Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 203. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 203. page
Fuck, /adv/, slap some sense into me please.
I feel really creeped out by my father, and I'm not sure if my feelings are valid or if it's all in my head.
For example, he tells me to shut the blinds on a regular basis. They're situated in a way that forces you to bend over the couch to shut them. He watches me from behind as I shut them, which makes me feel uncomfortable.
One night in particular, he asked me to shut them and my mom offered to do it instead since I had my hands full. He snapped at her; "No, not YOU!".
He alway jokes about sexual things around me, and brings up topics like child rape/molestation.
There were a couple incidents when I was little (10-13yrs) where I didn't wipe properly. He made a big scene of it, saying "What's that smell? It smells like poop. Is that you? Come here." and he'd make me turn around in front of him, and he would stick his face right up against my butt.
Recently I wore a mid-thigh length skirt with a tight long-sleeve shirt. It was modest, but much less so than my usual attire (which is heavy loose knits). I have a good figure (5'10", 34-22-32) so it looked more dramatic on my frame. I was hoping to sneak out of the house without him seeing me, but he did. He just said "Woooooow. That looks reeeeally good." and looked me up and down.
Is this normal behavior, and I'm blowing things out of proportion? Or am I right to feel uncomfortable?
The way you said it's pretty creepy. How old is he? Have you told your mother?
how old is he and how old are you? Sounds pretty fucking creepy to me.
>>17321719
He's 67. He does most of this in front of my mom, who says nothing. She has a few issues, and our relationship has been rocky, so I've been apprehensive about bringing it up with her.
/adv/, please enlighten me if at all possible:
How on Earth do you escalate social contact to sexual contact?
I've been with my first girlfriend for eight years, which was mostly initiated (and later terminated) by her. But now I've been single for almost six months in which time I'd not even kissed a girl.
Thing is, it's not like it's hard for me to make contact. I meet new people often and I've had a bunch of very fun, sometimes deep conversations.
Thing is is that I simply don't know how to escalate matters in a way that won't potentially sour her evening.
I'm deeply afraid of saying the wrong thing and being a harasser because of it, I don't want to hurt a girl's feelings or fill her with fear/disgust.
But by now I do kind of miss having sex, it's been a while.
You mean like a quickie with a random stranger or a lasting relationship?
>>17321723
Either/or really.
But mostly the casual sex, I'm not ready to jump into another near-decade relationship right now, plus, I'd like to just live life a little while before getting back into that game.
>I'd like to just live life a little while before getting back into that game.
Why do you assume living life = sleeping with random whores?
I need advice, i don't know what to do. met this girl a year ago, instant best friends, we talked every day, told eachother private shit, and helped eachother. I always had feelings for her but I could tell she never had any back. Eventually she met this one bitch, we can call her slut. slut turns my best friend into a slut, best friend talks to her a lot more, feel us growing distant. We get into a fight (happens a lot) and ignore eachother for months. she texts me again and we talk again. Fight again and no longer talk, she hits me up and we talk again. I decide to finally break it off. Shes cool with it, says she respects my choice, mostly did it because she had a boyfriend at the time and i was pretty jealous like an ass, but she also changed into someone i don't like being around. after a while we talk a little, nothing serious. I want to talk to her again. My heart is telling me to talk, my brain is saying to not. Please help.
Go with brain. Heart is a spoiled brat with short attention span, he'll soon forget it.
Don't talk to her, write this girl out of your life. She doesn't want a relationship you do, you will never be on the same page. Don't be held hostage in a toxic friendship with someone who obviously doesn't mind leaving you hanging until she needs something
>>17321760
Yeah....thing is, it sucks when its hard to tell if someone really cares for you. She's been worried about me when i'm down so i'm not sure.
How do I learn piano? I'm 23 years old and have very limited music experience. Does anyone have any resources they can share? I can't really afford a teacher right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Hj9v6pwTf8
>>17321672
Thanks. More.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZr5k1_9Dds
Why do people hate cops? Are they not a necessary evil? It seems like the majority of the reason people hate them are cherry picked events and/or one sided examples.
>>17321632
>cops
>necessary evil
Explain how cops are "evil" to me please.
I don't hate cops. The people who hate cops tend to be the ones breaking the law.
I'm not American though, btw.
When I was 17 I was riding my bike in my generally sleepy suburban area and I ran a stop sign. a cop blared down the street, yelled at me to stop and told me to give him ID, when I said I didn't have my wallet on me he insinuated I was lying and threatened to search me. Then he took down my info and printed me out a fucking warning ticket.
How much of a dickhead do you have to be to act that way to a teenager. man fuck that asshole. ruined the police for me.
>be 20 something me
>go out to raves, electro-themed parties, etc.
>never ever been to a "club" with blasting rap music and club sloots
>go tonight
>see big booty hawt girls everywhere in skin tight club slut dresses and hoop earrings looking trashy as fuck- all of them
>realize this is going to be someone's mother one day
>lose all desire to party
>take an uber home, fetal position, and question the validity of my existence.
