Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1321. page
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I'm at a point in my life where i have to learn a lot of new things in a short amount of time. But i'm afraid if i do more than one thing at a time i will be destroyed due to huge amounts of anxiety i'm afraid i'll get. When i was 13 i was under a huge amount of pressure and stress that i tried to kill myself and since then i have gone out of my way to be lazy as fuck and to not do anything or try to learn new things. I'm 18 now but i'm afraid that if i try to do stuff again i might go back to that dark place but i don't want to. Should i just try or should continue to do what i'm doing by taking things really slow or not at all.
Do stuff, but don't underestimate the time commitment.
Hey /adv/
im a 19/m and probably a 4-5/10 max right now because I have really bad pimples around my mouth. Its starting to effect me in the real world, already being shy and depressed, it doesnt help. Im getting worse anxiety and im constantly worried about how i look. Im using some shitty commercial cleansing agent but that isnt working at all.
What should i do? What would be the best ways to remove to pimples/cover them?
>>16911016
>What should i do? What would be the best ways to remove to pimples/cover them?
First off do not scratch them, they will become scars that will take 30 years to buff out.
At that age, its normal to have more than normal oil production in the face. Oil is good, it makes your skin outhful and shiny, but too much can cause clogged pores.
The best you can do is ride it out.
Have a routine you follow every night:
1) Wash face with warm water to open up pores
2) Get a washcloth and soak it in hot water, let it cool and apply to your face. This is a cheap way to open your pores further.
3) Get an oil-free face moisturizer and apply throughout face (check youtube routines; see how girls do the proper technique as doing it wrong may promote wrinkles)
4) Wash your hand and wipe off the excess moisturizer
Ensure that you wash your sheets and blanket once every two weeks. If you do have time, do shower before sleep, you can skip to step 4 when you step off the shower. You want to be clean when you get into bed, so when your face is resting on the pillow there isn't the day's much and dirt on it.
If the acne develops worse (on top of the other) you ma have abornal hyper oil glands, in that case, the acne could possibly develop into cysts and bleed, and erupt for being so tender. At this point, (if you ever see blody pimples), go see a dermatologist.
As for self-esteem issues, all I can say is man/woman-up! You're young, this should start slowing down at 20+. Don't beat yourself up, it may look unappealing now, but if you follow a hygeine regimen and don't pick at it, you will come off with clear skin in your 20s.
Hey, /adv/.
I was recently let go from a low wage retail bitch job because the store wasn't making enough money and it's apparently cheaper if they just have five managers and no associates.
I'm applying for another job online, and the application asks these questions.
How was your performance on your last job?
Have you ever been discharged or forced to leave any job? Yes No
Please explain:
Have you ever been subject to formal disciplinary action at any prior employment?
How do I answer these questions? What's stopping from them from calling my previous manager and he proceeds to shit talk me?
If I were to answer these questions completely honestly, I would say that my manager gave me high shipment quotas without formal training and consecutively gave me twelve hour weeks, making it impossible to hit those quotas. He then fired me after a year of employment, (along with the rest of the staff, sans managers), under the excuse that I worked too slowly and showed no improvement in my work.
Obviously I can't say that, so what do?
>What's stopping from them from calling my previous manager and he proceeds to shit talk me?
What's stopping your previous manager is the threat of a slander lawsuit.
Lie on your application.
>>16911013
So what, he legally can't say anything bad about a previous employee? I mean, even under that threat, I don't really trust him. The guy is notoriously mean, shady and petty. He's made several employees cry and even made another manager below him dig the trash once. I wanted to report him to HR for this shit but I just don't feel it's worth it.
Lie, but have a good memory. I have an extremely well paid job with untold fringe benefits and i lied like a fucker to get it. I mean the worst they can do to you is say no. Just keep applying for jobs until one of them takes the bait.
Don't have any shame or doubts, the fuckers will sack you in a second when times are hard so don't have a conscience where your employer is concerned (unless its a small family set up that treats you really well of course).
