Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1168. page
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How do I make friends with people in a completely new social environment. New state where I don't know anyone, and my coworkers, while very nice people, are all well into their 40's or getting married.
I've been told by my friends that I tend to come off like I'm better than people and look down on it. I've tried fixing this but doesn't really help that I have a very sarcastic, dry sense of humor.
Every time I meet new people I try to be as friendly and open to everything as possible, and will often try to make plans to do things...
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>>16950092
OP, sorry to say, but people honestly can't or don't plan things anymore, at least not any millennials. You basically have to just show up at their place unannounced to actually do shit. I really wouldn't take it personally. Due to the internet and social media we are all becoming increasingly antisocial. If you're lucky you'll meet someone with one actual hobby, but everyone else just works 9-5, commutes, goes home eats dinner, and sleeps, effectively living day by day. It's why those...
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>>16950202
This
Basically with my friends if we're gonna hang out we call it in like 2 hours before hand and if you don't go you don't go, ifs rare we plan anything
People aren't as interesting as they claim or are perceived to be. 70-90% of the population are incredibly boring, simple people. They don't travel, they don't explore, they don't have varied interests. They just eat, work, sleep, and fuck. It's the reason working out is so popular as a "hobby". It's complete tedium. Do X reps of Y weight Z times, or just job on treadmill for X minutes. It's got many benefits of course, but it's something literally any idiot can do so long as they aren't disabled.
The world has become...
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Would you date someone who's biggest flaw was their face?
>good body
>great family life
>loyal
>intelligent
>makes a good salary
>happy person in general
>ugly 3-4/10 face
Could you do it? What about your kids?
I`ve seen some ugly people having beautiful kids. Anyway, just imagine if this us what you want to wake up to every morning. Fuck the ”that`s shallow to dismiss someone over their face”, because the truth is that sexual attraction is one of the building blocks of a good and healthy relationship.
>inb4 sex is not everything
ONE of the building blocks.
Teenage here, if we "clicked" I would.
>>16950088
Honestly? Probably not, unless I REALLY liked their personality.
So, I need some advice...
I'm applying for financial aid to a local community college -- going for a quick certificate program, total cost will be about $2000.
So, financial aid requires me to submit some tax forms. I'm an independent so they don't need my parents info. Thing is, I didn't do taxes because I had no income last year. Well, not exactly. I did some side projects and was paid through paypal. I made very little, not enough for paypal to report what I made to the irs. I didn't even think about filing until I found out the 'self...
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>Now, what I'm wondering is, is there any way for the financial aid folks to know about the cash I have in paypal? Or will I be fine reporting no income and get my aid to do this certificate program?
If the IRS finds out, financial aid will find out because typically the money you get from fafsa is federal(pell grant/stafford loan) and you'll be liable to pay it back.
Of course, you COULD still amend your taxes and refile your FAFSA submission but this is /adv/ and good advice is for faggots.
>>16950046
This guy sound like an asswipe, but he's right. Chances are that they'll make you go get an income statement from the irs.
Be sure to make an appointment and don't wear boots or you'll have to remove them when going through the metal scanners
Google the number for requesting an appointment
>>16950046
>>16950059
If they make me get an income statement from the IRS, is there any way for the IRS to know or find out about the cash I have in paypal? There is no paper trail connecting me with the people who paid me, it's all on paypal, and paypal doesn't report your income unless you make $20,000 and more than 200 sales.
Or could I just go for an income statement reporting zero income and be fine?
If I could only build better habits my life would be amazing. I just get so lazy and let things slide. What do you guys do to make yourselves do what you know you need to on a daily basis?
I don't want to be like this anymore. I know I can better myself. Building better habits general?
I don't do anything. I just act. There isn't one singular thing that makes you like this, it's more like a series of epiphanies over a period of time that eventually change the makeup of your character.
>>16950036
So I have less or more control over it than I think? Or is the nature of my control different than I seem to think?
>>16950049
http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html
i first read this article years ago and it was very helpful to understanding and recognizing the symptoms of procrastination. of course, over the years other things have affected me too(quitting games and anime, getting a job, interacting with real people and having IRL problems) but it's a decent start.
