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What can I do to help my sister, /adv/?
Everyone in my family has anxiety problems. My mom did, I did, my little sister does too. Panic attacks in public, bouts of agoraphobia, lack of ability to function in a social setting without bursting into treats. My mom has been trying out different meds for most of her life, but never liked any, so she chain smokes and that seems to help her. I tried a few when I was a teenager, notably Paxil, and hated how it made me feel, so I vowed to work through it otherwise (and I did, and function pretty much normally now).
My little sister took meds for it for several years growing up, but in adulthood seems to have decided she wants to cold turkey like my mom and I. She "self-medicates" with weed, but it's only made her paranoid and more or less batshit. She had to be institutionalized for two weeks when she came across country to visit, after some kind of psychotic break (one of her beliefs was that everyone was "forcing" her to take medication to make her "forget" and now "she knows"). Now she's thinking of getting on disability instead of going ahead with the college plans to be a mortician that she was so set in during high school. She's 19 right now, so she has plenty of time to get back on track.
I don't want my sister to be a NEET, /adv/. She's heading the way of the welfare queen like our older two sisters. If she gets used to something for nothing, I don't feel like she'll ever achieve what she used to want.
Is there any way to convince someone out of the NEET lifestyle? Are there any NEETs here that wish someone had said something, or done something, that might have put them off that track? What can I do to be a good older sibling in this situation? I don't want her to turn out like our shitty older sisters. I wanted her to be someone I could brag about, who I could send my kids over to her house to play, who could go travelling with me, where in old age we'd laughingly compete about whose grandkids are best.
Suggest to her that she go on disability and do one class at a time. She might start to like the school work and do more of it. Being NEET becomes very boring quickly.
>>16934963
I'm not sure if she can do both, since she'd have to be in campus housing to go to the college, and not continue living with the lady she's staying with. I guess it depends on how much she ends up getting. When I initiate contact with her again, I'll definitely be researching what's available for her with college. She hasn't even filled out the FAFSA yet, though.
She enjoyed school in high school, even took a few AP classes. Unfortunately she bombed the ACT with a 17 from not trying. I imagine her options are few now.
Hey there /adv/
I believe I have some serious issues with myself, and I'm at a loss of what to do in order to fix it.
Over the past year I've been attending both a group therapy for aspies, and a personal psychologist. They all say I'm developing my social abilities greatly, and that I'm hardworking and all that shit. However, I can tell my personality has taken a turn for the worse, given that I admitted that, in order to calm myself, I'd have to "destroy" something, with the ill intent of inflicting pain on something or someone. The first thing that comes to mind is to burn anything, and the only thing keeping me from doing that is both the repercusions of the action, and the evil of it. Even when I go around on the street, if anyone bumps into me, it's getting harder for me to not lose my head and start a fight right there, like if my emotions went out of control on a burst.
Up until now, I've been on several friendships, comraderies, groups to perform any kind of hobby, and literally all of them have either failed me on betrayed me. That, wihout mentioning the horrific and dreadful time I spent on highschool before entering college, as the nerd of the class, and as an outcast. I've tried my best to be pleasant to the eyes of everyone, wihout success, since no matter how much effort do I put on anything, it only takes one moment to let it be crumbled by someone else's egoism. Given this, it's getting harder and harder to both trust those who say "I'll never betray you" or among those lines, and to hold my character of chill and calm in order not to fall on something similar to a self-destructive rampage.
Following on next post
>>16934888
Also, even if I'm praised for what I'm doing; "Hey, nice cooking" "good clothes" "You are a kind person" "You've changed for the better" "You have a talent for negociation", I just can't believe it. While I see where do the comments come from, I can't bring myself to believe them, nor believe anything of the "happy-go-lucky" people that think all can be solved by believing in oneself or some anime shit reasoning. If anything goes wrong, and even if others try to tell me it's not my fault, I can't help but think that either I'm the one at fault, or they think deep down that I'm the one to blame, and that they aren't saying anything out of having putrid simpathy... Heck, even if I am going out every weekend with beautiful women that look interested in me, I just can't believe it's just because so; I can't help but suspect they want something from me, since, fuck, what do I have on myself that could interest anyone?
I myself know that I'm messed up for thinking all like this, and while I want to try to change it, every time I try to make a step forward to try and change, I end up going further back, or at least, it's what it seems to me. I'm in not a bad position of finances, I have a house, family, some friends, but I can't step out of this huge slump that fear and betrayals have put me into.
What am I supposed to do, anons; should I give in and destroy both myself and everyone around me, seeking some kind of justice or equilibrium? Should I just stop trying so hard on everything so that people does not abandon me? What can I do to believe or trust on the positive stuff? Or what else is there to do?
