Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1737. page
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What to do, what to do.
Currently married. Have lost all passion within marriage. She isn't interested in anything I'm interested in, and vice versa. She's not excited about my plans and dreams for the future. She has no plans or dreams for the future of her own. Things have been bumping along for a few years now where we are kinda living together as friends/room-mates and not much more.
Some time ago, I made a new friend. Accidentally fell in love with her. Now very aware of just how much is missing from my marriage... ugh.
Have tried to persuade wife to take part in couples counselling, or at least to talk to me, but it's hard going so far. Don't want to just cut and run from marriage, want to try and make it work, but not sure if there's any way back when we are both so disengaged and one of us doesn't seem to mind that or want to change things.
So, at what point do I say "ok, this isn't working" and pull the plug?
To be clear: the friend that I developed a crush for is not "plan B", leaving the marriage is leaving to go into loneliness. The friend isn't romantically interested in me, nor will she ever be as I'm not the kind of person that she would want. Friend only contributed to situation by opening my eyes to how unhappy I was/am.
>>16768970
>married
there is your problem right there.
Maybe a bit of background? How old are you? How long have you been married? How did you meet and what attracted you two in the first place? Do you have kids and/or have planned on some?
>>16769012
I'm late thirties. She's younger.
Married around ten years.
Met in an online chat room, ended up talking to each other all the time, met up for real to see if there was any chemistry, kinda went from there.
No kids.
She 100% doesn't want kids.
How do I respond when someone says I look pretty for a black girl?
As a white guy with an extreme case of jungle fever, take it as a compliment.
There's a very fine line between attractive black women, and other black women.
And, if you're on the attractive side of that line, oh my god you're in for a world of dick whenever you'd like.
I slept with one black girl in my life, and it was while my girlfriend and I were split up, and I swear to god I've jerked off to Serena Williams highlights on sportcenter, and that black chicks ass in slow motion on those Gold Bond commercials than I'd like to admit.
Thank god for twerk videos.
PS need a side of white dick?
>>16768841
Considering most black girls aren't pretty... Uh say thanks?
>As a white guy with an extreme case of jungle fever
>There's a very fine line between attractive black women, and other black women.
>PS need a side of white dick?
eat shit and die
Girls have all kinds of *speical girly shit* they do like bath bombs and painting their nails and all other "me-time"-stuff. Do men have anything just men do, except like drink beer while masturbating to sports?
How do I man.
>>16768602
There are men spas where you can get a massage or a facial. Hell there are even skin treatments for men that you can apply in your home while you relax yourself listening music or watching a movie.
>>16768609
I don't want to do girly shit, that's the point. I was asking if there was some kind of a male equalent for the whole gallery of "girly relaxation activities".
If I wanted to paint my nails while sitting in a strawberry-scented pink bath and drinking bubbly wine, I would. But I don't want to, the mere thought makes me feel gross.
>>16768609
I do not think she is referring to aesthetics exclusively
>broke up with ex 3 months ago
>still have feelings for him
>also been having dreams about him recently
>decide to try and contact him
>private profile
>too scared to add him
>i make my profile public (idk why i did to be honest)
>get a snack
>20 mins later
>his profile is public
>panic
>think about adding him
>ended up putting my profile back on private
did i do the right thing? i really want to talk to him again. pls help because i feel like im going crazy
>>16768050
How about you stop torturing yourself and A: Actually talk to him like a grown adult or B: Look for someone else.
Why did you break up and were you the one who left?
more informations about the breakup reasons and his reaction and afterwards communication
This might sound dumb, but do beautiful girls/ women even go trough hardship ?
Honestly, most of them just get together with wealthy/strong men or just become models.
This might sound sexist, but I just needed to ask these questions
First world?
They might struggle a little economically if they're not willing to go full whore with some beta.
But aside from that, not much, with tinder and the like they can fuck a stud whenever they want, they don't have to pay for shit and can remain in a comfortable economic position until some guy decides to marry her.
