Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 210. page
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My last chance of becoming somewhat normal is to finally gain some confidence in myself, but how do I do that? I've basically devoted my life to becoming good at an instrument now, I practice for a minimum of 5 hours every single day. Obviously, progress is happening and I should start playing with other people immediately. But I keep telling myself that I'm not good enough, that I'll just drag them down or that they'd laugh at me.
Logical arguments simply don't work, I KNOW that that's bullshit or just an excuse, but it doesn't help with the anxiety and panic when I'm confronted with a situation like that. How do I gain that first speck of confidence and that feeling of self worth and how do I go from there?
>>17320075
You just gotta will yourself into it. Your confidence will build over time. It'll be brutal at first, but it will get better pretty quick as you begin to get comfortable in your surroundings.
>>17320075
>How do I gain that first speck of confidence and that feeling of self worth and how do I go from there?
Go out and absolutely fail at a social interaction. Then wake up the next morning and realize that your life hasn't ended.
Repeat till confident.
>>17320075
do lots of shit that makes you uncomfortable.
Chatting with strangers, going to new places, trying new things.
Confidence comes from experience.
what is this??
>>17320058
Idk, the bags? Or what?
Looks like the inside of what may be a trash compactor? Shrug
>>17320058
sniff it and let us know.
Drugs, obviously. Probably cocaine
Ask a guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
I used to be like you; confused, angry, bitter. I didn't know how to talk to women and I hated myself (and women) for it. I finally decided to take my life into my own hands and change the way I perceived the world and now I'm here to share what I've learned with you.
Ask away.
>>17320056
Give us your backstory, how you grew up, yadda yadda
>>17320056
>Ask a guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
How many STDs have you contracted?
>>17320056
This shit thread again?
>gf is bored
>asks what I want to do
>I have plenty of ideas
>she says no to every single one
>ask her what she wants to do
>"I don't know..."
Should I stop suggesting and just start doing, with or without her? It's seriously frustrating.
>>17320040
She isn't bored, she is just trying to drive you fucking mental.
Yes, go do stuff without her if she doesn't want to join. You're her boyfriend, not a fucking television.
Just start having fun without her. She'll want to join in if she isn't completely worthless. If she's still just a lazy vagina after seeing how much you enjoy life then scrap her.
Don't ask her what she wants to do. Tell her what you're going to do and invite her along.
I saw a prostitute through an agency in Niagara Falls back in April. I wore a condom but her vaginal secretions entered my mouth at one point
in april i had a sinus infection that hospitalized me for 3 days
since 6-28ish I've had an ear/throat infection.
do i have HIV?
Yep.
yeah and cancer.
but seriously get tested m8.
>>17320036
>do I have HIV
get tested you heeb
How does one meet new people?
I used to have a pretty good chunk or friends, but now they've all either moved away or got married and don't have time for me. My job is just working in an office mostly alone. This long weekend made me realize that I just spend all my time free time alone in my room.
meetup.com
>>17320031
But doesn't that just hook you up with more depressed weirdos? I'd like some normal faggotry in my life if at all possible.
join a club. Tennis, climbing, magic, book club, photography.
How to accept that you can't make a person love you?
By moving on.
>>17320027
How the fuck do you do that? Not OP, but I'm in the same boat.
>>17320024
You can make a man love you by looking better and talking to him while being as non-bitchy as possible.
You can make a woman love you by attaining higher social status and talking to her at all.
So I'm in a weekend relationship for two months now (first realtionship) and I really love my gf. I'm what you would call a "nice guy", so I listen to her, ask how her day was, help her organizing stuff (she's a bit chaotic) and so on. Her parents like me and I'm always sure to show her my love.
I don't overdo it tho, if I don't like something I say it, I like rough sex and don't forget about my friends.
Still, she seems to miss the dominance of her ex, although both of them were assholes as she describes them. She's the dominant kind of woman and she wants a dominant man beside her, I understand that. I'm physically strong and fit, but very calm, so I don't see her having a whiny or weak partner.
So far I haven't had the chance to "protect" her or something like that.
I guess she wants to be teased once in a while.
But in a weekend relationship I hardly can tease her in any way. Sex denial would pretty much backfire into no sex and frustration for both sides over several weeks. Her ex did that to keep their sex life interesting, but they lived next to each other.
While she is confident and dominant as a woman, I know she has been hurt (mentally) in her past by her father (divorce) and her ex (not caring about her, leaving her for another). So I'm really careful in what I say and do (being "fat" is an issue of hers). She can mock me for being just as tall as her or for being out of form, but I don't have anything like that.
On top of that, I have no experience about relationships or sex at all.
Do you have any advice for me? I know she likes my calmness, my looks, my respect for her. At the same time, she wants to be challenged.
