Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1150. page
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It still hurts /adv/, a year later it still hurts.
We were about to become something great. Then she went back to her ex.
I still haven't totally moved on. It still hurts every time I think about it. I still secretly long for her. She knows how I still feel, I fired all the missles, I have nothing left to say to her.
She's still with him. And I still can't get fucking entirely over it. She was my first real love.
I've dated since then. Fucked since then. Yet still when randomly day dreaming, it's still her. How the fuck do I get rid of these feelings for her?
Christ it makes me hate myself.
>>16950700
Takes time. Sometimes a year isn't enough. Also, cut all contact and remove anything that reminds you of her until you can get over it. Worked for me.
>>16950722
The worst part is that I feel if she breaks up with him, she will start hitting me up again. Whenever I do see her, she leans in, she gives me the "I really miss this" look and shit. She always says how she was "going to text me because X reminded her of that time we did X."
And I don't know if I have the strength to turn her down. I know she's poison, but I want it anyway.
>friend of mine was bullied/abused and touched as a kid by students
>claims she used to be a cutter but stopped
>currently bulimic
>im the only person she has ever told, not even her family knows (why me...)
>apparently im her only friend
>shortly after telling me, she goes to a counselor and finally tells her mother about the bulimia but not everything
>me: "you probably should tell her everything..."
>apparently, her father constantly makes her feel like a failure and compares her to her successful sister
>last night, they get into a nasty argument
>i spend hours trying to help her through it
>eventually she says something along the lines of "maybe hes right. maybe i am worthless/good for nothing"
>for some reason (to my surprise), i get pissed off and think shes being ridiculous. self destructive
>i try to give her tough love and lecture her
>for the first time ever, she shows aggression towards me. tells me maybe i should just stop talking to her "since shes not good enough for me"
>goes to bed angry
>hasnt messaged me all day, which is a first
Outside of this drama, she's actually an amazing friend. My life is millions of times worse than hers yet I still try my very hardest to help her through everything. I'm starting to think that she might be a lost cause. Her situation has made her obsessed with her physical appearance. She's a 25 year old virgin, works out almost everyday, is convinced that she's unattractive even though I think she's beautiful... and she claims that she cries for up to 10 minutes sometimes after she masturbates (???). Do you think it was wrong of me to be hard on her?
This bitch sounds like a major drama queen. She's got WAY too many sob stories to tell.
>>16950695
I'm trying to be nice about it but self injury should have been a big enough sign...
It's just a shame because, like I said, she's an incredible friend, when things are normal. I don't want to lose her but I guess she's too troubled and not tolerating/behaving properly. She told me right off the bat that she has a habit of pushing people away and she can't get herself to stop. She's a sexy woman and looks great even without makeup but is completely alone in life.
You are in a tough situation, people go so long feeling inferior, less valuable, developing low self-esteem that they forget what it is like to actually feel positive and feel good about themselves.
I don't think it was wrong of you to be "hard' on her, but understand that these types of people are triggered by any sign of hostility, their way of coping with all the negatives in their lives is simply to ignore them and shut them/people out. People like this will shut you out before you get a chance to fully explain your position.
With these types of people, it is better to be nurturing, and nice. The key to all this however, is to be critical and FIRM, establishing a safe and secure medium, while trying to convey your message in a "Nice" way without scaring them away that seems non-threatening to them.
Good luck
I need to stay awake and alert to write my dissertation. What available substances can I ingest to help me in my quest?
Caffeine and l-theanine
Drink coffee and water
Eat light food
>>16950684
stemgirl? kek nice
khorne approves this message
So it's currently my 2nd year as a computer engineering student, and I've been loving it so far. The work entices me, I have been doing well in all of the "weedout" classes, and I've been maintaining a decent social life to boot. There is no question I will enjoy the work provided I can find some. My college says that 90% of their engineering grads find work up to 6 months after college, according to a census they cast. However, I have extreme doubts about this. For those of you who are engineers out there, is the job market actually that good? I just don't want to go to college for 3 more years and find out it was all for nothing.
pic unrelated
If you want an engineering job, market or not you will find one.
"The economy" is the lazy college excuse for not trying to find work very hard. Also, "I sent out resumes, thats all I can do!".
Dig everywhere, phone everywhere, move if you have to.
Yes there will be work but you have to work to get it, this is the real "weedout" class
>>16950635
"90% find work" is very different from "90% find work in their field of choice".
Your ability to find a job will depend on a lot of things. Where you live is the highest on the list. Your flexibility is a close second. Some markets are growing while others are moving.
What worries me is that it sounds like you're going to a for profit college. You will have a harder time coming from a technical college than if you have proper accreditation and the ability to move forward with your studies.
>>16950975
Oh no the college's engineering program has the proper accolades and certifications. It is also very reputable within the state, and certain programs it has are nationally accredited. I don't want to disclose it because I reaaaeeally don't like giving away even the slightest shred of personal info on this website.
>>16950923
Thank you for the advice, this is also a valid point. Most people I know who got engi jobs had to look for them.
