Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 104. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 104. page
my life is ruined
>have secure job as a public servant
>have perfect gf
>not a 10/10, but makes me laugh all the time (and vice versa), can talk for hours, have the same plans
>plans like marrying, to get a bigger flat, get kids
>have the urge to do illegal stuff in the internet
>never told her
>try to make it save via proxy and tor
>be at work
>check muted mobile phone
>23 calls missed, 10 messages
>all of my gf
>'Police is here and gets through all our stuff and take our pc's, sticks, HDs with them, they even want my phone!'
>have no lawyer at the time
>phone her
>tell gf to don't say anything
>'wtf is happening, anon?!'
>want to rush home
>police is waiting for me at the parking lot
>want my phone
>want my pc at the office
>take me with them
few months later
>lawsuit
>gf left me
>will get fired after the lawsuit is done
>have no pc
>gf took all the money we had
>moved back to my mothers house
>she doesn't want me to be here anymore
>don't know what to do
>>17346016
>getting v& for cheese pizza
lmaoing @ ur life.
>mfw normalfag pedoshit faggot gets what he deserves
Wtf did you do?
This one is a bit lewd so I'm sorry about that, /adv/.
How big does your penis have to be for women to take you seriously as a man?
How big does it have to be in order for her to achieve orgasm?
Depends on the woman.
Also, a large number of woman can't come from just taking dicks. Being open enough to communicate about sex before it happens is important.
Vaginas are only a little over three inches long. You shouldn't have trouble hitting the cervix unless you got a legit micropenis. If you're having trouble with that, just try to compensate through other methods. There a lot more ways to make a woman orgasm than vaginal sex.
As for the size that women PREFER, I'd say about 5-6 inches.
>>17346013
6 inches
I recently went through and ended an emotionally abusive relationship. During that time, I destroyed a friendship with one of my closest friends. She couldn't stand to see me keep going back to my abuser and started to harshly criticize me in a condescending manner. I couldn't stand it and stopped talking to her even after I broke up with my ex. My attempt to mend our friendship failed after that since she said I hurt her and even though she's asked to talk again since then, I still find it difficult to forgive her for how insensitively she treated me. I also had another friend who was frustrated with me going back to my ex but she wasn't as emotionally invested in my situation as the previously mentioned friend.
I've been reflecting a lot on my situation and I find that it's akin to Stockholm Syndrome. I don't think anybody but another abused person can really understand what I went through. I know my thought process was irrational and it truly felt like I was brainwashed by my ex. Even now, I find it difficult to get rid of some of the remnant emotional attachments to him. It's gotten me to ponder if my friends' response toward me was appropriate or not, if it's something that is or isn't helpful for victims of abuse. It seems like there isn't a good answer to this. Was I really wrong to have been upset by my friends' anger and frustration toward me? I understand their thoughts came out of a place of concern but it just felt like I was getting beaten down even more than I already was at the time.
Groa a thick skin already you dumb idiot, stockholm syndrome doesn't happen unless you were literally incarcerated with zero means of communication to the outside world. You're just an oversensitive retard with a victim complex.
>>17346017
I didn't say it WAS Stockholm Syndrome, you ass. I knew I should've typed traumatic bonding instead and it's a real thing that a lot of people have gone through. Thanks for not answering my fucking question. Fuck off to /r9k/ you prick.
>>17346022
If you knew it wasn't that then why bring it up at all? Perhaps fishing for pity by being overdramatic, hmmm?
Go attention whore somewhere else already, retarded cunt.
I just ate some ice cream got intense brain freeze and it hasn't gone away in 5 minutes.. the pain hasn't subsided at all
wut do?
what's happening?
>>17346010
-Press your tongue against the roof of the mouth to warm the area.
-Tilt your head back for about 10 seconds.
-Drink a liquid that is warmer than the cold substance that caused the headache.
-Take small bites or sips and let them warm on your tongue before they touch the roof of your mouth.
-Make a mask with your hands and cover your mouth and nose; breathe quickly.
-Press your thumb against the roof of your mouth.
>>17346018
my entire bvodty ghas fdrozen exxccvepppt my tongue sdend hwelp my enhter rooim is c overd in ice
>>17346030
is there someone at home with you?
How do you guys handle the feeling when you lost the chance to tell the girl that you've been hanging out with for 3 years that you love her....
I just graduated highschool and I'll be leaving our country-side town to study in the city. she's also leaving for another place though... heck I can't even sleep. the sadness that I know I won't be seeing her again...