Its dog eat dog in this rat race.
So, recently my wife's boyfriend has finally taken the big step and moved in our house. I have been very dubious about this snce the guy in question has basically been evicted from his small apt for being loud and has already a pending subpoena, but my wife eventually convinced me, and so here we are.
The point is, since day one our house is a perennial mess. He refuses to do the dishes, to clean or to contribute to the house in any way, he just has sex with my wife whenever he wants and has no respect for my property or my money. I would like him to stop, but i understand that the issue is potentially sensitive since he is black. I would like him to cooperate, but i'm also scared of appearing racist (i'm clearly not, my wife's son is half black himself, tho different father, and i have never mentioned the thing).
Is there a sensible way to put an end to this and maybe find out a way for him to behave without upsetting my wife?
>>16910929
this must seriously be bait
>>16910929
Come on! Is that the best you can do? Very pathetic bait.
>>16910929
i bet you're australian
/adv/ not sure if gay or some kind of bi curious
i'm female and in a relationship and always had a relationship with men but i'm incredibly attracted to some women sometimes
i love sex with men and all but when i masturbate i exclusively look at women and think about women, so i can actually get off
i guess it doesn't matter a whole lot but i'm genuinely wondering if this is average for "straight" women
pic related, i fantasize about melissa debling and women with large breasts sometimes
>>16910910
We are all, men and women, so inundated with images of female beauty every day, that it is not surprising that some women will internalize that definition of beauty and sexiness.
There is nothing inherently lesbian about finding a beautiful woman beautiful. More men would admit that some men are beautiful if there weren't such a male taboo about it.
When your masturbation fantasies begin being explicitly X-rated - when you don't stop at thinking about lovely bodies but imagine yourself doing things to them - you might be ready to consider trying it once in real life to see if you like it. Until then, don't worry.
How do I stop constantly craving attention?
By not making threads about it, silly.
>>16910908
well it has to do with why you crave the attention in the first place. Did you have any family issues, broken home etc?
>>16910926
Working parents, alcoholic dad, bullied at school for autism and poor hygiene, etc. Pretty standard stuff, nothing everybody hadn't dealt with.
Hey b,
I need an advice. On friday i was at a nightclub. I started dancing with a girl and it soon turned into kissing and boob/ass grabbing. If i had condom i could easily fuck her in the toilet, but thanks to my autism i just left with her number. The next day I wrote her an sms and asked for her fb account, "so we can talk". Now she wrote back and gave it, but since then i changed my mind. I dont need a realationship now, so I would like to turn her down politely. But since i was the onse who wanted to talk, its fucking cringeworthy.
Help me.
Anon
almost fucking one night doesn't mean an instant desire for a relationship. turn it to fwb
Lol its not b i.fukd.up
>>16910921
My main.problem is that i dont have time/energy for that + she looked prettyer on friday. By much. I just want to turn her down
wat do?
So, my current gf confessed me last night she has been with a black guy before me. A black guy i also happen to know, he works as a pilot 5 years older than she is, bald and a big guy. Can't believe i even met that guy during a masked party one month ago, and he seemed so cool and friendly, like he totally didn't bang my girlfriend just 6 months before
I mean, i know it shouldn't be a problem and whatnot, but i just can't wrap my mind about it, and i can't get why she hid such a thing to me. Ofc, we had a big argument about it, things got heated fast, told her to get out of my house, she stormed out and now we are in this sort of "not together" limbo. For now. No phone calls from her so far, no messages, nothing. Just her bald cousin calling me more or less one hr ago to tell me that i am a "Little racist white guy" and yelling various obscenities regarding penis size. I hung up on him after less than 15 seconds btw. I am literally paralyzed, i don't wanna lose her, but now it's obvious we have a trust issue. The whole thing is extremely painful for me since i always expect a lot of loyalty from my relationships. But i realize now it is not the time for fear, but to find a reasonable solution
>Tl;dr: Current gf dated a black guy before me. I love her so much but i don't know if i can keep her after what she has done. Wat do?
