Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1730. page
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How do I cope with life's withering assault? I've been down on my luck lately. Only bad things happen to me and there's no way I can control it.
In the past couple of years I've been kicked out of my house, suspected of crimes I had nothing to do with, unable to find a job, went into debt to go to school when it never paid off, and in general have been drifting alienated through life. My friend of 8 years is suicidal and I am frankly don't have the reserves to care. I feel like he's dragging me down.
Worse, society sucks. It divides the complex human condition into a competition between winners and losers, as if there weren't systematic inequality and imbalance of opportunity and some people did nothing to deserve their disadvantages or advantages.
I remember a time when life wasn't so shitty, when nice weather was enough to cheer me up, and running around the streets as a kid was enough excite and compel me. The world was a mystical place and anything was possible.
Now I feel as an adult a need to develop some kind of standing, and have a burning desire to apply myself. But I've been battered and bruised and nobody will ever bear witness to your struggle except you.
>>16756987
or, you could not be emo
life is suffering
- buddha
it was as true 2500 years ago as now. no cellphone, video game, youtube, or other modern gadgets change it.
in youth we are naive, inexperienced, ignorant. as we age, we become more aware. we see the impermanence inherent in life, that everyone we love will die, we will die, every attainment in life is temporary, everything fades away and changes.
nonetheless, the vast majority of people live in hope, clinging to every bit of pleasurable sensation they can get before dying. we live as if permanent happiness can be attained within the world.
i think buddhism is just as relevant as ever since it speaks to the fundamental problems of human existence. in our modern times, we are very distracted by the glittering gadgets and distraction entertainment culture, we are losing the ability to think deeply, we merely drift from one distraction to the next.
op, my sincere advice is: don't run away from these feels, go even deeper into it for the sake of developing wisdom.
Personally the only reason I'm not killing myself is because then I'll never know new discoveries about space (new planets, new insights in the beginning of time, etc.). Also I know everything is temporary and I try to withstand everything so I can become a silent observer.
>work at mc donald's
>coworker calls me Bubble
>why do you call me Bubble?
>cause it fits you anon :3
>she was bumping into me constantly
What just happened?
Was she flirting with me?
>>16756974
Yes.
>Does this guy realise that the only infomation we have are thing he mentions? This place is just an echo-chamber
>>16756974
Are you fat?
What the fuck is it with white people and their horrible taste in kitchen wall art. Feely Finger Painting? Kill yourself.
Depressed hypochondriac here.
I contemplate suicide quite often quite intently, but I shit myself anytime I think I'm going to die.
Can anyone explain why this happens?
>>16756926
You're depressed and afraid of death.
It's not rocket science bruh
>>16756926
>i think about suicide
>but death scares me
you're not suicidal. you see life as it currently is as 'sad' and becuase of the overuse of words like 'depression' and concepts like 'suicide' and all these edgy teens wnating to kill themselves, you think the only way your feelings are valid is if you're so sad that your right on the edge of taking youro wn life.
then when you realize you dont actually want to kill yourself, ur not sure how to handle that. because if you THINK about suicide you must really actually want to do it? right?
wrong. people have weird passing thoughts all day long. people who are way too sexually obsessed often get weird flashes of them having sex with gross people or people of the gender they arent attracted to, or grannys or little kids or dolphins. its just cuz their mind is on sex all the time and they connect it to whats in front of them.
you hate your life. so you assume you must want it to end. when in fact you just want it to change.
i've been taking ritalin for a couple months now and one of the side effects is that it takes away my appetite, i think i've been losing weight because of it
do you guys think it would be a bad idea to eat even though i don't feel hungry?
Set a caloric minimum for yourself and meet it every day. That way you can eat as much as you need to without getting overweight.
No, as long as you're reasonable about it. Also don't forget that you can drink calories and I'm sure you'll still get thirsty.
>>16756915
Nah, I force myself to eat whenever I do speed (which is basically amphetamine). Amphetamines cast away the hunger, but they don't leave you feeling full so you should be able to eat with a little bit of effort.
Also, drink protein shakes and go to gym. You'll become Zyzz in no time
>pic related
I had an altercation with my brother last year and slapped him on the side of the head. He and my mother called the police on me. I was sent to a psychiatric ward for a few days. Later I was told they thought I might have bipolar disorder (Wasn't even diagnosed or prescribed anything, nice professionalism).
Now I am realizing there are many things which are no longer open to me, like military or government sector jobs. Possible difficulty with insurance in the future, as well.
What would your mentality be in my situation? Would you have any respect for your family after this?
Sounds like you shouldn't have been a crazy ass bitch
>>16756937
Sounds like you're a retard who can't understand that if I was, I would have been diagnosed as one.
