Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 101. page
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/adv/, I move to a different city to start work in a couple of weeks and just got my rota. I'm looking at it and wondering how I'm going to meet someone and start a serious relationship with my hours
55 hours a week is the standard week, but roughly once a month I have to work 12 days straight, covering 132 hours
Every now and again they have to throw me a few days off by law
On top of that, I'd put a 50% chance of me moving again in two years time
Has anyone got any past experience to share?
wait 2 years. LDRs that start in meatspace don't last, and finding a partner who's going to quit their job to follow you is going to be nigh impossible. You're just gonna have your heart broken.
>>17346734
Yeah, I'd certainly put waiting on top of a LDR
The complicated thing about finding someone who will follow me is that it's not certain, and actually my wage alone would be over twice the average by then... But I guess money isn't everything
>>17346730
i think the issue here is you are 'looking' for a serious relationship with a girl you havent even met yet.
the chances are you wont be able to meet anyone. but why not just put yourself out there by going out and doing things you enjoy on your nights and days off, and just seeing what the world brings to you. if you can meet a girl and you want to take her on dates, do it.
stop worrying about whether or not this imaginary girl will last the two years.
Hey /adv/, a while ago I was voted onto a board of a corporation. I'm the youngest on it, early 20's and I feel like I'm in way over my head. Our first impromptu meeting brought everything down on me like a ton of bricks. It is not at all what I thought it was going to be. It's very corporate and serious business, bringing me to a level I've never even thought I'd be on one day.
Anyway, we're meeting soon and I have no idea what to say to these people. I'd feel guilty accepting the travel and hotel room while having nothing to offer but the youth they wanted on the board.
I guess the advice I'm looking for is more experiential. How should I act? Address others? I've never been on a board before and I don't want to be pushed around.
Be professional, but be open, relaxed and fun. If you're charismatic it'll carry you even further.
I think you have what it takes. Makes sure you thank them all individually and express WHY you have gratitude; but joke around a little to those who look like they can handle a lighter side to business.
From what you're saying, I'd say be polite and friendly, keep quiet unless curious or addressed, don't be afraid to look stupid (so long as you're asking questions, not answering them).
They voted you on for a reason. Have faith in yourself, even if you mess up the first time, it's only the first time.
I am a woman tho, so my success might not act like yours, sorry. Apologies for the terrible English too.
>>17346707
>I'd feel guilty accepting the travel and hotel room while having nothing to offer but the youth they wanted on the board.
But that's EXACTLY why they voted you onto the board.l: they wanted your persective. Speak up. Ask questions. Don't automatically assume everything you say is right, but don't be afraid to fight for what you believe in. They literally asked for this. Do it, and you will be doing your job on that board as well as any other member does theirs.
anyone had an outbound call centre job before? They say it's market research but idk what that means. I'm kinda desperate but not cold-call desperate. pic not related
bump. I get distracted on other threads too much
>>17346673
Depends what you are doing and where you work.
I did one where i just had to tell people about an update to their services. That was easy.
I had another where i hate to try and sell a program ontop of another program the customer had. That one was Scammy as fuck but not too bad.
Finally i had one where i had to sell a program insurance. It was scammy and hard as fuck to sell.
Some places will send you home if you can't sell.
Regardless its absolutely shit. And you will want to kill yourself after a year of call center work on outbound. Lots of day ruining bullshit from customer and lots of bullshit and pressure from your bosses.
>>17346715
It's not customer, it's business, I think. And not sales either. I'm used to cold call sales jobs (and rejecting them), but this one I feel like is a trap waiting to happen cus it sounds too good.
Decided it's better to make a thread on it, since I wanted some advice on this.
I can't meet girls IRL, girls IRL don't take interest in me so my only option has been to risk trying to meet people long distance usually across the world with a high chance of hurt. I'm a hopeless romantic, never had proper gf, never kissed.
Currently talking to a girl all the way across the damn planet and all thoughts are going through my head whether this is worth it or not, I told myself I would get myself involved long distance and i just keep being an idiot and forgetting that.
I've come to the point where I've become desperate, quite a few of my female friends/acquaintances are attractive to me and I become jealous and upset upon hearing they have a boyfriend/girlfriend , making me respond to them pettily and act like a dick e.g. giving dead responses, not talking enthusiastically even though deep down i want to. I'm tired of being alone, no true friends, most friends are online not offline. Getting to hang out with people is a rare occurrence, even then they're just acquaintances. This feeling is unshakeable, something is always missing, I'm always alone and it's killing me slowly.
My motivation and drive to prepare for the next year of uni has dwindled and I fear failure. I don't even enjoy my course/major and it feels so shitty even though I have an idea of what type of job i want e.g. what the outcome of me doing said job will produce, Idk exactly what I want to be besides just wishing I had talents in the fields of the interests I currently have.
