Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 120. page
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Two friends of mine fought tonight. How do I mend the group back together?
Back story: a group of us was hanging out at the pool some days ago. Friend A and Friend B have been friends since forever; longer than I've known them. Friend B got into a friendly grapple match with another person. He lost, they shook hands, and he seemed to take it well. While friend B was resting, friend A took his attention from a female friend of ours to tell friend B he looked tired and defeated like a loser. Friend B clocked him out of nowhere and they got into a scuffle. Friend B is usually a quiet and calm guy, while friend A is outgoing and driven. Why did friend B suddenly rage out like that and punch our friend? and how do I get the group back together? friend B left a short while after when friend A told him to leave, since it was his apartment. It's been a few days, and they still haven't made amends. How could two fundamentally different people even be friends for so long? As a neutral third party, I want to help them make up. I know friend A is a proud person and won't really initiate the peace process, but person B, an analytical person, is acting unusually proud, too and won't apologize. What can I do?
>>17342143
Fight them both
>>17342143
>What can I do?
Nothing.
Friend A made a shitty remark, possibly in jest, but what Friend B did is fucking insane. At no point does anyone have the right to physically harm another person over words.
>What can I do?
Nothing. Friend groups split for smaller reasons and they both sound pretty shitty.
>How could two fundamentally different people even be friends for so long?
Nostalgia, history, etc. People grow apart though.
>>17342161
>nothing
I guess so. Just sucks, you know? all 3 of us always hung out and now it's all gone to shit for what I think is a pretty stupid reason. I know friend A likes to say whatever comes to his mind but friend B acted very unusually angry. I just don't want to split time between both of them; my job is enough work for me.
hey /adv/,
I know this will piss a lot of people off, but I have decided to abstain from all sexual contact- sex, kissing, oral, exposing my body, etc, before marriage. I have raised my personal standards, as a 25 year old woman. My intention is to weed out everyone who will waste my precious time, and my life away.
Ever since my decision I am more focused, sure of myself, and very clear minded. I am going against the grain of what society is telling me to do, and I am happy. I can see what people's TRUE intentions are-- if someone is purely using me, weather a female or a male, weather someone has bad intentions, or spotting out a caracter flaw that I would otherwise be blind to. Why? Because I truly feel pure at heart, and my standards are higher. I have more time to myself to be productive and get to were I want to be. I see people for what they truly are, and my choice re affirms the fact that I want to stay far far away from their influences.
Again I know this will piss off all of the beta males on here and the sociopaths, or selfish people who are angry that they have to work harder. Guess what, stay the FUCK away from me. The next person who touches me intimately will be my husband, and I am sure of this.
Not only has my mind relieved itself from the impurities of sex from uncommitted men, but I have also stopped thinking negatively in general. This decision is slowly changing my life because my thinking is shifted to a more pure, and innocent form.
is anybody mad about this? bump.
>>17342137
I don't think anybody cares. I'm a male and doing the same thing, but for slightly different reasons. Good luck.
>>17342134
I'm only mad that you spelled whether wrong, twice, you illiterate fuck
Don't know who or where to ask but whatever.
My girlfriend is considering a job in New York City, we live in Canada, are Canadian citizens. She has a diploma in graphic design and I have a diploma in multimedia journalism (yea I know). I am not working in my field.
Anyways are there many options for work in NYC? I mean if I can't get a job in my field I have no qualms going to a trade or military. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Anyone ever just take off and start a new in another country?
>>17342125
>Anyways are there many options for work in NYC?
Sure. But good luck paying the bills.
NYC is one of the most expensive cities in the world, for one, and is smack inside an authoritarian, neo-liberal plutocracy.
You won't make ends meet. NYC is too expensive, and in the US, there is no way to climb up the social ladder, because of neo-liberal economical politics.
Stay in Canada where things are less scary and actually democratic.
>>17342125
sounds like she wants some new york dick.
How do you become sensitive?
>>17342115
Grow a connection with someone or something where you truly love it and watch a force you can't control hurt it.
>>17342115
That sounds awful
>>17342115
well I am a sensitive guy and you have to become more emotional if you want to become sensitive. I think all the years of depression just made me more emotional.
I broke up with my Ex last year in August, she got a new boyfriend in November and I'm still single,But I suddenly can't stand the fact that her new boyfriend makes her happy, how do I accept that? Btw she was my longest relationship and was also my best friend
>pic unrelated
>>17342069
Wether you accept it or not, it's happening. She move on and so should you. Instead of pondering her happiness, you should go make yourself happy.