I'd probably be thankful for them opening my eyes to my inappropriate behavior, but then again I'm not psycho
Hey /adv/
Give me one reason to not kill myself
Do it faggot. Kill yourself. Nobody loves you.
There are almost certainly treatment options you haven't pursued -- ones that could give you a decent quality of life, where everything isn't complete shit.
Psychotherapy, antidepressants, electroconvulsive therapy, IV ketamine, transcranial magnetic stimulation, vagus nerve stimulation...
>the last three are experimental and I was rejected for them for not being suicidal enough
>so now I'm getting ECT pending a physical and an EKG and some blood testing
the amazing and wonderful natural world we live in
Anyone here know anything about accounting?
I am 20 and got married 2 months ago. My wife and I live with my mother. We are both college students. My mother, pays the rent and utilities and I help out with the food, while my wife is a full time student and has a part time job to pay her phone and her bus pass. My wife has been living with us for like 7-8 months.
Question: do I have to do taxes with my wife?I was undocumented prior to this and never had a job or did my taxes. Does my mother put us both as dependant since we live under her roof and she pays the rent?
>>16756887
It looks like your mother can file as HoH and claim you both, though that may not lead to the biggest refund.
What legal or illegal easy to get medicine or tricks can you use to improve your concentration ability?
Preparing for the defendance of my thesis and such
>>16756881
Adderall or vyvamse
>>16756881
Is that Brendan Frasier?
Modafinil is easy to get in many countries, and helps a lot. You can order it online much easier than Adderall in most countries.
Hi guys I want to start learning Russian,where is a good place to learn it?,any tips you might have?
>>16756851
Russia.
>>16756873
/thread
http://learnrussian.rt.com/
Memorize the alphabet. How to write it and how it sounds. Move on from there.
Guy feels like he can't share his sadness with me.
He believes he's not allowed to be upset about anything, or cry if he's going through something that's really hard for him. But it's exactly what he must do or else it negatively affects us and I've explained to him that I love him and I'm here for him and I want to be able to help him when he's down and make him happy
Been dating him for almost a year now and things are great. We recently went through some stress about 2/3 months ago and we're much happier with life and each other. He's taking a gap year to pursue a recent opportunity and he's busy so I don't always want to send him messages to talk about this - believe in talking through this kind of stuff in person but we never get more than once/twice a week to see each other and don't want to spoil it or end a visit on a bad note...
But after our last conversation about it I can't stop trying to figure out how to help him.
I agree. Manly men cry when they need to, and if they don't, they might as well be robots.
Very likely he had shitty examples and teachings about emotions and crying.
>>16756822
In my experience, it's sometimes for men to share their feelings with a complete stranger who has little interest in their life, rather than their girlfriend.
He's right, real men don't and shouldn't cry.
So, I met a girl and things kick off, naturally I should ask her out right?
Problem is I don't have the slightest idea what to do on a date. Where do we go? What do we do there? Are we supposed to hold hands or even kiss at the end of the date? Should I just go with the flow? I feel like it's gonna be really awkward
If it's of any help we're both kissless dateless 18 year old virgins.
>>16756815
Man I just must be jaded from old age or something but I just can't help but chuckle at the trivial fucking shit teens stress over.
Look, is there anything you want to do, like try a new restaurant or café, see a new movie perhaps, maybe you like going to the arcade and think it's more fun going with someone else than alone. Shit is endless, anon. What do you want to do?
I think it´s a valid thing to stress about.
I´d just go with the flow and if you´re both on the same boat regarding dating experience she must be just as nervous as you.
Instead of letting the situation ruin the night, use it to your advantage. Joke about it and bring the obvious to the forefront so it can be addressed, laughed at and then you guys can have fun the rest of the evening.
the whole touching thing isn't realy as necessary as I always thought.
>it's more about the connection you have when you're talking to eachother.
apparently that's what girls and women are way more into.
a very great tip I want to give to all guys, is:
>do 'the touching' in a protective matter. when you let her first through a door put your hand on her back 'guiding her'. or pull her towards you if someone has to pass by.
it's these things that women find very attractive!
and yes what you're gonna do is a thing you can stress about, but you don't háve to!
it's not a wierd thing you're thinking about it.
I've had a date where we were going to a café, then it was closed. the next one we liked was also closed,
the third was just fucking lame bc the music was very loud and we diddn't realise untill we already got our drinks,
and after the drink we got to the 4th restaurant. THAT was a cool café, but we where an hour ahead, but it just diddn't realy matter. we still had a very great night together!
>as valid as it may seem, try not to stress about it.
just go see a movie and grab drinks afterwards.
First time I've been to /Adv/, I am unsure if this is the correct board to be posting on.
My boyfriend and I are moving out of my parents house with our daughter, cat, and dog.
We have 5300+ saved up right now.
Our price range has been 600-875 Depending on the area.
