Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1738. page
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Hello /adv/ I need your help. I'm a 22 years old bisexual male and have been diagnosed with hiv two months ago. I've done all the tests I've been requested and now I'm waiting for the results before starting treatment.
The problem is I don't know if I should tell my parents. I'm in college and live with my older brother in a city 400km far from them. They don't even know I'm bi. The only reason I woud tell them is because of hiv but I don't know if I should. I can get the medication on my own so I think is not necessary to tell them.
I welcome all kind of questions, opinions and advice.
>>16764875
how many people did u have sex with?
Tell your parents. They love you and they deserve to know.
>>16764877
Two women and five men. None since I was diagnosed.
girls of /adv/, do you ever go through this or is it just me?
>at our couple-friends house
>sitting around in front of fire drinking
>ash flies high up on my boyfriends jeans (mid thigh)
>the girl dating our friend touches my boyfriends leg to bat off the ash
or
>playing beer pong on new years with friends
>same girl is wearing a spaghetti strapped sundress
>walks up to my boyfriend
>turns around and holds up her hair
>and asks him to fix her bra strap
or
>sitting around playing drinking games
>periodically go through stints of my boyfriend going back and forth with quips and jabs with this girl
>while they both ignore their respective significant others
>who just sit there watching them joke around with each other
>in silence
>waiting for them to remember they aren't fucking each other
...am I being ridiculous or..
>>16764034
if you're saying that he ignores you when he is with this girl, then its a red flag, its looks like they're low key flirting with each other and you should keep an eye on him if he becomes more intimate with her.
if you're with bf for less than 3-4 months, just give up and break up.
if you're with bf longer than that, tell him that you mind him acting like that around girls who act like that
So, she prevented him from being set on fire, asked for a hand with an uncomfortable clothing issue, and converses on friendly terms in public.
...Yes, if that's all you have, you are being ridiculous.
I am a 19 year old 6'1 165lbs white cis male with a 7 inch penor, how do I get a girlfriend?
>>16764017
Do you have any preferences?
>>16764017
I talk to girls
>white cis male
Stop saying that like it mattered outside Seattle.
>Married guy here
>went on a date with someone else yesterday.
So wife is the type that internalizes everyone elses grief to herself. Not in a selfish way; more of an empathetic way but it really affects her. Shes been very stressed lately, tho really she always dwells on stress and ruminates about bad things of the past and always has this constant negativity about her. Not outwardly, just always crying and complaining about it.
I got lots of shit happening in my life. It really went to shit career-wise and tho im normally super happy, the past 8 months have been the most stressful and depressing months of my life. I dont sleep much, im scared about my job situation, and so many plans and dreams are now either dead or unsure. Im in a really bad place right now.
Wife wants kids but shes so emotionally unstable and is already over stressed with no time that itd be a bad idea; let alone the genetic depression she has and the fact that shes 32 (i hear after about 30 the kid could be mad fuckt up).
continued in thread
cont.
I have full honesty with her mostly, tho ive learned not to talk about things im worried about, stressed over, or what makes me upset.. cuz she'll just cry about it and get really weird. Its not her probs.. shes even internalized and got real upset over stuff that happened to people i know that she doesnt. So i just dont talk to her about stuff. She knows about my job stuff, but just not how bad its affecting me.
So i met a girl on an app and we met up. Real cute, 18 (too young for me really but w/e), and we went on a date. Nothing happened. We just walked and talked like friends. Held hands at some point, and she probably thought it was a date. She doesnt know im married but i really didnt want to talk about my wife the whole time; i wanted to talk about my personal things which is something i never get to do. I wanted to both be someone different for a day, and also finally be myself around someone.
Now i gotta handle what to do about this nice person who probably assumes it was a mutual date that might lead to something. Im way older than her, so iunno what shes expecting, and we dont really have anything in common but it was a great convo and shes probably not experienced enough to know that this isnt something to hold out for.
So what are you asking here?
Tell the girl you used her to vent, then tell your wife you cheated.
>>16763965
But he didn't fuck her?
if your version of cheating is eating food with a girl and talking to her, your an idiot.
