Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1156. page
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> been hanging out w/ her on game
> we teamspeak
>listen to love songs together
>fgt anon likes her, but anon dun have guts
Turn off the game and go find a girl in real life, save yourself the time and effort, bud.
>>16942116
girl gamers are crazy weird #fact
how far is the distance between you?
>but i would pass
So...I'll try to make this quick. Not long ago I decided I was officially done with dating, fast forward, I end up getting myself into what is basically dating someone anyway
She is sweet and I like her, but that for me don't mean we need to suddenly act like a married couple right away, she seems to feel otherwise. I am a very self occupying person, like alone time, etc, she constantly (and I mean constantly) needs attention and likes to talk 24 7, and honestly I just can't do that
What do you do? If she was someone I didn't like, I'd tell her so or just ignore her till she got the point, but I do like her...so what the hell do I do?
Since you like her, and it seems like you think you are in a relationship, the best course of action would be to make it official.
Sit her down, tell her about how much alone time you need/she should expect, etc. I hopefully don't have to tell you how all of that conversation should go and what topics that should include past this.
I've seen similar happen with a bunch of friends. While this is just anecdotal...
What usually happens is the relationship is rocky and chaotic and filled with exciting drama until she gets what she wants.
This is especially the case if she is the kind of girl who thrives on trying to convert what she sees as an essentially good guy who needs to *grow up* or *accept* something. I'd argue this is a personality flaw unless the guy is actively courting this situation.
Eventually this either ends due to him being sick of whining and realising that he didn't want to *grow up* according to the strange desires of another potentially damaged person, or turns into trying to satisfy her need to have constant 'support' and emotional availability.
This can be like ultimately trying to fill a black hole for a lot of insecure people who aren't actively working on these issues and I've seen friends remain in these relationships until she decided that "it just doesn't feel right" or "this is borderline abuse, I always feel crazy" or "I've learnt so much about what love *should* be, and this isn't love". They eventually get dumped.
It works pretty well though if both sides are mutually co-dependent. Sometimes the guy will be so thrown around by the crazy that they end up co-dependent.
I went to an event the other week where I was talking to a friend who I'd not seen for a few months. About 2 minutes into the conversation his girlfriend walked over to interrupt us saying that she was having a really hard time talking to another group of mutual friends and she couldn't believe that he was being so ignorant as to ignore her and them and she'd appreciate it if he came over and showed her some support as his partner like they'd been talking about.
Top kek. As if I'd ever put up with that from my girlfriend. Straight up desire to control someone in order to pad their own poor self esteem.
So I got this girl's number on Thursday. I texted her that exact day and started talking about random shit. But I texted her again on Friday and she completely dodged me, so I'm like OK I won't text her the next day. I texted her yesterday and just said "hey :)" and she said hey back I told her I was chilling watching some Netflix and then I got no response the entire fucking day.
I understand that she might be busy and she may have forgotten about texting. I don't know what to do at this point I want to get to know her better before asking her on a date. Do I leave her alone or do I try my best to start something. Any advice?
Ask her out. That's what you want to do.
She's probably not into you, but take the shot you have nothing to lose.
>>16941740
The thing is that before I even asked for her number she was really friendly towards me and I always caught her staring at me and she is always happy when she is in my lab group so why would she not be interested? If I do ask her out and she rejects we still see each other 3 times a week for class it will be so awkward.
Hi /b/
30 year old male, with 18 year old international (German) girlfriend - looking to make serious long term relationship.
I've a stable, well paying job, industry experience, secondary sources of income - in short I can provide.
She loves my country (Australia), speaks English fluently, and is currently looking to study here to live and create a base for her life. We have an immigration lawyer on our side to assist with Visa and the logistics behind citizenship etc.
I've travelled, she has travelled too - of course I have more 'life experience' but she is open minded and wishes to travel in future with me if we so desire.
I've a long history (previous 8 years) of being single and enjoying it (prior to this, two girlfriends)- she has had a few boyfriends in the past, a few casual flings. She is vehement she loves me and wants us to really take this towards the possibility of a life together.
Im at a point where I'm through with messing around and want a strong and challenging relationship that is worth the effort - I've had the luck of landing a beautiful, intelligent, and challenging young woman, and I've enough experience to silence the nagging and unfounded doubts of fear and uncertainty to realise what an opportunity this is.
Has anyone been in the same situation?
Objective/subjective advice on the matter?
Pic related - it's not us, but I can seriously see it going this way in the next 2-6 years.