>>16910846
you fucked up, and its your own fault. clearly she never told you because she didnt want to hurt you. and it does sound extremely racist, the fact that you stated its a black guy. the fuck is wrong with women sleeping with black guys? I'm sure you would sleep with a hot black women if you where single and given the chance.
>>16910856
Because then there would be a high possibility that she would cheat on him. Size queens do cheat
>>16910916
I don't know about her big guy ex, but i'm well above 7 inches and never went ball deep with her since she finds it painful
How do you decide whether you should be in a relationship with someone, or if you should just stay friends/acquaintances?
And you do you read what the other party would also like
inb4 bluntly asking them
>>16910839
such a beautiful photo
>>16910839
Love the picture.
Try
Not so hard it's not natural, but at least make an effort
Make a move, a kiss first
If I have a slight interest at all I act immediately on that romantic interest.
Then its easier to answer your question. I don't play no games trying to figure things out subtly just straight forward talk is all.
I could cry on demand at any time, I cry everyday. To release the pain inside of everything that has happened since childhood I need to cry multiple times a day or else I have a painful energy in my chest, suppressing it leads to irrational thinking and more pain. Is this normal?
I feel everything so intensely but I don't want drugs...
So, caught some kind of cold.
How do I get rid of it as quickly as possible? Or at least minimize the symptoms to appear well in uni?
I need to kill off a very sore nose-throat combo and decongest. Somehow, showers aren't working with decongestion, and lozenges do shit for my sore throat.
Is there any kind of food I should eat (Aside from soup) to get well faster?
>>16910827
There is no cure for a cold. Period.
Some say massive doses of vitamin C can speed you through it. Decongestants and cough suppressants can mask some of the symptoms some of the time. Tea with honey might soothe your throat a little.
But mainly a cold is something you try to survive, not something you can fix.
>>16910880
I was afraid of this answer, but I'll accept is as fate anyway.
I thought Vitamin C was supposed to be taken before a cold, so as to mitigate it at the point of catching it. I did have tea 3 weeks ago and loved it, but I forgot to buy packets and thus we're here.
In all fairness, I'm not looking for a cure, so much as a treatment.
(Though, either way, I'm still fucked, am I? Ah well.)
Zinc, vitamin B, C, and D all help. The vitamins ensure proper functioning of the immune system (which is helpful both before, and during a cold). I think the zinc helps kill the virus, I can't remember why though.
Aside from that, water and sleep.
So my sister is ungrateful, rude, selfish peace of shit.
My question is should I just ignore her as it will isolate her from interaction or should I start mocking about her weight (she is pretty fat)
>inb4 why would you do that to your sister?
We can't hekp you, because we don't know her. Destroying someone is an intensely personal act, even intimate in some ways. You have to know exactly which buttons to push. You probably know those better than we do.
>>16910825
mock her weight. dont do it many times tho or it'll lose effect, but the first time you do it is probably gonna hit her like a bomb. not that I advocate bullying maybe you should just try to reason with her. why does she bother you that much?
Hey /adv/,
I need an outsider's opinion. I'm in an inter-continental long-distance relationship. We've been together for 2 months, if that says anything. Our plan involves me moving in with him once I graduate. There's something that really bothers me. Sometimes he makes jokes that make me feel on edge (I'm diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder). I've already expressed my dislike and told exactly why yesterday, but I'm afraid this will keep going because he doesn't realise when he says something insensitive. I was telling him about a girl who liked me months before I met him, and he said something about "Is she up for a threesome? I'd bang her too". Of course she wouldn't be, as she is a lesbian, but anyway, I found it very hard to keep the conversation going after that one. He says that he would only have sex with a girl who I allow him to have sex with, but I still feel discomfort, anxiety and a very nagging urge to leave. Then he says if that ever happened, he wouldn't cum in her or something, which was supposed to make me feel better. Then I keep saying "Errr", to which he replies "Do you want me to cum inside her too? I can do that".
