Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1857. page
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I just found out my gf has ASPD (she's a "sociopath")
>meet girl
>she seems perfect, we hit it off immediately
>she likes all the same things as me
>she's always supportive and caring
>start dating
>slowly over the last year of my life things change
>sometimes she says or does little things that are hurtful
>takes random stabs at my self esteem like calling me fat (I'm actually underweight according to BMI)
>notice she starts being really manipulative, seems to enjoy playing head games
>find out she's been hiding a bunch of shit from me
>she did hard drugs WHILE in my house and hid it (I was asleep)
>she's been talking to other men, developing "friendships" with people as young as 16 and old as 50 (she's 22)
>confront her
>she says the men were just friends and she only hid the drugs because she thought I'd get mad
>blames her drug use and acting out on mental illness, says she's bipolar and can't control herself
Today her estranged sister messaged me telling me that my gf never had bipolar, she's actually a psychopath.
Based on some things I've noticed about my gf I believe her sister.
I'm heartbroken and I don't really know where to begin piecing my life together. The relationship was 2 years total, the last year being when things started really getting out of hand.
Any advice?
>>16636384
What if those labels are bullshit, and she just chooses to have a really shitty attitude? Psychology seems to busy labelling instead of fixing. Ofc if she, she will need to see there's something wrong with her behavior. She'll only change if she suffers consequences, because right now, why would she change?
Not necessariy antisocial personality disorder. Sounds like "cluster b" though, perhaps narcissistic or borderline. The difference can be hard to tell outside of careful clinical interviewing by a professional. The difference doesn't matter to you.
You know what matters? She'll ruin your shit and you gotta turn and run. First chance you get. I know that you love her and that at least part of you thinks that you might be able to make it work, but that ain't gonna happen man. Trained, lifelong professionals don't even get close to a 60-80% cure rate with these individuals with all the benefits of hospitalization, drugs, etc etc. It's not your responsibility and it never can be. Turn and run whenever you can.
I didn't listen when they told me the same thing, but I know better now. God knows I wasn't strong enough to leave on my own. I took the opportunity when she dumped me during one of her tantrums. Good luck.
>>16636398
>Psychology seems to busy labelling instead of fixing
Fucking this. They give you a test and that's it. She could have bullshitted, been in a different frame of mind, etc.
And I'm of the belief that there's no such thing as a "sociopath".
I'm 25, I have wanted a cute girlfriend my entire life. I went to the gym, I have a really nice job.
I sort of am talking to one or two girls. but I just don't care anymore, I don't feel like I can love anyone anymore.
What's even the point anymore? There is no thrill in life.
I have honestly been sitting on my bed all day writing hate speeches on /pol/, and I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. I feel nihilistic, nothing seems exciting.
TL;DR; I lost my motivation to do things in life. and I don't know how to cope or what to do.
>>16636346
I should mention, that it's not even about girls anymore. I just lost my motivation to do anything in life. I honestly feel sad, but I don't know how to describe it.
>>16636346
What do you do and what do you make?
What's your bench?
Height/weight?
>>16636358
I am a chemical engineer. I work for an oil company right now.
I bench 120
I'm 6 ft 0, 190 lbs.
I don't understand why being a NEET is a dealbreaker for women.
Unless of course, the woman is a greedy, shallow whore who only cares about money and status...
NEETs are out of shaps bums with no ambition in life who watch anime all day.
Oh yes women should totally be running to date you.
>>16636287
Women can have and still easily get dates:
>zero aspirations
>a shit job
>no money
>no car
>live with parents
>no higher education or plans to get a degree
A guy with those same qualifications won't even be given the time of day by women.
>>16636309
Not if they are uggo.
My boss is a 40-year-old frat boy. I work for a tutoring business, and my boss is a pot-smoking moron who doesn't know how to stop talking. His personality is annoying as hell, and I hate having to be around him for long periods of time.
What got me (aside from numerous other experiences) is today I was sitting doing some work with my friend and his girlfriend. I made some innocuous joke like "dude, you're retarded", then his girlfriend piped up "who are you talking to?" and I joked "Him, you're just kinda retarded". Context: I've known this girl for four years, we usually joke around like this and it's fine. My boss goes: "and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend. I know why you're single, actually me and Anon (my best friend) know why you're single. Apparently all my work to teach you charm has failed."
And he keeps going on and on and it really pisses me off. I admit I have a pretty strong personality and my vibe doesn't turn on girls, but I'm okay with that because I'm really focused on my career. But I hate it when people try to make a show of "haha you're single", and my boss is just a cunt in general.
Am I overreacting? How do I deal with this idiot and not want to shoot myself in a few months?
If you can't take a burn from left field then your portrayal of joke/diss affection banter shouldn't have entered the workplace. Your boss is gonna call you a baby if you cry about it. You brought this upon yourself and you know how you have to get out by playing back.
