Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1731. page
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Hi /adv/isors,
This post is both seeking for advise and probably a nice case study for you to comment on.
So my wife and I belongs to a certain group of friends whom we have been together with for more than 9 years. We were living as neighbors during university years thus we were really close and had little to no drama.
Long story short, one of the girls in the group, let's call her P, has recently married a guy whom I shall refer to as Tom, who is pretty much some random dude.
Historically, this P girl has always been close to one of the guy...
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Continued.
Now P took a 180 degree noscope attitude in being in a relationship and she prefer to be more passive and holding back. Personally I also thought she talks too much and likes to boss people around but is generally an OK and positive person
She still had some love comebacks or extra closeness with this Dan guy but since Dan never really wants to go further, they remain friends.
Now here's where the stuff kicks in. A few months before his marriage with P, Tom lashed out at her about her closeness with Dan after discovering her texting Dan that...
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Continued, last post.
Her reaction when I invited her was quite unnerving. After finding out that Dan will be present in the event, she quickly said no as he will be there and would like to avoid problems with Tom.
I asked her would it really become so problematic since there will be our whole group + a few other guests as well, meaning that Tom should not be too worried or else he can just come over.
She quickly rejected the invitation and saying the she'd rather meet my wife in a separate occasion. Although she did try to slightly persuade Tom, he...
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OP again. I do apologize if the post ia too long but I thought giving some context wouls make things clearer.
Poor tl;dr attempt : have a group of friends, one of us is being banned by the husband to meet one of the guys in our group, thus making future catch ups difficult. Thoughts and opinions appreciated.
So my girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago and we haven't talked since, she said she needed to concentrate on university.
I was wondering how long i should wait before i consider texting her and what should i say?
any advice would be great, thanks.
Sounds like it's over.
Delete her number, block her on social media, and move on with life.
>>16756748
>/adv/ pls help me be a beta or orbiter
No
The solution is simple. Don't message her again. Seriously, that's weak as fuck and she'll lose respect for you subconsciously.
Even if you wanted another shot, your best chance is to just never initiate conversation with her again and show her how well you're doing. If she feels the vibe, she'll chase after you. If not, then you've lost or gained nothing since she broke up with you.
I've been looking for ages and found nothing on this.
Every time after cutting my hair, where it is a huge change or just a small trim, my hair feels totally different for a day or two. It seems to be smoother, easier to style, not shitty and dry, and a bit darker, too. It's as if cutting it released some natural oils onto my scalp.
Just 30 minutes ago I trimmed the sides with clippers and this shit is like night and day.
for the records I haven't used shampoo in a couple of years and I rinse daily with hot water.
has anybody noticed...
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>>16756744
Use shampoo. Better yet, since you'll ignore that advise based on whatever bullshit myth you were told, use conditioner at the least. Hair oil is great for dry hair, look it up, spray some in your hair every day.
Oh, and if you can, rinse with cold. Hot water is the worst for your scalp and hair.
>>16756758
One last thing, if you do decide to listen and use shampoo, only use it every few days. That's what most people do wrong and give up shampoo for.
>>16756744
>for the records I haven't used shampoo in a couple of years and I rinse daily with hot water.
Shampoo like 2 times a week
Im 20 and go to school in the city. The advantages of living in the city is that commuting to school takes less than 10 minutes from my apartment, I get to be with my friends, I'm close to my girl friend, and I'm close to the job market for my major.
If I lived home, I would have to take a train to school which would take an hour- hour and a half, but I would be saving money on rent, food, and laundry.
The other thing I considered was to move out of my apartment and find something cheaper. I pay $850 a month for a 4 bedroom apartment.
Any advice?
>>16756669
How much are you making right now? You're supposed to be broke in college man. I personally think unless the money situation is totally fucking you, it wouldn't be worth it to move away. Do you really want to be an hour and a half away from your friends and girlfriend? Same with potential contacts for networking.
>>16756706
It's mostly money that my parents saved away for college and also little programming gigs here and there.
>>16756894
I usually end up having after rent and bills around $300 a month. $150 usually spent for time with my girlfriend or friends, the rest go towards food. Still not the most comfortable unless I do ramen diet :P
>dating girl
>we do everything sexual but intercourse
>We both turn each other on a lot
>haven't done intercourse because she wants to wait and take it slow with me (even though we've both had past partners
What does this mean? And why does she want to do this?
>>16756650
Shes waiting for the day her pussy doesnt smell.
>>16756650
Because she doesn't want you to think she's easy or a slut. Because she really likes you and cares about your opinion of her.
Maybe ask her
>May I insert my little weenie, m'lady?
I can't stand another day here, but where do I go? If I just get in my car and drive how far will I get from this midwest US state? Is there somewhere I could go or some better option that just picking a random direction? I have 1k in the bank, a really shitty car that will breakdown, has no cooling/heat gauge.
Anyways I woke up this morning with 4 hours of sleep and felt like killing myself so I got on here to write this. I'm 22 and I've almost never gone outside since I was a kid. I've never lived life. I'm a kissless, fuck, hand-holdless virgin...