>>16941632
At 18 she has no idea what/when/how she sees her life unfolding. Plenty of partying to be done before settling down.
You change completely in your 20's. Thus is going to be extremely ugly. You will have kids and when she turns 30 she will start resent you because she missed out. She will feel trapped and as if you are holding her back. She will file a divorce and take the kids with her - back to germany.
The chances of this working out are extremely slim.
i had never a gf, what are the odds of it ending any time soon given my face? am i this ugly
You have to be 18+ to post on 4Chan
Also, this is /soc/'s problem, not ours.
>>16941522
see if you were better looking it wouldnt be deleted.
Heres the deal, don't expect much advice but I live with my parents almost smack dab in the center of this shitty neighborhood called Mars hill in indianapolis. I just recently became single after almost 2 years and I've been thinking about just up and moving to Florida, where I've got one friend I know online for a couple years now that would allow me to stay with them until I got a job and could support myself I've got almost a grand saved up to use for getting there and to have a little bit of spare money when I do get there, I guess the question is would that be enough to get me started? And what is it like living in Florida? how tough would it be to find a job and get started with my new life down there?
Pic unrelated
>>16941475
Well OP. I'm trying to leave FL because I've been out of work for months now. Gonna try PA.
Would be easy if you have experience in a desired field of work
>>16941475
Do drugs.
Make bad decisions.
Be the next Florida Man.
![14c9c3821a4766df5e73ec79a308334f[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qJwBYiE.jpg "14c9c3821a4766df5e73ec79a308334f[1]")
I thought I finally got over him. It was clear that things cannot work out in the first place, specifically the fact that he's not able to like other men. But there are times when I still think of him, even getting into the dangerous territory of fantasizing everything about him. It seems pretty silly to be dreaming intimate scenarios of a person I never even shook hands with, but I guess imagination is a powerful thing. I haven't even spoken to him in a year and I still think of him every other day. I try to dull the pain by reminding myself that I chose the better path. In hindsight, he's pretty immature and doesn't have much going for him, not to mention plenty of other flaws he has, but some nights it gets too overbearing to even think about the negatives. I can still remember his face almost perfectly, even if it's objectively a 3/10 on a good day, but who am I to judge on that. I keep trying to tell myself that he's simply unable to be attracted to other men, but sometimes I can't help but delude myself into thinking that there were signs that I missed, that he's really had some interest in me at certain points over the previous year only to be met with my unwillingness to take advantage of it. I just want out of this cycle.
Unfortunately, I can't exactly look for a partner at this moment. I try to distract myself with videogames and whatnot, but they can only go so far. Thankfully, it's not as bad as it used to be when I truly didn't know whether he was gay or not, which resulted in countless anxiety-fueled nights and an endless train of thought revolving around him.
Maybe I'm just lonely, but I don't want to find a partner for that reason alone. I know I'm generally clingy so this isn't the first time I latched onto a straight guy. Anyone here willing to share some insight?
Just to clarity, I'm a male.
bamp
>>16941424
I cannot offer much advice OP, but I can offer a bamp
Every wonder what it's like to be the opposite sex? Lol ever try to live in someone elses life? I spent over 8 worthless months of my life doing pathedic social experiments online and live out in public. No no no... Not these stupid pranks you see on youtube. Serious shit. I have a small team i hired off craigslist 2 girls and 2 guys. I paid them on call for my experiments. I would love to tell you about the 25k i lost by employing theses people and go through every experiment. But... I'll just go down from the expirement that actually surprised me. #8 i paired the least attractive male participant with the two girls and i told them to go out in the crowd. His duty was to beg for friendship. The girls duty was to decline and appear to be grossed out by him. Random people from the surrounding area defended the girls to their fullest ability practically killing the male participants with aggression. My male participant wasn't hurt physically but was mentally hurt. But when i twist it around and put it as the girl begging for friendship with the two guys declining her invention the surrounding people came the girls aid offering dinner and their friendship. When this is done online it's amplified in aggression to the male participant. Looking into this its all about sex... They want sex. If the possibility of sex isn't involved nothing happens. I participated in the experiment. 3 guys 1 begging for friendship. No one did anything... Isn't humany worthless.
>>16941398
Humanity sucks but we all knew that
>>16941398
ITT: shit that never happened
I live with my parents. Should I save up money or spend money on my gaming habit?
saving money is never a bad idea. Why not do both? Budget stuff, it's good practice for when you're not being a leach.
>>16941315
The two really don't go hand-in-hand.
