Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2256. page
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Ok, so I need advice on how to break up with my "girlfriend". Actually she's a lot older than me. But the age difference is not the problem but she is just so needy and it's really suffocating me and giving me depression. I just want to be free.
The problem is it's really going to crush her, and I don't know what she would do without me but I can't take it anymore.
Any advice?
Obviously u mentioned she has a personal space issue.
Talk to her about that....
We cant really be seeing each other in every minute to death..
>>16437567
But I don't want to solve the problems anymore, I just want to be free.
>>16437561
Man i wish i had a needy gf suffocating me with her boobies
Should I try to patch things up?
>know girl since we were both little kids
>girl was regularly molested for years by stepdad
>my mom was a drug dealer
>both me and girl forced to move into foster care away from eachother
>rediscover girl several years later over FB
>lots of chemistry despite each of us having SO's
>we sext back and forth a handful of times
>sexual compatibility through the roof
>we cool it because my gf doesn't like it and she gets back together with her man
>still friends but we gradually grow distant
>be there for her when she needs someone on her side through her bullshit
>start feeling like she's snubbing me despite her not doing it intentionally
>unfriend her after I reach breaking point
>she asks why
>call her out on her bullshit because I'm hurt and angry and actually love her but tell her I can't stand being hurt anymore
>she says she's hurt and angry but she understands
>been a few weeks since
>feel like total shit about doing it
>still feel hurt and slightly angry at her as well
>know she's going through a shitload of problems right now
TL;DR I love and care about this girl and I want to be there for her if I can't be with her, but I still feel hurt and angry. I know she didn't ignore me out of malice, but she's pretty flakey and I know she was affected by being molested when she was young.
Do I embrace forgiveness and try to be there for her again and risk being hurt again, or do I close my heart and risk regretting this forever?
>>16437544
No , continue with your life dont be a beta orbiter of the crazy.
>obvious troll thread on /adv/
>350+ replies, 275 images omitted
>real thread about complex emotions and real problems
>not one reply
Figures
It's never too late for forgiveness anon.
Even though I'm 21, Everyone, from friends to family to colleagues, refer to me as "old man" or "grandpa anon". It's not malicious to my knowledge, but Multiple groups of people with no contact have all decided my behaviour warrants comparison to a fucking octogenarian. What behavioural traits would lead to this in a dude as young as me, and how do I turn it around?
>>16437461
Kill yourself. Isn't that what old guys do eventually?
You might have some old fashioned mannerisms or speech. It's nothing to be ashamed of, some people find it endearing. Or maybe they think you're a bit prudish. Which also isn't really a bad thing. At 21, I think it's much more useful to avoid being considered immature than too mature.
>>16437461
You might be boring or overly responsible, so at 21 they're calling you an old man.
Same song, different dance. Another woman comes into my life and makes me think she can be my cinnamon girl, but she's just toying with me. She reads my darkness and pain with one look, she sees the loneliness in my eyes and decides to add to it.
This is what she looks like this time. Should I play through this same song and dance?
>>16437408
>same song and dance?
you're the drama queen yes?
>>16437415
no, I just have a lot of baggage and angst, I cant help it
I just wish women would leave me alone, there's nothing in me but pain and the only thing they can do is give me false hope
For those in relationships, what words, phrases, or tones trigger instant fights with your loved one?
For me when I was in a relationship, I noticed "Are you fucking kidding me" will trigger something fierce with the person I was with.
One word syllable responses.
"Okay."
"Whatever"
will throw me into instant fight mode. All within context of course.
>>16437393
>triggers
>instant fights
Neither of those are healthy or indicative of a good relationship. I've never fought with my partner.
I've noticed my partner has some triggers that get them really angry but I'm pretty sure that stuff would piss them off coming from anyone and not just me, only with me we're open enough that we can communicate about it and they don't have to hide that it's pissing them off so much. And the same goes for me, pretty much, though I don't like to think about mine. But we never use these things even when we disagree about something and are arguing because we don't like hurting eachother's feelings and pushing buttons like that is a low blow. Also it's not any way to win a serious argument. If these things ever come up it's almost always by accident and then we have to apologize shortly after.
My partner doesn't like being called "idiot" and generally being treated as incompetent.
being cavalier or flippant about safety usually trips her, but aside from that, we were best friends for four years prior to our relationship so we typically have a hard time truly upsetting one another
I'm a kissless virgin and I become a wizard in a years time. I really need to lose my virginity. What is the most legal way I can pay for sex?
>>16437375
It depends on where you live
>>16437378
WA, USA.