>>17345976
I met her in grade 10, the same year when I decided to turn my life around and meant it. the first day of school I joined the math club, the homework club, and the running team for the summer and fall season. i met her in my first running team practice session. I joined group b (there are 3 groups, a, b ,c) because I thought I was an average runner. boy was I wrong, that first run nearly broke me, I was shambling at the end of it. But during the run, i managed to make it by following the stride and pace of this one girl which prevented me from overdoing it or from losing the pace.
>>17345976
I was in a similar situation and I told her that I loved her after a friendship that lasted years.
It wasn't mutual and it killed the friendship, but I don't think I would have been able to live with myself if I didn't try, so.
>>17345986
The first run was a us going around half of our entire town, turning at the biggest convince store in our country side and passing through the small parcel of tress which the people treated as an intimate nature walk. anyways. when the run was over, I was coughing my lungs out but after a pitcher of water and alot of deep breaths (the couch told us not to sit cause that strains the leg muscles) I was okay, It was my first time to go home that late and I didn't have my usual group of friends to walk me home. So I started to walk home until I saw that girl which i was tailing in the running team. I just noticed how pretty she was in her gym shorts and her running jersey. She was all alone which made it real easy to approach her. found out she lived in the same way but abit more east. We then started to talk about the running team first, then after that about school, then about a myriad of topic until we just noticed that we were at the crossroad between our homes. She said goodbye, and that was my first solo experience with a girl for that long.
What do I do now?
>>17345964
Don't stick your dick in crazy.
>>17345964
respect her decision
>>17345966
Wasn't going to she's undesirable to me but I'm one of her only friends
Hey /adv/ I'm looking for a horror manga.
It was about a bunch of people going to and island and getting hunted down by a killer in a pig mask (to the best i can remember it)
Anyone knows what's it called?
Doubt?
Might also be called Rabbit Doubt
>>17345937
Hmm no it's not this one. The very first page was showing a bunch of skulls on a black background then the pages after showed an image of the pig mask guy killing someone
>>17345946
Judge by the same author has a guy getting killed in the first few pages
I don't love my parents.
I was raised by a single mother who was always busy, I spend most of my childhood watching tv until I discovered books, my mother almost never spoke to me and when she did it usually was some religious moral shit, I don't think I have a single photo of my childhood where I'm smiling.
After moving out of my mother's house to go to college she seemed to recent the lost time and started trying to get more into touch with me but by that time I was already fed up with her and I realized that almost anything she said or did bothered me, it doesn't help that I became an atheist and she keeps insisting on trying to force me back into religion despite clearly stating that that is the one thing that I hate the most (I always leave the room silently when religion comes up).
My father on the other hand was always absent, tough it seems he gave money to my mother but I never directly asked either of them, he also rarely visited me but I remember I used to really feel happy when he did until eventually I stoped giving a shit about him. I once went to visit him to ask him for advice on how to overcome my shyness towards woman, he seeme to think that I was confesing being gay so I had to explain twice what I meant. In the end I didn't got closer to my father, got no advice at all and the one thing that I got from that visit is that going to him for advice was futile so I decided never to do it again.
Now, I know that despite being shitty parents they did the best they could and they honestly love me, but I can't love them back, it doesn't help that they usually speak negatively of me but only between them, never directly to me.
I'm afraid that when they die I will regret not trying harder at knowing them better, but being near them instantly drains all of my energy and regret even trying.
I just wanted to share that, but any form of advice would be appreciated.
People are just people. Nobody is "just a mom" or "just a dad." Everyone out there is living their own adventure, with their own highs and lows, successes and failures, and as a bystander you only witness a part of it. Very often parents try to protect kids from their own mistakes by being overbearing or micro parenting every decision the child takes. Other times parents focus on providing for the child in material ways and forget to be there emotionally because nobody showed them how to do it. Parenting was only one aspect of who they were back then.
My advice to you would be that now you are all adults, and you sustain yourself independently, give yourself a chance to get to know your parents as people, as individual, not just as mom and dad with the baggage those titles come with.
Clean slate. Invite your mom out to dinner and your dad out for a drink, and just talk to them. Talk to them like you would a potential friend, and see where things go.
>>17345930
Yeah... that is not really possible, I moved far away from my natal city last year due to a lot of reasons, my parents being just another one.
I don't really know my father, but I know my mother enough to know that, honestly, I don't really like the way she handled her life, I've come up with ideas of how different her life would be if I hadn't been born and I think that it wouldn't be much different, same for my father.
As an aditional note my mother is coming over to visit me next week and I can already see her critizicim basically everyting and being all sad because I'm so far away and asking me to come back home and telling me how much she and my grandmother and my dog miss me.
>>17345922
My advice?
You owe them nothing, so don't even bother trying to forcedly like/love them. Leave it be and cut/reduce your contact to them as you see fit.
