Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 214. page
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How would I go about becoming a transhumanist test subject as a job? Like a test dummy for implants and hands and arms, or legs.
>>17319005
Do they actually pay money for that? I thought some "for science" idiot always shows up who does it voluntarily.
>>17319012
I don't know, I guess if they help me pay for my medication and a place with internet, and that i am healthy. I totally would let them use my hands or what ever.
>>17319018
Maybe you should directly ask the head of an institute in the field of medical science of a university, write him an e-mail and ask about if there is such a thing.
If there is he would probably know it.
I found a brown recluse in my bathroom. How do I deal with the fear?
smush it
It ran away and I can't find it
>>17318956
By "brown recluse" do you mean a Mexican with agoraphobia?
>went to England from USA to be with my British gf
>She dumps me a week in
Besides the fact that it's a horrible situation, I've got 7.5 grand in my bank and no commitments to anywhere or anything, financial or otherwise. Should I go back to the states and regroup/take time to heal, or should I go and explore Europe for a bit? I'm completely heartbroken and lost right now. Pic unrelated, just a drawing of mine I took a picture of on my phone
7.5 grands will get you nowhere in western europe. Instead of burning it all on a very frugal 2-3 month trip where you're out of cash in the end, go back to america and get your shut together.
Do you have any remaining contact with your gf or her family? If she isnt a total bitch, she should feel responsible for helping you in some way.
>>17318952
Go back to the US. Travel a bit if you want, but you can't stay there indefinitely with no plan.
>>17318952
What is your usual preferred coping method? Do you prefer to seek solace in family and close friends, or do you prefer some time to yourself? Do you prefer a break from your usual routine, or to keep yourself busy with hobbies and work? Do you heal better with a bit of a hedonistic wallow or some dedicated self-improvement.
So those are your considerations, my two cents: Solo travel can be good after a breakup as you will have some fun new experiences and meet heaps of interesting people. I think in your situation though it's too soon, if it was me I'd just head home ASAP, take a few days/weeks to get my shit together, if I still wanted to travel I could do so at that point. Travelling, especially solo can be stressful and has big swings between high and low points which you probably aren't in a great situation to handle right now. Plus Western Europe is a popular destination for couples which is probably not something you want to be surrounded by right now.
After doing irregular nightshifts for a while (no longer doing so) my sleeping has adjusted quite well to that type of pattern.
Although, i have stopped taking those shifts, and i have been unable to get my body back into a normal sleep routine. This is messing with me quite a bit, since during the normal week i am back to having a day schedule, and as a result i am getting far less sleep.
To make matters worse, by the 4th, it is absolutely imperative that i get up in the morning hours and to have had enough sleep to be able to function properly.
Yesterday i woke up at 6:30pm. I think on average, people are awake for around 15 hours. This would result in me becoming tired naturally around 9:30am EST
Would the best thing to do be to stay awake as long as i can right now, past 9:30am and hopefully try to fall asleep around the evening, perhaps at 6:30pm? Then after that, gradually increasing the time i fall asleep to a later time, such as 10:00pm?
This would mean i end up staying awake for 24 hours, which isn't too fun or healthy, especially when i still have things i need to focus on today.
Would the better choice be to try and fall asleep asap right now, and maybe get a short amount of sleep today and set an alarm, then gradually decrease the time of that alarm until it's at a normal hour of waking up?
The second option seems like it would be ideal, but the circumstances of needing to have this sleep pattern completely fixed by the 4th kind of makes it more difficult.
I'm not sure what to do. Please help me guys.
Well, the time is coming close to where my decision will make a difference. Any advice anyone?
>>17318979
I have the same problem, somebody help.
>>17318981
OP here.
Decided i'm going to go with first option since it seems the most logical in my situation
>get a 5-day break free of any compromises or work
>didn't do shit
>didn't work on my personal projects
>neglected every invitation to go out with my friends
>barely messaged the gf; she's pissed
>spent a shit ton of money eating like a pig
>haven't done any exercise
>didn't even play any video games
Spent 5 straight days browsing this fucking site. It's 4:30 AM and I'm just lurking with a couple beers and cookies next to me.
Why do I hate myself so much? I always loathe these free times but never do shit when I get them.
How/where do I start to change?
Anon same is happening to me. I have a SHIT LOAD of free time, and I am not doing shit. Occasionally going out to smoke some weed, but mostly in my house losing time. I don't know what to do.
It might not seem like helpful advice but honestly, buddy, the way to do things is just to do them.
