Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 231. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 231. page
how often do people in relationships think about leaving their SO and pursuing someone they met recently?
i met a very attractive girl at my internship today. she's rather intelligent (ivy league UG, med school, kind of intimidating tbhfam), petite, respectful, and overall like a decent person. since today was her first day she was required to follow the more experienced interns around and observe. there were roughly seven of us in today and the director explained that she is meant to follow any intern on any call to get acclimated. she followed me on every single call that i had and it seemed we both enjoyed conversing with one another. i noticed that she would purposely avoid going on calls with others and jump at the opportunity to follow me. it was very cute and i certainly didn't mind the company.
however, i'm in a relationship currently and have been for 1.5 years. i think my gf is attractive but she has some things to work on. there are certain things about her work ethic and willpower that cause a lot of frustration. sex life is dysfunctional. she's sweet but can be quite difficult to handle from time to time when she's stressed over things i would consider petty.
i understand i know effectively nothing about this new girl but that feeling of wanting to take a risk instead of staying in a relationship that may be a big source of frustration for me seems almost worth it? i do care about my SO though. my current relationship is my longest, most serious, and essentially my first real romantic relationship. i've found myself thinking a lot about this new girl though.
>>17315321
The new girl could be shy, chose you on a call and didn't want to really mess with anyone else. I wouldn't read into it much more than her initially viewing you as someone she felt she could trust.
But hey, you could be onto something, but should you pursue it? Don't put yourself in a "position of power" and start making moves on anyone, if it occurs naturally, so be it; but it's not risking your hard work for at this stage (if ever).
>>17315340
isn't that a pretty big deal? gaining the trust of an individual upon first meeting them? i don't think it was trust necessarily, all the interns are very nice people and seem genuine. her shadowing me on every call that she was able to just felt very purposeful. i know i would do the same if i was remotely interested in someone or just someone i liked.
i don't understand this "position of power" thing. you're saying don't make a move ever? i feel like being proactive when it comes to pursuing a person you're interested in is very important.
the conundrum is whether or not it's worth risking for a chance at something better. i don't necessarily mind being single. this new girl seems real nice. i care about my SO a lot.
i'm not sure.
>>17315321
As of recently, Ive been thinking of leaving my wife of 9 years. Shes got some serious mental problems. Ive been helping her deal with it but I can only take so much more. Plus Ive met someone who I have completely fallen for, and I really think shes into me aswell. so yeah, I think about leaving quite a bit. you're not alone
>18
>6'3"
>210 lbs
>Girls usually rate me between a 7 and a 9
>Athletic
>Used to be socially awkward/anxious until a year or so ago
>A lot of girls recently became interested in me, and always try to talk to me
My girlfriend
>5'8"
>170 lbs
>17
>Social butterfly, really popular at a nearby school
>Plays tennis and soccer, so somewhat athletic
>A lot of guys are interested in her as well
People have told me to my face that they think I can do better (especially girls that try to hook up with me and guys that I know), but I choose to remain faithful to her because I love her. However, telling other girls this shit to their face and turning them down doesn't stop them from trying to talk to me, add me on snapchat, and spam likes on my pictures on instagram.
The problem is that people fuck with us so much that it really strains our relationship. I've turned down quite a few other girls because I was with her, and she's starting to be alienated by a lot of her "friends." A lot of girls at her school (and mine) have started to talk a lot of shit on her. Coupled with the fact that she has mild family issues, she's constantly under a lot of stress. She is extremely afraid to lose me, and the fact that people try to talk to me a lot does nothing but increase her level of anxiety.
On her end, guys always try to hit her up because they want to hook up with her. They know that she's dating me, but none of them seem to give a fuck. She always turns them down, but it still worries me because I know that if anything went awry in our relationship, then it wouldn't be too hard for her to cheat on me. I don't even know if this fear is realistic, but that doesn't stop it from scaring me.
We're both afraid to lose each other, and a lot of other people seem to be going out of their way to sabotage our relationship. Is there any hope for us to stay together or are we fucked?
A woman at 5'8" and 170lbs is very much most likely not athletic. Since you describe her with her that word, I suspect you are not athletic, either
>>17315284
Athletic might be the wrong word, but she does well in both of the sports that she plays. She's the first seat at her school for tennis, and starts every game that she plays in soccer.
I play varsity lacrosse as a midfielder, and used to be a center when I played basketball.
