Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2264. page
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I have never understood this... Why do we give women so much power when dating? I am a 24 year old male with no car and women don't even look at my other qualities. The minute they find out you don't have car, they are done and friend zone you.
Its happened countless times to me. I speak to a woman, ask her out and say "Sure, I will catch the bus to that place near your house."
Then the time of the date comes around and she says "Sorry, I have to cancel."
Its happened multiple times in different ways. Why are women SO picky? I mean, these are really average girls too. Not like 10/10's.
Women.. please enlighten me? Why does not being a fat pig give you the right to judge me simply because I have no car?
Literally all women have to do is not be fat. THATS IT. Do you know how easy it is to not be fat? You just don't eat like a slob. THATS IT...
Women really don't know how good they got it. You can literally just wait for guys to come up to you. FOR FREE. Guys have to like, plan and plot how they are going to approach you because one wrong approach means they are creepy apparently. Fuck you.
I probably wouldn't even be friends with you if I had to drive you around like we're still in highschool. I understand you don't need one if you have good public transport or live in a super small town, but most people will think less of you and think you're lazy. You're also missing out on road trips and that's something you'd never get to do with your girl.
>>15312628
>why are they so picky
m8 you don't have a car there are guys that have everything you have and a car too
>>15312628
because not having a car significantly limits your ability to do things. You can't go get food whenever you want to, you can't go to places without planning it advance. Women are picky as fuck man, but not having a car, unless you're EU sucks pretty bad.
You guys are gonna get a kick outta this one
>be 20
>meet 18 yr old at work
>cute
>help her register for classes n shit
>cool.jpg
>invite her to pizza
>shes cool
>she likes MGS3
>cupidarrow.jpg
>invite her to my house
>we talk alot
>tell each other secrets
>connect deeply
>instantly become in a relatinship
>we have no experience in being bf/gf
>she helps me with homework, morale support, etc. more than what my mom ever did
>I just kiss her and say im sorry idk how to make it up to you
>its fine you dont have to (I learned that this was BULLSHIT far too late)
1 week later
>I break up with her
>I deemed myself unworthy of being her boyfriend
>she can find someone better
>she doesn't understand
>she's hurt
>I regret my decision
>she needs time apart
1 month later
>I text her
>no reply
>try each day for 3 days
>she replies "meet me at the staircase"
>"your not being honest. fuck off"
>send her one final text "i dont know what I did, but im sorry. I appreciate everything you did for me. I'll miss you. Sincerely"
I thought that if I threw away my only source of happiness, I would be able to find something else and not abuse her kindness that she offers everyday. Since this semester started, she's transformed into a total bitch and won't tell me what I did wrong. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like killing myself. I just don't have the balls.
/adv/, how do I move on from this situation? I know I fucked up, and now I'm feeling the pain she felt last year, but I seriously didn't want any bad blood between us. Every time I see her, she goes from happily talking to her friends to complete sadness/browsing through her phone. Now I'm forced to work with her and attend a 3 hour class with her every Friday.
So far, I've only come up with one potential solution: FUCKING BITCH SHE WON'T TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG WE SHARED EVERYTHING BETWEEN US
There's also the possibility that she just wants to put me through what I put her through, but I doubt it.
Help pls. I know I'm pathetic.
I literally can't even comprehend how you can type that whole post out and not realize how fucking stupid you are
>>15313265
>she likes MGS3
No one likes that game, though.
>cool.jpg
stopped reading
What's the point of improving looks if you are not able to reach ideal?
nothing in life is all or nothing.
>>15310426
"ideal" is not one but in most cases some people achieve it. In wanting to be rich, there is a level when you are 1% and therefore objectively rich. Same with looks
>>15310423
you do it to keep your self-confidence from stagnating, you need to just improve yourself so that you can leave the house and interact with people confidently. as you get older, you'll realize that perfection is all a fraud, the guys do too. so don't worry about it.
I need advice. I already asked my friends to chat with me about it and I'm going to see a psychologist, but I migh ask here as well. I need to deal with this problem, one way or another, as fast as possible, because it's killing me.
A lot of time in my life I spent inside my own head. It is sort of like sleepwalking, but instead of dreaming, I imagine talking with people. Like I am repeating in my head what I want to say to someone and I imagine their response. I do this all the time, especially during stressful situations.
