Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 236. page
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Help me /adv/, I'm 24 and haven't stopped jacking off since I was 12. I won't delve into the details why I'm going nofap but it is causing massive grief and destruction in my life.
It's the first day and I'm struggling. Send help. Send help now. Please tell me there are nofappers here who can share some wisdom.
I'm going for the long haul, week by week then hopefully month after month. I'm worried what will happen to me if I don't fap for a year. CONDUCTOR!
nofap is life.
pic very related
Here's some pill, stay strong everyone.
>>17314266
>forgot the pill
>going to unpopular tech school
>sign up for housing
>fill out the roommate survey honestly, saying I like video games and don't like sports, etc
>get room assignment today
>find roommate on social media
>they're a total normie
How do I handle this? I don't know how to interact with those kinds of people for long periods of time. I went to a small school with little focus on sports for that very reason
>>17314230
>spongebob picture
>uses the words "social media"
You're a normie yourself jabroni
>>17314230
It'll probably be good for you homie, get you laid and shit even.
>>17314236
I used the last image I saved; it's from /pol/. And what words would you choose to say "facebook, twitter, and instagram?"
My boyfriend hasn't texted me at all today. Are we even still dating?
>>17314220
No, he's moved on to bigger blacker cocks
No he's cheating on you.
A few days ago I woke up to a text message that was a picture of a vagina from a number I didn't recognize. Turns out a girl at my university had accidentally texted me instead of some other guy. We've exchanged light casual conversation. She's two years older than I am and is nothing like me personality wise. Should I try to fuck her?
I'm not in town for another month and a half, and keeping conversation with this chick is kind of hard. She's also the kind of girl to send a pussy pic to a guy whose number she doesn't already have, which makes me think he was a hook up or someone she had just met at a bar. I'm a kissless* virgin and I certainly would like to have sex, but is this really the way to do it?
*once when I was 16, she kissed me though. I didn't make a move
Pic not related
>>17314214
post the pic with a timestamp or you're a lying faggot
>>17314232
I think this is sfw
>>17314270
lol no way this was by accident
Is it possible to master your emotions to the point where you're rarely blinded by your personal opinions and can look at every situation with a Zen-like tranquility, and thus be able to empathize with everyone?
Is it even a good idea to try to do this? People seem to really dislike people who don't have strong passion, emotion, or a zeal to fight for ideals. Would becoming this make me a more unattractive person to everyone I meet because I don't "stand" for anything?
>>17314200
Only a Sith deals in absolutes
I think that's just called being a doormat.
>>17314200
It's called not being a human being. Why does everyone always want these extremes?
I'm in my mid 20's. I always hear people saying they're "lonely".
I don't feel this way. At all. I have my family (mother, father, older brother, all of whom still live in the same household and we all help each other out because lol economy), I have friends (both online who I have long and short conversations with, and play video games online with, as well as offline friends who I pretty much do the same with but irl), I have the internet (various places where I can discuss any given topic I'm actually interested in, in depth, at length, something I'd never find in real life unless I contracted a specific professor to speak with me at length or something).
I don't feel lonely. Ever.
On top of that? I like being alone. I like privacy. I like being able to do literally whatever I want, think/say whatever I want, with literally no judgment. No repercussions. In my mind I can imagine anything and no one would know nor care. When I'm alone I can be at peace, I can meditate, I can think about life and about certain topics like philosophy and psychology and math and science that all interest me. I love having a private place where no one bothers me, no one contradicts me, no one criticizes me, I am by myself and in some sense, experience the ultimate sense of Freedom.
My question here is: Is this wrong? Is there something wrong with me? My problem is that the few times I've tried to express this about myself to people, they've basically told me that it's a lie. That I actually am lonely, that everyone is, and that if I don't find a significant other or some analogy to that, I'm actually sad/depressed/etc. But I'm not, and while they deny that I feel that that is more their problem than mine, I wonder if there is something mentally deficient with me? Or am I actually above people in some way? Is this a blessing or a curse, essentially. I'll predicate that with saying I feel like it's a blessing, that I pity these people who feel lonely and who are so codependent.