>This didn't answer my question at all
>>17315284
this,
the people that are rating you are only telling you what they think because they have something nice to say. Doubtful that your gf's bodyweight is muscle and not fat
I'm at a rave thing
How do I approach a girl
Please help me adv
isn't there really loud music and it's impossible to have a conversation?
pretty sure people just party at raves without really talking
maybe you can talk to people once everything's packing up and go like hey did you enjoy yourself
Do the thing where you point at peoples chests and when they look down you flick their nose. Then put your finger to your mouth and go 'shhhhh'
Use your legs (or walk over on your hands to seal the deal)
>She's 8/10 hot
>She wants me bad
>Problem is she's a single mother of 1
>Mfw I don't want to be a cuck
>Mfw she's so cute
>Mfw It's getting hard to keep turning down her advances
Help me bros.
>>17315117
>Problem is she's a single mother of 1
>Mfw I don't want to be a cuck
>>17315117
Run.
Run away and don't look back.
There are lots of cute girls out there - cute girls that don't have fucking children. Don't you dare get stuck with one.
my dad married my mom when she had two girls. it turned out well, no cucking involved. Go for it?
How to succeed as a burglar?
ruble ruble
>>17315028
What do Russians have to do with this discussion?
>>17315021
get drunk, before doing it.
I work for the school district, therefore I don't make any money over the summer. I simply want to make some extra cash and am kind of just bored since I also don't start college again for a few months (quarter system).
Does anyone have any advice, tips, or info for making under the table cash this summer? I'm happy with my job and hours when school starts, so I don't want to bother with interviewing, getting on payroll, etc, for a job that I'd fully plan on quitting in two months.
Any ideas? Thanks!
>>17314855
Also, if it helps, my region is Southern California.
Sell plasma or sperm
>>17314855
Escorting pays well and you get to spend time with handsome men/women.
I find so many things interesting but I can only read about so many things and even then.. I get depressed because I can't really do anything with the information I find out.
For example, I just watched all the mad max movies recently. I love that series. So I started reading about car engines, petrol as a chemical, etc.
I found it very interesting.. okay good, now what? I can't really apply this knowledge and do anything with it.
Basically, I hate gaining knowledge and not being able to use it. How do I develop the knowledge I pursue into active hobbies?
Just the other day I read about metallurgy but I will never be able to do it. Read about peat bogs and furnaces and shit. Interesting stuff but in reality.. what the fuck am I going to do with knowledge about peat bogs and furnaces?
>>17314844
Worldbuilding is a great hobby with a lot of different aspects. It's a great motivator for researching and learning about stuff, be it political, cultural, learning about climates, too many things to list really, but all the stuff you research directly transfers to building a more interesting and believable world.
>>17315873
What do you mean by world building? >>17315873
>>17315887
You basically brainstorm and create your own fantasy world and fill it with cultures and civilizations that you've created, drawing inspiration from real world history. You can draw maps, draw characters from your world, do some kind of creative writing, like poetry from your in-world characters, or just do some descriptive writing about some element of your world, it can be anything. And the best part is that since there are so many different aspects to the hobby, you can hop around to another aspect when you get bored. And, like I said, it involves a whole lot of research. You could, for example, research and learn about some way a real world civilization organized their government, put some creative spin on it, then write a description of it.
I got a job offer that pays 22% more than I currently make. the downside is it's in a city 1500 miles away that I dont really have a desire to live in. and I would have to be long distance with my gf for 1 year before she can move with me. should I do it? what would you consider? cost of living is the same basically. and the job would be at least as interesting as my current job, maybe more, and they will pay for me to relocate.
What is 22% and do you live your girlfriend?
>>17314617
about $16k. no we live separate. dating 3 years.
Honestly man... it depends on how happy you are where you are.
As the other Anon said though what's 22%? Your pay increase may be a % but everything in life costs dollars in absolute amounts.
>When did you start?
>When did you quit?
>How many tries?
>Cold turkey?
>Any insight and tips for others?
>>17314589
>Why do people even start?
>>17314601
Because we were dumb impressionable kids, can't change the past.
>>17314589
>16
>23
>2
>negative
>e cigs
How do I get her off my mind?
It's been 2 weeks.
When i'm fapping I self insert her into the porn star or daydream to when we used to fuck.
When I sleep/nap it's of her and it's about how we are getting back together, slowly talking and flirting but then I wake up and feel like shit.
When i'm doing something interesting I imagine we are on the phone together and describing what i'm doing. Even worse when it was my birthday yesterday/today, depending on where you live (July 1st), I was wishing she would call me, but i'm pretty much dead to her. Saddest birthday yet.
I wonder if shes talking to other dudes and almost feel sick at the thought.
I constantly have the shoulda coulda woulda attitude (e.g. if only I had/hadn't done x, y or z and maybe we would still be together)
but she's gone.
I've joined a gym and my first proper workout will be tomorrow, but I can't help but think i'm only going to get ripped so she is impressed and wants to get back with me the next time she sees me.