Sincerely, a gambler.
I chose visual arts as a highschool subject but im kind of regretting it. The theory part seems easy but the things we have to make kinda suck. I don't really have any interests so choosing subjects is kinda hard. What subjects do you guys recommend i do instead of visual arts or should i just stick with it.
What year are you?
>>16941199
11, i have to make a choice soon because i wont be able to change subjects after term 2 starts.
How do I get over things? I was a fool, but I lost something of a novelty.
> Get something cool from a bar (party hat)
> Leave bar, go to university party thinking it was watching football game
> ended up being a nightclub (I was a fool)
> Already there, friends inside. Might as well join
> Could not leave my novelty with my coat, the coat guy was a faggot.
> Go inside club, meet friends.
> One of them drunk, takes hat and wears it (np)
> Skip
> drunk friend loses hat. No shit
> later on, found bartenders in club wearing hat.
> I try to nudge her asking for hat back but she ignores
> Skip
> Friend apologises for what hes done. I forgive him
Rather, it is my fault in the first place of giving it to him. I could have done many things to avoid
losing the hat. For example, not going to the club, putting hat inside my coat, holding it on for dear life, stealing back what's mine from the bitch...
The thing is that I was fine at first that I lost it, but now that I think about it I maybe feeling a bit of grief; theres better options for me to do
but I did not take it.
what kind of hat was it? sorry to hear that op... atleast rest assured most of us are lamenting the loss of people in our lives so we know your pain
Its a St. Patrick's day hat. Looks comfy as fk.
I know this is the worse place to go for advice but
How do I make a friend? There's this person who I've talked to a lot on a site where I'm anonymous and they post under a name, and we great along pretty well. Recently I added them as a friend on a social media site, but when we try to talk there it's awkward and actually they haven't responded to me in two weeks or so. I don't want to initiate every conversation, because that's one-sided and I feel like I'm bugging them. I just really want to be friends or at least friendly with them, but for some reason it's not working. What can I do?
Try being honest with them, like tell them about how you really want to be their friend, despite the awkwardness. Maybe they feel the same way?
>>16941166
I can try that, but I'll have to work up the nerve. Anyone have any other ideas?
So, I've noticed this since I was about 14; Generally, a few hours before I'm hit with a wave of depression, one or both of my hands will go kind of numb.
It's similar to when you're leg falls asleep, except I can feel something pulsating through them, and usually they start to get very cold. Lately, it's been my left hand. When I was younger, I just thought it may have been the way I was lying on my couch or something, but a few years back I realized the connection. It's gone all the way up to my elbow, but usually it stays in my hands.
I've never gone to the doctor about it, for the same reason I've never asked to be put on medication for my depression; a mix of embarrassment and fear.. But, do you guys have any advice on it?
>>16941115
honestly, see a doctor
neuro and psychiatric symptoms occurring together are not something to be nonchalant about.
Don't be embarrassed, doctors see much worse things on a daily basis, and they genuinely want to help, especially with proactive young patients who have a lot left to live for and haven't drank/smoke/eaten themselves to a life of chronic disease
t. junior doctor
Probably a brain tumor
Hey /adv/.
So there's this pretty bitch with a nice ass in all my classes. She has severe mental issues such as general anxiety disorder and depression which makes her difficult to talk to. Guess she had a traumatic childhood as her mom died of cancer when she was young. So, my issue is that we got close after she gave me signals that she was into me but apparently she isn't. Now she doesn't talk to me but I'm still into her for some reason. I know that she's a shitty person because she will ignore me but talk to people right in front of me even though I'm sadly the only one who has ever cared for her and she has even said this. How do I get over her and not get jealous when she socializes with others?
I've kiiinda been in a similar situation. Just look at it like this: She's got severe mental health issues, you've got a good conscious and done what you could. She apparently not fucking with you for whatever reason so just let time make you numb to whatever game she's playing and go about your business as well as you can.
Date another girl, see if she gets jealous.
I live in LA and I hate it for various reasons. I still live with my parents but I work a decent job and I'm saving money. I'm thinking of moving to Oregon or Colorado as my first move once I've saved over $80,000.
Would a psychology or physics degree be a good choice for mobility? Meaning I could move anywhere with them? I'm interested in getting to Europe eventually. My plan is to work while at school and hopefully the money will last until I have a degree.
Florencia ese
If you're a girl, be my girlfriend?
Degrees don't offer mobility unless you want to be a student. Careers and occupations offer mobility or not.