>>16636295
I can take banter, but he's just downright insulting sometimes and it pisses me off. Another example:
I'm tutoring a group of students trying to get them situated, and he butts in continuing some earlier conversation we just had about personality differences. In front of the whole group he goes "You just don't really have an approachable personality. Actually you're not that intimidating either."
He then proceeds to question the entire group (wasting time, btw) to see if they thought I was approachable. None of them answered because they thought it was rude, and I was pissed so I kept helping the students with their work. His "banter" is just petty, mean comments. And most of the time it's only me and him or another co-worker doing anything, so it isn't as if I make a scene every time I'm in there.
>>16636266
>"haha you're single"
This is not what has upset you.
>my boss is just a cunt
This is what has upset you.
>and you wonder why you don't have a girlfriend.
Belittling you in every way possible. Calling you unattractive, immature, stupid, and basically accusing you of trying AND failing to hit on girls.
>I know why you're single, actually me and Anon (my best friend) know why you're single.
He's trying to single you out by including your friend on his side, essentially saying "yeah, these guys agree with me, so don't tell me I'm wrong."
>Apparently all my work to teach you charm has failed.
He's claiming he's smarter than you, and he's expressing disappointment. It's very insulting. He's also saying that you have no charm whatsoever, and implies heavily that this is in spite of a long time of practice.
In doing all of this he implies that you have do actually care about charming girls and put as much time into it as he thinks of himself. He's trying to make himself look better than you even at a subject that has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's projecting his priorities and interests onto you to help himself to think he's good.
It wasn't funny and he didn't provide any credible reasons. Any response other than laughter would be counted by him as "you getting defensive," which is probably just as untrue as the original joke but in his mind it just makes him more credible. He's not really presenting much of an argument but he's right just because he says so, and you aren't allowed to disagree. It's smug and it's really not clever, it just makes an ass out of everybody. You're right to be annoyed but there's no responding to something like this, he'll use any response as evidence for his claims because he never had any to begin with.
He's an asshole with a fragile ego.
I met a few relatives who I haven't met throughout my life last week and holy shit, that family is unbearable, but the person who I mostly dislike from the batch is my oldest cousin.
>is 29
>has two kids, 11 and 6
>is bitter and talks shit about everyone behind their backs
>screeches at her kids
>never takes care of them and leaves the care to my two younger teenage cousins
>I witnessed my 6 year old nephew being violently spanked upstairs for only wanting my affection and was forced to go back downstairs while he feels humiliated
>unfortunately my two nephews are spoiled and are feeding on my cousin's conduct
>uses FaceTime, snapchat, and texts while driving
>whenever we passed by a police station, jail, or a police car, she made her kids hide and cover
>it turns out because they aren't supposed to be seen around her for god knows what reason it is.
>my teenage cousins are obviously also fed up with her bullshit
>she recently passed by a camera streetlight and flashed photos of her
>she's obsessed with going to the club to party and drink
>she thinks that I'm antisocial because I don't go partying in clubs
>had the capacity to ask me how old I was (I'm 22 btw, so we have a 7 year difference)
>>16636224
Cont...
>she clubs frequently and posts about it on Facebook
>she sugar-coats everything on Facebook
>posts way too many selfies like an immature brat
>constantly dates way too much
>while my grand aunt is the one taking care of my nephews
>moans about bad drivers and calls them assholes
>acts like an immature teenage brat around my cousins
>today she has been stopped by police when the family was on their way back to their state because she's been speeding on traffic
>it turns out that she's driving under a suspended license while her kids are unnoticed by police because they're hiding under covers.
>she starts up a crying fest so police can believe her story that my grand uncle is sick
>she isn't supposed to be driving at all
>mfw she drove us somewhere this week.
Like seriously, I wanted to call out on this two-faced bitch for her bullshit. Hell, I even wanted to report her to child protective services
Have any of you guys encountered some relative as trashy as she is? If yes then what do you do to deal with them?
>>16636226
What's even sad that my other teenage cousin called her out on her bullshit and she just fucking had the capacity to laugh as she wasn't butthurt.
When my mom lectured her about not using violence as a way to lecture her kids, and she rolled her eyes that whole fucking time.
She fucking rustled my jimmies that my she acted trashy around my cousins.
Ok. Good story.
Would you get mad if your partner didn't gave you anything for christmas?
I've been with my GF for almost 6 months, and she went to a 2 week trip outside the country before christmas. So, a day before she went, I went to her house, spent some time with her, and give her christmas present.
I really had a hard time looking for something, and getting the money for it, since I can't work thanks to my age.
She didn't saw it or anything, said thanks and that was it. Hours later, before she went to the airport she came to my house, and gave me a short letter and a little stuffed animal toy.
