Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 208. page
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Please some one help me before I kill myself. I can't take me being such a massive failure anymore, I'm a disappoint to me, my parents and my friends. I'm 21, I have no experiences in anything, never worked, fucked up my school so I have no high school diploma and generally have nothing going for me. I'm the worlds laziest most procrastinating piece of shit in the world, I can never finish anything I start, I give up too easily, I have a list of things I should do that I've kept for the past 2 years. I have no motivation to do any of the things I want to do. I want to be better, I want to finish school, and get a job and play my guitar but either every time I try tool get the ball rolling I stop and I turn to eating and fapping to forget about my problems. I have been going to the gym for 2 years and I've only gotten fatter because I have no consistency in anything. I'm fat, and I'm to embarrassed to go outside anymore. I haven't talked to my friends in months. I just feel like ending it all, what do I do to break out of this cycle?
>>17320710
Join the army
>>17320715
Yeah probably this
>Tfw planning on joining the AF for like 4 years now but they are letting in metally ill traps now..
>>17320715
I tried but the army in my country require you to have a high school degree.
Am i a cuck for letting my wife be a bridesmaid in her friends wedding while i just watch
>>17320633
>Am I a cuck for letting my wife be a normal person doing normal things
No
>>17320633
Umm... err... no. Why would you be?
>>17320633
What do you think bridesmaids do?
For the past four years I've avoided relationships to work on myself and at beginning of the year I finally felt confident enough to put myself back out there. I ended up dating a girl for four months who emasculated and emotionally abused me just about every time we were together. I had no idea why I was with her but I ran with it. We broke up at the beginning of April, and ever since then I haven't been able to regain that confidence I had. I feel like so weak all the time and too emotionally fragile. It's made me completely help myself. Its gotten to the point where I think about suicide on a daily basis. I went to therapy for a few tries but the therapist sounded like a robot reading from a prompt and it just didn't help at all. For the past month I've been talking to this wonderful, beautiful girl who is certainly interested in me, but I no longer have the confidence or strength to make a move on her. The only time I feel good about myself is when I'm around her, which makes me think I shouldn't be around her at all and just figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I unfortunately don't have any friends to console in, as most of them have moved away or I am too afraid of appearing weak to them. What do I do? I feel like I'm caught in a hurricane of negativity.
pic not related, just a really good album
>>17320626
You should examine why you were so unconfident with yourself that you let yourself get abused like that man. I'm not saying the previous relationship was your fault, I'm just wondering why you didn't get out of it sooner which means you have some self-esteem issues. Pinpoint why. Is it your cock size? Your future prospects not looking good?
>>17320631
I'm not at all self-conscious about my looks or penis size (lol). In fact, my looks and vanity are probably one of the only things I'm confident about. I just feel like I'm too weird to be around people. I'm a very quiet person. I feel like since I'm a man I'm expected to just be confident, funny, and suave when I feel just the opposite all the time. I feel like as a person I'm just shit, even though I haven't done any wrong to anyone maybe since high school (8 years ago)
>>17320631
And my future is pretty bright as well. I just feel completely lonely and don't really have the confidence or strength to let anyone in my life
My aspiration is currently to become a (public) academic lecturer. Those who inspire students, the public and hold lectures around the world.
I am now at the end of my first year at university (if I pass my retakes). The year was terrible in terms of grades, barely passing.
I feel that has to do with numerous personal processes of growing up:
>persistence
>self-discipline
>efficiency
>time management
>self-discovery
>balance/mindfulness
I feel that I am still trying to catch-up and learn all these things.
Also my uni's focus in my field took me by surprise and is not my preference. Cutting-edge but not my thing.
My friends don't make it better.
>top 20% in year, go to gym 3x/week, gets THAT exchange
>now in 3rd year, top10 world university, 9.8/10 average, world leader in field as personal mentor
I attract over-achievers as friends.
When I talk to lecturer and read about famous figures, they all seem like over-achievers from a young age. They enter university and just go from scholarship to honours programme to super-grant. Of course failure is part of life (learned that in secondary school), but when they do so, the fail at a very high level.
>Univ. X- on scholarship -> Post-doc at Harvard/Oxbridge and didn't get THAT grant
>well shit.
Non seem to barely pass or fail at young age. They just over-achieve until they reach god-tier and fail against the best. Don't have self-doubt, no need to grow-up, already are 'perfect'.
When i entered uni, I had the goal to do my best and (over)achieve because i could study what I love. Now i'm barely surviving.
Seems like needing to grow up at university is a failure already.