Part 1
I met someone and he became my best friend (im female, his male) we spent most our spare time together having so many interests in common. i had a boyfriend who was always working and when he was home just wanted to be on his computer (we're both gamers) we hadnt spent much time together as he only wanted to play single player games and was irritated pretty much every time i spoke to him. i seen problems in our relationship and spoke to him about them and he basically shrugged them off. Dont get me wrong, ive never loved someone so much, everyday he told me im beautiful and he loves me and he is the most nicest guy you'll ever meet and avoids conflict. his idea of spending 'quality time' together was me sitting next to him while he plays a game on one screen and the other had a movie on it and we dont talk, if i do he sighs pauses the movie and his game and says "what?". we used to spend a lot more time together but his job is stressful and he always wanted his down time, or hanging out with his friends (once a week max) He encouraged me spending time with my new friend as he didnt share those interests and was glad not to hear about them so much. it was near a year after our friendship that i realized this person liked me, he started flirting and stupidly i was just glad for the attention and i went with it. one night just before my boyfriend got home my friend kissed me, i was gobsmacked and just went silent and pretended it didnt happen, greeted my boyfriend like normal then left to drive my friend home as there was no public transport, when i dropped him off he wanted to talk about it, i started panicking and couldnt believe it happened and hated myself for letting it happen, i got very depressed very quickly and didnt feel safe driving myself home as i kept thinking about driving into a wall. i called me boyfriend and he refused to come get me and sent his sister in law instead, her and i dont really speak so it was just silence all the way home.
>>16763859
Part2
i stupidly stayed friends with this guy, pretended we never kissed but eventually he started making advances again ( i am very attracted to my friend, things with my boyfriend in bed died down a lot due to his work stresses, i kept making an effort to spice things up but it always went back to >i suck him >he fucks me >he cums >i touch myself while he is hugging me and he often just falls asleep) i let him make advances and eventually i started making advances back, he wanted me not only for my body but for my mind and both of those turned me on. many months later when at his house we ended up sleeping together and that went on for months, pretending nothing was happening. i became very good at just shutting myself off from the other while i was with one, like a completely different life. i often stayed nights at my friends and wouldn't come back till late the next day. i was meant to be home by midday one time i stayed over to drive my boyfriend and work friends to the bar and my boyfriend spam called me (by this point my friend confessed his feelings for me and was extremely emotional, similar to a pregnant woman... he would get upset when my boyfriend would call and eventually i stopped answering to the phone to him to get my friend to stop being sooky) i did end up answering the phone, my boyfriend yelled at me and told me i was meant to be home, i wasnt due home for a few hours yet. i went home and be blew up at me about how im disrespecting him and i need to figure out what im doing.
>>16763866
Part 3
I get very emotional around my boyfriend (only person i get emotional about) i just kept crying and saying im sorry, he work friend arrived so he went to greet him, i sucked it up and played happy housewife, my boyfriend was a bit shocked by how quickly i calmed myself. i drove them to the bar, went to visit my friend, told him i liked him too, he got very jumpy and happy. I then went home, had a shower, ate dinner then took all the medication in the house, including a fair few sedatives all while being extremely calm, i called my friend and i dont remember what i spoke to him about because i soon passed out.
From what my boyfriend told me, he came home 5hrs after i overdosed checked on my and game me a bottle of water (i often get dehydrated and he said i looked a bit out of it, i have no memory of this) i apparently took the water and hugged it like a teddy. he went on his computer and came to bed 3hrs later and i was pale and cold, an ambulance was called and i woke up in icu, when my boyfriend arrived he was crying (ive never seen him even tear up) he wanted to know why and i told him while still heavily under the influence of sedation medication that i had feelings for my friend and still loved my boyfriend, he told me that i didnt need to kill myself and if i wanted to leave him for my friend thats okay, just dont hurt myself.