That's a hard thing to accept. The feeling will last for a while. Try thinking about it differently. Don't think about the fact someone else is making her happy. If she truly was your best friend then you should be happy for the fact that she is happy, rather than dwelling on the cause of it.
Or if you had a shit break up and aren't friends and hate her guts then why the fuck are you even thinking about her still
>>17342075
The breakup was very mutual, I didn't get these feelings until she started dating someone else
Please I have a situation that will bring some of the most evil people I.e, child predators and others. It involves the judicial system. Is there any one who can please give me some advice. I am not going to google on a computer which may have malware. Please, I am begging you, as a mother who lost a child to a predator and as someone is is aware of all the injustice caused by the corrupt political and financial alliances between the court. I'm begging you, I know I can change this but I need computer help. Thank you who respond in advance
What do you need help with?
>>17342060
The location of the nearest psychiatric ward.
>>17342060
I need help to learn how to get the proof from his comp. I know you don't know me but then maybe you could at least direct me to a book who will teach me how to do it all by myself. Please, I should've stayed up to date, but I know this is so corrupt and involves so many. Please help me, in any limited way you can.
I'm a 21 year old male. I live with my dad, I go to school and have a shitty job. I'm a needy cunt. I haven't had any experience with girls up until seven months ago when I got my first girlfriend. I am a great friend and great overall person in many aspects, but I'm an awful boyfriend. I'm essentially a fucking girl.
When I met her, we got along great. Like more than I ever have with a girl before. We met online. When we met in person, I was kind of turned off. She looked like her pictures but her face was lot bigger than it seemed. So naturally, I was nice but I didn't care much for her. This resulted in her being all over me. We still got along amazingly but I just didn't care much for what happened. Slowly, I fell in love with her. Due to my inexperience and neediness, I slowly started turning her off until we broke up.
I'm 99% certain it's due to the aforementioned reasons for many different reasons. I don't know why I'm needy but I am and it turns her and others off. She has problems too so she can't deal with my shit and it results in her treating me strangely. I feel like her head is in a jumble when it comes to me and what she thinks/acts. I won't go into detail unless asked
Anyways, after breaking up, I noticed that she slowly warms up to me and strays away depending on how I act with her. Every time without fail, when I'd be normal, not needy and whatnot, like I was when we met, she'd be at my feet. As my feelings would grow stronger and I'd go back to my normal self, she'd lose interest again.
My question for advice is how the fuck do I not be such a needy little bitch? An actual fix, not just an act. I don't know what it was. My dad being harsh and distant my whole life. My moms death at sixteen. Me never having friends as I grew up. Always being alienated and insecure when growing up due to being a minority. Whatever it is, It's made me into a bitch and I need to stop it.
Any input from anyone about anything I said?
>>17342033
In regards to how I'd be needy, I'm not sure how to explain in actions or examples, but I would be way more invested in her than she would be me. When She'd go a mile for me, I'd go ten. I'd always be all over her. Showing more affection than she'd show me. Always want to talk and show her love, even when there was nothing to say. Always want to see her, take our relationship a step further. Want her affection. Stuff like that I guess.
you're literally me OP
god
>>17342040
>I'm not sure how to explain in actions or examples
Has she told you outright when you're being too needy and why? Think of those times. If you can't, and she's the only person you've been with, all I can say is that she may be the one with issues. There are many girls out there that absolutely love being pampered and even come to expect it. But there are some people out there that prefer the mind games of the "push and pull" which isn't healthy for a long-term relationship. You're expected to pull just long enough to help her out in some way, but you immediately have to turn your emotions off and push her away to keep her drawn in. I don't think she genuinely cared about you.
Now, if you act out because you have unrealistic expectations about how she should treat you in certain situations, that's something that you could definitely improve upon.
I have a problem where at work, I worry about customer issues too much. I take them on as my own. As an example, a woman is vacationing and was accidentally charged $200 by the person working the previous shift. I refunded and explained this to her and she was polite enough, but she was upset because she's on vacation and it's a lot of money. It won't show up in her bank account for several days at most.
It's sorted out but I'm still bothered and have anxiety. I genuinely don't know if I care about her vacation, or if it just triggers general anxiety because I feel I did something wrong. I do have an anxiety disorder and I take medication, but I don't get this worried about other shit. How can I distance myself? I need to appear warm but not actually be bothered internally at work. Especially since I'm hoping to get into the world of business once I finish school.
