations with others who have life experience.
>>17313509
post a pic of yourself and well from there. but generally speaking if you are pear shaped you should diet and/or workout
>>17313509
>im a 6/10 at best
>somehow i havent killed myself isnt that surprising wow i must be the only 6/10 left alive cuz all the others fucking murder themselves.
im a fucking 6 dude, stop acting like its the end of the world.
I wanna get a girlfriend but im too shy/nervous talking to girls. Also,im an introvert and most girls wanna get out ,go to clubs and for walks when i rather to stay home and browse the web... what to do?
Just be confident and make some friends, once you start making new friends try and spend more time with a specific girl in that group, dont be afraid to ask a girl to hangout with you. As long as you keep them intrested and they actually want to spend alot of time with you then you know they want you. Dont ask them out, just kiss them once when you feel like the time is right.
Just know it aint all sunshine and rainbows and some girls are fuckin evil. But when its good shit like this <<<<happens.
>>17313500
But i don't wanna get socialized i have been used to be alone and i dont like changes..
Need advise. A guy at my work took a picture of me with my feet up at work while I was texting. He texted it to my boss saying this is what I do. My boss is super chill and hasn't said anything about it. Now the guy is being a complete asshole. Neither of them know that I know. What do?
From the bosses standpoint, he has an employee who texts at work to complain about other people texting at work. He's probably not too happy with either of you.
I wouldn't turn my back on either of them.
>>17313486
Holy shit, that's actually pretty good perspective
>>17313453
Kick the other employees ass outside of work and tell him of he tries to fuck with your job again youll slash his tires