>Why don't those 'winners' never seem to fail until they reach the top?
>No issues which prevent them from over-achieving anyway.
>Did I fuck up already? Bad first year, average end GPA, no top master, no top phD...need new goal?
>Have you had similar experiences?
>>17320543
>Did I fuck up already? Bad first year, average end GPA, no top master, no top phD...need new goal?
I'm going to be honest with you.
Your first year is generally pretty easy compared to how it's going to get, and if you're struggling now, it doesn't bode well for the future. To become a lecturer, depending on the field, you'll need a Masters or PhD, and you won't even get into those programs, let alone finish them, if you're barely passing.
It's good to have a goal, but don't make that your only option.
>>17320556
Thanks for your advice.
I get your point. In academia, success builds on success.
I have also heard from other students that the second year is even more specialised (more of that not-really-my-thing stuff).
That being said (just to clarify) I am not a US student and don't go though that college/general-edu phase. It is major all the way.
>I wouldn't know how to 'fix it'.
>Does this mean that if you as soon as you stumble and don't instantly over compensate in academia, you are fucked for good?
>>17320599
What's your major? Do you think perhaps you've selected something that's not your strength? How have you been academically so far, through high school and whatnot?
>Does this mean that if you as soon as you stumble and don't instantly over compensate in academia, you are fucked for good?
Not necessarily. Like my questions above suggest, perhaps you're just not studying something that you're good at. Are you aware that you have to constantly be churning out quality research to keep your post as a lecturer too?
Also have you explored other options you could do with your major, rather that just lecture? Also keep in mind that extracurriculars can be helpful
I thoguht high school was were you discover yourself or whatever but I discovered shit I never wanted to. Turns out I can't really get aroused by girls my age. After doing some volunteer work at the elementary school I now know what turns me on; little girls. Im very aware of how gross and shitty that is , but it's the truth. Should I give up and just follow the attractions I feel?
reading hentai is legal
fucking children isn't
find a tiny looking 18 year old or get a child-like sex doll
>>17320528
Find an Asian girl, they look very young for their age.
>>17320554
>find a tiny looking 18 year old
Don't know why pedos don't just do this.
>be 10 yo want a puppy, mum says no
>keep trying to make her say yes, I'd take even a focking poodle just wanted a dog
>bitchsaysno.mpeg
>FF 14 years
>anon remember when you said you wanted a dog? I bought one
>don't even have time to handle my own schedule now I have to deal with a dog?
>"I've picked the race, its name, the colours for his tags, toys, I've picked his veterinarian and everything else"
>"but he is your dog"
>wake up early, feed the dog, take him out to shit and piss, play with him a bit
>noon, feed the dog, play with him a bit
>night, feed the dog play with him a bit, meanwhile mom is on PC or watching some TV show
>dog craves for her attention, get pissed after literally 5 minutes
>"STOP BITING ME!" *slams door shut*
How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that? As far as I'm concern when you are planing to buy a pet you should talk with the person that is living with you to be sure that you can have a pet, you can't impose a pet on someone's household, I'm getting annoyed by that, no the dog, the fact that even though I treat him with kindness and affection he wants my mum's attention and she doesn't give a shit; sometimes he lays on his bed and - I might be wrong on this one - I see some tears on his eyes and it breaks my heart to see that.
Find the dog a better home.
Don't take it to a shelter or anything, take care of it til you find somewhere the dog can go.
>>17320541
Based on what I said, am I wrong on this one? I mean, I like him, I used to have more hobbies but I've given up on them to spend time with him, but yet it seems that he prefers to spend time with her, even if she cares about him for 5 minutes only
You have all the right to give the dog away to someone who actually wants it. You don't impose a damn pet on someone.
I just recently got diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 24, and life has been a stupid mess until now. I'm looking for a stupid simple meal plan so I can buy the groceries and cook the recipes. Emphasis on the simple.
>>17320497
probly be better if you go read /cook/ sticky
>>17320536
/ck/ here. I lol'd heartily
>>17320497
Proteins and Veggies.
Simple Nori Fish:
Add salt and pepper to fish, wrap in nori (seaweed), toss in oven @ 350 for 15mins.
Simple Meats:
Add oil to skilled, salt, pepper and garlic, toss in Pork/Steak/Chick and cook til done.
Spaghetti:
1lb Ground Beef, brown that shit up, drain. Toss in garlic, salt, pepper, 1 can diced tomato, 1 can tomato paste, sprinkle with fennel seed, and throw in some black sliced olives. Toss on top of pasta.