She wrote "I didn't wanted to say this but you really blew my mind with your present". So she made the letters and got the toy after seeing my present, not before.
I really liked the letters, even if they were made in a rush or becuase she felt compromised. A friend told me that "it's not really fair", maybe she didn't had money, or maybe i'm trying too hard and should give less stuff like that?
What do you think?
>>16636204
I think she gave some effort to you. It should be appreciated.
I think the concept of gifting for the sake of it being christmas or holidays is a joke, and people who think that way should re-evaluate their situation.
You should gift because you WANT to, when you want to, not because a day says you should, she probably felt the same way, and after recieving something, felt she should return the favour y'know?
The time spent together should be more valuable than any material you can give each other.
I mean i'm incredibly depressed and pessimistic, so take my words with a grain of salt, but holidays are just a way of making people spend more. People are bound to be a lot more surprised/happy to recieve something out of the bloom than on a 'special day'.
I guess the one thing exempt from that is anniversaries, since it's to signify the day you got together.
>>16636204
As long as you guys like each other, does getting a present really matter? Drop the materialism. I'don't rather a nice letter than some bought present.
Is a girl with a kid a good practice gf?
>>16636200
No. You're messing with their emotions and suppose the rascal gets attached to you?
Fucking no!!!
good pump and dump material, maybe FWB.
So my girlfriend of a year and a 1/2 broke up with me 2 months ago and I really fought to try and save the relationship. I had started talking to a new girl (who is wonderful)but my ex texted me saying she wants to get back together. She has already gone on a few dates with a guy and they have kissed and what not. Today she came over and it was very refreshing to talk to her. Ultimately I told her I already interested in someone else but I'm afraid I've just made a huge mistake. Also, sorry about lack of depth this is my first post ever on 4chan and I'm crying so I'm just trying to get this out there
Basically I'm asking if anyone has gone through a similar situation. And if I'm making the right choice
>>16636198
Bruh she's already gone on a few dates etc. THAT RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
>>16636198
She realized how hard it is to meet someone and came crawling back to you. This happens. She will do this again when she finds someone else she thinks is good for her.
Aight I promised myself I wouldn't post this but I don't care anymore.
I went to a new years party with old friends, and basically this girl I used to dig in high school I "dated" for a matter of months freshman year.
Took 180mg of mdma which was awesome, had a great time but as many of rollers know, mdma kills boners.
So basically she was giving me eyes most of the night and she's literally my only kiss etc, but desu senpai I've been over it for years. She was giving me eyes and towards the end of the night led me to a room and I was kissing her all over. Don't remember what was said exactly, as I was pretty high and into the moment and touching her body.
Basically I couldn't get it up and ended up eating her out a few times, again first time even so much as seeing a vagina irl and not in a pornog. But according to her words, which I don't know if I can trust, I was pretty fucking good at it and she kept complimenting me which I thought was pretty odd, but again, no experience.
Shit I didn't even care I didn't get off, it was pretty fun eating pussy and sucking on her tits.
However now I don't know what to do, I'm pretty sure it was a one night thing as I asked her to hang out the next day and she said she wasn't free, no reschedule or anything, so it seems like a wrap and not something I should burden my mind with anymore.
But also I'm a little tweaked because she kept telling me how "I'm her best partner" and I kept making her laugh, which is kind of my shtick I like making people laugh, just introverted as fuck. So now I'm thinking what the fuck was that just some in the moment shit?
I'm pretty sure I'm just an inexperienced incel reading way too much into a short fling, but anyone have any ideas?
Just relax.
It's a fact that people get kind of fucky around the holidays, so it might've been something like that, but there's no way for you to dig into that by sitting there and thinking hard.
You should simply signal to her that you're interested in smashing her gash on another occasion, and then what's going to happen will happen.
> Just play it cool
> She clearly likes you
> Don't smother her
> keep things casual and simple
> Exchange numbers and then don't call her, text her like 3-5 days later
> invite her to smoke a bowl or just chill with you and some of your friends
> Play it like you want to be just friends because you were good at eating her pussy she wont friendzone you
> Decent chance she might want to hang out just with you, then you are getting a BJ definitely
> Very good chance she will come hang out with you and your friends and then blow you when you happen to get some time alone
> If she wants to get exclusive or serious then let her bring it up.
> If she doesn't then just be fuck buddies, but give it a few months of being fuck buddies before bringing up something serious if that is something you want
This is pretty easy shit mang even for an introverted bro.
Consider it a one time thing and nothing else. If you coudldnt get it up in a passionate moment then that will kill any FWB or sex chance in the future.
Learn from your mistake and do drugs before a party you limp dick faggot.
My gilfriend is very sad and wants to kill herself because she loves me too much.