I honestly don't know what to to. I don't know how to tease her. I'd never ignore her for the sake of being unavailable. I only see her at the weekend.
Some would say I shouldn't bend myself for her, and if it gets too bad, I'll quit. But I'd like to hear your ideas please.
>>17320016
Women want to be dominated by a man. She is cheating on you, because she views you as a beta that can be walked all over.
>>17320016
>So I'm in a weekend relationship for two months
that is not a relationship you have been dating some girl for a few months
>>17320050
Yeah, I know man. So what can I do about it when I rarely get the chance to be dominant. Can't be dominant when all we do is fuck and walk the dog.
How do I choose a birth control method?
I'm a female and I'm going to start having sex within the next few years, but I have no idea what birth control method to use.
>spermicide
>calendar method
>sponge
>withdrawal
>condoms
>diaphragm
Too much of a risk of failure and user error.
>ring
>patch
>pills
Still not as effective as I'd like, there's still great chance for user error, and now you have to deal with the risk of hormones affecting you negatively.
>Depo shot
Hormone concern x100. I've read this method is the absolute worst when it comes to hormonal side-effects.
>Copper IUD
I already have very heavy, long, and painful periods, and this will most likely make them worse. There's also the risk of dislodgment and perforation, which is greater in women who haven't had children yet.
>hormonal IUD
The same as above, except trade the worse periods for hormonal side-effects.
>sterilization
Not meant to be reversible, and I'd like the choice to have children later.
>arm implant
This is what I'm leaning most towards, but I'm still very scared of the hormonal side-effects. I don't want to lose my sex-drive or have worse depression.
Just use pills and use your alarm to take it at the same time each day.
I have the same problem
I can't take estrogen because of genetic blood clot risks, and progesterone makes me suicidal
I also have very heavy periods and my mom had a very bad experience with the copper IUD, so I'm not exactly thrilled about that one either
for now I'm using condoms but yeah female birth control is shit if you can't tolerate hormones
>>17320003
Under 25 year old woman, never been pregnant, on the copper IUD here.
I would recommend that you try some hormonal birth control methods before getting an arm implant or anything of that nature. I was on the pill and the NuvaRing for years before I went down the copper IUD route. I took the pill/ring exactly according to the directions and never had any pregnancy scares. However, hormonal side effects were very bad for me, I became very depressed.
I know a lot of women who have tried a lot of different pills until they found one that suited them and now they are very happy. If I was in your shoes, I would do this as it would help me to understand what dosages suit/how certain hormones effect me.
I have been on the copper IUD for a year now and have no complaints, but I would not recommend it if you have not tried the pill, patch or ring first.
>old friend from college
>her husband recently divorced her, supposedly because she was sleeping around on him
>I've been riding her like a roller-coaster with no line for the past month or so
>she's down for almost anything, she's rich and idle
I realize that she's not wife or gf material, but how long is it really possible to continue a fuck buddies situation like this for?
Literally forever if you play your cards right and firmly establish yourself as some quality outside dick. I say outside because you probably stand a better chance of prolonging this by keeping her at arm's length/making her want you more. Don't try to fill in the spot of her husband.
>>17320001
You don't think she'll ever get settled with someone else or demand more?
>>17320014
why should you even care. Emotionally detach from her right now or you are fucked. If she jumps to some other dick so what, if she wants more tell her thanks but no thanks.
![iStock_000012604968Small-575x382[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/r5EX3vQ.jpg "iStock 000012604968Small-575x382[1]")
I'm great with people, I'm socially aware and perhaps have some charisma.
When I'm with a group of people I act like on a stage, I can steal the show - show exactly enough of myself to keep people interested but not tired of me, run into and keep the limelight.
Make them laugh, make everyone laugh, keep a high-profile image of myself.
But then comes the moment when the social gathering is over and everyone goes home, everyone keeps talking with each other and I practically disappear. They don't hear from me, they assume I have a life.
I do my best to screen an image of a great social persona but I just can't keep a single friend.
Put me in a room with somebody for an hour, I will entertain him and make a friend. That hour is over, that connection dies.
At places I am literally popular, at home I'm an abandoned and forgotten stray cat.
The game of establishing a strong image for myself brings me to the point where I become a detached friend who never messages, never keeps a friend. This extreme social awareness and fear of ruining an image makes me unable to evem send a whatsapp message.
What can an anon do to overcome this?
>>17319955
so you just don't keep in contact with people, and you wonder why they don't keep in contact with you?
what image could you possibly have to maintain that prevents you from sending a message? because the only image you're presenting is that of someone who's too stuck up to message anybody.
>>17319955
Why would they want to hang out with anyone who acts like their on a stage and "stealing the show."? Stop pretending social gatherings are your place to outshine everyone else.