>>16767927
No they get everything handed to them in a silver platter
Girls that are just natural laid back beauties mifht not get a lot of hype and lead a comfy and normal life. Those girls that attentionwhore and put a lot of effort into their looks most likey have some serious issues. Mostly due to not having had the easiest childhood. Just read some interviews with models. Most have body issues and low selfesteem
>nice 6/10 cutie
>claims she has major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder
>talk to her for 1 week
>end up being together
>everything feels so perfect
>she trusts me the most and listens to everything i say
>1 month in the relationship
>manage to fuck up her trust for me
>she barely trusts me or listens to me anymore
>she accusses me of being just like everybody else
>whenever i have to go to sleep she says i'm ''leaving'' her just like everyone else does
>if i feel bad about the whole thing and regret anything she says it's her fault for being such a fuckup
>goes on with the suicidal talking, saying she's worthless and useless
>she thinks i want to ''change'' her
>she says i can't deal with her as she is now and that's why i want to ''change'' her by going to therapy together
>she no longer wants me to take her to therapy
>''i won't be your dog.''
>accusses me of not listening to her and that i don't know what she needs nor know how to make her feel better
>had a long argument last night based on this
>she gets mad at me
>makes me feel like the worst person alive
>doesn't respond to messages or calls anymore
>woke up in the morning with a text from her
>''I'm sorry anon. I love you.''
seriously, what now?
i'm completely off the track.
>>16767785
Congrats, you found one of the few chicks claiming bpd who is actually bpd. This is what it entails. Enjoy the ride.
DO NOT STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
>>16767785
you dun goofd bud. best to gtfo asap. this cannot get better, only worse.
So Up until recently I was a virgin. I took the plunge at the ripe old age of 29 and bought a hooker because why the fuck not right?
Anyway, I found a website that lists hookers with a profile and pics. It turns out getting fucking fit attractive hookers in my city is really easy, and for about $100 for 30 minutes they're not all that expensive. Problem is, I think I got hooked. This sex thing is kinda good (just FYI) and with hookers its so fucking easy.
I'm upset because Ive seen about 16 hookers in that last 3 months, I'm starting to make a habit of this shit and I still would quite like a girlfriend to be honest.
How do I stop?
Does the heightened chance of getting an STD and the money you're blowing do anything for you?
Well, that's a whopping 1600$ for something that's supposed to be free.
What do you think what it would take for you to stop? A gf won't solve this. I once got with a guy that had a think for hookers before us. At the beginning he was very good at hiding it. After a while the habit got the best of him. He started to masturbate to the task of almost ordering a hooker (choosing one, call her, write her). To this day i don't know if he ever truly followed true but it doesn't even matter. I was fucking disgusted and ended things after i found out.
>>16767450
>supposed to be free
LOL
unless you're a movie star it isn't actually free and "normal" women are always far more expensive than hookers
even if you are movie-star tier the women are only gambling that they can get more out of you because of it and are willing to not be paid upfront
going through rough patch with gf. She starts mentioning on how her other friends' boyfriends bought them jewelry and necklaces. Mentions about 'investing' in her more.
Our convo ends. Head back to my place. Shes excited about how she doesn't have her period yet and we can have sex. She comes over gets in a sexy outfit and takes off her underwear. Get into bed and she is withholding sex. Doesn't want to do anything.
Okay that's fine. Next day ask her whatsup why didn't we have sex. Is something wrong etc.
her response " I dunno"
2.5 year relationship. At what point do women withhold sex to get what they want?
I don't want to buy this girl stuff for sex. We just had an xmas where I bought her a new camera.
Any advice from women / men on women/gf withholding sex?
I don't have a problem not having sex. But she intentionally did it. I don't get why communication breaks down.
>>16766793
its even out of her character to do this. I think she was talking to a friend and she mentioned it.
I think withholding sex is some shady girl shit
>>16766793
Isn't valentines day coming up? I'd wait till then. And just buy her a $60 necklace or ring.