>>16437380
Take a trip on down to Nevada (but not Clark County).
Why do people never want to talk about anything interesting? Most people's conversations revolve around talking shit about people, gossip, etc. and shut down when I try to talk about anything else. How do I find people who aren't so boring and egotistical?
I can't remember the last time I was in a social setting in conversation and thinking "boy, this shit is even more intensely trivial, frivolous, meaningless, trite, shallow, etc than usualy conversation!"
Every one of my close friends is intelligent and enjoys learning. Having some drinks and talking geopolitics isn't at all uncommon. Theology and economics, either.
But even when I go to house parties with my homies, I don't end up viewing the conversation as asinine drivel. It isn't that everyone there is talking about exactly what I'd love to talk about- conspiracy, ideals, imagination, etc. But these people have shit THEY are excited about just the same as I am! It really does take effort to be interested in a decent scope of things- it is a good skill.
If I can suggest something; maybe you're not easily interested enough? You can find humor or beauty in nearly anything.
I concede it is entirely possible that you're an objectively interesting and intelligent individual unfortunately brought up in an anti-intellectual wasteland.
But shit man, I live in fucking Georgia. We're not exactly known for...well, literacy for one.
I just ask people about themselves. EVERYBODY loves to talk about whatever bullshit about their lives.
You learn so much about them and they learn almost nothing about you. Knowledge is power padawan.
>>16437405
Not OP, and not to be an ass, but...
>Geopolitics is boring AF for my taste, and more oft than not leads to a fight, however small
>Theology...It's a wonder I'm still alive today
>I don't understand economics at all, only that coins are shinier than bills and thus prettier
The few interesting talks I have with my few interesting friends are usually about things like whether avant garde is good or bad, or wether we should finish GoT or just think everyone lived happily ever after. I guess more 'artsy' stuff.
Don't want to put down your own preferences, just felt like sharing something of my own
I have had an ongoing problem with younger brother (he's 12) and he's gradually getting worse at school and at home.
>recently started making excuses to get out of school
>only goes about 2-3 days a week
>he was pretty bad about doing his homework last year
>went like a month without doing any homework
>he's better about it but only if me or my mom checks
>parents don't give a shit
>I'm too busy with work but still go out of my way to make sure he's doing ok in school
>when he's at home he constantly argues with my mom
>still acts like he's a little kid
>Constantly lies to everyone and steals things from all of us
What can I do? I've talked with my parents about this but they haven't really done anything. I'm trying but I don't know what to do. I thought he'd get better and chill out once he was in middle school but he hasn't.
I don't really know shit about kids, but maybe you could try to talk with his school's counselor and see if you can hook him up with some kind of program to straighten him out. If your parents cared or if you had the money I'd say send his ass to boarding school.
>>16437311
If your parents don't care enough to do something, there's really not much you can do. All I'll say is, he knows better. He just doesn't give a shit because he gets what he wants. He may be acting out due to stress, bullying, etc. or he may have some sort of personality disorder in the works. I certainly didn't behave like that when I was that age without good reason.
i am not sure how you are going to solve this but the way i see it is that something happened to him in school. either bad company or some serious bullying.
i don't know anything about him but i think that he is spoiled a lot and from what i have seen so far when you spoil someone a lot he will start going astray. especially if he doesn't get punished his mistakes. which is the case in your brother
first of all, try to learn about your brother. From what you said he is not willing to talk and your parents don't care. but there are ways to know about him. try asking the teachers of his school about him. if you knew someone who used to spend time with him try to contact him since they will be more reliable than his friend and most likely will not cover for him.
2nd,after you discovered something. try talking to him and get more details, since your brother will most likely to lie you need to try indirect approach.How will you do that? I don't know but i will tell you a story of mine that might help you
one time i had a fight with my someone who i used to call friend lets call him X. Basically i didn't tell anyone about it. but my father noticed that there is something wrong between me and X . so one day out of the blue he told me that X and his father are outside of my house. maybe i don't know X so much but i know that his father doesn't care about him enough to go and solve a problem between him and his friend. Still i didn't think that my father will make such a lie. so i told him that i fought with X and had a talk with him. YES he was lying and there wasn't anyone outside.
you might get of how to get the info from him. probably some threatening him using the little info you know will do the trick
3rd, solving the problem and talking to him (depends on the problem)
i know its different but i was brought up in an environment which kids respect the adults. and if a child doesn't respect his parents the parents can hit him and by law its legal.
Do girls ever really turn down getting eaten out?