I feel like I'm getting in the zone just by thinking too much.
When I'm not doing that, I am extremely conscious about everything I do. When I talk to other people I do it with a purpose in mind. It rarely comes naturally, like other people do. I don't ever small talk unless I consciously chose to.
I know I am not a psychopath, because I am not fearless and I can feel emotions. Suprisingly I have a lot of empathy and I know I NEED other people. But this needines combined with my isolation makes people less likely to approach me, isolating me even more - a circle.
How do I get out of my head and fucking live in the world around me?
How do I stop being conscious when I stop daydreaming? How do I live the moment?
How do I connect with other people? How do I get out of the circle of isolation?
Therapy. Also you are not a special snowflake that has some mental issues that make you special, or whatever. You have just fooled yourself into this way of being, whether as an excuse to not deal with others or to mask your rejection because you probably are a legit nice guy.
Therapy.
Narcissism.
You obsess over how to behave in a situation and that nothing feels real because you're living under an assumed identity.
>>15299211
>an excuse to not deal with others
May be this was the case back then, but now I need and desperately want to deal with others.
I'm not gonna shit talk this one, so here goes.
>suffer from depression for 1-2 years
>no therapist because of reasons too complicated to discuss
>self-harm, suicidal
>meet guy around May 2014, he eventually becomes the reason for getting up in the morning
>tells me top-tier screwy bullshit about how special I am and how much he likes/cares for me
>share problems, I give him advice when no one else does (or so he'd say)
>eventually spend 2 hours making out
>"this is it guys, I'm no longer a social zero/waste of oxygen, suck my dick an hero"
>genuine happiness for the first time in years
>shortly after, find out that he's done things with a qt female friend of his, who formerly became jealous of us spending time together
>mfw they start dating
>gives several inconsistent messages about not wanting to date me because of x,y and z
>mfw he writes off everything we ever did
>several seenzones on FB
>shitstorm of posts and photo albums of them together, immature as fuck
>tells me reasons for being in a relationship with her, generic shallow "she inflates my ego" garbage
>depression back like a storm
>been on 3-4 hours of sleep for the past four months, overeating
>random urges to cry like a bitch
More details can be provided. Long story short, I'm majorly depressed and I love a guy with the emotional maturity of an eggplant.
All cynical and hurtful comments are very much welcome here.
>>15292186
Goddamn, looks like somebody cloned my ex. Odd. She has been depressed for 2 years too, and got pretty much attached to me soon. Anyway i am a male and i can relate with you until the "genuine happiness" line so i can tell you (probably) what happened to the other side of the barricade. You are not going to like it though. Interested?
>>15292186
why don't you do what most women do?
go to gym, work on your ass, become a slut, fuck people and feel powerful because of vaginal manipulation?
>>15292186
>several seenzones on FB
Uhh, what the hell is a seenzone?
alright /adv/, I have a new long distance girlfriend, as of last night, and she is coming to visit me soon. I want to blow her mind. Any tips on cunnilingus would be greatly appreciated. This will be the third woman I will have ever been with, and the last didnt like oral at all. Help me out here femanons
watch a fucking bunch of lesbian porn.
They know what to do and so will you after observing.
>>15285509
maleanon here. Not what you were after, but i can share some insight:
- Find the clitoris, if you don't know about it
- Some find it distracting if you also finger her at the same time.
- Patience is key. Find a position where you don't get a cramp in your jaw
- Listen to and look at hear reactions so that you know what works
- If she wants the D instead, it's not necessarily that you suck, but that it's such a huge turnon.
femanons, correct me if i'm wrong, so that i can improve.
Ho do you cope with having no friends?
>no friends
Every person that doesn't attempt to kill you is either neutral or friendly.
Just dandy really. In fact, life is more fulfilling! I've done more, seen more, and enjoyed more without having friends that hold me back.
Sure it isn't personal motivation that is the issue?
Believe it or not, the clock keeps ticking.
How do i cope with possible cancer?
I went to my doc because i had a lump and other cancer symptoms. She starting checking it (Poking and feeling it) and looked genuinely concerned and grew more concerned when i told her I've had it for years and the other symptoms. She told me to get back in 2 months for another check.