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>>16756625
Ok so let's say you start driving in 1 direction. Then what will you do?
How much money do you have on you for gas, food, etc.)?
What is your daily routine like that makes you so miserable?
>>16756635
I mentioned 1k cash total. My daily routine is browsing the internet, imgur, reddit, reading, anything to distract myself with. I do the absolute minimum to take care of myself. I've been out of work for a few months since I hurt my shoulder. I've always felt this way though, not new.
>>16756646
Ok, $1,000 is good for a nice road trip I guess. Your routine does sound like it would be depressing and since you've felt like that even before being unemployed it makes it sound like you're pretty hopeless.
Are you not able to find an office job or something that doesn't require a shoulder?
When is the right time to move in with your girlfriend?
Just for context I am 22 and in my last semester of college. I'm pretty confident I'll get a job. She is 22 and works full time making $43k a year. We have been dating for 5 months so I know that it shouldn't be any time soon. I'm thinking maybe when we hit a 2 year mark.
>>16756602
>at least two years
Finally someone with their head on right. Don't let yourself get pressured into something as you graduate. Moving in is tantamount to saying "I expect to marry you at some point" and logistically is just as much of a clusterfuck if it doesn't work.
Keep on keeping on. play it by ear.
>I'm pretty confident I'll get a job
Get a job first in your area. Work there for ~1 year and then start looking for work closer to her area, especially if she already lives more than 30 minutes away from you.
Hope your parents are ok with you moving back in with them.
>>16756640
Why the last sentence?
hey /adv/
i recently got plastered at a party and told all of my friends (some are not dudes) that i was a racist and thought women should be locked in cages for fertilization. i guess in my drunk mind i thought it was funny? Now none of my friends will talk to me. Is it hopeless to try and apologize or should i try and say im sorry? We were all really close but now i see pictures of them going out without me and stuff. Not sure what to do next. I also remember talking shit about feminism and making 'age of consent' jokes. Just a big drunk psycotic mess all...
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hit your head with a hammer repeatedly
Get muslim friends they sort of have the same ideas
>>16756596
Fucking hell bro. What were you on, and how do I get some?
Seriously though. Hard to know without knowing more about your situation.
If you've got a good rep with them then playing it off as some hideous drunken haze, esp. If you've been known to partake in drugs.
If you already have a rep as the wierd friend, you're probably pretty fucked, but it's worth trying
Growing up I went through a lot of shit experiences that left my subconscious drilled with twisted views on men and myself.
This is the simple short version.
As I am now reaching my 20's, I've made it a point since I was about 13 to rationalize all of this the best I can at all times. This is to say I do not consciously demonize men, but there are periods of time where I cannot help but have disdain for them, but also feel shitty about myself for being a woman.
I've come to see that within my subconscious lies the idea that I will never be good...
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>>16756588
The problem lies exactly in the fact that these are all notions that live in my subconscious. I don't have to make sense of them because I can't. They're irrational, simply there. I'll try to make sense of it, I know what's made me feel like this, but it still won't go away.
I'm afraid I'm irreversibly damaged, but I can't keep on living like this. It' s too painful; I am left with both a void sense of self and purpose in life.
Anyone gone through something...
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>>16756588
>>16756604
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeetieee :)
You're not a mere sex object, you're also here to be adored cherished and protected. Guys don't just want to fuck girls, we also love them for their beauty.
If you want respect and achievements, you can still get that. Female athletes are worse than male athletes, but they can still be strong and get respect for that. And you can get respect by getting good at a lot of other things (e.g. in some career or in...
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>>16756890
thanks anon, I appreciate your words, but like I said, this is something deeply ingrained in me. Yeah, now I can look at what you wrote and without a pint of doubt agree whole-heartedly.
But I know that it is only a matter of time until this weird insecurity and mix of anger, disdain and regret come up again and ruin me whole for a period of time. It always does.
There's something bad rooted deep in mind. I need to get it out completely. Reason only softens the symptoms for a while.
I'm male, 23 years old.
I've been going though a bad patch (since last year, all because a breakup) but recently i've been getting better, been feeling more and more confident with myself, feeling more sexy and all... and also i've feeling a lot hornier lately. I mean, I've always had a really high libido, always been really sexual, but lately i've been feeling really horny (the other night I masturbated twice in less than two hours, and without porn, i don't watch porn frequently)
is this normal, to be this horny? i feel kinda...
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YOU HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION
>is this normal, to be this horny?
Yes.
>is it bad?
No.
I need some advice guys. Long post inc.
I am a tall, decent looking guy. I am funny, charming and not autistic. I get a fair amount of attention from girls. I have literally everything I need to be drowning in Pussy.
However, I don't. I rarely get laid and only had one gf so far (I'm 22). Why? I cant make use of the things I listed above, as I have literally no concept or clue how to transition from harmless flirty banter to clearly showing that I am interested.
I always keep it easy and superficial, I never make a move, never take a risk or do something...