>>17314192
>humblebragging on 4chan
>>17314192
>IM NOT LONELY EVER
>posts thread on 4chan
HELLO PLS RESPOND
>>17314192
Well lucky you. l live with supportive parents and siblings, have a few close friends I see multiple times a week (we're going on vacation out of the country next week), and I feel lonely as fuck all the time. But I'm guessing the loneliness I feel is from >tfw no gf ever
well im in a shit situation
>just out of a shitty 2 year relationship
>emotionally abused + manipulated
>meet a pretty hot guy
>really like him
>1 month on, we're dating
>things are p good
>his mom takes the time out of her day to read our messages
>realises we smoke weed together
>flips her shit
>forces him to break up with me
>he doesn't
>she insults me to him every chance she gets
>calls me trash
>accuses my parents whom shes never met as shit parents
>says my life is shit because i smoke weed and im on anti-depressants
>hates my guts
>thinks im driving her son to make bad choices
>tfw we only smoke weed
>tfw she gives him hell everytime she realises that we're together
>tfw the strain on the relationship is REAL but we want to stay together
>tfw i feel like shit bc its mostly my fault somehow
what do /adv/ ???
>>17314160
If you two want it hard enough, you'll get past this. the struggle of parents and their two cents is one of the smallest hurdles you'll face as a couple despite how big it may seem
>>17314378
Yep. As soon as this problem subsides, another arises.
There isn't anything you can do, except prove her wrong and be successful. But true change doesn't come for an external reason.
>parents
>talking to other parents
Are you 16?
Yet another nascent relationship fails to ignite.
I've been dating for a long time. Dating - not relationships. Online dating specifically. Over the last 2 years I've seen about 40-50 girls, and NEVER got past a third date, usually second. They seem to go well, and we continue texting for a while after, before it just peters off and they either just suddenly ignore me or suck up the courage to give me the bad news.
I assume since they're coming back for a second or third date that they are indeed interested. What could I be doing wrong, then?
You have a fuck-awful personality. What do you talk about and where do you go?
You're probably just being too cautious op. Chicks want interesting guys, not ones that are scared to act.
First date should end in a kiss if you can get the mood right. Make light jabs at them throughout the night/day/whatever, flirt, talk about what interests you, and most importantly listen to what interests them.
You have to guide the date instead of letting fuckall happen. But you also have to try and go with the flow.
Shit's complicated yo.
Also less texting more going out
My friend is saying he is going to kill himself rather soon. He doesn't want to talk about it and is only talking through Facebook messager. I told him I'm there for him if he want to talk at anytime but he refuses, trying to get him on teamspeak. What do I do? I have never been in a situation like this.
OP here, he agreed to talk to him on Teamspeak.
>>17314131
Talk to his family about it.
>>17314131
BAstard just wants attention.
Hey anons. I'm finally moving out of my shit place to somewhere in Oakland CA. I know nothing about the place, I'm on my own. Pls help with living information and tips.
>>17314097
isn't oakland fucked up
Clean common areas on a regular basis. Be nice to roommates. Store all your shit in cheap plastic boxes (like from wall mart or something. Bonus points if they're clear) so that it's incredibly easy to move later. Buy light furniture, or ideally a place already furnished (again, makes moving easier). Buy a file folder, use it to store important files. If you're far from the kitchen keep some kitchen appliances in your room, like a water boiler for tea or a jug with water filter for quality h20. It's better to establish some sort of relationship roommates for the sake of conflict resolution/home environment.
Hey OP, Oakland anon here. First of all, the east bay is very diverse and there's a lot to do. Oakland gets a bad rap, but this applies only to certain areas. If you avoid east oakland, and parts of west oakland, you'll be golden. Otherwise, keep your head up and try not to start some shit. There are gangs, but they won't bother you unless you draw attention to yourself.