That'll get you started. Add a salad to each meal, or baked potato, whatever. Keep the ingredients simple when starting out and you can progress over time with your recipes.
Here goes nothing.
I'm a genuinely autistic 21 year old NEET living at home with my mom and girlfriend of 3 years, both of which I love dearly. I've been depressed most of life, and in some respects it's getting worse.
My only hobby is lifting weights. Without exception, every day is a struggle. I cry often, sometimes without even knowing why. I wake up in the morning wishing I hadn't. Boredom is a torturous itch I cannot scratch. These past few months, I've cheated on my girlfriend more times than I can count, and I don't even like sex. Maybe it's the OCD?
I'm sad, and I guess part of me wants it known, for whatever reason.
Pls no bully
I neglected to mention I'm "addicted" to porn and masturbation, for lack of a better word.
>>17320463
>21 year old NEET
Find something meaningful in your life. Pursue a trade, earn a degree in a field you may enjoy. You're literally in the worst position, you have a GF who has as much drive as you (none), so you're more inclined to stick with your rigid-ass routine.
If you're with someone and you're cheating on them, you should just go ahead and let them move on with their life.
Scrub your drive of porn, it's not an addiction, it's just a fucking habit. Habit's are easily modifiable and taking roughly 6 weeks to fully embed into oneself.
>>17320512
Do you want a rebuttal?
>manlet
>haven't had a girlfriend in years
>closer to 30 than 20
>seeing other friends marry and have kids
>no success internet dating
What do I do beyond give up?
>>17320460
Is internet dating the only way you attempt to meet women?
>>17320460
>>17320471
Yes.
>>17320475
I mean, that's what I've been doing for years but cash isn't making me that much happier.
Is first cousins once removed (aka first cousin's kid) considered "too genetically" similar that it is not worth risking the chance of mutated kids? Because I don't mind marrying and having kids with her if it isn't the case since we have a lot in common
> she dresses in girl versions of clothes that I wear
> she is qt even without makeup
> she thinks out loud just like me
Also
> she is similar age as me
> we both have different last names so outsiders and possible kids we may have won't question too much about it
Though all that said if it isn't a problem our family may not understand it so we may have to marry in secret
>>17320447
>we may have to marry in secret
What, and keep it from them for the rest of your lives or something?
It's not a big deal if it happens once, it only becomes an issue when it's a societal norm. Yeah you have higher risks for lots of deformations but in most cases that would look like a .3% going to .6% so hardly something to throw away a life over if this is really what you want.
Having said that your reasons sound fairly... pragmatic, more than completely sold on spending your life with this person. Surely you can find someone else who you find cute without make up and who shares similar habits with you. If anything I wouldn't worry about birth defects but about how your kids will feel once they find out that their parents are related - there is a stigma and because of the long term dangers, incest disgusts a lot of people.
Have you heard of anal sex?
Mkay people,
serious /adv/ needed here.
Used to come to this site pretty regularly when I was much younger.
In 2008 I was sort of living out of a backpack for a while. I used to have this zen mp3 player with an SD card slot. That was my primary electronic device, since my laptop was with my parents.
Every time I was on my laptop I would browse /b/, and being 19, downloading a bunch of retarded pictures. Weird shit I thought was funny, hot or plain weird enough to be saved.
Those pics ended up on the sd card.
Now, 8 years later that SD card was still flying around my place.
This week my girlfriend went on a short trip with her Mom (who loves to take and edit holiday photos) and sent me a text today saying:
"I think I took your SD card, it's way too small and I can't see the pictures on it."
I don't remember exactly what I had on that SD card, probably porn, weird hentai, weird gifs, I don't fucking know, I was 19. Picture all the shit you've seen on this site, you feel kind of guilty about and you don't want anyone to know you've looked at.
So there it is. That's my problem. What the fuck do I do?
Thought about buying a ticket and 'surprising' her. Then finding an excuse to swap cards.
Thought about denying it's my card. It's a friends card, no idea what's on it, forgot about it long ago.
Thought about saying it's really personal stuff and I would appreciate it if she didn't try to look at it.
And last but not least, don't do anything, let her mom find that shit on the card when they get home, or let my girlfriend find the shit when she's randomly checking it on somebody's laptop or some shit and then brace for the shitstorm that will, no doubt end in her leaving.
Fuck guys. Feels pretty bad to fuck up like this.
Think of all the vintage memes on that thing. TOUCHDOWN THURMAN THOMAS
>>17320425
>Ew anon Wtf is all this?
>Shit from /b/ that I liked when i was a teenager
>Oh lol
>>17320448
Worth saving for sure. More curious about the porn though.