Lets make it quick. Ive fallen for someone who has been dating for 6 months now and her boyfriend has not been paying attention to her at all, he always goes out drinking and she often calls me up at night because she can't talk to her boyfriend.
She doesn't want to dump him though, she has a lot of feelings for him and i have a lot of feeling for her. What does someone do in this situation?
pump and dump
>>16950015
cancer
>>16950008
>What does someone do in this situation?
By all means, continue to enable her emotionally unsatisfying relationship with her boyfriend by being her supportive, reliable conversational companion. You can look forward to years of talking to her while he spends years fucking her.
So, I recently was released from the hospital.
I fell, knocked my head, lost conscoiusness, suffered a concussion and had a small amnesia (forgot about half of the day, nothing too spectacular)
>But now I feel different, like I woke up a slightly different person than I was before
>It's often subtle, but my decisionmaking and regular thinking is different than before
>still woke up to only my family being happy because I'm healthy again. My so called "friends"...
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>>16949974
>still woke up to only my family being happy because I'm healthy again. My so called "friends" didn't even bat an eye
the fact that you're surprised marks you as a dumbass in my book and thus, not worthy of my /adv/ice.
have a nice day princess
>>16949974
Yes. Some studies show long-term depression can occur from even minor head trauma. The brain is a complicated thing, and losing consciousness, suffering from amnesia, and getting a concussion are not small minor or a little deal, it's a very serious head injury. good luck.
>>16949974
Can you give some examples of differences?
I think that changes to the brain risk changes to personality.
I'm always thinking about the cringy things i did in life. Not depressed or suicidal, but but it kind of takes a toll on my self confidence. Any of you have been through this?
>>16949957
i do this too, i think it's kind of normal.
on the other hand, it humbles a person. if i see something cringe-worthy happen to someone else, i give them a pass because i've probably done a bunch of regrettable things too.
Every time you think of something cringe, just remember you aren't those autists in those minecon videos
Embarrassment is, regrettably, a natural part of your brain chemistry. I read a paper about this once and it said that since humans evolved in communities of around 20-100 people it provided the evolutionary advantage of reinforcing social cohesion by preventing people from acting too far out of social norms.
Just try to ignore it if you can.
My gf txt'd me that she felt unwell while cleaning the bathroom and that her lungs were burning and she felt dizzy. I came home and I think she's dead. Now I'm feeling really dizzy.
Ambulance on it's way.. did she make swamp gas?
probably mixed ammonia and bleach
>>16949935
Bleach and ammonia and agitating it by scrubbing?
Yep.
OP here.. she's dead. I have to go.
How to get into a routine? Am an ex-computer addict from like 2010-2015 and am now trying to turn my life around at school.
Managed to scrape decent grades in my exams last year and am hoping to do flawless this year, problem is I can't get myself to work for more than 20 mins at a time.
I have this mental block that just restrains me from it, just some sort of mechanism that reminds me of all the shit relationships I have and how much better I could be doing had I made better decisions before.
Its really bugging me, and people are calling me lazy because...
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>>16949916
>I have this mental block that just restrains me from it, just some sort of mechanism that reminds me of all the shit relationships I have and how much better I could be doing had I made better decisions before.
Forget the past and the shit relationships. The only thing that matters is the present moment and what you're doing with it. You have to work past this mental block, because putting the work in is what's going to put distance between you and whatever mistakes you've made.
>>16949951
You're right anon. Its just when I go over the point of life to myself, I consider the things I'm doing which benefit myself and my peers. I'm pretty used to intimidating and envious characters and just feel the need to entertain and stabilize their ego. Its like normal for me around others to be the doormat, to the point where its considered me being the 'asshole' simply making a subtle disagreeing statement.
>>16949985
But what does this have to do with not being able to put extended work in?
I am starting counselling in a few weeks for an anxiety disorder.
I get quite nervous when I try to explain things that affect me and it's more of a miss than it is a hit. I never quite say what I mean. I was wondering if I could write down how I've been feeling about things or whether my therapist will want me to say things out loud anyway.
Anyone has got experience with this?
>>16949899
Nope but write down and if he still wants you to say it out loud tell him you're uncomfortable with that.
He'll accept because he won't want to cause you feel uncomfortable. If he is a good therapist, that is.