I sometimes think of offing myself, I tried to once long ago and promised myself I wouldn't do that again. I always hope things will turn out well, but It feels like I'm waiting for something that'll never happen. Maybe you guys get threads like this all the time sorry , but I don't know what to do anymore. It's like im fighting a losing war. I've never met anyone who I could truly connect with or who truly understood me.
>girls dont take interest in me
define interest? guys like you post here a lot and the impression i get from most threads is that you may make some initial out reaches, but refuse to actually go for the girl. instead most of you will wait around for months or even a year just dropping hints and expecting her to do the work for you.
have you ever actually said 'hey anonette, let me take you to dinner tonight' ?
>all that other stuff
just post a pic of yourself and lets go from there.
>>17346805
Interest as in girls approaching, smiling, etc. I don't think anyones ever genuinely liked me and if it did come to that case, later on it probably wasn't how it seemed. Only one time I actually built up the courage to talk to a girl, after a bunch of crap we did hit off with help with a friend passing on ym number. But it ended up bs, i don't count it as a relationship because It wasn't how I thought it was. (long story).
I hear about girls approaching guys, talking about how they throw signals but im pretty sure that's never happened to me. I don't even have anyone to ask that question to even though I'd like to.
I would if I was confident, but knowing this is 4chan. I just can't trust it, everyone who posts a pic on here becomes a meme or some sort. Plus i dont want people i may have known in the past seeing me on here by that 0.1% chance.
shamefully bumping again
Hey guys and gals I need some advice and this will make me sound like a total fuckboy but I'm asking you to hear me out. Over a month ago I met a girl who's 24 "I'm 21" and she seemed pretty alright overall minus the fact that she has a kid from a no life failure. I said fuck it and decided to give it a try which went really well for a bit until I started noticing while she's sexual and ogles over me "which I don't get" she's also a bit off and super needy all the time. Another thing I've found out is she's not going anywhere is life because she's teaching in public school and plans to stay there and even lives with her parents so I've tried really distancing myself from her but all it seems to do is make her push harder to reel me back in and act like she's waiting for me to marry her any day. Now a week ago I met another girl "19" who's HH but can speak English really well and she's super cute and better then the mom in every way you can list. She's funnier, not needy, really intelligent and is even going to school to be a doctor. She really caught me by surprise and I've fallen head over heels for her. I just found out a day ago from her that's she's crushing on me really hard and wants to purse a relationship. She's not aware that I'm currently in one and I haven't said anything to her so I didn't take her up on the offer but I didn't tell her no. What do you guys think I should do?
It sounds like you're insecure and don't know how to say no to any girl who gives you attention.
The first girl has obviously had some tough times and made bad choices. She will find someone more mature than you; as a child needs a father figure in its life (which is why she is so clingy you moron)
Keep plowing easy girls until you get a backbone, then have a decent relationship with a girl who's not obviously in a vulnerable state.
TLDR; stop aiming so low
>>17346670
Based on your typing I think you are, hear me out, "retarded"
>>17346670
we are not going to tell you to cheat anon.
From what you have said you are dissatisfied with he first girl so at least have the balls to tell her its over.
Why have I lost my emotions? It seems like for the past 5 years they've been slowly been disappearing until now where i can't feel anything. I don't know how to feel anything anymore, other than being content. I don't know what happened to me, I used to be so happy and full of emotions.
>>17346664
You not doing enough with your life.
Intelligence, emotions, feeling they all get numb if they are not used. But you will get your shit kicked in when you need em again.
Too little information for me to be able to advise.
Default advice: ask a therapist.
>>17346664
there are multiple possibilities.
emotions are like time. its relative. the more you have of it, the less small smounts seem.
when you were a kid a day felt like forever. now that you're an adult, a year passes by so fast its kind of scary.
emotions are the same way. as a kid and teen everything felt so extreme. not just becuase hormones but becuase it was new to you. now you've experienced all that and you've become a bit numb to the feelings.
the best things you can do is take the time to think about how you feel. you still get feelings, they are just small and less. take the time to enjoy your feelings. ffeel sad? go through a baww thread and make it deeper. good day? reflect on how having a good day is an amazing experience in this world.
Got nasty sore throat. Swollen, tender and painful.
Watching my kids today so i can't rest or got out to get meds.
Drinking lots of tea with honey and lemon, but need to deal with pain, swelling and low energy.
Any advice welcome.
Over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medicine for sore throat.
>>17346660
raw honey and small sips of whiskey are my go to. having kids around may make the whiskey thing a bad idea though
>>17346984
Don't have any and i have 3 kids to watch so i can't go to the store.
>go to work
>go home
Anyone else do this?
I seriously don't go out unless I have to. I love being comfortable, and I'm comfortable in my home.
My girlfriend hates it, and wishes we'd do more stuff out of the house, but I'm perfectly content.