dump the shallow bitch
>be 19
>decent looking but not a stunner but i make up with it by having a pretty decent amount of charisma and high intelligence
>Started university in september
>Moved in with a bunch of great people and this one beautiful girl
>We hit it off but it becomes pretty apparent that she has a boyfriend who goes to the same uni
>She loves him
>sees him occasionally
>She's the good girl type - studies hard, hates cheating, never smoked etc
>has social anxiety and depression which really eats away at her
>over time she begins to confide in me
>when she has trouble sleeping I stay up all night until she falls asleep telling her stories of when i was a kid
>start catching feelings for this girl
>Have great times together as friends
>she even trusts me enough to smoke her first (and last) joint with me
>admits to me that she self harms
>convince her that every time she feels the urge she should talk to me
>get really good at calming her down and cheering her up
>months go by and we become ridiculously close
>I don't tell her my feelings but every time we're drunk we get very flirtatious
>one night drunk in my room after going to a club she asks me if i like her
>tell her i do but downplay it
>she tells me that for her its just platonic
>the next week is a bit awkward until one night she calls me because she needs me. she's become somewhat dependent on me when she's feeling depressed
>i admit to her that i don't just like her a little bit (but didn't say love)
>tell her the story of my first day at uni as well as other stories
>get a bit playful and match up the cute moles on her back telling her which constellations they look like
>stay in her room all night until she falls asleep
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Go on op chan
(CONT)
(sorry for late update but my shitty uni internet died.)
>Saturday comes round and her brother comes to visit for the day
>go to a club and have a fairly good night
>on the way to the club she asks me if i love her
>don't answer
>she keeps pestering me
>in the club we sit down and she asks again
>me"you don't get to ask me about something that affects me so much and affects you so little"
>see that my comment hurt her
>don't apologize
>come back fairly drunk and have some drinks on the balcony with flatmates and order pizza
>8/10 girl from the flat above us shouts down to tells us to climb up to her balcony balcony
>go upstairs with one other guy flatmate and the girl's brother
>have some more drinks and the night gets blurry
>next thing i know i'm kissing the 8/10 girl from upstairs
>feels really good but strange at the same time
>feel like i'm cheating even though i'm obviously not
>move from the kitchen to the hallway and eventually her bedroom - kissing her and bumping into things on the way
>she opens her door and leads me in
>i pause
>me: "this feels like a bad idea - i cant do this"
>turn around and leave
>go downstairs and see my flatmates eating pizza
>see girl i like and sit next to her
>whisper that we need to talk
(TO BE CONTINUED)
(CONT)
>she comes to my room
>i tell her that she's got me so fucked up
>can't think about other girls without feeling weird
>up all night thinking about her
>she asks me if i love her again
>me:"i love you, but i hate what you've turned me into"
>she says she's sorry for hurting me so much
>silence for a moment
>she leans in and kisses me
>it's quite innocent and no tongue
>she starts freaking out saying that she can't believe she just cheated and that she hates herself
>hold her close and manage to calm her down
>tell her i'm not good enough for her anyway and i just want her to be happy
>she cries into my arms for a bit and goes to bed
>initially worried about her self harming but remember that her brother was staying in her room and relax again
>don't really register what happens
>go to bed
(TO BE CONTINUED)
What is it called when you have a female friend in your life that has rebuffed your romantic advances, stays friends with you, but continues to be jealous and bitter when you show attention to or hang out with other girls?
All the meanwhile, she's been on dates and hooked up with guys, even before our little falling out, and I didn't even bat an eye.
I'm not interested her at all at this point. She blew up at me after I went on a date with a girl she didn't like, then heartfealtly apologized 6 months later, and I accepted.
I don't understand the psychology.
She wants you to continue to desire her.
She wants to have her cake and eat it too.
>>16766577
>>16766584
>>16766577
OP here.
Even after making up, she still acts very passive aggressively if I so much as have a picture of me hanging out with another girl on facebook or snapchat story.
If there was some kind of romantic relationship; I would get it. We never even hooked up or kissed or anything, so I don't get it.
Hi /adv/, my bf was in Amsterdam with his friends,
we had a little argument on one night, now he tells me because i acted cold and didn't show him any attention he opened up a tinder account.
Says he had a couple of matches, messaged girls but no one replied back.
Claims he did this cause he really needed an ego boost because i was cold towards him.
Is this normal? Should i believe him (that no one got back to him)?
Just don't even know how to feel, don't even used tinder before
>no one replied back
not normal, he's objectively ugly
Well, just mentally prepare yourself for this to happen every time you guys have an argument if you stay with him.
Dump the fucker, that's some teenager level of bullshit
Is there anyway to kill yourself that's painless? I don't have a gun so that's not an option and it has to be simple enough that anyone can do it
Drop hanging, if you get it right.
Heroin???