>>17314451
If only you knew anon. You are on the exact road you need to be.
You're going to be making gains for her for the first while.
But the more gains you see, and the more attention you get from others, and the more confidence you get, the less you'll think of her.
Again, you'll likely not forget her, and you'll think of her with fondness and the great times you had, but it wont sink your chest. You wont cry, you wont even wish it were different.
>>17314483
just takes time, so much time you don't notice it. Untill you realize WAY down the road that you don't even miss her.
>>17314483
>>17314486
this is good to hear.
time and self-improvement are always things I see when getting looking for advice for getting over a break up.
she was my first so oneitis is definitely a factor too.
I've had a pretty long dry spell, and when I get that I want to experiment. I know I'm really just horny as shit but responding to craigslists adds make me hard af. After I'm done fapping I feel like fucking shit for doing this because I know it's only the thrill. Anyways I could potentially go through with one add today, all I need to do is say yes. Should I do it? will completing one put an end to this horrible habit? I'm horny enough right now.
kik
What?
I don't really get what you are trying to say. If you want to fap just do it. There is nothing wrong with that. Just clean yourself afterwards.
>>17314515
meeting up people from craigslist.
I'm tired of being a fucking waste of oxygen. I wanna be a better man, fun to men and attractive to women. How do i do it /adv/? I spend most of my time home playing videogames and watching anime.
Stop spending most your time at home watching anime and playing video games
>>17314240
What should i do instead? How do i deal with being afraid of approaching other people?
>>17314247
By being fun, be filled with energy, but not like autistic jim carrey jumping on couches energy.
Just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. She caught me cheating a few days ago and we tried to fix it. I couldn't stand the pain I put her through so I called the whole thing off. The relationship was rocky the last 3 or 4 months and I always thought it was because she was just too clingy and I felt suffocated, but looking back it was me that was distancing myself. I was treating her like shit. I was looking for a hotter person in all honesty. I'm seeing the girl I cheated on her with now but can't help but feeling like shit going through our pictures. We were so happy and I ruined it. That Bruno Mars song comes to mind "When I was her man" or something like that. In a way I hope she finds someone that will put in the effort to make her as happy like she did to me. At the same time however, I hope we can rekindle what we had under better circumstances. I'm 21 and she's 20 so I guess we have a while to see if somehow we can cross paths again. I've never wanted to stay friends with ex's before but this time I do. If she gets a flat or is moving or something I still would want to help. Well that's vent don't really know where I'm going with this but share your experiences bros. Or offer encouragement/advice?
>>17314176
Live with the hurt, let it electrify your core. then when sink into the sheets at night pretend you are petrified. fade into black.
>>17314176
Instead of cheating on her, you should have broken up with her and gone after whoever. Cheating on someone fucks them up, especially women. This is because women are feels based.
So now she's going to become bitter/jaded and take it out on the next couple of guys who will want to stick it in her. When guys come on here saying shit like "Why do women just ghost guys?!" "Why are women cunts??" "Why are women so cruel?!?!?" Know that you had a hand in creating that.
Learn from your mistakes. Break up with the basic bitch who accepted being with a taken man. A woman who accepts being with a taken man when there are plenty of single ones is a woman with lower value than other women. One of you will end up cheating on the other anyways, no doubt.
Admit that you were wrong, reassure her that she is an amazing person and deserves much better, and never contact her again so that she can find someone better.
She seems pretty hot, you saying you upgraded?
Does anyone else in a LTR miss dating and one night stands?
It's not that I am dissatisfied with my current gf, it's just that a kind of yearn the days when I would hook up with a stranger, or date and have sex with a completely new girl.
Lord of The Rings? Hobbits and Elves?
I am confused.
>>17314608
The acronym for Lord of the Rings is lots, bro
2/10 you tried your best
>>17314608
long term relationship
My gf eats way too much and uses it to comfort herself. She used to have an eating disorder so I feel like a dick whenever I make a subtle comment to try to get her to eat less. It's like there's two extremes for her, but neither is healthy. It's either way too much or no food at all. How can I help?
Try to address with her the issue(s) that are causing her to lean on food as a comfort. See if you can help switch it up to something a bit healthier (anything from knitting to weight lifting) if the issue itself can't easily be solved.
Personally, I would approach this very delicately. Don't be an asshole, and don't frame this like you're concerned about her appearance.
Let her know that you've noticed how she's been eating, and tell her that it worries you because you've heard about comfort foods or stress eating and you want to know if something else is bothering her. Try and have a conversation based on that instead of just saying "you eat too much!"
>>17312223
Don't get her to eat less, get her to eat healthier. She didn't need to worry about starving herself if she's eating veggies and chicken.
Go to /fit/ for more advice