>>16763871
Part 4
i told him i only want to be with him (my boyfriend) and be happy, he later requested that i never speak to my friend again which i agreed with. i was in hospital for a few weeks under observation, my boyfriend came to visit me for 20-30mins each day after work. during this time i had been speaking to my eldest sister and she was positive that my friend had been manipulating me and spoke to me about it when i was in hospital, she convinced me he had and when he found out i overdosed and contacted me i blew up at him, pointed out all the little things he was doing to make me feel bad for rejecting him, so i just went with it (i now know this is 50/50 and i accept my actions for what they where) i tried to stay away from my friend and ended up only having online contact with him, he kept going on about how he loves me and a bunch of other cliche things, he was over emotional and he became suicidal, i often called him ambulances when he let on or threatened that he would hurt himself. that i know of now he got blind drunk everyday and burned his arm with cigarettes. my boyfriend did not know of this contact. my friend and i had a common place we would go where my boyfriend knew we might run into each other, but he was okay with only that. while there he continued to emotionally blackmail me to continue talking to him and one night when i got so worried about his state i went over there,
>want to move out
>don't want to go anywhere but Miami or la
How do I do that? I just want a normal life of working and paying rent and living with some friends. I don't want to waste my life in college or the military so don't even bother
Liquidate all your belongings and save a shit ton of money primarily. You need dollar doos to keep you afloat for ~ 3-6 months living expenses in the area you are moving in. Then just plane ticket(or drive) your ass over there and get a place and hit that job search hard as a mother fucker.
On a side note, both those cities are fucking shit. Do you live in flyover ville or something that makes you long for fancy cities?
>>16763757
I'm in mia and looking for roommates have you had a job do you have money?
>>16763762
Isn't rent there like impossible to afford because of how high it is?
Also I live in a small northern village and I'm moving for my career and I want to take college classes on the side maybe
>Very basic TLDR: She says she's not ready for a relationship, but we're -basically- in a relationship and I feel like we don't spend nearly enough time together.
So, she's said pretty much from the beginning that she's not ready to commit to a relationship again. We've been getting to know one another for the past year and growing very close. We're exclusive with one another, we kiss, we call each other "babe", and there's some sexual contact (mutual masturbation, manual, blow jobs, etc.). We've already met each other's family and best friends, and we're starting to try and invite one another to important events.
The problem, though, is that, given the relationship we do have, I feel like we need to spend way more time together. Now, don't get me wrong, I've been very patient, understanding, and respectful of any and all of her boundaries. I never have and never will try to pressure or force her to do anything that she's not ready for or doesn't want to do.
The amount of time we spend together and the amount of effort she puts into what we have is pretty off-putting though. We see each other maybe once, SOMETIMES twice a week. She's also pretty difficult to get ahold of via text or phone calls. And I'll note that this isn't just a problem with me -- Her friends and family always complain that she's impossible to reach and that her time management is awful. Naturally, though, you can't expect a relationship to function properly if there isn't enough time for communication and bonding.
What should I do? We're VERY compatible, and I do like her very much, but I'm simply not willing to be put on the back burner or otherwise blown off by someone when I think that they should prioritize me more. How do I tell her that I can't go on like this unless she allows me to have more presence in her life without seeming like I'm giving her an ultimatum? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Honestly the girl you're describing sounds a lot like one of my friends. My advice is talk to her, it's not pressuring her to talk about what you expect in a relationship.
No sex? Why?
>>16763625
>My advice is talk to her
You know, the funny thing is that we actually talk A LOT when we have time together. We've been extremely deliberate about taking things one step at a time, and being careful not to hurt each other. Not having enough time with each other has been something I've brought up in the past, but at the time, it wasn't like a deal breaking conversation. It was mostly just a "Hey, I want to spend more time with you" conversation. Now, the tone has to change to something more like "I can't keep doing this unless we can have more time together".
>it's not pressuring her to talk about what you expect in a relationship.
What do you mean by that exactly?
>>16763627
I don't think it's too relevant, but for what it's worth, I happen to be a traditional guy who wants to wait for marriage.
>inb4 every common response to this
So my best friend and room mate just told me she's moving out, signed on a house and leaving me three months of rent and utilities to handle. She's willing to help with some of the costs, but not the full amount that she would be paying if she finished out her lease. I can't afford 3 months by myself and I don't know anyone who needs a place for only three months. I'm a straight male anon, so sucking dick for a place to stay is out. Selling drugs isn't an option.
Honestly never saw this coming. Feel so used and discarded.
Wat do?
>>16763536
If her name is on the lease she has an obligation to pay for the full term. If her name isn't on the lease, well, then you're screwed.
Consider putting an ad on Craigslist. There's weirdos, but there's normal people too.
>>16763536
sorry, i've tried looking in my crystal ball, but for some reason it won't show me your fucking contract.
so why the fuck do you think it's acceptable to ask retarded questions without reading your fucking contract first ?
>>16763546
This - is she on it?