Customers made me nervous for maybe the first month I worked.
It goes away. Now I hope they fucking choke on their waffle fries. Fucking fat pigs. Oink Oink!
>>17342117
Not for me. Been working in customer service for two years now. First a typical shitty fast food job and now at a hotel.
>>17342022
Many companies would have a policy of offering her an apology payment when they screw up. Telling her that when the money goes into her account there will be an extra $40 for her inconvenience will make her happy and you less sad. Or arrange for some immediate credit at her hotel.
This isn't YOUR job, and doesn't come from your pocket. But ask your boss if it is company policy and how to offer it.
I work for a medium sized HVAC company on the west coast and my boss is pissed wants me to focus on employee retention. We've been slowly bleeding good technicians to larger companies and he wants it to stop, he is willing to negotiate a budget with me depending on what I come up with. Our wages are already very competitive with guaranteed raises and we have great benefits. I was thinking having stuff like free breakfast (good shit like pancakes and bacon) in the morning at the shop and offering to pay for a percentage on new tools might help but those are my only ideas so far and I worry they might seem kind of gay or forced to the guys who actually have to work hard for a living. So I'm asking you guys, what kind of perks would you like to see at work that would actually make you happy?
>>17342013
I worked a job earlier this year. Was a lab job.
They had the best fucking perks. They had a problem with too much employee retention; fuckers wouldn't retire.
When I got there all my coworkers were over 45. Some pushing 60.
They were all shit workers because they've been there 20+ years.
Bitching aside, the administration did some good shit.
The baseline is "paid days off".
That's it.
That's the end all be all.
All the other perks are secondary. Free breakfast is nice but no one really cares. It's like finding a dollar on the ground.
It's nice, but it's just a happenstance type stuff.
Paid days off? Fuck, you divert yourself for that.
In the summer, they had a 4 day work week, with Friday's being paid days off.
That's the biggest thing.
You offer workers a whole paid day off, you got shit there.
I know it's expensive as fuck, but you try to make it like twice a year or something, and some will stay.
Alternatively, maybe your job just sucks.
>>17342028
You know, this is exactly the fucking problem and I didn't hit me until I read this even though it was right in front of my face. These guys get a shit ton of PTO but none of it can be used in the summer because the entire industry is slammed and everyone works at least 12 hrs a day six days a week sometimes on call the 7th. My boss and I are the type of idiots that think everyone loves overtime money so it never occurred to me that dudes are just burning out. I'm thinking maybe hiring temporary new guys right before next summer and training them before the busy season hits might help give our guys normal weekends. I'll run it by him on monday, thanks annon!
>>17342057
>12 hours a day
>6 days a week
Jesus Fuck, there are some numbers you could pay me to do that but it'd have to be really fucking high.
Like a grand a day type of shit.
Yeah, summer is hard, but fuck you gotta let people at least be a person.
Those types of shifts have people coming off work, going home, sleeping, and then waking up to go to work.
No surprise people quit.
I think you got the right idea.
Make it 5 days a week and 8 hours and you can have people forever.
Anything more and you have a high chance of "Fuck this, I want a job, not a lifestyle"
He tends to speak slowly, quietly with a very deep voice (honestly, i find it exhilarating) and he's quite gentle too! Well, the problem is: he's very... weird. Seriously, i can't reach him and I'm worried. It's been over a week since he last logged on facebook and whatsapp. Also, his phone is turned off. But he went to college three days ago and he spoke with me normally, like nothing happened. I asked him why he hasn't logged on fb for awhile, he said he was busy. After some persistence, he told me he had some problems to sort out. Yet, he refuses to tell me anything. I am deeply worried and he's... he's not telling me anything! Is he mental or something? I've asked one of his friends, and she said he's gone quiet in these days for some reason. Maybe he doesn't like me or something? Maybe he's some sort of antisocial guy?
>>17341986
Or maybe he is, you know, busy.
The world doesn't resolve around you. Perhaps he has personal problems: Sometime such in his family, money difficulties, death of a relative,...
And maybe, just maybe, that's why he is not talking much to anyone
>>17341986
You haven't reach friendship high enough to unlock that response.
>>17341986
Whatever you do don't push yourself to spend time to him. Let him take the initiative.
Ask him if there's anything you could help him with and ask for small favor just to spend some time together, but under any circumstance go straight and tell him that you are interested on him, it probably would just push him away.