If a somewhat slutty girl is showing interest in me and I just say "Look to be honest I'm really only here cause I wanted to eat you out" or some shit like that what's the likelihood they'll flip out?
>Do girls ever really turn down getting eaten out?
Ever? Yes.
Unfortunately girls (and a good amount of men) really don't go for the ultra direct approach of walking up to a stranger and proposing a sexual encounter. You have to at least go through some of the motions and pretend to want to talk to them and shit. The only people that would actually use or go for that direct approach are probably unclean or scumbags.
Remember to have a dental dam.
You're going to cockblock yourself like that. Really you are. If you want to have sex or do sexy things with a girl you're going to need to set the tone. That means flirting with her and eventually heading somewhere private. If you go in with your plan you're going to spoil the mood completely. Being too forward is a bad thing.
I am a 20 year old male
and recently I've found myself interested in girls who are about 6 -10 years older than me.
is this a bad thing? how would one go about dating someone who is 26 or 30, while I'm 20, I know 6 years is quite some time, after all you could be in completely different stages of life and all.
any tips, advice warnings, stories?
>>16437283
Is not bad at all. Don't treat it any differently. She's just a girl who wants to have a good time with a boy. That is it. Dont over complicate shit, treat her the same as any girl
tell me a bit about yourself?
height, body type, basic personality type, in college or working?
all these help as you have to cater your approach to women and what type of women you are aiming for.
if you basically look like a teen boy, you got for 'motherly' women who will dote on you like a kid but still sleep with you.
if you are a big successful muscle guy, then you might as well be 26 and its nbd.
i was a qt little boy so its easier for me to attract older women who DONT have children cuz you fill that needi n them, but i was also mature enough that our interests (basically just chilling while watching TV, really relaxed after work type stuff) lined up (as opposed to trying to drag a milf to a crazy club)
>>16437290
5 foot 11 inches.
chubby
I'm a bit of a sperg when I'm nervous and when I meet new people, but If I know you, I'll act fine, the better I know a person the more comfortable I am with being around said person.
I am in college, technically not working, interning for a job.
I don't look like a qt teen, I guess a good comparison is Judah Friedlander, or seth rogan
complete with glasses and such.
Note: I am referring to countries where you have to do Law/Medicine/almost everything as an undergraduate
Yeah, most people (maybe 90%) want to become lawyers, doctors, etc, but then you have that minority which goes major in something such as Biology, Music, Mathematics, etc. Why pick these majors?
Yeah, I understand that being a doctors/lawyer can be stressful, but there are other majors which lead to an easy, well-paid job such as Dentistry, Actuarial Science, Economics, Accounting, etc. Why not pick those majors? And some of these fields are not saturated yet.
Every jobs sucks in their own way. In some way, doing research in the field of math is more stressful than being an actuary. For a start, your funding will be cut if you have nothing published and then your have no income. The PhD market is saturated and it is very unlikely that a Math PhD can find a stable, permanent job one day.
And really, all jobs become monotonous over time. Practising playing the same instrument every day becomes dull over time. The Music field is saturated as heck. And what can a Music major do if he can't find a decent job after university? Teach little kids an instrument? Even that is not as easy as it seems - little kids tend to misbehave and muck around and some are not even bothered to practise playing any instruments.
>>16437267
I know, little babbies fresh outta HS don't know shit and their counselors don't help them at all and tell them to go STEM or do "what their heart desires (ends up as arts/humanities 90% of the time)" and they end up missing a bunch of great careers without too much work.
Wish I knew that when I was in school, then maybe I would've done something I could handle instead of trying engineering, getting stressed and drinking till I dropped out.
Oh well, I'm doing alright with my 2 year IT degree now. $23\hr isn't so bad at all.
We live in a society that is relatively post-scarcity, at least in the West. Pursuits like studying Humanities in an academic setting used to be strictly the purview of the wealthy. Dishonest advertising, willful blindness and relative ease of acquiring wealth have made the pursuit of non-renumerative skills and studies more accessible.
The plain fact is that most trades and pursuits don't require university education- in that vein, education becomes a participation trophy. However, the market is slow to respond to that- there's a very valid reason why there are more college graduates, percentage-wise, working at Starbucks as compared to Boeing or NASA.
Most kids don't think about pragmatic issues when choosing a degree field. Infantilized adults are the fault of the parents, for the most part. Their parents rightly don't want the kids to struggle through the same issues the parents did. but for some reason, don't make the connection between their children's shitty career choices and the relatively protected life of ease that they made for their kids.