If he isn't, change therapist.
>>16949899
If it makes it easier for you a good therapist will accept it as a start, but will eventually encourage you to speak it out. But keep in mind that it is kind of their job to make people comfortable enough to tell things about themselves and they ask questions leading from easier ones to the more difficult ones to manage this. It might not be as big of a problem as you think now. I went for a while because of depression and while I didn't really know how to explain myself in the beginning it got easier relatively quickly. I'd say give it a shot first and see what it's like and then if you still think writing would be easier, suggest it to your therapist.
>>16950540
>>16950550
This, basically.
What are some easy to get payday loans or credit cards that have really high interest rates or whatever?
I'm going to kill myself and want to enjoy a week or so before I do it.
So what are some credit cards and stuff I can get easily for someone who already has bad credit? (I owe a lot in medical bills)
thanks in advance!
>>16949894
payday loans and cash advances. also try dealerships with no-credit no-problem signs they'll usually be desperate so pass then the downpayment from cash advances and you'll be fine.
also for even more cash use pawn stores, sell EVERYTHING you got again use this money to add to downpayment to above cars or whatever.
>>16949901
So go to a car dealership after I sell my 3DS and laptop? That's all I own.
>>16949907
what's the matter princess, suddenly not feeling YOLO anymore?
Is it normal that my best friend is distancing herself from me cuz she got into a relationship a few weeks ago? I'm happy for her but at the same time I feel betrayed in some way. Should I tell her my thoughts? Am I just too sensitive or what? Is it because I'm a guy?
>>16949876
Yes, it's normal. Yes, it's because you're a guy. Her guy is going to want more of her time and she's going to want to give it to him.
I used to have tons of single girl friends. Now that I'm married I've pretty much moved on from all those friendships. It's just something you trade in.
Whining to her about it won't change it. She's moved on, best you do too.
Don't know about normal but I can see how it happens. You've not been betrayed. If you're really her friend you'll give her her space. Otherwise you're going to make her feel like she has to choose between you or her bf, and that's not fair to her.
>>16949906
Sure it's fair, she'll just choose the bf. That's actually already happening/happened.
How do I become a more confident speaker, socially and in front of strangers?
I find that I can look people in the eye almost steadily, but stammer a lot and trip myself up when I try to speak fluently.
misaki was exactly right. for people with extreme confidence issues they must treat others with the utmost contempt.
>>16949808
That only works with people my age.
With older people, I crumble.
>>16949822
it works with older people to you just haven't perfected it. if anything it works better because you have the FUGGIN OLD PEOPLE card.
honestly dude, it was super fucking hard at first because i was the very shy and quiet kid but over the years ive learned that people fucking love it. for some reason their minds think that because you think you're better that means you ARE better and you'll have them start tiptoeiing around you and seeking you out more.
totally fucking bizarre but truth...
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Hey /adv/.
I'm pretty sure you guys get threads like this on the regular but this issue has been bothering me for quite some time.
I'm ugly. Incredibly ugly. So ugly to the point where the only way I could improve the way I look is by plastic surgery. This kind of shit has never gotten to me until recently. I've started noticing people making comments about how my round face, my ugly nose, my disgusting head shape and so on. It's even gone to the point where people just look at me in disgust and sometimes even "quietly" (not really)...
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>>16949793
I have a weird-shaped face too and ppl look at me as though I were an alien. I just got used to it, altough it hurts sometimes. :/
>>16949793
Post a pic, and then I'll give advice, and feedback. After that build-up, I feel like I'm being teased.
Do you plan on plastic surgery?
It's only your ego associating itself with your appearance. The sad part is you haven't realized how much more you're worth than just your looks.
I'm sure you're a good hearted dude, just hold on to your virtues and work from there my dude. You're more than just your looks what what somebody has to say about them.
It is not normal to push away the people you like, isn't it?
Pic not related.
Yea if you're 10
>>16949785
Depends.
When you like someone, you begin to trust them, thereby making yourself more vulnerable to them.
Sometimes, people who dislike this vulnerability isolate themselves in order to reduce the chances that their friend will betray them or hurt them.
This is common in people with anxiety.
>>16949785
what exactly do you mean? Do you deliberately avoid and/or antagonize people you like.
