Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 112. page
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Hey /adv/. I've not been here in about 4 years. I don't have any friends I can trust to talk about this so I've hit rock bottom. I'm coming to 4chan for advice.
I recently fell in love with a girl, and she fell in love with me. I'm not very attractive, some call me ugly, some say I'm weird looking. She's cute but kind of chubby. She's also late on her period. I am absolutely shitting myself and I have nobody to talk to about it. She says she'll have an abortion if she's pregnant. I'm pro-life and this is really putting my philosophy to test because I also don't want to have a child.
I'm really scared. I'm 22yo and she's only just turned 19. The fuck do I do? She's in another country and says she'll take a test when she gets back. I live in my parents attic and work in retail, so I've really fucked my life up.
>>17344134
do you really want to raise a fucking kid at your age ? You really want to fuck up your whole life up because "hurr abortion = murder". It's not too late, if she's willing to abort don't stop her you imbecile, in the end it's her decision.
>>17344149
Sorry. I'm really bad at expressing myself. I plan on fully supporting her abortion, I was just asking on advice on how to deal with the sadness that it will bring me.
>>17344134
if you think this will be something you will regret the rest of your life, then don't abort the child. put it up for adoption as a last resort, but don't kill another human.
at the least, you can always find a way to ask for the kid back when your life is more stable. don't do something you will always regret for the rest of your life.
Basically be me.
Have shit past, extreme depression in college etc. Lose all friends, become loner etc.
Then go back to school after a break. Look mature, have beard. And I am getting an insane amount of female attention.
Random girls looking at me and pouting, purposely leaving their assignments on top of my binders. Girls fighting if they see me give more attention to one girl over another.
Girls eye fucking me. Giggling, making excuses to work with me. One girl even moved sections to work in my group in lab...
But, i have absolute zero self esteem.
I look at my self in the mirror and feel like i look retarded.
Bad depression, sometimes I sit in class and zone out to the past / feel like shit.
Living with sister for another two weeks until I move out finally and start a new life.
Problem is. I'd like to be friends atleast, if not anything further with this jewish girl I work with. What do I do? i have no fucking past I can talk about (sexual / physical abuse makes for shitty stories). And I duno what to talk about? basically what do I produce out of my mouth to get rid of my loneliness and become friends with these girls? i dont even want sex I am desperate for friendship. Still duno what they see in me.
1st world problem/humble bragging
op here. Its possible I was always a chick magnet I just didn't notice before. Anyways yeah, idk what the fuck to say to these women, I am so fucking embarrassed of my past. If they ask me about shit I can't just keep lying...
>>17344128
no I am suicidal man I sit in my room fucking day dreaming 24/7. I need help with this shit dude, I dont even care about women I can use a male friend even. When they talk to me about tatoos and shit I have nothing to say
I really need to vent and couldn't think of any other place where I'd feel comfortable sharing my thoughts, so here I am. I know this board is already full of this shit, but fuck it. This may get long. You don't have to read this or give advice, it doesn't matter. It just want this off my chest.
I just don't know what to do with this life. I feel lost, I don't know what I want, I don't even know myself. I'm confused. Nothing makes sense and I can't seem to find a path to follow, so I just stay where I am, doing nothing in particular.
I also feel completely alone. I haven't had friends in years and I don't know how to be a friend or how to even talk with people anymore, beyond some small talk. I'm in my mid 20s now. I can't help but feel that nobody gives a fuck about me, or if they act like they care, it's not genuine. Of course they don't care, because I can't open up nor establish any kind of close bond with anybody. Well, maybe my parents and sister care. That and my fear of death are the main reason I don't just go jump off a bridge.
I feel boring, stupid and ugly most of the time. I try my best to look pretty and sometimes I look in the mirror and feel kinda cute or hot. Then in the next moment I look again and feel terribly ugly. I hate my nose, my eyes, my whole face, my body. I spend way too much time in front of the mirror, it's becoming like some obessive compulsion. I have just found someone I really honestly like and want to know better. I'd tell him I like him, but feeling ugly, boring and dumb all the time makes me feel absolutely worthless. Like I didn't deserve him and he couldn't possibly like me back. I get this desperate desire to connect, that I never had before, and it's made my life worse than ever.
>>17344076
continued
Yeah I guess I'm depressed, have serious self esteem problems and whatnot. I haven't told any of this to anybody, because I'm scared. I don't even know what I'm scared of... maybe the possibility that after I spill my heart out to someone, they just don't fucking care. That maybe they just pretend, but don't actually care, and that's the worst and loneliest feeling ever.
>>17344076
If your life is a shot already and you have nothing to lose just give it a try. Don't jump to the guy, just try to be more friendly and flirt a bit. You can do it anon!