>>16934888
Congratulations on trips, but 4chan can't help you with socializing. They can't help themselves.
>some anime shit reasoning
You'll get a lot on this here.
I need some input.
>meet a guy
>things are amazing
>he goes a bit distant, speaking habits change
>keep arranging to see each other again
>he cancels two times due to sleeping issues
>rearrange to this weekend
>this weekend comes, he has a cold (confirmed), I suggest rearranging to next weekend to allow recovery time
>he suggests tomorrow, almost adamant about it
>tomorrow (today) comes, hear nothing, hasn't been active in over 24hrs (this rarely happens)
>no explanation, no contact, not sure what to do
>explain I'm not upset, I just want to know what's going on, still no response
What do I do? I'm at my wits end with this person. I really want things to work and my first instinct is to just continue to give him the benefit of the doubt but it's all so confusing. More in next post to avoid wall of text.
I've suggested that maybe we call it a day as I'm starting to doubt his interest but he assures me things are fine and I'm the only good thing in his life at the moment. He is nearly always the one to suggest a date and tells me he's looking forward to seeing me.
There could be somebody else because we're not "official" as far as I know, but I have a feeling he would probably tell me about this if it was the case, as we've been friends for a long time and he doesn't gain anything from pulling me along.
I want to trust him, as I don't see why a person would repeatedly plan a date they know they are going to cancel. I could maybe understand it if I was the one pushing it and they just didn't want to upset me, but it's him who asks about it.
I've spent the entire day feeling sorry for myself, crying over something that is utterly ridiculous. However, this is just how it's starting to make me feel, like I can't look forward to seeing the person because I know they're probably going cancel.
Can anybody give any theories as to why they're behaving like this?
>>16934861
Some people just like playing games. I understand once or twice because shit happens, but after this many times, you gotta move on to another guy.
Is suffocating in your sleep normal?
Sometimes when I sleep, I'll have a dream where I know I'm awake. And when I do, I'm usually paralysis'd but also I cannot breathe through my nose. My nose will clog up during the night and it makes it hard to breathe.
Is this normal for anybody?
>>16934787
You've got at least three spearate things going on here.
1. A clogged nose. Check for allergies (flowers, pets,dust, etc). Make sure the air in the room is not too dry. And maybe get an anti-snoring strip to keep your nose open.
2. Apnea. It is not uncommon to "skip a breath" while sleeping, and that can affect your dreams or wake you up. Google apnea for more information.
3. Panic because you didn't know about 1 and 2. The more you know about what is going on, and do things to lessden/stop it, the less scary it will be.
>>16934830
I've always thought it was sleep apnea, but I've noticed my nose gets stuffy whenever this happens.
Also, can a guy who weighs 179 lbs and is 5'7 get sleep apnea?
Hi /adv/
I'm responsible for providing gifts to people attending and speaking at an undergrad research conference that I'm helping organize.
The conference doesn't have a super cohesive topic as it is mainly a showcase for a wide amount of undergrad work, but most of it is humanities and social science.
I have a budget of around $400 and we are expecting about 75-80 people.
I was wondering what sort of gifts would you guys give to guests at an event like this?
Previous years have been given things like notebooks and nice wooden pen cases.
Suggestions would be very much appreciated.
(gif unrelated)
I imagine something super shitty like a 32Mb flash drive and a pen with the college's name on it.
You might want to ask your college's book store if they have any leftover stock that's slated to be thrown away. Or what they have in bulk for cheap.
>>16934696
book tokens
Amazon gift certificates
autographed book by the keynote speaker
how the fuck do you stop thinking about somebody? I got dumped and all mechanisms of my brain are fine with it but there's remnants of bitterness and I have dreams and sometimes at night think about them and get angry.
It's been way too long for me to still care.
Throw away the memories.
Places you gone to...must go. (You must go)
Memories are comfort. Remember to get used to it
Don't TRY to stop thinking about it. Go through you're normal day, and the trivialities of daily life will get rid of them for you.
Alright /adv/ I fucked up. I did some research and decided to book an appointment with a private lap dancer for the first time (never done anything like this before).
But I forgot to specify that I only want a half hour, and she probably is assuming I want a full hour. I'm already kind of nervous and I don't want there to be any tension going into this thing.
How do I proceed? Email her now with the correction or discuss it when I show up next Tuesday?
>>16934437
>Email her now with the correction
yes
>>16934441
Ok, thanks anon.