It's like, 100+ outside, and airconditioned inside.
I've got a big screen, a big comfy couch, my computer, my bed, my food, everything. I work hard, and put money into making my house even more comfortable for me, why do the majority of people I meet find it odd.
All the time at work, I'm asked "What'd you do this weekend" And, everytime I tell them "Nothing" And, they're always so shocked, except the few times they're like "yeah, we all gotta do that every once in awhile I guess"
I don't know what the fuck these people are doing, but it sounds like a lot of bullshit I'd rather not be doing.
>>17346610
Every once in a while, yeah, but as my default routine? No, that'd be awful and boring. I can only consume so much media of other people living their lives. I want to be out building my own narrative, talking to others about life, experiencing new foods and drinks and sights and smells and everything the world has to offer.
But yeah, yesterday I spent the entire day in bed watching movies, and today I'm working from home and plan to stay max comfy. Every once in a while that's needed.
>>17346622
I don't know, like I used to be an avid go getter, from 17-22 I did a lot of self exploration. Months spent on the road, partying, getting drunk, doing drugs. And, I lost that drive completely. I have a been there done that mentality, and have no want in life except to be comfortable.
My boss asked me what I wanted out of my career last year, and I told him "I'd just like to retire." with a chuckle.
>>17346610
Well as a kid I was mostly outside with friends, and now living the complete opposite of that I do miss it, but I still like sitting home playing a good game or watching a good movie. It's just a matter of preference.
Anyone here have eating issues?
I went to Afghanistan in 2011, a few months before we returned to the US, I noticed that my appetite was lacking. Once I returned to the states I started having bad cramping and GI pain. I reported the issues and went to the hospital and underwent a Endoscopy and a Colonoscopy. The doctors didn't find any cause for my problems. They said to them, everything looks healthy and normal. for the last few years the cramping has gone away. But my appetite is still pretty low. For example, I can't eat very much solid food within 3 hours or so of waking up. More or less, within that time frame, the most I could put down is 1 egg. If I try to stuff more down, I feel REALLY full, and it feels as if my throat closed off and like there is a physical wall preventing more from going down.Much later in the day I can consume more.
Just curious if anyone has any ideas. Because the doctors said they have no medical explanation.
Sounds psychological. Is there some reason you wouldn't be eating?
Does something disgust you?
Are you generally fit or worried about your health?
Cramping can come from not eating or drinking enough
/fit/ might be a good board too
>>17346612
Could it be a psychological reaction from stress when I was overseas? It was years ago tho, like I said the cramping is gone now. But even eating 3 of these Donut holes is very filling to me, and I only woke up 2 hours ago.
even food I like its hard to finish. I feel embarrassed a lot when I go out with friends and eat. hell... One time I went on a date with a girl, and we got lunch together, I couldn't even touch my food. I had 1 bite and felt full. I tried to force food down but actually started choking because my body was telling me I was full to the rim even tho I actually wasn't. It was super embarrassing.
As far as health goes, to a doctor, I'm healthy. I'm 25 years old, don't get sick like ever, I'm skinny, but not dangerously skinny. I'm 5ft 11in 145lbs. I exercise and can do physical tasks ok. just, eating can be a chore, and I would like to put on more weight, but it's impossible with my appetite.
>>17346597
Diet change
stress
digestive system maturing
Parasites
thyroid
Anorexic
plethora of eating disorders
Food sensitivity.
I underwent something similar to you when i was in my late 20's Cramping so bad i lost consciousness. Could only eat white rice and eggs. Did all the test you did and all came back normal. I had to slowly reintroduce complex foods into my diet from scratch otherwise i felt bloated and sick. took me about 2 years to be able to eat greasy food again. Take your time.
I seem to have a fetish, and I need to either know what it is called so I can go bother other people for ideas, or I need ideas.
Basically I enjoy painful/inconvenient beauty rituals. I dry brush daily (don't buy the lymph thing, don't know if it's better than my previous exfoliation, but damn is it inconvenient), have been tightlacing/waist training for 4 years, epilate all my body hair, maintain an insane skincare regimen, wear a complicated array of foundation garments, eat/supplement a specific way, take ridiculously good care of my hair+elaborate healthy styling of it, run every day, lift weights religiously, enjoy the hell out of wearing my essix retainer, and that's about it.
I want more.
A few stipulations:
First, it either has to do nothing or at least do no aesthetic harm. Some limited health harm is okay. For example, I would buy an expensive product that doesn't do shit, but I won't buy one that would harm my skin even if it is the most painful, time-consuming and ritualized thing in the world. Health-wise, I won't take supplements that could fuck me up long term, particularly hormonally, but I will occasionally go on a water fast for fun.