I don't care if the so much "loved you" and so much "tried their best". If they truly did their job as a parent, you'd not feel like you do now.
On the other side though, no matter what you choose to do, even if you hated them and told them to die a horrible death, it is their duty to always love and forgive you. It is their fucking duty. This is what it means to be a parent. You put them into this world, you deal with the consequences and keep loving your offspring no matter what.
Chances are in a few years you'll be able to forgive them anyways and keep friendly but kinda distant contact anyways. Just don't hope to be really close to them one day ever. This'll spare you a lot of hurt on the way.
This is coming from a parent of three. I had a psychopath dad and rarely present overworked mom myself.
How do you cope/deal with/move on from the death of a lover? It's been twelve years since my fiance passed and I still don't think I could ever love anyone else. And it's not like I haven't tried, hell I just recently ended a relationship of two years with another woman because I didn't really feel the same connection as I had before. Or will I just kinda feel like this forever?
Sounds like you never got proper closure. See a counselor that can help you dig up what unfinished business you had with your ex lover that still bothers you 12 years after her passing.
>>17345926
You're definitely right there, a professional would be much better than coming to /adv. I've just never really had time or money for something like that.
I don't know if closure is the issue though. I've accepted it and gotten over loss as much as you really can get over loss, it's just not being able to find the same feeling of love from anyone else.
>>17345944
It's closure.
Maybe your idea of "i've accepted it" is just forcing yourself not to think about it, bury it deep within you. A lot of us do that at first so we can stop crying every time sometihnf reminds us of the person we lost. Then we just never address it.
If you had proper closure, you wouldn't keep comparing new relationships to your past one. It would just be in your past. In order to move you, save some money and see a counselor for help with this, we can't help you over posts like this. You need to have a face to face conversations with someone that has experience in this subject and can guide you.
hello fellow anons,
i had to quit my job 2 months ago because it was dragging me into a deep depression spiral and i needed to get away from the toxic people/company.
i´m a trained IT-Systems Engineer but the work-field is not really for me because in IT things change on a monthly basis and you always have to be up 2 date, plus you spend all day in front of a fucking screen.
are there some among you who experienced almost the same as me and also tried their luck in other areas in search for happiness?
don´t really care about making big bucks, i just wanna sustain my lifestyle which is not that expensive so i can keep my car/apartment have some money for food left and a few games or music here and there.
I worked management for years and it sucked the fucking life out of me. I couldn't really eat or sleep or find enjoyment in anything. I quit that shot in December and have been living off savings since then - obviously this isn't possible for a lot of people, but in this time j have been writing and writing and writing, with aspirations of being a novelist.
The fulfilment and enjoyment I have gained from this has honestly kept me alive. If you aren't fulfilled in life, you aren't living. There will be times where all of us will have to be unfulfilled - obviously I will not be able to live on my savings forever - but you must find a purpose and Persue it as much as you possibly can
get a piece of paper, figure out
Ideal living:
>rent
>monthly food expenses
>monthly utilities, phone, gas, insurance, etc expenses
>monthly leisure expenses
>total: T1
>add 50% to T1, meant for savings
>you get your total monthly cost of living
Look for jobs that hit at least that minimum.
>>17345933
we have social security here so i can take some time off with the "disadvantage" of living on life sustain mode with my expenses.
i really can focus on making music more and the time off really gave me energy and teached me about myself in ways i would have never imagined
i got so much stuff done regarding my hobbies for which i never had energy at my old job, it was just exhausting mentally
it showed me what i missed out at my last job, came home without energy to make music, had dinner, played some games or watched some tv and then hit the sheets - repeat 24/7
now i have so many possibilities open and can do whatever i want if i get a chance from someone which is a very satisfying feeling
my family didn´t understand the move i took because quitting without a new job lined up is very risky but i researched a bit and many people say you have to do it or else you could really end up as a mental case - kinda
what´s a bit scary though - will i get a chance from someone to try something new?
that´s a fear always sitting in the back of my head - how would you deal with that?
>>17345939
will do that, thanks man
Vacation coming up soon and im having trouble sleeping, i've tried white noise, milk, cool temperatures, just leave advice, don't drop shit bombs.
Melatonin
Roman chamomile essential oil
Breathe in for a seconds, hold breath 8 seconds, breathe out for 8 seconds, hold breath out 8 seconds, repeat for a few minutes.
Exercise before you go to bed
no computer/phone/screens of any kind an hour before you go to bed
go to bed at a consistent time and wake up at a consistent time
like you said cool temps are a must
I like to read before I go to bed, it's part of my pre-sleep ritual and get's me in the mood to rest.
Try not to use your bedroom for non sleep related activities if possible.