We have more than enough for first, last and deposit. Plus pet fees.
My boyfriend makes 30k+ a year, however I am a stay at home mom. We are in the process or him switching to night shift so that I can get a job however.
We have no rental history, and no credit. He does have a misdemeanor of driving without his license and insurance when he was younger. He is still paying it off.
We have to be out of here by the end of February to early March.
I need advice guys. How can we go about applying if I, myself have no source of income? Will apartments care as long as he can pay rent himself?
I have done all of the math and after everything is said and done (bills, food, baby, pets) we will still have a few hundred left over a month.
Should I lie on my application saying that I have a job? Will they call? I may be able to say I'm a nanny and give them a friends phone number. But would they require a bank statement?
Sorry I'm rambling, I really don't know how to put all of these questions into words. It's very overwhelming.
I guess I shouldn't have asked 4chan. Since everyone who uses the site still lives with their parents as well.
>>16757000
So do you. With your whole family, no less.
>>16757002
Top kek
So, there's this girl at my work that really likes me, but she told me that she has a boyfriend and that she thinks he doesn't really like her as much as he used to.
What should I do?
nothing until she breaks up with him. otherwise she's just lonely and wants attention.
Something to consider:
If she leaves him for you then she could do the same to you when you're together.
>>16756804
Make out with her, tell her to dump him, fuck her.
I need help, /adv/ involving my beau and I, and my Mother as the 3rd party.
I am 31 and living at home, I cannot find a job in my town, but by God every job I see for miles are stand up/physical jobs; I have a pinched nerve in my back that prohibits me from standing and walking for long periods.
He is 25 and lives in a group home.
---------
I respect my Mother, and I love her greatly. This is her house and while I hate it sometimes I have to abide by her rules. ... My beau and I are currently in a LDR, he lives in the next town.. My car died and he has no car to speak of; we use public transit on the weekends to get him over here - to my Mother's house - so that we can visit with one another.
All we have to see each other currently, is the home visits and a place we go for a few hours a day and hang out with other people - then go home; he says it is not enough and if that's all we have to go on then he doesn't see why it's going to work out with us.
He'll go on and on about how he doesn't want me to give up, but then he turns around and threatens to leave; all because of my Mother... <cont>
I've been itching for couples therapy, esp when the fighting between us has been ongoing for a week and a half; there seems to be no end in sight. My Therapist agreed to help us... I have an appointment on Wednesday and everything was starting to come into fruition... He could stay for a couple days, but only if he came on Wednesday first and then got back home on his own.
Mom has not been feeling good for a week so I knew that she felt like shit, but he would stay with me about 98% of the time - but when I ran off to have a break from the family, she said that "All you two do is stay up in that room!" ... So, wtf? Recently she had said that she (thinks) she is ready for him to come back out.
We had plans today, Mom and I, to go out and enjoy our day.. He cannot get a way to get here on Wed and can only come today - suddenly my Mother isn't feeling well and has to lay down.
I want to be on my Mother's side, because I know that she is NOT feeling good, so I know she's not making this pain up... But at the same time, I'm calling BS because if she wasn't ready for him to come back out, she should not have said anything. Granted I did not intend for it to be so soon, but it's the only time that will work.
I was encouraged to stand up to my Mother, and not fold under pressure, and I have tried. But I know for a fact that one of her arguments will be "You can see each other @ The Center!" ... He says that's not good enough because it's only for a couple hours, three at most.
I know better than to beg to my Mother because I know that'll only piss her off and encourage her to say NO more firmly and stand her ground- so I am literally at a loss as to what to do.
Help?
>ldr
Stopped reading right there. Get back to us when you are in a real relationship.
your problems aren't relationship problems, they're monetary problems, which are causing relationship stress. focus on finding (or MAKING) work, get a car, get a better place to live, voila, the issues take care of themselves.
Navigate your family drama with care and consideration. I don't see anything that your mom is doing wrong (wondering why you're in your room with him? Feeling sick from a legitimate illness? are you fucking kidding me?). Your relationship with your family is just as important to maintain as it is with this dude.
>>16756799
don't be a moron, they're only a town over.
What's the point in fucking existing if you have to work all the time? What a miserable existence. Suicide sounds easier.
Find a field where there are jobs you enjoy doing.
If all else fails, you can at least get a job where you make a lot of money. If you're going to hate your job either way you might as well make bank.
It is.
I'd only recommend the helium + mask tactic if you dont have a gun.
Basic needs involve a roof over your head and food in your stomach. Everything else is just a bonus. Maybe you think you are too good for this shit, but your attitude suggests the opposite.
I mean, what do you want out of life? How can you even want out of it without knowing the answer to that one? You certainly don't have to spend all of it working. I didn't work 'normally' for most of my teens and 20's and spent a pretty long period homeless.