Guys i need help. I was depressed since i was a child. Last year i finally went to therapy and got medication. After a year my life was stable enough to fade the ssri's out again. But now i life in constant danger that everything is going to fall appart again. And just today i am loosing all hope. I had NO nerves. I'm babysitting my my nephews (3 and 1) in addition to my son (4). I was already on the edge cause i got very bad news at work and they seemed to catch up on that and truly did every dumb shit they could think off. I was so close to hit them... And i feel fucking guilty about it. It's just that on top of that i got a message from my sons nanny that she's going to start working out of her home again so i will not be able to bring him in again in a few weeks. Meaning that i can't work anymore, meaning that i won't have any monye anymore, you see where this is going. I juat can't take this anymore. It's way too much for me. And then i find that the brats have spilled a whole bottle of water under the bed onto the carpet. Have stuffed a whole role of toilettpaper down the toilett, have raided my baking bantry and have spilled all my sugar decoration under the sofa. And so on. Today is cleaning/laundry day too and i tried to get some work done too but whenever i don't look at them they find another dumb thing to do. What the fucking hell am i even supposed to do...
Update. They just threw a whole bottle of marbles on the ground and the downstairs neighbour came up and yelled at me. I was so fucking mad cause i told them seconds before that if they want to play with the marbles they need to make sure they don't bounce on the floor cause that's way too loud. I just hit my son. Fml... I guess this is it. I'm officially the worst parent in human history...
>>16934388
Whoa.. Take it easy and prioritise man..
Some things can wait, other things you don't have control over anyway. Whatever is left over put it in some order of importance and consider that some people have it a lot worse than you.
Remember to take a break too. Go outside in the sun, or let out some emotions. You'll feel better.
anyone have ideas for csgo scams?
use the dota 2 item scamm
dumb fagggot scammer fuck off
How do you get over the anxiety of hanging out with friends because you worry they will get bored of you, or realize how much of a loser, pervert, fuckup, etc. you are?
Thing is I am pretty much alone all the time, and don't have any real hobbies or money to do niormalfag things. I have opportunities to meet up with new friends and reunite with old ones, but am anxious as I don't know what we would do except eat out and go for a walk together.
>>16933417
by doing it anyway. all great things were accomplished despite the anxiety, not due to a lack of it.
if you think yourself a loser, than fix that. its a long process, but you make friends along the way. if you think you are a pervery, reign in your perverted remarks, but own the ones you do make. dont be embarrassed, but dont be obnoxious. i once met a guy who could play off liking scat because he was calm and collected. gross, but calm.
>fuck up
stop fucking up, but you can just make other fuck up friends.
>no hobbies
invest in this. if you can have fun alone, you can have fun with people after all.
>>16933417
Kids shows can help with this. My kid watches Daniel Tiger. They have one song which is simply
>I like you. I like you. I like you just the way you are.
When you get down to toddler level you realize that true friendships are just about being able to get along together. Not about where you can go or what you have or what you can do, just about getting along.
And it goes back to that tired cliche, you can't be loved until you love yourself.
If you don't like or love yourself, you will constantly be second guessing the people who like or love you. You will never be content to trust in the fact that people like you for who true and nothing else. So you will always end up inadvertently sabotaging yourself. You eventually teach people how to treat you, if you put up with shit, then they continue treating you like shit. If they treat you nicely, and you are weird about it, then you make them feel weird.
People don't like it when they feel weird.
>go to a bullshit community college for 2 years
>become a Pediatric nurse at a quaint pediatric clinic
>put a thermometer in a kid faking sick to avoid school
>$63,000 starting, easy, non-gross nursing opportunities that range from $80k on after a few years
So, how come you won't follow my lead?
with a few years as a 2 year degree nurse, you can go on to make around $70k-$80k+ as a 'nurse manager' or as a nurse that makes sure the hospital is functioning at a healthy environment
It's engineer salary range without melting your brain. Take the medical pill, bros
>>16933342
cuz most people will do this, end up being shoehorned into a regular nursing position, and never leave. its good advice, but when it comes to things you gotta aim for a FIELD you like, not one specific job within a field you like. otherwise you will spend most of your career hating yourself.
>So, how come you won't follow my lead?
Oh trust me, plenty of people are. Let's talk in 5-10 years when you need to retool though once they deem your "paper" outdated.
K so I want to make some Android apps. However, I have no fucking clue how. The official android developer tutorials were kinda shit because they didn't tell you anything and simply babies you through your first code that didn't do shit. It helped me understand SOME of it, but it still looks like fuckin dog shit to me. Where can I ACTUALLY LEARN how android app making works, are there any tutorials online about this shit?
Inb4 yes I know enough java to make android apps. The problem isn't my lack of knowledge of it, it's that I don't know any of the tools that the android SDK has to make the apps.
go ask /g/ or /r/android you'll probably get better help there.