Have you ever had a relationship with someone much older? (Like 10 + years)
I'm in a relationship 4 and a half years now, with a woman almost 20 years older than me, and while she is much more mature and better as people of my age, I'm starting to get kinda bored. Like feeling like want to meet more girls etc.
Anyone with similar experiences?
>>16950602
i can relate. i was dating a women of 40 when i was 20. she was really nice and understanding at first but she became manipulative after a while, she was obsessed with the whole new age movement. best sex and best women i have probably been with though. how come you are starting to get bored of your partner?
I've tried now and again but trying has been more trouble than it's worth. Too many women getting egregiously offended that a 20something would dare make a pass at her. Then again I suppose that explains why they're single in the first place. But in any case I'd rather miss out than have a new headache every week.
On the topic of your particular problem, I think that has more to do with your age and maturity than her particular nature. If you really knew what you're looking for, either
a) you'd be content having found it with this woman and not have any reason to be curious about other girls, or
b) you'd be sure that your needs can only be fulfilled by more experiences and you wouldn't even need to ask the question on here in the first place.
I don't think you know what it is that you're really after from a relationship. And that's okay. It just means that you shouldn't be having relationships. You should date people casually. Relationships are a cost, a liability. I have no idea why you'd go out of your way to pay without even knowing why.
>>16950616
I just got bored of having sex with the same person for 4 years. I don't know if that happens because I'm 22 years old, and she was my first. I love her, and she loves me, and has done more things for me than my own mother, but still I can't help it but feel attracted / want to have sex witht other girls
AIs there a way to not sweat nervously in social situations, /adv/?
>>16950569
Beta blockers.
Even people without anxiety can have "nervous sweat." It's just your nervous system being a little too sensitive to adrenaline, which is a perfectly normal endocrine response to needing alertness and attention--like a social situation. Even if you're 100% calm you're still attentive and your mind is busy with what you're hearing and saying. Ultimately you need drugs to handle the problem directly. Alternatively you could use a microwave therapy to disable those sweat glands permanently.
benzos but only sometimes
Anyone here studying medicine/dermatology in general?
For the past couple of years i've been dealing with this issue as seen in the pic. I have patches of skin on my face that get red, dry, and start to peel/crack. I've tried various prescription creams over the years but none of them get rid of the problem or it just keeps coming back. The most recent cream I was prescribed made my face worse than its ever been and dried the fuck out of it, as a result almost my entire face was red and flaking skin.
Does anyone know what the condition is? I've come down to the possibility of rosacea or eczema, though I've read eczema doesn't really occur on the face.
Its genetic. Idk what the condition is called but my mom and cousin once removed has it. There is no permanent solution but creames work temporarily.
>>16950515
Yo, OP, I had something similar on my nose; skin peeling, redness
(actually pinkness, cause im black and the layer would peel off)
use selsun blue, i know its for hair, but i use the one w/ zinc in it, my skin has evened out back to its natural tone, and is now smoother than ever
I also use sulfur soap, as well as black soap to smooth skin and kill bacteria and such
good luck
>>16950515
Is that photo when it's at its worst?
Eczema looks more like a blister. It doesn't flake like that. Rosacea causes pus filled bumps and redness.
It make also just be dermatitis. Do you shave in the areas that it comes up? What products do you use on your face ?
Hi, just started dating this guy. I like him a lot already and we've already been really honest with each other. He has told me he's always wanted to be a girl, but he's never done it because he is too masculine (big boned, muscular, strong jaw) It's a really touchy subject for him so I don't know how to approach him with compliments. We call each other girlfriends already. From what I picture it, I just imagine him as a girl in a man's body.
I don't know how to compliment him. Is it okay to call him handsome? Should I call him pretty or beautiful? Can I tell him I like how feminine he is?
Thanks for the help!
There's only one person who knows the true answer to this question. Instead you're asking hundreds or thousands of other people to just guess.
ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND.
Are you a lesbo or bi? Because if you think you're not I have news for you.
I have what I'd like to refer to as barely tight foreskin,
I usually don't experience any pain when I masturbate or have sex if I use lubricant, but lately I've experienced the skin literally tearing, even with lubricant if I go at it too hard/often.
So the question I'm having is, should I get a circumcision now, or just live with it??
I'm 22 and I feel embarrassed just thinking about talking to a doctor about this.
If you get circumcised you'll lose thousands of nerve endings, the process was only implemented in NA to prevent masturbation (less pleasure while doing equals less masturbation apparently) and if you do get circumcised you'll need to use lotion EVERY time you masturbate.
>>16950291
It's called phimosis. Gently pull the foreskin back along the head towards your waist daily to get it to stretch out, and eventually it won't be a problem. This will take a while, however; I was fortunate enough to discover masturbation when I was about eight years-old and yanked the fucker so hard it slid back all at once, so I didn't have to grow up with it being a problem.
I've been struggling with my processing speed and short term memory for as long as I can remember.
I recently took an IQ test at my school that reaffirmed what I already knew, my two lowest scores were for my processing speed and my working memory. Even though I placed in the 99th percentile, not being to remember much in the short term and having a low processing speed makes me feel pretty stupid in day-to-day situations.