>>17318850
Yea, but how do I "trigger" myself to do it?
What are the actual chances of me getting an STD from having mostly protected sex (oral is unprotected)? We met online and we've gone on one date, she told me she's a stripper and it put me off for this reason.
If you use a condom it's really low afaik. At least not worth worrying over.
STD's like HIV are already very low chance to get (as long as it's piv and not anal) even without protection. But it's just that the very small risk of getting it isn't worth it. By using a condom you make that risk practically 0%.
>>17318806
She's a stripper though. Surely the chances are higher
>>17318794
I don't think you have anything to worry about. She's only a stripper. If she were an escort or prostitute, then your concerns would be justified.
I had a girl message me on an online dating site about a week ago, and since then we've been chatting every day. I did ask to exchange numbers quite early (I try to move things forward off the site), but she claimed to have had bad experiences on these sites and wasn't sure yet. I assumed this wouldn't go anywhere but I continued chatting to her because she was interesting to talk to, which makes a pleasant change. Anyway, she's still replying a few days later and her replies are thoughtful as opposed to the one-liners I'm used to.
Not sure how to go about this. On the one hand I think it's possible she's interested hence why she's still chatting with me, and may be on the defensive/shy (she doesn't ask me any questions really). On the other hand, and most likely, it seems like she's talking to me out of boredom/I'm being played.
What do? Basically.
>>17318764
She's had bad experiences yet she's still on there.
"Hey listen, we're both on here because we're searching for someone. I find you interesting and you CLEARLY find me interesting *wink* otherwise we wouldn't be talking to each other as much as we have. I'd like to move forward with you and take you out on a date"
Be confident and forward and make it clear that you are looking for an off site relationship. If she's not willing to do that with you despite her bad experiences, then you have to keep moving ahead. Most women will not let go of a man that they think has the potential to be a real catch.
I'll give it a go. :)
She actually agreed, and now I feel stuck lmao, ain't had any luck with girls for over a year now.
Not sure how to make the date a good one. I've never been on a date. I just fell into my last relationships.
Need an easy way to kill myself, don't do so well with blood though. I've made up my mind on this so no judgement just help me find a good way please.
If your gonna do it, then do some crazy stuff before, take a loan, take a trip to some far off country and start new, just have fun.
>>17318763
Some kind of narc but that might feel pretty shitty unless it's sleep meds.
I know you said don't say it, but....don't do it....I think about doing it myself all the time even when things are going right in life....its just a thing you're feeling and may feel when you're in your high points in life, but when those highs come you'll still be able to enjoy them, trust me, even with sometimes feeling like you don't want to experience anymore, you'll be surprised by how much you enjoy the next event...just don't do it.
>>17318763
If you really want to kill yourself, you wouldn't give a shit about the method.
I applied for a security guard job. Since at this point in my life, I am literally am obsessed with money. Oh yeah, I am already a security guard. I decid3d to get another job. It might be a security thing, just need it for some reason. So, the job I applied for never called. They said they would "at least" by Monday. Now it's Sunday where I live. Should I expect to be blown out? Or any possibility I might still get it?
>>17318711
What?
>>17318738
I assume you are asking about the horrible grammar. I suck at mobile. Typing is a nightmare since I'm at work. I'm applying for a job but it's been a week since they said they'd call. Should I worries?
>>17318711
You send them one email and gauge their interest in you based on that.
If you're rejected, you thank them for their time and ask that they keep you in mind should they require someone in the future.
Then you graciously move on and keep looking elsewhere. In fact, you really shouldn't stop looking for job even if you really want this one.
Do we women think about the guys they like?
When a guy sees a girl he fancies, from then on until she rejects him he's just thinking what he can do to get with her.
But girls just seem like "oh yeh I like him, oh look a butterfly" and then go on with shit.
Are women just cold blooded? Do they ever care about a guy?
>waaaaah, women don't obsess over guys the way guys do over them
Maybe if you had other things going on in your life you wouldn't be so pathetic
>>17318709
Reptile detected.
I'm not a woman so I don't know from personal experience, but since they're human I assume that they probably do think about guys they like, pine for them, fantasize about them when they're away, etc. Kinda silly to think otherwise
The reason they might not try to be forward and initiate contact like a man would probably do with a woman he's interested in is because socially they are expected to receive the attention and select from their suitors, whereas men are supposed to take the initiative and make their interest clear.