>>17344076
I'm in the same boat man, I can relate to pretty much everything you just wrote. I know it's hard to find the motivation but try to work on yourself. Fix yourself small goals, exercise, eat healthy, read, maybe pick a hobby. It looks shitty now but with time it'll get better, you just need to rewire your brain and take baby steps.
I really like short girls, but I'm 6'0. I know this is subjective, but what would the majority of them think of this? Also short anons feel free to share as well.
>>17344059
I don't think any women would tell you she likes a short guy...
>>17344059
Women like tall, muscular men. Get to the gym asap, chump
>>17344072
I'm ROTC M8
My fictional crush (unlike any of my family, who enjoy making fun of, insulting, and berating me every chance they get) treats me with respect. And I know that sounds very strange considering the fact that he isn't real, but he's become an imaginary (boy)friend of sorts.
It started out as strange, random, extreme sexual attraction that I had never in my life felt before. Because I was unaware of what sexual attraction felt like beforehand, I didn't know what it was or how to handle it. I pushed everyone away almost completely within the first few months of meeting them. I don't think I had ever felt so alone.
I was so angry with him for the longest time. I wanted to kill him, to just sink a huge steak knife into his chest, but I couldn't.
I "banished" him for three days after that. During those three days, I was never more suicidal. I dreaded visiting the bathroom because every time I would, I'd consider slitting my wrists. I just didn't feel alive anymore. I felt so ugly, so worthless, so useless.
I've dated people during this dilemma, but what sucked the most about that was that I would have to cut off our imaginary relationship in order to attend to the current boyfriend.
Over time, it developed into something so much more meaningful than mindless lust. He listens to me, cares about me, and knows my worth.
I use a body-length pillow to make it truly feel like I'm kissing him and cuddling him and such. We've even showered together. We talk and generally enjoy each other's company. Now, I suppose that I live somewhat of a second life.
I know something's wrong with me. I know this isn't normal. But, for now, it's what makes me happy.
But I also know that I can kinda lean on him to get me through the day. It's come to the point where I'd literally die for him.
I don't know if this is self-centered or a sin or WHAT.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who is this way, but hey, if anyone else lives their lives like this, feel free to let me know.
>Tulpas
How old are you?
That's delusions. You're crazy.
Hey /adv/,
I don't know what to do. I've know my best friend since I was 15. (grill, 8.5/10) I had a huge crush on her for about 6 months and she ended up kissing me. We were kinda a thing for a few months but realized it wouldn't work out and broke up a few days before my 16th birthday. She lived and still lives over an hour away so it just didn't work. I got over her really quickly, but I still love her as a best friend. I'm perfectly fine with being friend zoned. 3 years later she has a boyfriend that I think is generally pretty cool. Fun to play Xbox and Steam with but also a little emo and fuk boi. I went over to visit her after I got out of my freshman year of college over a month ago. We were cuddling watching movies and shit like normal and we just look at each other and she kisses me. And we made out for hours until I left. We've made out every time since then. Haven't had sex because I'd rather wait till marriage or be with a girl I will marry. (Inb4 Christian Conservative faggot who doesn't want to have fun in life) I just feel guilty. Her boyfriend really loves her and she's going behind his back to be with me. I don't even like her like that. She's somehow convinced herself that this isn't cheating and I don't know what to do... I can't just ditch her, she's my best friend and one of the few reasons I wake up happy in the mornings. Any advice?
>>17344048
What a Christian Conservative faggot who doesn't want to have fun in life...
Have you tried talking to her?
>>17344100
Of course but she immediately changes topics or claims it isn't cheating. I don't want to push it to where we end up fighting.
>>17344156
It sounds like you may need to force this conversation, even if a conflict ensues. If you don't, you're going to be stuck in this situation until shit hits the fan, one way or another. You may not have to break it off entirely if you can convince her this wrong, or at least that it's making you uncomfortable.
What should I say? She is hear for the summer so am I.
I don't even play that game? I have a date with her later tonight
"let's just see how it goes and what it turns into. Oh and I don't play pokemon GO, do you?"
>>17344047
I did that lets see how it goes
waiting for results
I have a gf that does not know about my time spent on obscure places on the net (both tor and clear net). She has skewed opinions about sites like 4chan, anything deep web, and sometimes even YouTube. However, for the past few years I have been subtly pushing her in the direction of a memer's life and/or a tor network dweller. I dont intend on turning her into a robot from /r9k/ or a NEET. We're still wagecucks for now :)
Being an anti-religious girl from strict christian parents, she was robbed of her expression and sense of worth, and then someone like me comes along. We will most likely get married as the relationship is really solid but...