Nobody wants to be friends with someone who just grabs all the attention then bails. You should cut all that shit out fast.
>>17319955
It's because you THINK you're stealing the show. In reality all you're doing is providing a temporary distraction and failing to make an actual connection with people.
I was one here yesterday and a few of you replied, I could not post anymore because it was archived... Let me explain further,
I currently attend a school that is an 5 out of 10, rated by most school websites. The mayor even said that the school system was one of the worst. I, for my class excel, and Im on my way to taking advanced courses. I'm pretty shown off in the school.
This other school, its beautiful, looks like a college campus. The school sites rate it 8 out 10, and like I said before, they send students to Ivy League schools. They accepted me a while back, and Im going for a bridge week. Their #25 in my state, while the other is #385. I know once I go there, I'll barely be recognized for academic achievement, and they are NOT giving me the courses they're offering in my current school. I mean, this school's SAT score is 1720, theyre proficient in math and ELA, I just dont know.
Does that matter?
Do I stay in my current school?
Here are further statistics:
Current High School:
SAT score: 1380
Proficiency in math: 48%
Proficiency in ELA: 69%
I don't know what to do.
>>17319917
Continue shining where you are. Admissions in college will take a lot into account, especially your area, the shittiness of it and your ability to overcome all of those obstacles.
High schools don't really matter, it's what you do with your time that matters. Extracurricular, volunteering, internships, etc. It's not always about shining where everyone is shining, sometimes it's better to shine where nobody is.
So I'm a high school teacher in a really terrible school district in a rural part of California. While we do have some success stories, (One of our students was accepted to Stanford after getting a perfect score on the math portion of the SAT), most of our best students are destined for middle of the road state colleges.
I think you should go to the other school. Colleges do look at your schools API (academic performance index) when making admissions decisions, and if you're looking at in state admissions, they'll likely know your district/school by reputation alone. That's not to say that you can't succeed, but going to a better school increases your chances.
I think you will also benefit from being around better students, they will challenge you in ways that you may not be challenged at the current moment. Typically better schools have better extracurricular activities, more motivated students, and better/more educated staff. One of the reasons under performing schools and districts remain as under performing is that the best teachers leave after 3-5 years to find better opportunities and the worst teachers remain ingrained because they can get away with bad practices. I know you said they didn't have some of the classes that you wanted- what kind of programs are we talking about? AP? IB? Particular classes? That may be something to consider if it is really important to you.
You will no longer be the golden child, that's true. But from your tone it seems that you aren't satisfied being the king of the garbage dump. You will actually challenge yourself when you are put up against motivated students who want to succeed.
There's this program in my school that started a few years back, in 8th grade I got tested for honors Algebra I, and then I'll continue with Algebra II, Geometry and Im clear that my teacher told me I'd take AP Calculus by the time I'm in 11th. If I attend the other school, I'll start over again, they're giving me regular algebra I, but the secretary told me further on I'd take IB classes. (It is a magnet school).
How come I need experience to get 1-3 month long internships? How the fuck am I supposed to get a job?
I want to go in to media
>>17319912
Use school extracurricular activity as experience. If you're in college, go to Financial Aid and ask for a job. They'll hook you right up.
The rest is history.
>>17319921
i've just finished uni. I have some extracurricular experience but people are asking for a year.
>>17319912
>>17319928
LIE
Just fucking lie. That's what everyone else does.
Most jobs are way easier than the person hiring for thinks and they will tell you what to do when you start anyway.
I got a problem. Myself and another were born with interesting attributes and identities. We have been being ritually molested, mutilated etc.
The Canucks won't stop bothering me, stealing my information, material, etc. Because we matter and they don't. As if the pencil neck molester Canucks see our lives as an opportunity to try and make Canadians matter so they can smear their Canadian shit across the world.
I tried scouting out other countries but they actually followed me and ruined my vacations by constantly annoying me. The last time I tried to vacation , one of the millions of faggoted Canadian guys, called the cops who arrested me for no reason then locked me up for a month.
Basically from what I've been told the Canucks are violating our human rights for amusement because we are interesting, they're not, and Canadians specialize in molestation in their struggle to attain desirability and relevance
What can I do about all this?
Explain further
>>17319899
really makes you think
Lol wut
Unless you're First Nation, kindly shut the fuck up
What should i make of this? If you couldn't figure it out, it said i got the highest possible score on mensas mock test. Does it even mean anything? Should I apply for membership?
It's a scam to make money, by falling for it you've proven that your IQ is bottom of the barrel, congratulations.
>>17319893
What do you base this on?
>>17319874
Mensa, from my experience, is nothing more than a group of people who want to be told they are a highly intelligent group of people. Is that really what you want? Affirmation that you're intelligent?