Does anyone have any tips for improving either? I'd rather improve my short term memory but anything is better than nothing.
Thanks, anons
8hrs sleep
b complex supplemnt
healthy diet, you know fruits, vegetables, not trashy food
>>16950226
>I'm going to brag about my IQ with the pretext that I'm concerned about these minor issues.
Go somewhere else for an ego boost, fag.
>>16950289
If I wanted an ego boost I'd be pretending that my score meant I was a genius and I didn't need any improvement.
Besides, the deviation from my working memory/processing speed subtest scores to my highest score is 25-35 points. It's a pretty large discrepancy.
TThere are 4 grown men in a cramped room right now bored out of their minds. We are in a cramped room. What they should do now?
Gay orgy
4 way orgy's are fucking boring cause 90% of the time they result in 1 on 1 sex per pair.
So just strangle the fattest guy and have a 3 way while sticking your foot in his penishole .
Anyone got some good ideas for asking a girl to prom? I still got like 1.5 months before it actually happens so that allots like a month of prep time if there are some crazy ideas out there.
"Hey you wanna go to prom with me?" worked fine for me.
>>16950215
Do this, and if get rejected, run to the nearest bathroom and hide in the stall. Squat on the bowl so other people can't see your feet.
Does anyone have any experience with the long fight with anxiety?
Almost in my 30s, been dealing with depression for a few years but only within these last several months have I been getting anxiety attacks. I typically have mild nausea/off stomach sensations throughout the day, very rarely does my stomach feel normal.
I've cut caffeine and alcohol, regularly take my SSRI medication, my work is somewhat active and I walk about an hour a day 5 days a week minimum. I've worked on understanding the 10 cognitive distortions and so on, and day to day it's been all right.
But when the panic attack does decide to hit, it's like my emergency benzodiazepines don't do anything to it even if I take one pre-emptively when I think I might get one. Ginger root/peppermint does nothing to ease my stomach's discomfort, and I usually end up throwing up.
It's frustrating because no matter how much I've put into this so far, nothing stops the panic attacks from randomly happening, and while I can tone down sensations of trembling/spasms, light-headedness, etc, I can't do anything to fix the nausea.
What have you guys done to improve your situation?
What are you usually doing when they happen?
I had mild shaking when more than 4 people would stare at me. The best way to combat it in my opinion is to not take meds and everytime you feel anxious about doing something, you have to do that thing.
Like, talk to a cashier, girl, do a presentation, ask someone for help, express feelings and fears openly to people etc.
That nervousness becomes a queue to conqeur whatever is making you nervous. Youll realize the nervousness has very little justification and a lot of small anxieties will go away woth your depression.
I reiterate, this is my opinion.
>>16950949
Strangely enough I'm usually out with my girlfriend, though rare times I can get them even when we're just relaxing together.
We used to go out on dates, see movies, go to restaurants, etc. As time went on I was getting really hit hard with nausea and for a long while we thought I was just getting sick off the food or something, until months later we discovered I was actually suffering from panic attacks.
It's particularly annoying because at times I'm not even thinking of anything that would be a cognitive distortion, or even negative in any means. Usually the first thing I get hit with is a hard wave of nausea that sends me to the bathroom, and it only gets worse from there.
I definitely try not to use the benzos very much due to their withdrawal symptoms, dependence factor, and their potential for abuse. I've only taken 9 pills in the last 3 months.
I guess it's mostly frustrating since a lot of the places I've got panic attacks are where nothing at all is concerning, much less things I haven't done before many times over in the past.
>>16951087
Just wild guessing, but could it be motion sickness from watching a screen or riding in a car? Is there any common factor in your panic attacks? It took me a long time to realize, but I get panic attacks from loud noises, like at restaurants. I wasn't even consciously aware that they were bothering me. Then one day I put in ear plugs and the panic went away. Maybe you have an inner ear problem or a hormone imbalance?
My toxic, lazy, habitually lying ex-boss got our entire team laid off due to his poor planning, hiring of unqualified friends, and general lack of properly reporting project requirements to us from the company's owner. (Also: not showing up half the time, stealing the petty cash, lying constantly, and so on and so on.)
All his former employees are struggling to find work, since the project failed. And yet, he just got a really excellent job at a big Bioware, despite having none of the required skills or a single recommendation (unless he's lying about it, which wouldn't surprise me.)
If he were being brought into a company I worked at, there would be no question about reporting his previous toxic behavior to HR. But I don't work at his new company... how often do companies listen to unsolicited feedback about new employees? Is it ethical? Would HR even bother taking a closer look if they saw a new red flag in his history, now that he's already hired?
I don't want to see him ruin more careers.
>>16949794
Don't bother. HR already did their "research" and they're not gonna admit to doing a poor job at it.
>>16949794
>working at bioware
i'd say he got what he deserved.
Is uni a friend where you make friends? Or is it just people to party with? The friends I have left in my hometown are all NEETs and I'm contemplating doing one or some more years in the army just because I'm afraid of not having any friends that are fun once i get home
You go to uni to meet people desu. You can bascially learn all the skills online or with text books reading them alone. University puts you in a situation where relationships and connections are made.
You can do both?