>>16765686
I've thought about hanging my self
But they say you have to get it right in order for it to be quick and painless
>>16765681
Helium asphyxiation
I've only eaten out one gf in the past once, and it was absolutely disgusting. So gross that I've been put off doing it ever since. I'm with a girl I really like now though and want to try again because I'd be happy to make her feel really good. I'm worried it's going to be so nasty that it's gag inducing again. So two things in this thread:
1) Please post any tips/advice on how to eat out a nasty pussy convincingly or how to make it less nasty
2) Please post any advice on giving a girl good oral
Thanks!
What made it so nasty? Was it a horrible smell/taste? If so, that's not normal and you shouldn't have put your mouth there because it probably means an infection of some kind.
>>16765497
1) The only thing I can think of is being horny as fuck so that offsets the whole nasty factor, it's all mind games, you have to kind of like getting down and dirty
2) Simultaneously lick the clit and do a "come here" motion with your middle and index finger inside her pussy. Also DO NOT wander the fuck off from the clit with your tongue. It's quite literally the only area where licking feels like anything at all.
You REALLY need to make the whole thing feel passionate and make it seem you're eager to do it, being horny as fuck yourself is the easiest way. Keep repeating the things mentioned above and you should feel the muscles inside the pussy tighten the grip on your fingers. You REALLY do feel the grip when the girl is actually getting pleasure out of it. Continue till she cums, profit.
Good luck :)
To be frank, Oral is nasty. However, if she maintains herself it is bearable if you really like a girl. Keep in mind there are many ways to please a lady, and you don't have to eat her out. Although, keep in mind sucking a dick for her is about the same as you eating her out so if she sucks your dick be grateful.
Oral takes a long time. You will be down there for 20-45 minutes. If you aren't prepared for that commitment, don't waste either of your time trying oral. Technique wise is case by case, but my main advice is to not switch up your style abruptly. Stick with a motion, if she is responsive continue said motion.
Why is there so many stuck up fat girls? like ones that always shoot for 8-10/10 guys... I have a group of friends, who for the most part, are all nerdy as shit, cept one of our friends who despite being nerdy, is able to pick up women easily, he is always going on about how he has to beat fat girls off of him with a stick. But they don't seem to give us the time of day... he says its because all women aim high even when their dating blue book value is low, and when they get rejected over and over they blame shallowness and vapidness when they were trying to get with him because he is good looking and has a lot of money. I don't know if what he says is true or not, he even goes as far to say he envies us, that if he was stronger willed he wouldn't date and hook up because its a giant headache for little reward.
Is what he says true?
Its probably since they don't see themselves as fat, at least some of them anyway.
>>16765473
He says its the whole "real women have curves" thing and the "all sizes are beautiful" bullshit. He says its made women who are fat think that they are just as attractive to everyone as a nice fit girl. He doesn't date or hook up with fat girls, he says its very very very rare him and his friends do, but it doesn't stop the fat girls from trying.
>>16765499
Its probably because they are arrogant af. I wish some guys would grow some balls and tell them explicitly why they aren't dating them, constructive criticism and all that.
Is the Friend Zone just a meme? Has anyone got any experience with moving from friends to a girl to dating?
>Been texting with this girl almost daily for a few months now, FB chat is approaching 7000 messages
>She really likes my attention
>I like her attention
>So far things are only playful but pretty platonic
I want more, I have been on a few "dates" with her but she seems pretty unresponsive in wanting to touch me and it's starting to piss me off. She's also not seeing other guys, She has no car, lives in a rural area and lives with her parents.
Any tips?
>few months
Man youre dumb, if a chick doesnt like you move on and drop her. You buy a lizard and want it to fly and people tell you it doesnt "well maybe if im nice enough to it it will learn to fly". Thats you anon
>>16765410
No, the friend zone is not a thing. It's what bitter assholes confit themselves with when someone doesn't want to fuck them.
>she seems pretty unresponsive in wanting to touch me and it's starting to piss me off. She's also not seeing other guys
Why are you angry she doesn't seem responsive? It's not her job to want to fuck you. If she doesn't, she doesn't. Her being in a relationship has no bearing on that.
Dude, if you want to date her ask her straight up. I assume you put "dates" in quotes because you haven't actually discussed dating.
>>16765418
The friendzone is definitely a thing. It's where clueless guys end up who don't realize girls don't like guys just because they're nice to them.
To be fair, a lot of women like to lead naive and inexperienced guys on, so they're not innocent in all this either.