This was about ½ a month ago now, and it's agonising. I can't help but feel my death is near, and i randomly stop whatever i'm going and do a thousands yards stare and just think that my death could be near. I've several times been on the brink of crying.
It's also making me rethink my current lifestyle. I am spending so much time on an education i don't want and will never use, while leaving almost no time or energy for working towards my goals.
Whenever i tell people about it they either.
A) Dismiss it to talk about themselves more.
or
B) Telling me the second check will come back negative and even if i have cancer it's jut an operation and some treatment.
I don't want any more positive predictions, since they aren't doctors and they don't know anything about cancer. I normally never tell people about any of my health concerns, so they don't think i'm an hypochondriac.
All i want at the moment is just someone to tell me they get i am going through something extremely emotionally difficult and that i am not a weak person because of i'm feeling this way.
This is a cry for help /adv/ this cancer scare is tearing me apart.
This week I realized 4chan is totally useless for real pain and they don't understand shit besides the pain of self imposed loneliness and no gf. My dad and I are quietly flipping our shit because of his cancer scare. I've taken to reddit to cope with my feels, find him recipes he can stomach to eat and homeopathic shit to lessen his pain. Please try to keep laughing despite the scare and hope for the best. I will be thinking about you, anon. Please go to reddit for people who actually give a shit, this shitty place can't help you.
There really isnt anything you can do, try to stay busy, do something new and fun. all you can do is wait
Start to save up 2300 $/€
Travel to China
Live the rest of your life traveling Asia and the rest of the world, on foot or illegally by train.
Why I said China specifically? There is one answer, the Himalayas.
Once you're seen and lived the Himalayas, your whole perception on life and death will change.
Travel south to India and if you are still alive by then, go back west to Europe.
Travel illegally, have nothing on you but clothes and bare necessities which should include bushcraft tools mostly.
Only spend money on the initial trip to China, then on cheapest food you can find.
Only buy when you absolutely have to eat and have no other choice.
Those money should last you until you die of your cancer or you decide on the existence of dukkha.
If the later, die in meditation under your boddhi tree, or on the slopes of Everest.
Trust me on this, but I doubt anyone here has the balls to take this trip of life and self discovery.
ITT: Write a letter to someone who will never read it.
Dear V
I don't suppose I'll ever talk to you or see you again. I've done everything in my power to make sure our paths will never cross again, even though that's the last thing that I wanted. I miss you terribly, and haven't stopped missing you since you told me that we were over.
I saw the photos you posted of you and your boyfriend at new year. The caption saying that 2014 was the best year of your life. You looked so happy. You're at your most beautiful when you're in a relationship, when you feel confident and secure. I really wish I could be happy for you, but I can't. 2014 was the worst year of my life because with every day that passed I grew more and more distant from you. The thought that you might end up with this guy fills me with anger and bitterness, because I still believe that if the circumstances were different, we could have had a pretty great relationship.
But it is what it is, and that's probably it for you and me. I wish we could have had a proper break-up talk so I could get some real closure, but I was immature and you were defensive. That's why I've got to say these things here, and you'll never read them. You were my best friend and showed me that it's ok to open up to someone, so thank you for that. I still have lots of great memories about the fun we had together, so thank you for that. I know you never really knew how I felt about you and were genuinely upset to find out that you had hurt me, so thank you for that. Even though this past year has been awful for me, the experience taught me a lot about myself, and about how I should treat the people who are important to me. I know that the way I deleted you from my life may make it seem like I hate you, but I hope you realize that the opposite is true, and that's why I couldn't bear to see you anymore.
Goodbye, and good luck,
M
Greetings fellow human. Today you shall read my story.
It all began 20 years ago when my parents fucked. I went on a camping trip for 8.5 months in my mothers womb and came out early because i was too bored inside there after conquering it.
For 19 years i have stranded on this rock, the others call it 'earth', taking advantage of every human in each way to either make me sad thus stonger or entertain me thus happier.
I have mastered the art of masturbating and i'm proud of it. There hasn't been a day where i forgot how to breath, eat, and drink water, which is why i'm still alive. I have conquered more wombs than my mothers in my quest to fund a real Santa Claus, but i'm still far from achieving it.