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(2/2)
Thats long ago and I got my shit together, but subconsciously this mindset still sticks. Everytime I try to make a move some irrational fear and stupid thoughs come to my mind and it goes blank. I tell myself that she isn't interested, that I must have misinterpreted her signs, that she's just pretending to like me only to humiliate me. I feel like the ugly beta that approaches the captain of the cheerleading team in these moments
>>16756443
>I am afraid of rejection
Look anon, we've all been there, shit, some people still are there.
The only way to fix this is to get rejected.
Im serious. You need to take a leap of faith with this one.
Rejection hurts, I know. I have been rejected a few times.
But rejection isnt anything other than a sign that another human being is not showing love for you.
You tell us that youve been dating girls but never making a move. Your reasoning is that they might not like...
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(3/3) I messed up:
and pictures like the video of the autistic kid that dances for the blonde girl come to my mind. I do realise that this is irrational and stupid, but I don't know how to let this realisation change the scared teenager mindset I still have.
I still subconsciously feel like a loser, that I am excluded from sex and social life, that sex is something noone would ever want to do with me. I still havent realised that sex is somethign casual and normal and nothing special, just some activity two people do together and that I am not excluded from...
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I have barely done any work in the last 2 years. I obviously can't change overnight but does anyone have any tips about how to change myself and start doing the shit I want to get done instead of wasting my life?
>>16756435
Self-discipline
AKA JUST DO IT mentality.
Literally thats it. Whenever you think about doing something, then just go do it. Sure it may feel boring and tiresome when you do, but the more times you do it the more it becomes a routine. And once something becomes a routine you'll start doing it naturally.
Start small, something very small you want to change in life, and just do it. When successful, do something else. When unsuccessful, think about what you did wrong, and then try again, until you...
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>>16756435
Pick one finite, do-able thing. Clean the house, get a job, take a class, paint the barn.
Do it.
Feel good about doing it.
Pick another finite do-able job.
Repeat the process.
>>16756441
>>16756511
These. Divide life into tasks, not moments. Finish the task, move on. The degree of difficulty is subjective, so you must start where you are able and work your way up from there. And remember; Preparation is everything.
So I asked out the chick I've been hanging out heaps and she said yes to being my Valentine.
I was planning on having roses delivered to her house in the morning and then take her out for dinner during the evening.
When should I get the flowers delivered?
Should I show up with the flowers on the date itself?
Need Advice, thanks!
>>16756274
What time are you planning on dinner? I would say a few hours before then, with something on the card like "I can't wait to see you tonight"
Right about now would be acceptable.
fell in love with a girl last summer (im 24 and she's 23), desperately and strangely in love, we spent time together, we had a good time, we laughed, but she had a boyfriend, he beated her once, i man'd up, talked to him about it, helped her through, they break up. she's free, and after 3 years without sex or even having someone close to me, somethings about to happen, or so i thought.
then i found the girl is an ex-prostitute (call girl as she likes to call her), had dozens of clients. it sicked me. but you know how we are, you want what you don't have,...
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>>16756260
Just breath anon. Take a deep breath and continue reading this.
You had a bad experience. I understand that.
It is not that rare actually to meet a sexually active girl that doesnt want to give you sex.
Often, she is making you a favor. She knows you are a good person, kind hearted and would be destroyed have she ever showed you any sign of affection back.
She saved you all that. She could have just had sex with you, and then let you go. But you would be stuck forever thinking that you did something wrong. She is not the kind of girl you really want to have.
Sure you may have fallen for her good looks, or great personalities, but she is not the kind of girl who wants a stable relationship right now. She wants to be free and as you say it, she is an escort.
Not all girls are like this. There are tons of girls in your exact situation, but reversed. They fell for the fuccboi and he didnt want to break their heart so he broke it off with them.
You may need to find that kind of girl. A kind hearted girl, an innocent girl. Someone that will love you back no matter what.
You dont need the young and wild, you need the calm and shy.
I advice you to start looking at your friendcircles for any girl that might fit this description. You dont have to fall in love with her, but start talking with her, start talking with her friends. Make contact with the kind of girls you really want to have.
I dont want to see you get hurt over a girl that clearly saved you from years of being heartbroken.
I know how that feels, I had a girl drag me along for 5 years and in the end it was all for nothing.
She could have ended it at the start but she didnt have the heart for it. This girl clearly had it. You should thank her.
And go get those shy girls. I promise you they will prove to be more genuine that that call girl ever was!
>>16756291
op here
thanks a lot..i needed this out of my chest, i am not comfortable to talk about this with anyone irl. deep down i feel you're right, lately everybody seems...wicked, bad, like monkeys, only monkeys. but sometimes i feel more hopeful and thats when i think about what you wrote.
thank you very much for your attention and words, you were very kind.
>>16756260
Dr 4chin here. I can see you're having a wobble. I prescribe you a pizza, hot cup of coco and the movie "step brothers"
Should I order a Mariachi-Band for my school festival, /adv/? What would be the price for renting one in Germany for one midday?
>>16756236
Have you tried googling it?
>>16756239
I have, but I couldn't find any prices for bands in my area.
>>16756242
Could you find any bands in your area?
Try asking them for a quote.