>>16437267
>Why doesn't everyone think just like me?
Gee, it's almost as if people have different priorities in life and are willing to sacrifice a comfortable living and risk failure to pursue something that makes them fulfilled with their life. I'm sorry, but this is the fundamental error that everyone makes, and can never seem to get over: you assume everyone else shares your values, and when others make different decisions on what to do with their lives, it's attributed to their "lack of intellect" or "lack of thinking things through." Yes, there are people who don't think through their decisions, but you'd be surprised how many people within these risky fields actually know more about it than you do, yet still accept the risks and challenges of entering it.
So, my girlfriend had an itch in her vagina, and she was scratching her vag way too hard, I got a little freaked out because of that and forced her to visit a gynecologist, and she took a pap test and the result was she had HPV and she has to take another test to see if there's anything wrong with her uterus or matrix, my question is, it's most likely sure I've got that thing already since we've been having sex without protection, but I'd like to know what measures should I take and if there's a way to help her get through this, I know the virus won't ever leave her, but are there any risks about it? I also hurt her when we're having sex, the gynecologist said I suck at it and she doesn't lubs well because I'm bad at keeping her turned on :( she's the third girl I've ever been with and I only had sex 5 times before her, also the reason the gynecologist told her that I suck and the other man she was with also did suck it's because she can't achieve orgasms by vaginal sex, oral, nipple play or fingering works tho, but not sex, any info is well appreciated as well as sources of information, love you all people, have a great life!
pic related, papilloma virus ._.
The majority of women can't achieve orgasm by vaginal intercourse alone. As you proceed through life and defile other women, you'll see that, so don't blame yourself, at least not entirely.
HPV is one of those things you really don't want. You need to get tested. If you test positive, you may not suffer any ill effects- it's funny like that, but you may have issues, too. I have a friend that has to have his dick warts burnt off every year or so, which is funny, sort of, if it ain't you, but apparently makes his dong look like a hot dog left in the warming rack too long.
You don't want that OP, get tested.
>>16437211
There is no male HPV test
OP your girlfriend has to have her strain tested to see if it's one of the strains that causes cervical cancer. That's probably what they are going to do.
>>16437221
Which measures do you believe should I take, like, wearing a condom or something, because she's pretty embarrased about this, and I feel kinda bad for her, and for us.
>>16437211
Thanks for the "not blaming myself" I'm trying to learn, and I want to keep some good communication with her tho.
I'm about to lose my virginity and I can't get hard, what do I do?
Gif unrelated
>>16437133
Suck your boyfriends dick some. Maybe that'll get you hard?
>>16437133
stop, take a deep breath, and do something you find erotic to her. for instance, play with her boobs, or eat her out, whatever turns you on. its all about stimulation. i personally enjoy eating out, so if i think i need to get hard, i rub myself while eating her out.
sometimes you need to be fluffed, like let a girl suck you off til hard. just dont focus on getting hard, focus on something sexy.
>>16437148
Thanks anon. I'm going yo take your advice and hope it works.
I notice with certain friends, whether they're a roommate or someone I chill with on a regular basis we eventually get on each others nerves quicker than other ones. But whenever I take a break from their presence the tension dies down. I'm not sure if this is coming across clearly, but does anyone else notice themselves? What would you call these type of friends?
>>16437125
im not sure if they have a word for it, but its sort of the inverse of 'best friends'.
this isn't horribly unusual. personalities mesh differently. some people EVERYONE loves to be around. some people NO ONE likes to be around.
most people are somewhere in the middle, and there is a cut off point. ideally whoever you live with, romantically or platonically, should be someone you can stand to be around all the time.
but yeah, not sure about the name. i certainly have that. i have one friend i think i could spend a weekend with, but most of the time i want to zone out by myself to collect myself. introvert in that sense.
>>16437136
Yeah, I definitely should of taken that into consideration with my roommates this year round. It reminds me of siblings, and I almost feel like I could just jump at them like when I was a little kid with my family.
>>16437152
To add on, sometimes I see one of them like how my older brother used to pester me all the time, except we're in the same grade. It's strange seeing that 2-3 year age difference having less relevance as you get older.
My girlfriend told me she slept with 46 men before me. I broke up with her after.
Am I a bad person?`
>>16437082
no
das groce
never forget, each dick she takes means any individual dick mesmerises her less
>>16437082
Now you're number 47. Yay!
Was she good in bed?
Seriously,if she'd turned a new leaf and was going to be a good trustworthy and loving person they you're an idiot.
But if she's a vapid party animal then you're better off without her.