This is only speaking in crude, general, and somewhat outdated terms, though. While the long-standing cultural traditions of gender roles in the courtship process still hold very strongly and are buried really deeply into our subconscious, many exceptions do exist. My first gf initiated contact with me first, flirted with me heavily before I even realized what she was doing, and ultimately she was the one who asked me to date her rather than the other way around. The girl who eventually became my second gf was so attracted to me that she spilled her spaghetti and basically said to my face that she had feelings for me after the first time we hung out together.
Women are humans, Anon. And a lot of humans are kinda shitty. But a lot more of them are decent. Find the decent ones.
Let's say you have a job and you are going to pay for a gym membership to gradually get lean/fit.
Honestly, I hate to ask this but how do you guys get with someone who looks this pretty ?
Treat them better than you treat your mother
That photo is the result of layers of makeup, hair that takes hours to perfect, and lights and angles. Girls who aren't high maintenance don't look like that irl. If you do want a high maintenance girl, that's going to take patience and money
it's takes a lot of effort, time and money to look like that. sure, some girls just get lucky with metabolism, skin, hair and so on. but maintainance is a bitch. also, if you look like that, you will want to underline that effort with nice clothes, shoes, bags and so on. oh and you can't look like that and then have an ugly old car. or a cheap appartment. it's a whole lifestyle that needs to be kept up. make sure you can provide that, because she most likely invests every spare minute into hair, makup, exercies and hopping and has no time to pursue a worthwhile career. if she does, don't even bother unless you are the sole heir of some old money with a castle in the provence and a spotless bloodline.
also, 90% of the cases, she will be entitled af and thinking the world revolves aroun her - which she does. good luck with that...
So there's this woman that's a huge tease to everyone and is extremely flirty yet she never had a boyfriend. I've seen her as a friend since day one because I love her values and beliefs do I always ignored her flirtation and touchy side. I pretty much said you're like a sister to me at one point. We texted a lot and one day I stopped texting her because she was causing issues with my ex (she did stuff like touch my ass between classes qnd when my ex found out she got pissed ofcourse) then I see her in person a year later and she says "Remember when we were friends". I start snapping her again because I felt bad and she sends a pic of some asshole with a toothbrush in it and starts lying to me about petty shit like eating all the doritos and sends me pics of her doing randomn shit and of guys she's teasing.
>tl;dr this extremely flirty girl that's my friend starts trolling me and asking me to text her after I ignored her and send autistic shit.
How does she actually feel about me /adv/? I don't care either way but she's being stranger than usual and I'm wondering why she's sending lewd images
>pic related a censored version of what she sent to me.
>>17318682
My advice is to ask her plainly and bluntly how she feels about you and why she keeps sending you those images.
Flirty nature is attention seeking behavior caused by a lack of a strong male figure in your life during childhood and adolescence.. She's starved for it.
Friends like these can be bad if you're in a committed relationship. They will often push the boundaries and it sounds like she's already caused problems with your ex.
>>17318751
Thank you, I've never directly asked but from the beggining she said she loves me and when I told her I loved her as a sister she said she loved me as a brother.
Gonna project a bit cause I've been in your situation.
She's just attention whoring anon. All she wants is attention, nothing more. It's a game to her; any time you try to get closer she'll push you away, any time you try to ignore her she'll say anything she can to get her hooks back in you. Just cut off contact and eventually she'll give up.
I met a girl recently who I'm extremely attracted to, she's also head over heels for me, but I already have a spouse. How can I be a close friend to her while being a good person?
Before you answer, let me give you some background information.
I met my wife about a decade ago, we've always had a pretty rough relationship but she's a good person. It's only because of her that I am who I am today, because of the high standards she had set for me, and I really like who I am today. She's extremely independent and doesn't really know how to be gentle or to emotionally connect, which has driven me to the brink of breaking it off with her more times than I can count over the course of our relationship. For example, she's completely against any displays of affection, hates to be touched and sees no problems with leaving me behind if we're out somewhere and I stop for whatever reason to look at something. We've always been separated by a significant distance, so we've never actually lived together for an extended period of time. I do visit her quite often but she almost never visits me because of her work schedule and her many other obligations to her family. She also never wears her ring, even though I wear mine every single day.
On the other hand, she's very accommodating and caring on occasion, and she can be very adorable when she wants to be. She's always open and honest with me, at least as far as I can tell, though I have my doubts with certain things. She's always reasonable in discussions whenever we have a disagreement and will logically work out a problem with me.
Most importantly, she has flat out told me on several occasions that she really has no problem with me finding another girl to keep me company here, because we are separated by distance and can't see each other every day.