What the fuck? How do people enjoy the club scene? How can you look at a woman grinding her butt on your crotch and respect her as a human being? Might as well take some PCP and just go on a dicking spree because that's all clubs might as well be... where's the humanity? Where's the empathy?
There is none. The club is a place where people go to pretend. To forget about something.
People are not authentic there. Alcohol, loud music and party is an excuse to have a causal sex encounter.
>>17321622
why not just cut the chase and go for the sexual encounter? There's tinder now...
>>17321625
They do both
Hey /adv/ I was just recently hired as an instructor for a small web design class. I haven't met the class yet, I start Wednesday, but I've just been anxious cause I feel like they won't like me / pay attention / give a shit etc... Any words od encouragement /adv/?
I have been a high school English teacher for four years. Although I do think that high school and college are very different beasts, I will try to give you some advice based on my experiences.
>Being liked
I used to worry about this my first year, but since then I've gotten over it. Your students will invariably like you if you are: Fair, respectful, well prepared, knowledgeable, answer questions, and keep lines of communication open. As a teacher I try to be myself and connect with the students, but I know that the most important thing is that they respect me. I always come in well prepared, I update the gradebook every week, I believe my lesson is important every single day, and the students respond well to it.
>paying attention/giving a shit
This is where college gets the leg up, they are paying to be there! They wouldn't be in your class if they didn't have an interest in the topic or think that it was important to them. While some gen ed classes are probably about getting through it, web design doesn't seem like general education. You have a group that is interested in what you teach, you'll be fine. Constrastly, most of my students don't love English; it's my job to try to keep them interested,
My final spiel: You are the expert on this topic, the students want to learn from you! Bring passion and energy with you every day and you'll be a smashing success. Also realize your first year is a learning year for you too, some lessons wont work, your timetable will be off sometimes, that's okay! Literally every teacher learns a tone from year one to year two.
Good luck, you'll do awesome!
>>17321652
thanks man, that helped me out
>>17321652
Just came here to second this.
You are not teaching high school loosers. This is college. They paid good money to be there and they know it. If they don't feel like paying attention they won't even show up.
They size me up, look at me, stare at me, talk to me etc. When I shave I get none of that. Yet online I see nothing but shaven men being praised, wtf??
Not sure man. I get dirty looks for my beard though. Mine is like 5 inches long though.
If a woman says to you, in private, that she doesn't like YOUR beard, then it may be true. If she says she doesn't like something while being around people who also don't like that something, she's doing it to fit in, be it true or not.
some guys look better with beards but actual handsome guys with nice jawlines look better with out
I was followed tonight. It was 1:30 AM and I was walking home from a friends house when a perverted looking man cat called me and then proceeded to follow me after I ignored him. My street is kind of quiet and when I turned around to make sure he wasn't following me, I realized he was following me. I stopped I turned around and called out, "are you following me??" and he just stood there watching me and not moving. I started crossing the street and looking for any cars but there wasn't any and it was me and him alone in the street and I didn't know what to do. He started following me across the street when THANKFULLY some guy came outside of his house to smoke a BLESSED cigarette and scared off the attacker. I yelled I was going to call the police and the cigarette guy walked me home.
What the fuck can I do if this ever happens to me again??? I'm a 5`4 girl that is pretty small boned. I work really early mornings so I'm in the street at scary hours. Please help give me advice!
Carry pepper spay with you. In your purse, in your pocket. Or a taser.
buy a car
1. Improve your self-control
2. Get a gun and practice
If you can't do that at least get a peppers spray
The only reason I want to do stuff is to impress other people. Having a hobby, dressing well, even sex. If I didn't have the motivation of impressing people, I'd just sit around and jerk off all day and browse the Internet. Does everyone feel this way? If not, is it something you're born with? Can one learn to be passionate about something?
I get you. Sometimes when listening to music I think "If this girl knew I like this band, she'd like me" Or I just start listening to some other bands just because I want other people to think I'm cool.
Or sometimes I post where I am with my friends, or something on facebook just to get likes from certain people.
I try not to do that anymore.
Is there something other people do that impress you?
>>17321604
Have their lives together, oh and doing things because they enjoy them and not caring what anyone else thinks. Their coolness just seems effortless.
Hello everyone, I just need to get this out of my chest.
I'm taking japanese lessons every week on saturday. I chose japanese because german classes were full (at least that is what I tell myself), japanese classes were cheaper and closer to home. Aaaaaaand, I wanted to meet girls.
I did get to meet some, but most had boyfriends, too young or just unattractive.
Someone added me to a facebook group, because I was my classes' representative for a festival we had. Browsing the members, I found a really pretty girl, and I realised that she was the teacher that uses the class room before my class. I hadn't noticed how pretty she was.
One day I gathered some courage, and entered a classroom she was in. I told her that I found her very pretty and interesting and that I wanted to go out with her. She seemed a little surprised, maybe because most guys don't plainly say such a thing. She told me she had to think about it because between the classes and her job she did not have time for dates.