From my years of experience i have come to a conclusion that demons and angels are not real. The closest thing to those is the human form which i have mistakenly taken.
Summarizing, people equal shit, trust only yourself. And anime are awesome.
Your sincerely,
op
>>15230738
Hey, you're not OP, I'm OP.
My sister was raped two days ago (she's 14) by a Somalian, and I am seriously considering paralyzing the guy. I live in another city, but can drive there during the night and make it back due morning and get to work hopefully unnoticed (the irony is I work at a hospital). I will keep my cell-phone at home (I live in scandinavia, so the police are allowed to track the GPS on my phone). I have bought a wooden bat with cash at a small store, so I can easily get rid of it when I'm done. I have premission from a loyal friend to use his car so I won't have to use my own. I know who he is, I know where he works and I know where he lives - and I really think I can get away with it. I am aware I without a doubt will be a suspect, but that won't matter if there is no evidence. The plan is to do it tomorrow. I have done my research from a device that cannot be traced back to me what so ever. Should I go through with it ? What would you do ?
As i said, I live in a scandinavian country, and the punishment he will get from the law is far from the justice she deserves. He has not been arrested yet, due to "lack of evidence". They have taken hair and blood samples, so he won't be brought in for a few days. He was her first by the way, and it breaks every fiber of my heart.
if it were me i would do it
but otherwise advice would be save yourself the trouble
Beat the shit out of him in les than 40 sec
then get the fuck out of there
And remember There is barrely any punishment if you get caught
Might as well make it worth it
But are you 100% Sure you got the right guy?
>the punishment he will get from the law is far from the justice she deserves
Then research how much time you might get if you get caught. Even if you take every precaution, you need to understand the possibility of you serving jail time for the attack and if it would be worth it.
I want to tell you "don't do it" but I would do the same thing. Make sure his balls never work again.
I'm a virgin and I'm going to be hooking up with this real attractive girl soon. Need help, I want to do a good job and not disappoint her. Shes done stuff before and tells me shes not expecting anything and that she'll help me along. Still though... Good advice, please.
Pic unrelated
Count yourself lucky your first time will be with someone experienced. It makes it easier, because they will genuinely help guide you through it. Just do what she tells you to do, you'll be fine. Don't watch porn beforehand, thinking it will teach you anything. Porn teaches you (for the most part) fuck all about real sex.
>>15212308
I guess I am lucky. I've looked at a couple tutorials but she tells me it won't work out exactly as planned. Shes nervous as I am
>>15212326
>tutorials
>porn
Avoid these. Of course it won't go exactly as those "tutorials", so just ignore them. If she's as nervous as you are, then try to relax. She won't be able to 100% know how it's gonna play out, neither will you. Just enjoy it, try not to overthink shit, and you'll be fine. And don't worry if you don't cum. It's not uncommon for people to not cum the first time they have sex. I didn't my first time, and I didn't the first couple of times years later, when I started dating a new girl.
inb4 beta, get fucked faggots, at least I can admit it
>Meet girl
>Start flirting
>Reject her
>Carry on acting as we always did
>Learn things about her life (which I'll get to in a sec)
>Start falling for her
>She wins me over
>She asked me what our relationship was; are we together?
>Told her I'd tell her on Tuesday (tomorrow), implying that it's good news.
>Suddenly changed mind and realised I don't want to pursue a relationship with her
>If I reject her now, I'll ruin her life
This is why: some of the things she's told me are that her parents divorced when she was at a very young age and her father doesn't support or visit them (he's dead to her). Because of this, they've had economic problems and have had to move 13 times (she's 16 now) and she has to work with her single mother at the local market.
So apart from her fear of moving again and losing all her friends and all (she's been here a year now), she also lost her virginity (at some age before 14) and started passively smoking at 12. Her grades aren't that great either (to be expected when all the before has happened to you).
Now, since we started getting close and I tried to help her change, she's stopped smoking, been studying a lot more, just seems to be having a better life, as if she'd been saved.