I try to teach her the ability to think critically, to have her own opinions, to form her own aesthetics. I cant help that I influence her SO MUCH tho. Her personality is so malleable as she learns to find herself, and I can already see her agreeing with me even tho she might not even know what I am talking about.
So far I have turned her from a radical SJW teen caught up in misdirected outrage to a calm 20 something that can disagree and discuss, change positions and learn. She has already started to laugh and take notice of things normal people would not too.
I hate to hide a big part of my life, even tho if I wont have to if I continue. On the other hand, I wish for her to become more than just another me. I would have to hide part of myself in that case, but hiding that isnt so bad. What should I do, /adv/? Should I let her be or should I keep influencing her innocent nature into something like me?
TL;DR : Why does corrupting the innocent feel so great. Should I let her live a normal life, /adv/? Or should I continue to be her Virgil, to my Dante, leading her down through the 9 gates of meme hell?
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. I ask for opninons from both guys and girls, so if you could state which you are, that would be very appriciated. Thanks
>>17344040
Be honest with her and let her decide. My bf does all the same and some stuff I don't agree with and is a bit of a turn off but he's allowed to be his own person. He doesn't judge my interests either.
>>17344069
What are some of the stuff he does that you disagree with?
I cant think that I do anything that my gf might disagree with, its just at this point, if she knew she would overreact way too much. She doesnt understand yet that some places that have bad people can also be a haven for good too
>>17344040
Grill here, oldfag (age starts with "3")
You first partner always has a massive influence on you, so don't worry all too much. You two sound young (early 20?). Your personality isn't fully formed by that so it's bound to change.
If you want to refrain your influence, ask her first what she thinks about shit and then only give your own opinion. Try to be mindful of how you react to her.
As for you, some things tick me off. It's like as if this girl was an ongoing project of some sorts that you'll get to blossom eventually into her full potential. Try not to engage that vision of her, and not to treat her like that, because that will give her the subtle message taht she isn't worthy of your unconditional love as she is now. It might be the reason why she so readily takes to everything you bring up in the end, she's trying to win and secure your affection and love - it does sound like she didn't have enough of that at home. So be careful with her. She needs a steady base to grow and explore but allow her to go in directions you don't approve of. Also, not every aspect of your life is something she should share. You can continue browsing here and your l33t web and she doesn't need to know necessarily all about it or use it herself or know all your memes. Heck, who cares if she's an SJW even. True love is more akin letting your gf go picket while you shitpost on /pol/ and still love the crap out of each other I guess, while she gets to call you a trumptard and you call her a berniefag. I suppose you got with her for other reasons than "seeing potential".
Hello, so I work full time in lawn care. I don't really like my work, but I'm willing to do it. Anyways, like a week ago I came across this essay about why work was shitty, and it really struck me. I came to the realization that I was spending 40 hours a week doing something I did not want to do. That I was doing something that was really of no use at all.
Why do people even care about their fuckin lawns. I'd actually prefer a different line of work, but it is pretty much impossible for me.
Idk, how can I believe again that my work is valuable ?
Please don't say
>follow yer dreems
You're retarded if you actually believe that bs
>I'd actually prefer a different line of work, but it is pretty much impossible for me.
Cool, I'm looking forward to 50 excuses about why it's impossible.
>>17344042
Don't be an ass. it requires a Masters degree and I'm unable to get a loan because of shitty credit
>>17344027
It's not so much follow your dreams as follow your internal compass. Some people have a different set of values through which they see the world, and then for some those values matter, and for some they don't even matter that much.
Look at the sort of lifestyle you want and start from there. You can then decide to go back to training to something that would embody your values more. For example, say that you want to feel really useful and not have a bullshit job, you shouldn't aim for something that's behind a desk / office job most likely, those are the jobs that you most easily feel are just pushing paper bullshit. For example nursing is better for that value set.
If you want a quiet life, undisturbed getting a sys admin position might work, and the people you see will need you to troubleshoot something, which feels more important in the short run but maybe not in the larger.
If for example you value security and stability a lot in your life, or having any sort of employment is something important to you in and of itself, then try to see how you can adapt your job. Maybe you need to be in charge of more than just mowing lawns, maybe dropping a number of hours would do the trick etc.
Regardless of what people tell you is good, if you don't figure out what matters truly to you, you won't make it. That's not "follow your dream", that's identifying which occupation of your time won't make you wake up at 40 years of age scared that you wasted most of it doing something moronic.
How hard is it to be a cop? I always wanted to be one. Does the city you live in play a big role? I ironically live in Dallas
Google would probably fare better than anything /adv/ can provide
>>17344007
Well i do see all sorts of characters here in /adv/ so i figured it to be worth a shot.
>>17344004
I worked in Chicago for six years.