I remember beastiality used to big back in the day.
Girlfriend is always late. To everything. Any way to get her to stop? Is this something you just have to learn to accept?
You're gonna have to accept it. People can't change fundamentals like that.
or do an inception
put her somehow in a situation that will cause her to start feeling bad about this habit and she will make a decision to stop
but she has to think it's her decision
hard, almost impossible, done it once or twice in my life, you have to use everything you know about her, like make her miss something she really loves and after that be nice at her or something i dunno, use the manipulative part of your brain
>>17320417
Is she Mexican?
Here's the situation /adv/. I'm 30 and I have a cute little sister of 10 thanks to my dad having a second wife.
She idolizes me and everytime I visit them she jumps in my arms and try to spend every second possible with me. It's great.
Problem is, my dad is divorcing again. While I don't give a fuck about the divorce itself, I'm worried about her.
She hasn't reacted at all except saying her other siblings are sad and she won't talk or even name it. I think it's pretty much normal so early and at her age but she's also trying to reach me even more, sending me texts everyday, yet when I have her on the phone or skype, she doesn't know what to say or talk about.
I was supposed to pick her up and keep her a week or so during the summer vacations, so we can go to disneyland and stuff but now with the divorce, it's complicated to ask her mom to part with one of her kids with the divorce not even resolved.
What should I do ? Should I insist taking her with me ? Should I talk with her about the divorce ? Should I stay away for the moment ? Please no sex jokes.
>>17320415
Fucking kids can text at 10? Shit is getting confusing now a days.
Why is it complicated to ask her mom, you're her half brother.
>>17320421
She doesn't have her own phone (for now) but she has a tablet and internet connection and her parents apparently don't realise it does the same things
How do you accept you'll never be happy, successful or have meaningful relationships with people? I just want to numb myself to everything.
Trying to change that
You can change your stars, William.
>>17320411
Get a relationship with animals. Have a relationship with your body and get sucked off by nature.
>>17320411
>How do you accept you'll never be happy, successful or have meaningful relationships with people?
The first and third are extremely difficult if you've got certain mental or physical conditions, but success is achievable for everyone. You just have to figure out a reasonable standard, and then go reach it.
I think I fucked up somehow but I have no idea how or why. What the fuck is the deal with women?
>match with girl on tinder
>she messages me first with kissy face emojis
>gives me her number and kikebook etc.
>ask her out on date, she says yes, date set up for next weekend
>is out of town for a week so I have to wait until then
>start texting a bit, she says she wants to go get drunk/stoned together and hang out in her room
>she tells me she thinks I'm very attractive and good looking
>she asks me to tell her more about myself, anything
>i list a couple random facts because i dont know what to say like where i work/study, hobbies (pretty similar to hers), that i'm kind of an introverted person, ask her to tell me some stuff about her
>she hasn't replied in 2 days
I honestly don't get it. What the fuck could I have possibly done wrong? Is it because I said I'm an introvert? Should I have said something sexual? Am I overreacting? I'm at a fucking loss. She was practically throwing herself at me earlier and if I can't close this one I'll probably never be able to close any girl and I also kind of genuinely like her. It's eating at my brain trying to figure this out.
You probably overshared, but that kind of question is hard to answer. She's basically saying "I will put no effort into this conversation. Impress me with your skills and prove you're worth this pussy"
It's basically a shit test. When a girl says 'tell me anything about you', you pick one, interesting and socially acceptable skill. If you just wanna hit it, "I've played violin/sax/other slightly unusual instrument" since I was 4 is a good lie to open up most girls. If you don't want to lie then you actually need to be interesting.
A good way to call a girl out on this is to say something along the lines of "I'm actually incredibly boring, I sit at home and knit sweaters for my seventeen cats". She'll laugh and you'll gain her approval without lying
Ps. Never say you're introverted. Girls measure a man's worth by the value of his peers. If you claim introversion, her perception of your value drops.
Stop being an autist and caring about texting. You have a date set. Talk in person.
>>17320438
I think I did. What I said was I play soccer/track and work out a lot, I'm into politics/history/making a difference because she's big into libcuck feminist crap, I play guitar and piano, and I'm kind of an introvert. I do have friends I'm just a quiet person in general.
Well so is it still salvageable? Maybe I didn't say the right thing but I don't see how it could've been a deal breaker.
>>17320439
That date is days away and she's out of town for the 4th of july right now so I have to somehow keep her interest. If she were here rn I would've already smashed probably. I'm better in person than through text.