I love her too it's just i can't be with her all the time and i'm very sad because of that.
Is there anything i can do to chear her up. I don't understand why she is like that to be honest. ty for helping 4chan anons
>>16636063
Are you guys in middle school or is she damaged?
This doesn't bode well for you, but ultimately know that you aren't solely responsible for someones happiness.
you could try asking her
"is there something i can do to cheer you up?"
also, saying that she wants to kill herself because she loves you make no fucking sense
Just give her a bear hug rekt style.
Why do I have these like sores on my vagina? (Picture relevant)
>>16636054
Rzerbrn
>>16636054
That's razor burn. Shave with the grain, not against it. Also do not shave often. You're not going to achieve lasting smoothness and hairlessness with anything but waxing. You're shaving too frequently. Want zero hair? Wax. Otherwise keep your shaving routine down to once a week at most.
My guess would be from shaving. You must have fairly sensitive skin. If you shave without any kind of shaving cream, I suggest you start using some. Maybe use something afterward to soothe the skin. Witch hazel might help. Look up proper shaving techniques.
What are signs that someone is falling out of love with you, or that a relationship is failing?
>>16635954
life is diverse, so there isnt any tell tale signs other then things like them openly hating you, cheating on you etc.
relationships are constantly changing and evolving. when you first meet someone you might not touch them for a long time. then six months later you cant stop touching. then six months later you only cuddle at home. then six months later you onle cuddle some nights.
some people stay more cuddly, others dont. losing excitement and passion does not mean losing love.
>>16635954
>more time apart
>less calls/texts
>caring less about your feelings
>change in behavior
Are some.
Their face doesn't light up when they see you
What was before a minor issue you guys can talk about turns into a full blow arguement.
He/She doesn't laugh or smile anywhere near as much as when you two first started dating.
Sex isn't as frequent.
They want more alone time to get away from you.
I'm having gf issues /adv/. We've been dating a year almost and I've been on the fence about her but this one issue bugs me the most and I'm not sure if it can be resolved. Basically, her vagina smells really bad to me. When I first noticed I just thought, okay it's natural for vaginas to smell a bit or maybe she's on a bad day and I would just bite my lip go down on her. After a few months of just accepting it I finally had to hint at her that something seems off to me. Of course she was really embarrassed and it was a big thing but she agreed to keep it clean with products and seeing a doctor to make sure it's not an infection, which it's not. But even after that she would sometimes just not shower all day and expect me to go down on her and it was rank. Even directly after a shower, there's a bad odor when I go down on her. When we just have regular old sex and she gets more wet it turns into this sticky, slimy smelly mess that lingers in my room and makes my junk smell. I finally brought it up one last time and she was totally crushed and started to take offense. She really doesn't think it smells or is in some denial and thinks "it's not that bad." The thing is, with my ex, even if she was a dirty, I had no issues with it. It never smelled this bad or offensive to me.
So, I don't know what to fuckin do. I don't want to break up over something so petty but it's really bothersome. I say it smells and she thinks it's totally fine. She's going to try to change her diet and be mindful but I'm worried that's just how she is and I cannot stand it. What should I do?
I keep getting yeast infections all the dang time... Maybe because I just had a baby?
But they are really mild and odorless and it does not bother my bf at all but it makes me feel really embarassed.
I really dont know why I keep
Getting them either.
Could his penis be part of the problem? It goes really deep.
>>16635926
just tell her to stop wiping
the smell of ass will overpower the stench of pussy
pineapples, eat a lot of pineapples and drink more water
it very well may simply be her body chemistry though
I need to know if I got a STI or not. I got tested and looked at some of the results online and it said it was negative for syphilis and gonorrhea but it didnt say anything about blood results and I got an email from the doctor saying they need me to come in to talk about the results. They said that they would call me to talk about it but they didn't.
Bump pls help.
>>16635909
It's an STD, and you probably have one. They're insisting on the diseases being called infections to make them seem less harmful, but in reality HIV/AIDS is a fucking disease, not some infection that can be treated with one dose of an antibiotic.
Hiv?
How do I get over my relatively short stature, /adv/? I've never measured my height, but I estimate it to be about 5'6" with shoes in. I'm 18-years-old and I don't know how I'm going to stand a chance in life in terms of being taken seriously and getting into the dating scene. I'd love to get into some position of power some day, but I don't see it happening at my height. Some might call that 'Napoleon syndrome', but whatever.
What can I do to get over my height insecurity, /adv/?
>>16635906
Ha! Im six foot and im a girl lol
sucks to be you
>>16635906
Do you have a big schlong?
>>16635932
b8
but in the end, op, you just really gotta not give a fuck. attitude is subjective. i've seen 5'5" players get more pussy then 6" kids at times. how often do you drink or smoke?