>>16933261
Do you want programming knowledge in general? Because the best way to learn something new is to do some fairly light preliminary research and just dive right in. Seriously, type out what you think will work, compile, fix errors, repeat. Reading the documentation helps ALOT, but actually writing, NOT copy pasting, is the way to go.
Here's this anyways:
http://programming-motherfucker.com/become.html
What are the symptoms of bipolar? The less obvious ones.
Don't know about "less obvious"; if you have mood swings that last for hours or days, and the pattern's been going on for months, consider professional help. Get help anyway if you think you have it.
One subtlety is that there are two tentative types of it, I and II. Look them up. (TL;DR: In I, your highs consist of flipping the fuck out and potentially need hospitalization. II, you're elevated but nothing as extreme.)
Before I was diagnosed I ended up hospitalized. I thought I was being recruited by the NSA. I thought I was highly intelligent. Found out on the backend I was just having a manic episode. Since the I have gone through small bouts of depression. I still look back in envy at the mania I felt. It was better than any drug. I drink now, but I'm not really supposed to. I maintain a stable job. I'm just trying to answer as many potential questions for bipolar annon that I can. There really is strength in numbers.
Hello /adv/ short time lurker, first time poster. i have a problem /adv/, my life has stalled.
i graduated from univ a couple of months ago with my bachelors in psych, debt free and with honors. the only problem is i was so focused on my studies that i didn't plan ahead on what to do next ( or have much of a social life outside my friends/roomates and club activities). Fast forward a couple of months later and im back at my parents house wondering what the hell im going to do with my life. im so frustrated because not only do i not know what to do or where to go or even what i rally want, but i cant even progress with my life.
i cant really date because in addition to my problems with talking to women and asking them out and general shyness (which im working on, i paid a random attractive women a compliment the other day and i figure if i can do that then asking someone out is the next logical step)i don't know where to meet them and i cant really bring them back to my house and my schedule more or less revolves around everyone else either helping them in some fashion or going to work with my father every couple of days or even just the car situation (three of us and only 2 cars and my father takes one to work pretty much everyday). my parents have been very supportive about all this but iv got to be one to pick a path and im not sure what to do.
i feel that if i go back to uni to try and get my Masters or PHD ill do fine academically and with renewed confidence i might even finally be able to start dating. but going back just seems like a holding action, iv no real end goal and in 2,3,4 years ill be back to square one. i could see about a career but im not really sure in what or how to get it. all this combined with my paralysis analysis is making me a frustrated wreck. any advice on what to do with my life in regards to education/career/ social life/ whatever.
>>16932918
time to nut up and get a job nigga. now you get to face the real world like the rest of us proles.
more school is a poor choice desu imo. you graduated without debt but with little other positives, don't change that for the worse.
With your bachelors you could become a QMHA. Basically a social worker.
Look into what you could do for a masters in that field, like different types of therapy, research, etc, there are a lot of options out there. Maybe talk to a counselor at the school you graduated from about potential career options.
Hi...
not sure if asking for advice, empathy or anything at all, but my life has been spiraling down for quite some time now. For months, I´ve been watching sitcoms to raise my mood or gaming, sometimes telling friends parts of what troubles me, but all of that just works for a very short while.
Now I won´t write everything here, but maybe I just need to pour the most important parts out somehow.
I´ve been working my ass off for years to get to a point where I´m skilled enough to do my "dream job", even though my family is always in dire straits (for years and years) and I had to work and study at the same time, I got to the point of actually getting the job, only to find out about an injury/damage that interferes with my capability to do it and may cause me to change the job soon (even though after the 1st larger project, my boss told me he wants me to stay) and I don´t know if I´ll be able to handle it, (since if it doesn´t get well, I may not be able to do this job or quite a few others).
Then there are problems in family etc. with which nothing is being done, no matter how much I urge or try to do something or how I try myself (not that I would make much of a difference).
And to top it off, I lost the most of my (not so big) social life I had. Maybe because I´m getting depressed a "bit", maybe because I worked too much on everything else I forgot how to meet new people or how to actually communicate (then there´s the thing of low tolerance for idiots).
Even my last (and actually the first in about two years and really nice) date stopped communicating a day after we went out for the first time (just stopped, no reason, no explanation), though I look good, have good manners and I think I have quite a few things to offer..
Funny thing is, people around me and my friends (smart nice people, whom I sadly see only once in a longer while) often tell me they look up to me, that I inspire them.
They have no idea how much I envy them what they have...
I'm really sorry to hear that anon.
About your injury. If someone tells that you can't do something try to prove them wrong. You don't know until you try. Don't give up on your dreams just on a "maybe"
The maybe is about the possibility to heal (and the time it could take while I still have to work at least sometimes), the injury is already causing problems, that´s why I´m so down....
Nevertheless thank you for reading, even if its tldr.