This entire time, he was talking dirty but I couldn't say much. I'd only reply with "teehee" or something silly like that. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack.
He is a guy who speaks his mind but I can't help but feel he's being disrespectful. I've already expressed my dislike a couple of times and he's not dumb. Am I blowing this out of proportion? What do I do if this really keeps going? Should I appreciate him being honest? Should I break up with him because we're not compatible at all? Please help.
How long until you graduate?
>>16910802
1 year
>>16910795
Speak with him about your anxiety problems. If he's a man with a brain AND a little bit common sense, he will realize that he is a insensitive prick. Talking about having a threesome is ok ofc, because partners should always talk about needs and desires they have, but in this case it would be about respect and consideration of your feelings to not be a guy aksing if he may cum into the other girl. (dickmove IMHO, pun intended)
tl;dr Tell him about your problems, if he can't or won't understand your situation, leave him
Long story short, one of my best friends tricked and convinced a bunch of people into believing I was a manipulative shit in an attempt to break me and my girlfriend up. After trying for nearly a year, it worked, and then he quickly swooped in and ran off with my Ex.
This was years ago, and since then Ive come to accept hes a piece of shit and everyone who believed his word over mine was pretty fucking stupid. Ive accepted my girlfriend was a moron and im better off without any of them.
I moved to another city, got a decent career, got into shape, began seeing other women and doing pretty well.
Last year I traveled and oddly ran into both of them. Neither of them would speak to me but her parents recognized me and caught me up. Pretty much they both became fat losers and gave up on their dreams.
And despite all of this, im still really bitter and pissed off about it. It sounds like Im doing fine and theyre not, so why the hell can't i stop being like this?
"Et tu, Brutus?"
Even though they got what they wanted and some justice as well, you were cheated and stabbed in the back by a person you saw as a brother. Shit like that will always bug you, you only learn to not care over time and find better things.
It happened to me as well. Kinda different and it's been years since as well.
>be soldier, with a girlfriend
>also friendly with best friend and his gf
>notice that they break up and I continue talking to friend like nothing
>best friend starts feeding my gf things about me, that I'm fucking other girls while out here and that i dont care about her
>we break up, stupidly didnt think the bf was behind it all
>deployment ends and I show up to talk with my ex, see what happened, just wanted answers, by now Iheard from a mutual friend that theybstarted dating
>talk and just ask "why him?"
>"oh, he was there to help me when we broke up, and he told me that you were okay with him dating me"
I just walked off and moped for a bit and said fuck it. It hurt. He showed up at my house one day to see what was doing on and acted like nothing had happened. I popped a fist into his gut and said get out.
Apparently he thought I was cheating on my ex, gf at the time, with his ex. That from the other side of the world i was setting it up so we could hook up after I came back.
>>16910789
>It sounds like Im doing fine and theyre not, so why the hell can't i stop being like this?
You were betrayed, and in one of the worst possible ways. Injuries like that take time to heal, and even then, you need to let them.
Don't keep this bottled up. Talk to someone (preferably not them) who can help you get these feelings out where you can process them. Only then will you be able to let them go.
>>16910821
its kinda nice to know someone else understands. I always feel like a dick even thinking about bringing up my feelings or what happened.
Recently my life flipped from being very bad to very good in pretty much every way imaginable. I'm 22 and now have my life totally planned and catered for, right now I'm studying and could buy a house outright but for some reason most likely greed I'm still not content with what I have if anything I'm only more driven to get more money and more material shit, recently an opportunity to sell drugs presented itself and I'm seriously considering it, I've spent a lot of time methodically weighing the legal ramifications and believe it's worth it as with careful planning I'm unlikely to be caught but prepared for it if it happens.
Is this human nature or have I always been greedy? Am I stupid for considering this?
Selling drugs in this age? Nah you are on Einstein's level.
You might be being set up.
>>16910783
>Selling drugs in this age?
b-but literally everyone does it
>>16910784
Without going into why I know I'm not.