Now that that's out of the way, make use of BART. It's a subway system all around the bay area, better than a car in most cases, especially if you plan to do day trips to san francisco. Fruitvale is in downtown, and is host to latino culture. Chinatown is nearby, and, although not as expansive as the chinatown in sf, it's pretty cool.
There are a lot of parks to explore, too. Be sure to visit berkeley, it has a decent nightlife which can't be said for a lot of the bay (sf being the exception).
Let me Know if you have any q's, i'll be around
![illustration-depicting-brain-of-depressed-person[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/toc5r22.jpg "illustration-depicting-brain-of-depressed-person[1]")
So I'm a college student who didn't attend right out of high school. Soon I'll be 24, and before I turn 25 I should be done with my 2 year degree. My life has been a mess but I got serious and now things are on track. I'm actually going to school full time, and consistently (as opposed to taking a class here and there, which is the reason I'm still not even done with my a.s.) yet there's a different issue I'm dealing with lately.
A lot of my friends already graduated and moved out and started their careers. Not having done so is seriously detrimental to my self esteem. I hate that I live with my parents and I can't do anything about it. I realize that there are people who take until they're 30 to graduate from college, but I don't want to be one of those people. While I've finally developed a personality that takes school seriously, I just don't have the work ethic or the mental ability to go to class and move out and support myself with a full time job. It's really difficult to find something that would pay that much. I know some people can do it but I am more concerned with taking as many classes as possible and just finishing school.
My real issue is dealing with being an adult in a high school child's body. Like I said, its embarrassing to not have done anything with my life all the way up to this point. I can go out to a bar and try to meet women, but its pointless because I can't bring anyone home to my mom's house. It might be a slightly different story if I said I moved back in to pay off loans, but that isn't true.
tbc
Same-ish boat, here. I don't have any wise words, but can assure you you're not alone. Just graduated college and have been living in the same house since I was 4 years old. Everyone moved away. My town is a bunch of rich dipshits so everyone's in high school or a parent. No in between.
Don't feel bad about having "lagged behind" others, be proud of yourself that you're moving forward instead of just stagnating. And stop comparing yourself to others, even the best and brightest lag behind others. We all have our place, just set goals for yourself and keep moving forward towards them. Your goal should be making yourself happier not beating others.
>>17314094
I know your pain, OP.
In school, I was always the kid that, "Was incredibly intelligent, but never applied himself". I've had multiple legitimate IQ tests done, and I've always scored within the "gifted" range. But when I graduated, I never went to college.
I went directly into the work force, and started making money. Meanwhile, my friends were off at school, having fun, meeting girls our age, and meeting people that could connect them to long lasting careers.
Fast forward, I'm about to turn 26. I work as a custodian/maintenance man. I clean toilets and change light bulbs for a living. I spend all of my free time reading and writing.
My closest friends are biologists and physicists. One friend works at NASA, another is a geologist. My siblings are all successful, too. My brother runs an organization that helps athletes recover from injuries. My sister travels the world, teaching foreign students and scholars about US culture. Even my younger sister was accepted into a prestigious school, and is about to publish her first book on criminology.
Thanksgiving is awful. Being invited to dinner parties is awful. We can talk about literature and science, but if work comes up, I fade into the wallpaper.
I'd save up to go to school, but I wouldn't even know what to do once I had.
How do you, personally, justify drug consumption?
I'm 23, just graduated college, and for about 8 months now I think I've been getting depressed. This doesn't sound like a big deal but, for the most part, I've been a happy, "Let's fuckin' do it." guy. I always smile, and I make the best of everything.
However, now, everything I once enjoyed feels pointless, I feel like I don't have any "me" juice left, and I feel like I don't fit in everywhere I go. It almost feels like I have no friends, even though people always tell me, "You practically know EVERYONE!".
I had a shitty girlfriend in high school that I kept hooking up with over the last 5 years (we're back to being together, at this point), and, though at most points I feel like she makes me happy, I feel like this enormous pressure to tell her to hit the road, hit up other girls, and just do something different. (The hitting up other girls part feels like a societal pressure more than an internal want, more than anything.)