>>17345904
>Exercise before you go to bed
yea like 6 hours before going to bed
What caliber of gun results in the most likely successful suicide?
I need something I can still afford.
Sawed-off shotgun will do the trick if you aim it right
>>17345877
I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure I need whatever the one that isn't birdshot is, right?
I'd seek help first, but if anything, a .45 should do the trick if you shoot through the temple and don't flinch
What is this and what should I do to get rid of it? I've been to the doctor 2 times, and the first time I went they said it was strep and I finished my antibiotic but it came back. 2nd time I went they said it was tonsillitis. Finish the second antibiotic they gave me and now it's coming back again.
This is what it looked like when it was the worst.
>>17345850
>>17345852
Looks like tonsil stones to me. They don't really do anything other than cause irritation and bad breath but something that big is something I personally would see the doctor about.
>>17345850
I remember you. Last time, I told you tonsil stones or a fungal infection, since you said you did not respond to antibiotics.
>they said it was strep and I finished my antibiotic but it came back
So, you did have a positive response (unlinke what you told before). The doctors discontinued instead of giving you another round of the same antibiotics? -.- I would ask for the same round of antibiotics and see if it disappears again.
But that is just treating symptoms. Now lets look at the cause.
What are your eating/drinking habits? Judging by the pictures, your overall oral hygiene is pretty bad. Do you brush your teeth/floss regularly? Do you use mouth wash?
Hi, /adv/. I've been dating a girl for nearly a year now, and she truly and honestly wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but I just don't want to date her. The problem is, if I stop dating her, I fully believe she might try to commit suicide.
As for why I don't want to date her, she's ready for commitment and I am not. Also, maybe this is shallow, but I'm not that physically and emotionally attracted to her. I feel like she's alright, but I can do better in a lot of ways.
When we first started dating, I told her I loved her when I didn't, and that we could get married in a few years because she wanted to, when I didn't mean either of those things. I realize I fucked up here. My only explanation there was that I hadn't dated anyone since high school (22 here) and got rejected by every girl I asked out in college and was desperate to have a gf, regardless of what she said. Normally, I would tell her that I was caught up in the moment and that it was wrong of me to say that. However, I tried to break it off once and she became depressed as all fuck, and talked a lot about not having a reason to go on anymore. We got back together because I wanted to make her happy and thought I could learn to be happy with her. I just don't want to be with her, though.
This girl has been through a lot of physical and sexual abuse from other boyfriends, and has tried to kill herself before. I don't want to cause her death. What should I do?
It's better to break up sooner than later, and in calm control than in can't-take-it-anymore impulse. You will break up eventually, anyway.
>>17345845
first and foremost, dont stick your dick in crazy. if a girl implies she is currently suicidal or depressed in any way, dont date her. you are choosing to date someone who says 'I DONT WANT TO BE HAPPY'. because 99% of the time, thats the problem. they dont want to put the effort in because they become addicted to the attention they get from being the most tragic person in the world who no one can understand. not even you. they dont want you to understand them cuz that would make them less unique.
that being said, dump her now. what are you going to do, wait til she dies of old age to stop her from killing herself?
tell her friends, family, and therapist that you are breaking up with her and are worried but want them to keep an eye on her for you.
if you can, break up with her and drop her off at a friends or family to watch her as you leave.
you are not responsible if she kills herself.
>>17345845
1) She is being lied to by you with this love thing
2) You are wasting her lifetime
3) You are hurting her by playing this shit
4) She may and probably deserve better than you as well
I hope this helps ending this
How do I give people online and irl really good advice? I wish I was better at helping people and preventing suicide but I only make them worse because I'm Aspie so I find it hard to relate.
Example of advice I give pretty often here: People here have a big problem with being virgins at 25+. I tell them sometimes that they only care because they regret not having sex in youth but sex isn't a necessity and sexual passion comes and goes so you've really lost nothing from being a virgin. Also people who have a problem with being ugly, I tell them not to value themselves on their appearance.
Being able to give good advice comes from wisdom, and this usually comes from a combination of life experience, introspection, and critical thinking.
The problem with this board is that the majority of the posters lack every last one of these characteristics.
Ask them questions about how they feel, draw out the details and the why. Ask about what they would want instead. Sometimes what they want, and how they think things should be don't actually mesh well and are based on some false assumptions. Point that out if it's the case. If it's not, help them build a plan to get where they want.
After that, there's only so much you can do. You can't help someone who would rather defend their beliefs than come to a solution.
>>17345855
I have no wisdom but how can I be kind? if not being wise then at least being kind will go a long way
>>17345888
that's why I am wondering about being kind and how that will effect them, though I can't progress with advice.