Social anxiety. But I decided I was okay to take a weight training class. Going back tomorrow and I'm so scared. It's all guys in the class and mtf me. Made a thread before but now I'm hoping someone can tell me it will be alright again. School is supposed to be a safe place, right? I'll be in a smallish room full of testosterone. We will have to interact with each other. I'm afraid a lot of them will feel weird around me and none of them will want to interact with me. Especially in front of the other men.
Tell me I can do this
>>16763317
You can do this anon
If you are a mtf that can't pass as an actual girl, in a male dominated class filled with testosterone, you're going to get teased, bullied, and ridiculed.
You better get some thick skin, fagboy, because if you don't, you're going to get your little EDM-music loving ass ran right out of there.
This ain't no lifetime movie where you're a martyr or a hero for going. Grow the fuck up and just do your workout.
>>16763333
Thank you. I really hope so. If I can manage this class I feel as though I'll be a better person.
>>16763337
Don't call me a fagboy. Do you think I'll actually be bullied? Bullying isn't supposed to happen at school. I'm really worried about the locker room too. Might not shower afterward or change or anything.
how could elliot rodger get a girlfriend?
By actually talking to girls. From what I've heard he expected women to take initiative, and never sought it out himself.
>>16762482
By remaining ignorant to reality. Instead, he saw the truth of the world and he couldn't handle it. It destroyed him. There will be more like elliot Rodger when other permavirgins realize their situation and act out on it.
>>16762482
Been white.
Look like its used with a needle or it might just be some magical potion idk. Found it in the attic the first time i went up there. What is it?
Drink it. If hulk mode ensues report back. Pls don't dye.
>>16762426
Idk it has fishes in it.
>>16762412
Maybe fluorescent dye injected into patients for imaging?
Why is it that people think I'm an asshole when I tell jokes? Like if I make a joke in a group of 10 people, only 3 will laugh, the rest look at me like I said I killed someone.
(No they are not racial/religious/otherwise not "PC" jokes)
>>16762325
Jailbird jokes are only understood by jailbirds. Trust me. I know what you're talking about.
>>16762325
give examples
i want a laugh
>>16762335
I'm not a criminal, sorry.
>>16762349
It's mostly situational/ironic humor.
Is joining the military the only way to become a man these days?
In every other walk of life, men are persecuted for being men (you're expected to accept having women bosses, despite the fact it is completely unnatural for women to try and be in charge of men)
Literally, it's like the world wants everyone to be a fucking fag these days
>>16762186
No, being a farmer makes you a man
You do realize you could end up with a woman for a boss in the military too, right?
>there are female army rangers, even
>gender-integrated boot camps
It's a shame the military is less sexist than you are.
>finish degree in finance with 3.7/4 GPA at top university
>Huge number of extracurricular activities
>President of Business faculty
>Did an internship at a hedge fund, offered me a full time gig when I finish my degree.
>2 weeks into full time work
>hate my life and want to kill myself
I loved finance at university, but I am so sick of working in the industry and its been 2 weeks. Is it wise to quit to pursuit happiness in studying for a PhD to teach? I feel like I'm not learning anything, getting dumber and feeling the dullness getting too much...
Is there anyone else who has experienced this straight after university? I really need some advice - Should I leave?
If you leave are you aware it will be very hard to find a new job?
>>16762160
I don't want a new job. I'll go back to studying.
>>16762175
> Ahhh, here we see the lifelong student in the wild. Watch as he hunts spare change from his couch to buy ramen, so that he may continue to live another day.
Hey /adv/, I have some girl problems here. I've recovered from a break up, but I'm fucking confused now. This girl and I haven't talked since, besides a few arguements and me trying to get her back a few days after she broke up with me. What should I do with her from now on?
>>16762098
whatever you feel is best
take this as a lesson: if she just wants you as a friend it means you aren't improving yourself
>>16762108
The circumstances here aren't normal for our break up. I've posted this story here a lot, but it pretty much goes that she broke up with me 2 days after she talked to her parents about her sexual assault from a cousin, I freak out and think that telling biological mom about what had happened(she had talked to her bio dad and step-mom) might somehow help her (dumbass move, I know), she then started to hate me and then we argued once 2 weeks ago, and then we haven't talked since. I have no idea what to do here with all this shit. I'm just an 18 year old high school senior.
>>16762139
I might as well add that after the fight, she said that maybe in a month that we could try being friends again. That's the part that gets to me.