I never consumed drugs growing up. I hardly took pain killers. I didn't like the feeling of "What I'm feeling is artificial." As a result, I never drank or smoked, either. I got tired of not understanding this thing that fucking everyone does (drink alcohol) and didn't like that. (I'm a pretty empathetic person. I like to understand who you are, and why you are who you are. When I talk to you I'm engaged in the conversation. I just didn't like how, every time someone was drunk, I just can't understand.) So I got drunk for the first time a few weeks ago. It was okay, mostly dizzy the whole time, but, just as I thought, I didn't like taking a mind altering substance.
Here I am, now, and I just asked my mother if our insurance covers mental health, and told her I think I'm depressed. Rather than being shocked, she entirely understood. Apparently this kind of shit runs in the family. Like, a lot. And I was just kind of a one off.
OP Cont:
Here's the thing, though. I believe that my attitude can fix whatever shit I'm going through. A change in perspective. But they're gonna prescribe me shit. God knows fucking what. And, I'm here to ask, what about smoking weed? Literally all of my friends do it, so it won't be hard. But I want to ask what you people can remember when you first started. Was it a big deal? How do you justify regular, medicinal consumption of a drug? Or even recreational? I'm not looking for "hehe cuz it's fun". I'm looking for, "Every brain is different, and there are often times biochemical imbalances and various drugs fix that." etc. etc.
Here's the thing, though. I believe that my attitude can fix whatever shit I'm going through. A change in perspective. But they're gonna prescribe me shit. God knows fucking what. And, I'm here to ask, what about smoking weed? Literally all of my friends do it, so it won't be hard. But I want to ask what you people can remember when you first started. Was it a big deal? How do you justify regular, medicinal consumption of a drug? Or even recreational? I'm not looking for "hehe cuz it's fun". I'm looking for, "Every brain is different, and there are often times biochemical imbalances and various drugs fix that." etc. etc.
Double post holy shit I'm bad at this.
>>17314091
Not High - A
High - B
A:
Normal Self
B:
Increased concentration and reflectiveness into thoughts and experiences BUT unable to work properly.
I just want to join A with B without weed, I have fun with buddies but I don't smoke regularly.
Everything is misery, everything is passing with time, everything is temporary, everything goes to waste.
Sex is overrated and gets boring and trivial for those who get it, gf always keks at some point, bf is never satisfied with you, job sucks, friends are just people that get satisfaction for supporting someone more miserable than themselves. All social goals like being liked, accepted, successful, popular are empty promises programming you to spin the wageslave machine. They are designed to never grant you satisfaction, nor are worth the hassle for it yet if you reject them, there is nothing to hold on to.
Why should you even try? What makes it worth the effort? Do you have your answer /adv/?
>>17314078
life is what you make it, faggot
>>17314078
I shouldn't.
What other option do I have?
Does anything bad actually happen if you don't wash your underwear
I've got like 2 pairs. I'll usually wear one at work and the other the rest of the time. Is this bad?
>>17314067
Don't waste our time with stupid shit like this. Please kill yourself. Thank you.
Yeah it's not very clean. Stop living like a hobo and buy some fucking underpants.
You could get infections. You could develop a permanent stench down there. You could never get a gf/bf. You have work yes? Money yes? So lets stop being disgusting
what does this mean. "Im not actually looking for a relationshios as of yet. i mean it if happens, it happens but my heart has actually got to be in it and at the moment its not". i thought this was basically a girl ending a potential relationship with me, so i stopped dating her. have i fucked up?
>>17314020
bump
>>17314020
Sorry to say it mate, but when they say "I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment", what they actually mean is "I am looking for a relationship, just not with you".
>>17314020
She told you straight up that her heart wasn't in it. That obviously means that - her heart isn't in it. So no you didn't fuck up, she just wasn't into you like that.