Second, I prefer things that are outwardly subtle. Example: my corseted waist is about 6 inches less than my natural waist (so from 24 to 18), but with the exception of some dresses, I never show it off. Day to day, I keep it under loose/normal clothes and enough foundational garments to obscure the details of it. So it might be clear that I'm shapely under my t-shirt, but no hint of the waspy goodness within. I focus on radiant skin rather than clown makeup, etc etc.
Bonus points for really sexist/old-timey shit. Double bonus if it tickles my weebish fancy.
Spend my first years corseting in non-fetish waist training communities, the tightlacing fetishers seem more concerned with appearances/their Dom's cocks, than the discipline and reality of wearing.
Is there a name for this shit?
Bump.
No one on adv right now wants to help me torture myself?
Unhealthy obsession with health and beauty: orthorexia.
Pictures please
My dog died. I don't really care. I've had it forever, I took care oof it, but it dying dosen't really make me sad. I don't see why people attach so much value to animals.
Does that make me a bad guy?
It's normal to care for animals with a lot of personality, animals that love you and most importantly animals that ARENT ANNOYING .
I don't think I'd miss a small curly haired piece of shit mop looking dog as much as I'd miss something loving like a floppy beagle or a goofy bulldog.
I know this sounds cruel and selective, but people have bred dogs for selective traits for centuries. They're all objectively cute- but some aren't really ones I'd ever own because I know I wouldn't feel close to them.
it just means you didn't love your dog or ever become attached to it
so its okay I guess but then why have a dog anyway?
animals can be an extremely effective type of therapy but it just doesn't work for some people I suppose
>>17346571
How long has it been since the dog died? You could be going through the emotional circle right now. Need to know what the most likely next state is.
What kind of non prescription drugs are deadly mixed with alcohol.
For research purposes, hard to find anything in google.
>>17346568
More alcohol.
More seriously, "deadly" is dependent almost entirely on dosage. So you can die on only alcohol. I think most over the counter drugs that you aren't supposed to mix with alcohol are just because of liver damage though. I can't think of anything that would actually kill you in a small dosage mixed with alcohol.
Unless you are allowed to include things that'll kill you with or without alcohol. Like bleach....
Don't kill yourself anon.
>>17346568
Acetaminophen, or anything with a sedative effect, could kill you when mixed with alcohol, but neither would be a quick, clean, or painless death--acetaminophen and booze can cause liver failure, and the other would usually be a barfy mess.
Zzzzquil with alcohol. make sure you sleep on your back to increase chances of choking on own puke
If an SO promises to change their shitty behavior, and it seems so raw and genuine, should you give them a chance or flee?
Give them a chance. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman -
If they think you're worth it they will change. Although, being open about your intention to break up over shifty behavior should be brought up.
Be caring, but stern for what you think makes a healthy relationship.
>>17346544
That's what my heart is telling me, but friends disagree. Ultimately it is my choice, though
How shitty was the shotty behavior and what steps are they taking to change? It's really common for people not to give a shit until you're about to leave, then they get desperate and reel you back in with promises to change, but always revert to how they used to be
>28
>just failed my first semester of college
>have crappy part time job
>things have been hard since parents passed and all family members out right dogged me
>family trying to still fk me over by trying to beg any moneys that I make
>gf is acting like a bitch and being distant the last few days
>feel like wtf is the point of life
>fml
wtf should I do, someone tell me, i feel like im absolutely fkd
A lot of people fail their first semester of college / university. Depending on the High School you went to, the work load will be a massive increase, and the level to which you have to write will be a major step up, also.
Deal with things systematically. Understand why you failed your first semester, learn what you can do better. Keep working your part time job. Cut off all contact with your family members if they're not directly benefiting you. Communicate with your girlfriend, talk to her about what's wrong.
Shit get's bad, but you can always rebound. Keep your head up.
Quit college, as you're already in debt for something (I'm guessing) for something that isn't working out.
Once you have the spare time from this, find a better part time job you might enjoy a little more. Look for something more open, light hearted or fun.
Dump your girlfriend, as you need a shoulder in these obvious trying times. Sometimes a positive partner works wonders for ALL of these things
Go back to school when you find something you're passionate about you won't fail at. Don't go to college when you're preoccupied, just because you feel obliged for whatever reason you might be speculating.
>>17346518
do you want to keep doing college? if yes, then study hard so you won't fail twice.
if not, then quit now before you make more debt. evaluate yourself, apply for better jobs. the more applications you send, the more and better job offers you'll get.
Starting college soon
All I want is to make enough money to shit on the people who bullied me. Tell me what major to pick
>>17346493
Medicine
>>17346493
>does things to make other people envy him
you're starting off wrong.
>>17346502
I'm smarter than you, I can do it
Why do you think they bullied me? Because I was smarter than them. Soon it will be my turn
Also if I can't do this my biggest regret will be not shooting the place up