>>17318612
Which brings me to my next point. She's always very secretive, her phone is always locked and she never lets me handle her phone to look up an address on google maps or find a restaurant or w/e. When I've used her computer, she always logs off and signs on a guest account for me. The few times when I've been on a computer where she had logged into her email, she would rush to the computer and log off, even though I was looking at something completely different. This coupled with how she tells me that there's a couple guy friends she sees very often makes me have very real doubts on her fidelity. Even though given her personality I think if she was unfaithful, she'd just straight up tell me and not give a fuck.
We've had a few arguments about this in the past and she's said to me that she personally can differentiate between sex and romance. So she's okay with us sleeping with other people, but because it was never something I was okay with, she respects my feelings and refrains from doing so.
>>17318613
Recently I've felt like we've communicated with each other less and less, haven't really had a meaningful conversation in a while. We just call each other to check in and talk about shit from work or w/e.
We did plan a trip together in the near future and she's put a lot of effort in preparing for the trip, getting new clothes and gear and whatnot. This makes me feel like she's really trying to make it work, especially because this trip is mostly for my benefit. She also hates kids and never wants to have children, which is something I’ve always wanted but recently forgotten about.
>>17318617
So let's talk about this new girl. I met her about a week and a half ago and we really hit it off the first time we met. It was very brief but I could tell she was interested by the way she initiated and responded to conversation afterwards. So far we've had one date and I haven't told her about my wife yet. I'd say she's probably an 8.5/10 to me, gorgeous body, pretty face, tall and Korean. Our date was amazing, I went into it with a resolve not to sleep with her because I didn't want to cheat on my wife, but man I almost couldn't do it. She suddenly started holding my hand halfway through the date and kept touching me constantly. After we went back to her place, she changed into a cute ass dress and I could tell she wasn't wearing any underwear. We sat for a while on the couch and watched the night lights and lightning as a thunderstorm brewed outside, I honestly have not been this happy in a long time. Ultimately I got up and left and I'm sure she was very disappointed but I needed to be a responsible person. She left town for a few days and is coming back afterwards before she goes back to Korea. She even wrote me a cute letter on a napkin on her plane ride today and sent me a photo.
How to socialize well /adv/?
I can't hold a conversation with anyone, I always find people boring, I can't really do anything with subjective opinions. Almost every conversation I have with anyone ends with I just getting bored of others even though I'm pretty sure I'm the boring one. I just don't know how to get to know people and enjoy myself without either getting really bored, or hurting others by trying to correct them.
It's even worse with women. There was a girl who fell for me but I didn't even realize it, and she got really hurt. Last week one of her girlfriend told me she was all over me, and she was really hurt when I was really cold to her and dismissive. It wasn't the first time a girl has fallen for me and I didn't even recognize it. Feels like shit.
What do?
Are you me? I'm in the same boat and have no advice. I hope someone replies.
Bump, if that's okay. I would really like a second opinion on this.
I hate talking to most people outside of my immediate family/friends but if I have to I let them take the lead in the convo (which I'm sure they like) and just work with whatever they're taking about. If applicable, mix in a personal detail. If not, mention how you might be interested or have heard of topic x or how it relates to topic y.
Reading emotions is a bit harder and probably something you have to learn over time. For me it's all in the very subtle details outside of the extremely obvious. For example, Friend A might be a bit more aloof then normal, losing focus, etc and it most likely means their upset.
Hope that helps somehow.
>Meet this girl last year
>we get to know each other, she shows interest in me, but has a bf
>things goes fast, we can't stop talking.
>one day she asks me where the things are going
>told her I like her but won't move anything since she has a bf
>we stopped talking for no reason (apparently)
>few weeks later, she breaks up with his bf
>won't talk to me
>months later, she messages me, tells me she miss me and we should hang out.
>we set up a date but she cancels hours before
>we stop talking
>weeks later, she messages me again an ask me (sometimes she implies it) to go out but suddenly, we stop talking again
>repeat cycle x3
Does she want only attention? Since she know I like her or what its happening?
Need serious advice on this
>>17318537
Lol.
>>17318594
yeah, I know.
She might want you to take the lead more. From what I understand is that you just let it go when she cancels to hang out, like just "ok" instead of trying for another time/something else. It's also important (for us) to know why she canceled them. Have you ever asked her to hang out or grab a drink/date yourself?
![fft81_mf2834506[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RqYGO1I.jpg "fft81 mf2834506[1]")