Now, if I break up with her, she'd be devastated, I think that, not only she'd go back to the bad habits, but she'd do them in bigger proportions, worse than ever. And, honestly, I don't think she could handle nor deserves any more sad occurrences in her life. Even after all that's happened to her, she's still got a great personality, kind, sweet, honest, etc.
I really don't want to destroy her life, is there any way I can let her down without doing so?
>>15096689
>Suddenly changed mind and realised I don't want to pursue a relationship with her
Why?
>>15096689
Post a pic of her, or at least someone that looks similar.
>>15096696
Personal reasons. Selfish reasons if you must.
Hey guys,
So a half an hour ago I was walking in the city on my way home. There were these UNICEF-volunteers hanging in the streets approaching people talking about little kids in Africa having trouble finding water and bladeeblabla... She asked my age, I responded with "23" and she said excellent and she asked me if I'm happy and I told her "someday are happier than other days", she said "it's because its fall and the days are getting darker soon." I said yes again. And then she told me "You know what's worse? Little kids in Africa who are sad because they have a lot of trouble getting water blablbala" After that she asked "now would you be interested in a monthly donation..." blabla you know the rest!
So what was my answer? "Yes! I'm interested..." Did I say yes because I wanted to? Or yes just because I was afraid to say no. Anyhow, I filled the forms but I told her that I'm going to think about it first before I'm depositing money for UNICEF"
Also might add that I am 23 years old and never had a gf, I am a student who barely can get money. I don't know but I have a hard time saying "no" because I'm not very confident and I'm also weak to say no to beautiful girls, she was indeed beautiful.
Help me guys, how would you've taken the situation under control? What should I do in the future if I'm coming across a similar situation? I need your help!
>>15053600
I had the same problem in my late teens people would ask for donations I'd panic and sign the form.
The thing that brought me out of my shell was getting a new job, socialising and going to bars with friends, working on my confidence and self esteem by setting targets and achieving them, going to the gym and getting fashion tips.
Of you could just say "sorry I'm late for work/my bus/meeting my friend" and make sure you know what to say to them as soon as you spot them, good luck fellow anon.
>>15053654
>>15053600
Also I forgot.
Always remember these people are there to make a sale, they look for easy targets and do not care about the charity or you. Just making a commission.
>>15053661
Thanks your advice means a lot to me :)
I didn't see one. Checked the entire catalog. I'll go first. (1/2)
You said a lot of things, and I don't remember any of it, but here's what I got out of it: I have no place here, I have no place in society, I don't live here (my mom often says this to me), I don't belong here, I have no other place to go, I am a guest. I really felt like calling up Safe Harbor to see if they'd take me in: I was (am?) homeless. Think about that: me showing up at the very place you volunteer at. I never felt comfortable with you around, I always quieted my voice if I knew you were home. You're very offputting and imposing. Meanwhile I tried to stay out of your way, as much as I could, because your behavior and actions conveyed that's exactly what you wanted me to do.
I don't see how that makes me a pain in the ass if I don't provoke you. You, however, provoked me routinely. I can see why Bryan hated you; I side with him. What would your god think? He'd probably be disappointed in you. Being the type that worries about what happens after you die, this should be cause for alarm. You talk about becoming blessed, yet you drive me away? That's like deducting bless points, or whatever you do in your religion to calculate them. You can volunteer all you'd like but it won't cover up for what's going on between us.
>>15036028 (2/2)
Finally, you may be able to drive me away, stamp out my happiness, and generally make me feel unwelcome, but you can't totally take away the only person that I love, trust, and confide in. I'll be coming over periodically to play with my boyfriend & spend time with him as per usual for me, thank-you-very-much. The energy cost will be miniscule compared to when I stayed in Anne's room nightly. If the sight of my blue lifeline cord somehow upsets you, I can't help you on that. Try looking away. As your god would probably instruct you to do, put up with it, because it ain't doing you any harm (I always try to lay it flat so no one trips over it). If the sight of me somehow upsets you, I can't help you with that either, because I don't plan on showing myself much anyway.