Once you feel he trust you enough to talk to you about personal stuff, that's the right time you are interested in being something more than just friends with him.
Hey /adv/
I'm pretty worried because my friend pointed out to me my right front tooth being blackened, I've had relatively good oral hygiene, not super consistent with brushing but not as bad as other people my age, and I'm curious as to what this is, could be, and how urgent it is
that's decalcification
it's not black it's translucent
my dentist told me
Go to the dentist.
My girlfriend is a dentist (so take this with a grain of salt, because I usually switch off when she's talking about this shit), and from what I understand when a tooth gets dark patches it's getting caries / tooth decay.
Impossible to tell you 100% without an x-ray of your mouth, but it's probably a good idea to get it checked out.
Stay the fuck away from me
I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend. He's done nothing wrong and we both love each other, God, I love him so much, and it scares me, but I think that it's what's best for both of us. We're in a situation in which no one, our friends, our family, no one, would accept us together, so no one knows, and it's because of me. I don't want to hold him back from anything or make him hide himself because of me.i know it will hurt both of us, but I think it may end better in the long run, and I don't want him to lose people because of me. Does anyone have any relationship advice, I don't know what to do.
>>17341946
Can you give us a little more context? Unless you're a Jew, he's a Nazi and this is 1940s Germany, I don't see any circumstance in which you two should feel the need to hide this. If you break up, you're both going to be absolutely miserable. If he's hiding this from controlling parents, or something along those lines, then he clearly loves you more than you seem to realize. Don't hurt him by playing the martyr.
>>17341946
Talk to HIM about it and not some shitbags on the internet who're just gonna tell you to dump him for a carpenter.
>>17341959
He is a lot older than me, almost 10 years. We work really well together, but my parent won't approve, our friends will find it weird. I know this doesn't sound like such a big problem, but even though I'm an adult, I'm the youngest out of 6, in the baby of the family. He is friends with my mothers best friend, and I know it will ruin his relationship with them, and they're the closest thing he's had to a family ever. I don't want him to ruin his relationship with them because of me.
Im 20/m and im starting to get sexually confused. Which is wierd since iv lived a pretty normal and straight sex life. But now instead of looking at a girls ass i catch myself looking at dudes.
Is this just a phase or should i talk to someone about it?
>>17341942
>Is this just a phase
Yes. If you don't give in it should be gone in a while.
Same happened to me, i got interested into having more skinship with guys and watching gay porn, but i held my ground and after some months i became 100% straight again.
>looking at dudes
well they're around, so...
>(am I gay)
do you want to have sex with men?
>should I talk to someone?
about your fear of becoming gay?
>>17341990
Sometimes yeah ill have the thought
And yes to the last question
I've been attempting to experience a prostate orgasm, or at the very least, figure what prostate stimulation feels like. But I can't seem to even find the damn thing.
I tried using my finger. Thought maybe it was too deep to reach, constructed something out of a rubber glove and a sharpie padded with toilet paper. But to no avail, my endeavor remained fruitless and I found noting that felt like anything novel. I can't find any "walnut sized" whatever x inches. I've touched something bump like that feels different, but can't reliably find it. And even if it makes me feel something, it never really peaks nor even plateaus.
I just don't understand. Is this some grand myth? Is it anatomically possible the prostate just isn't accessible? At best it's a tiring and a bit uncomfortable, at worst it's time consuming and ambiguous enough to be an eventual orgasm ruiner; I become bored and distracted. Going to stop trying if I don't manage to achieve any different / higher pleasure.
What is the deal here?
Shameless self bump. It seems strange I can't find something that's otherwise so clearly described.
Another bump.
>>17341936
I've actually had a similar experience to yours when it comes to using my finger. It just doesn't do shit.
I had a prostate orgasm ONCE but it took using a masturbatory aide (hilariously a curved handle on a pair of pliers) and being really really high to accomplish it. But goddamn it felt good. I had to involuntarily cry out, and not even my most intense "regular" orgasms could make me do that. Next time I have money to burn I'm gonna buy an Aneros or some similar massager, and some decent lube. This seems to be the consensus of people online. A relaxed state of mind and the right tool are necessary to get you there.
So I'm gonna get condoms tomorrow which one should I buy?
get magnums then post a pic of it on social media so everyone knows you have a big dick
>>17341875
Durex > Trojan > Lifetsyles
You want the "ultra thin" kind or whatever. Trust me, sex with a condom sucks and the less condom you feel the better.