If you would like a middling government paycheck with a pension, shitty working conditions, the blame for the significant minority of assholes who share your job and make the world a worse place, and the slow realization that nothing you do matters because you exist purely to collect tax revenue from people who can't afford it and keep a lid on shit nobody wants to fix, go for it.
I just fukkked a random guy from the club and I'm in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend is always telling me I should fuck other people but I'm really upset and conflicted, I've never fucked anyone else during our relationship. Should I tell my boyfriend or just leave it?
>>17343996
>My boyfriend is always telling me I should fuck other people
Cuck
>>17344013
yep, we always joke about that.
LDR's are a silly thing most of the time.
If you were in a committed relationship but had to turn it into a LDR then you might consider what you did cheating, but realistically how long was the LDR going to be for? Was it going to last? There's a lot of variables to consider, for both of you, as to whether an LDR works. They hardly do...
If you guys have always been in a LDR then no you didn't cheat at all. Because frankly you're not in a relationship. He's just some guy you talk to and confide in...
So I went back to college last year and it's time for me to transfer. I have two schools, school A and school B:
School A:
D1
Urban environment, in a notable college city
Like 45 mins my home (This is a bit of a negative, I want to be decently distanced from home)
New fancy journalism school I'd be a part of
I actually know the area
School B:
Will take me AP credits from high school (it's 12, so that's basically a semester)
D3 (I'm big on sports so this is a slight negative)
3 hours from my home
Notable party school in the middle of nowhere almost
Close to the beach
I can provide more info if need be. I've already been accepted to School A. School B is guaranteed to admit me but I still need to send off payments and paperwork.
>>17343991
A
> I want to be decently distanced from home
What the fuck?
>>17344148
My family sucks. I kinda wanna pick A, but I don't wanna lose a semester of work basically
>>17344186
Then you have homework to do. A is better, because if you choose B, you will still have to be at home at you will be tired from getting 3 hours trips to "hell". Unless you sleep on a friends flat or something.
What's the nicest way to ask my girlfriend to bike faster? We live in a collegetown, and the best way to get places is via bike. It also puts us within reasonable time of travel to some nice parks and stuff. The only issue is that she is dreadfully slow when biking. I don't expect her to go 15mph with ease like me, but to go at least 8mph would be nice. It really puts a damper on how much I want to go out, since I know that if I go alone, I'll be there in 30 minutes, but with her it'll be an hour.
The thing is, she's really touchy on being called slow, despite being slow in basically everything, like work and schoolwork. Not just to me, either. I want to get her to bike a little faster so we can enjoy a park for longer, instead of spending the limited time we have in transit.
sorry bud, no other way but to just tell her that shes slow.
why is she slow at everything though?
Just ride at your speed. Over time she'll learn to keep up
>>17343972
Different things. With work and school, she's both insecure and a perfectionist. Her boss says she finishes far less than her coworkers, but makes the fewest, if any, mistakes. School work is the same, she overachieves to the point where professors, in an effort to make her do less, write no comments on her work.
With biking, I have no idea. I've broached the subject once, and she says she doesn't see the point in riding quickly. I tell her it's to get to the park, instead of riding through flat cornfields (yay Midwest) and she tells me to get over it.
>>17343973
I've tried that, but either I get worried that she'll be hit by a car or something actually grievous and I'll be unaware, or I shake that feeling and she gets bitchy at me, and refuses to bike for a week after.
>Be in six year long relationship
>Cheat like a fucking whore
>Tell bf and be genuinely sorry about it
>Try to open up relationship
>Doesn't work, he mad jealous
>Break up
>Single for a year, still love him
>Still loves me, "wanna get back together?"
>His condition is that I stay completely monogamous and stop hanging out with guys he's jealous of, while he gets to fuck all the chicks he wants to, because "lol there's no way I could be monogamous, I'd just end up cheating anyway".
>Not particularly jealous, could deal with him sexing others
BUT
>He still insanely mad for the cheating I did years ago and lets me know regularly
and it kind of feels unfair? Will relationship end in horrible, inevitable doom even though we're both convinced loving anyone else than each other will never happen?
You fucked up plain and simple. Both of you should move on
>>17343961
Don't fucking get back with him.
Who cares if you love each other, relationship will be miserable.
>>17343961
>>Cheat like a fucking whore
Are people who complain that it's impossible to succeed as a young person just pot-smoking retards painting themselves as victims?
I feel like they have to be wrong. You have to be able to make it if you just keep your head on straight
World doesn't work that right way. You can work your ass off all your life and still fail. You can also not do jack shit and still succeed.
No, success isn't easy and is rarely straightforward. Not everyone achieves it so easily
I'm a pottsmoker and a pretty good programmer, doing fine