However, I will do chores around your house just to shut you up, not because I actively want to help you out. I'll continue to come over to take care of Harley because I know for a fact you won't. If you, by chance, want me to actively help you out instead of avoiding the tasks, simply make me feel more at home. I don't want you to buy me food or treat me to things just to win my favor. I don't operate like that -- pretty sure no one does. Finally, I urge you to stop caring about me because you have to. Care only if you want to. And not because you think your god made me.
tl;dr: You may have driven me away, but I'll still come over to take care of my cat, and spend time with Danny
YOU RAPED ME, ILL FUCKING KILL U BITCH ASS SLUT IF I EVER SEE U. FUCKING RAPIST. RAPPEE!! RAPPEE!!! RAPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not attracted to you physically but I still like you a lot. I hope we can make it work.
I've never felt the need to post here, but I want some older anon's advice on this.
My background (my life story):
I'm 18 years old and well, for my entire life I've been fairly happy, though I've been by myself. My parents were always busy and I have no siblings, so I used to entertain myself with vidya and tv a lot. I've always been a straight A student. As a kid I played lots of soccer and cricket, I eased up on it when I turned 10 or so, but I still always made time for physical activity. As a kid I always used to eat a lot, so I was fat.
Starting secondary school was more or less okay, but I went from being extremely talkative to being extremely introvert. This really hit me when I tore my ACL at 14. I didn't treat it properly so now even today I can't run without pain. Physical activity was out for sometime.
Now because of that, I started becoming very socially anxious. I never ever went out and I ended just staying home doing nothing with my life. I still did well in exams in school, but today I realise it wasn't worth it. While everyone was going out having a wonderful time, guys meeting girls etc, I was at home. Now I should note in my country there are more same-sex schools, so I've never broken out of my comfort zone to talk to girls and stuff.
I know my parents limited me a lot but I can't really blame them, in the end it was my fault, I didn't swing the bat.
Anyways, at 16/17 I started talking a lot to this girl, to the point I liked her and ended up changing myself (losing my weight, becoming more sociable with people etc) just so she (and by virtue lots of people) could like me, and I can finally break out of my shell. Sadly that ended up badly and now about a year or so later I'm back to eating shit, no exercise and being twice as socially anxious as before.
I'm in my last year of secondary school now (upper six), and I barely attend school.
>>15016871
>(Cont'd)
In lower six I barely attended school nor extra lessons, but I still managed to get all grade 1's. I convinced myself that I'm happy but I'm not. I'm really bored with my life. I have no idea what to do, but I know what I DON'T want to do. I feel as if I should go out and be able to meet new people, but I should be attending school and doing well in my exams, getting into uni and getting a good job, wife, child, retirement and all that jazz. But honestly I really don't want to do that ! They say happiness is doing whatever you want but the thing is I don't WANT to do these things ! I really didn't wana seek help with this because I'm pretty sure I'm just being a little bitch, but that's just it. Now I'm at this point in my life where I'm sure I'll progress but idk in what direction. And I'm extremely certain I'm going to end up alone with this anxiety I have. I've drifted away from all my friends, albeit 2 or 3 still talk to me, but now they're all having their lives and I just..
I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'm bored, lazy or just fucking stupid, but I'm just feddup of everything. What's wrong with me ? What should I do ? What about my future? What should I do about that ?
Everyone's terrible and will leave you.
You just have to whip your nuts out and tell em all to go fuck themselves.
I was dumped around your age after a long relationship. Fucking hurt. Didn't do shit became an alcoholic pothead.
Started blaming everyone else for my social anxiety. My parent fucked me over on raising me, man, but fuck them. I have such bad anxiety that I've been seeing a doctor for it almost 10 years now. Fuck it.
My girlfriend if 2 years broke up with me last night.
Does it suck? Yes.
Am I anxious as fuck? Yes.
But look at the bright side.
You have so much soul searching to do.
Go meet a chick. Smoke some pot.
Whatever. Fuck it. I don't care.
The point is. The world eats you.
Or you eat it. And i'ma bout to take a huge bite.
You make the assumption that going out and getting girls would have made you happier than you are now, you don't know this, so your regrets aren't rational.
What are your interests? If you don't know, experiment with more things until you find what right. if you already know, find a job that incorporates those interests. But interests I don't just mean hobbies, I mean creative drive, how intellectual you are, whether you prefer group work or individual pursuits, etc.
Learn to like yourself more. Contentment is something found in the self, not externally.