I asked her for her phone number and she gave it to me, and her full name. Cool
I did send her some texts but she never replied. I tried calling her but she never picked up.
I should have given up at that point. I friended her on facebook and within 30 min she accepted my request.
I sent her some pm s, but she replied with short answers. I told her again that I wanted to go out with her, but she told me she has had bad experiences with "blind dates" (she means with people she bearly knows), and that she would like to chat on facebook or text more before going out. Ok, cool, whatever.
I did not talk to her for like, 3 or 4 months. One day I saw a new profile pic, and I felt the urge to send her a message. But I hesitated. Then I said YOLO and sent it. She replied within a minute and we talked for 2 hours. That was a month ago and I haven't talked to her since.
I wanted to get that story out of my chest. Please, if you have advise or just want to share a similar story, go ahead.
Also, I found her twitter account. She seems like a girl who doesn't go out a lot and kind of inexperience in the relationship field, like me.
>>17321588
You did good op, you tried. And there is even a small chance you'll succeed.
>>17321621
Thanks for replying, I like getting feedback and someone else's perspective
So /adv/ I have been high for about 2 weeks straight.
I bought a THC vape thing and have just been going at it. My life is boring, I'm a college student on break, can't find a job but have actively tried to, I just ain't having it.
Being high is a lot more enjoyable than being sober. No contest.
However, I haven't smoked for about 2 days tho
>tired as fuck, slept 17 hours today
>no appetite
>do stupid shit like put car keys in pocket, immediately start to look for car keys
>no desire to leave bed
>have no desire to keep doing the hobbies I used to do daily
How long do these things continue for? I take Anxiety meds, is it possible the THC doesn't mix well with the meds?
>>17321563
It's just an effect of smoking, the major side effects wear off after a couple weeks; but the short-term memory loss and lack of desire to do anything persists for longer. I haven't been able to stop smoking for longer than a month so I can't say much more than that from my experience.
>>17321578
Well shit, then this isn't worth it. I made music and learned languages for fun but now I don't even have a desire to get out of bed.
Fuck this bullshit, might as well switch to shrooms or something. I haven't tried anything else, any recommendations?
>>17321582
shrooms are fine every once in a while; I wouldn't treat them like weed. If you're using shrooms for the first time, find a friend who has used them before to watch you and see how you are. You could potentially get in some fucked up situations otherwise. Chances are your dealer knows where to get some, they aren't terribly hard to find.
i appear to have made a mistake, and my question is whether or not i should attempt to resolve said mistake. here's the current dialogue:
op: heyyy
friend: hey james!
op: what's going on nicoleeee
friend: just finishing up at work, you?
friend: i haven't talked to you in ages!!
op: enjoying the long weekend off. let's do something next week.
my message has been read, and a day has passed without reply. should i just let it go, or attempt to continue?
Let it go.
If she had any remote desire to hang with you, it would be gone if you keep pursuing her to annoyance. Just keep moving forward.
>>17321551
sounds good. thanks
Ignore
Move on
Avoid spaghetti
My roommate and I want to get a pet but we don't know what kind. Any suggestions ?
>>17321507
Crocodile
Kitty cat
First you guys should decide how much maintenance and care your willing to put into a pet.
Around two years ago I dated this girl for about three months. It was a shit show. I was going through depression and stress from questioning my vocational and educational choices and wasn't really there for her at all. She liked me a lot, deep down I liked her, but it just didn't work. She ended things one night by saying I was horrible (true) and to never speak to her again.
I followed what she said and slowly forgot about her. Three weeks ago I was walking downtown with some friends and I saw her across the street. Even though it was a busy night, we definitely both saw each other and stared at each other for a few seconds before we went back to whatever we were doing at the time.
Last evening I sent her a text congratulating her; a painting of hers was in a local fancy gallery. She immediately responded half a second later with a very curt thank you and letting me know this wasn't the first time. We made small talk about her art and the conversation grew a lot warmer. Not once did she make it known communicating wasn't a good idea. I let her know her favorite band was on shuffle that afternoon and it made me think of her. She said it was very sweet.
Basically, I asked her if we could start talking again because I miss her. She asked why I was contacting her again (e.g. if I was horny and was trying to booty call) and asked for an explanation why I was so shitty back in 2014. I told her that it wasn't an excuse for my actions, jsut that I was having trouble and shouldn't have let it mistreat her like that.
Last thing she said last night was "I'll let you know" re: us talking again.
I'm a very assertive and headstrong person, waiting around for something isn't my strong suit but I would like her and I to be friends again. Do I just completely wait and not open communication again or in a week or so ask her to join me for a casual lunch?
Anyone?
Let a week pass and ask her for lunch. I she gives you a wishy-washy answer, then wait another week and ask her out again.
If she does the same thing, then forget about it.
Give her some time, it seems like she is still carrying some resentment. With that said I think it's totally appropriate and reasonable to message her in a week for lunch if she hasn't sentry you a text in the interim
