Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1032. page
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Growing up I didn't really fit in. I got in with the gamer crowd kind of people, was that creepy weird silent kid you hear about who shoots up the school on the news.
I was the same through college. I was a little bitch. However now, I am almost 21, and I have changed a lot. My job forced me to kind of evolve, and I've become a lot better with people. But I still go red in the face when I address groups of people. Today it happened, but I wasn't nervous or anxious at all really, it just happens. I can't stop it. This girl pointed it out in front of...
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I still do it too. Bumping for interest.
I was the same. I still get like that at times.
I taught for 2 years. I have done numerous NUMEROUS presentations for my previous work. Still, some times I get red, some times I'm confident.
My advice: just keep at it.
Put yourself out there. In uncomfortable position to talk to people in that way. Eventually, with practice, you will get better.
BUT. Until then. Breath deep. Keep your chin up. Smile. Keep your arms out. Those things WILL in fact help your brain to think that you are good. Trick your mind.
>>16998813
It's ok anon, most people will politely ignore it. If someone comments on it tell them you know but can't help it, they say something to try and make you more comfy.
I have no problems with speaking in public, but that doesn't mean I secretly laugh at people who get nervous about it. As that would actually concern the majority of people.
I'm 26 years old and I've been dating a girl for about two years that told me when we first started dating that she has had a number of sexual partners before me.
They were all when she was pretty young and she even made a sex tape with one guy (she told me early on that he kept it for awhile then she made him delete it).
So the problem is..... I love the shit out of her.
She makes me laugh, she supports me in everything I do, she comes to all of my shows (I'm a struggling musician), stays up with me when I'm practicing; she's...
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>>16998807
>Everyone on this board keeps telling me that the dicks she had before me is supposed to disqualify her from being wifey material but I'd be super stoked to marry this woman.
4chan is overrun by people with low self-esteem. If you don't feel bad, then don't worry about it.
>So whats going on here? Am I actually fucked without realizing it? Is my happiness a lie? What fucking gives???
You're letting people with different standards...
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>>16998820
>You're letting people with different standards get to you.
I mean, they haven't so far but after SO MANY people say the same thing I start to wonder if I'm missing something, know what I mean?
>>16998831
>but after SO MANY people say the same thing I start to wonder if I'm missing something
Again, certain types of people, typically ones with relationship issues or weird hang ups, tend to congregate here. People have no reason to complain about their amazing relationships, so you won't really see them on here unless they pop in to give others advice (and then they're immediately called names to invalidate anything they have to say). We're a jaded lot.
How do I help a virgin that I'm seeing come out of their shell in terms of sexuality? We're of opposite gender, so it's nothing to do with orientation, but rather that he associates sex with degrading a woman, and seems ashamed that he has sexual desires, although I know that he isn't asexual.
For context, he was raised in a female dominated environment with no father figure, and he's 24 years old, your stereotypical /v/irgin that rarely leaves the house (although he does have a part time job at the local corner shop).
>>16998802
kek i like this picture
i have the same issue as that guy,
bump out of interest
Maybe you can ask her? Sit down, cuddle, and then ask, gently.
She will have the best understanding. Hopefully she could be forthcoming.
Bf is hooked on porn. He's been hooked for 8 years, we've been together for 2. Sex is pretty shitty and great other times. We don't have enough sex because he faps and is not in the mood when I come home.
Anyway, I am doing shitty things now. I met someone online and we have cyber sex, he makes me feel good and tells me how great my body is etc, things my boyfriend doesn't do. Is this cheating? Should I tell my boyfriend?
Also, my bf and I have talked about this issue for better half of the time we have been together and it's just not changing....
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>>16998789
Well to be honest even if you tell him I doubt he would care since it sounds like he clearly wants other unattainable girls more than you.
Just dont worry too much about it
>>16998789
>Is this cheating? Should I tell my boyfriend?
Yes and yes. If you have to hide something like that from your boyfriend, then you know it's wrong.
>Also, my bf and I have talked about this issue for better half of the time we have been together and it's just not changing.
And it's not going to in the future, so I don't know why the hell you think sticking around is a good idea. Relationships can't run on love alone....
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>>16998794
Okay so I shouldn't be honest about this thing with him?
>it sounds like he clearly wants other unattainable girls more than you.
Exactly... Which is why I don't really feel bad... It's a weird feeling not to feel guilty about it. I only feel guilty for hiding it because I feel like I am lying to him.
>Move in with partner.
>We both work a fair bit. I work 3-4 days a week for 9-hour shifts, and she works a standard nine to five sorta deal full-time.
>I tend to do most of the housework, i.e. clean the floors, vacuum, clean bathroom/toilet, take trash out and clean the kitchen.
>She stacks the dishwasher and cleans the litter box for the cat. That's it.
>Fine, she works more, it is okay.
>On...
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Welp?
>>16998763
If you're working a lot less, then it's clear that you'll be the one to do more at home. If you had similar hours/work days, then it should even out. When I wasn't working, I did everything at home. All the clean up, laundry, cooking, lunch, etc. Then when I got a job, and I was still working less days/hours, it was still on me. If I had 2-4 spare days, why shouldn't one of them go to cleaning? But now that our hours/days are similar, we share chores equally and he cooks on some days.
You are misrepresenting the time, however. I have 1-2 days free during the week, which I am doing a lot of errands and other practical stuff for myself as well (I study as well and have family commitments). The weekend I would like to spend together, and not spend 1 day just on chores that would be really a breeze if she chipped in on one day a week. I am happy to do the rest.
Hey /adv
I have a friend that's studying math at uni/college however he's a unsure about career options seeing as the only ones he knows of are research and teaching
He doesn't want to go into engineering cause he believes that is the main job of people who are half good at maths
Any advice you can give him /adv?
pic unrelated
>>16998724
Go for it.
I mean if he is serious and not just do math because it sounds cool then this is the site he should be spending time on instead of wasting his time on 4chan
http://math.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/soft-question?sort=votes&pageSize=15
This specific tag caters to your type of question.
And then when he is mature enough (i.e. people start paying him to do math) go to this site
http://mathoverflow.net/questions/2358/most-harmful-heuristic/2370#2370
Good luck...
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>>16998724
without going into the 'math phd, any job you want, 100kk salary starting out' meme, there are a number of opportunities open.
financial shit is what pays the best, then it's comp sci, and there are doors open for enterpereurship too. just, don't ever expect an 'easy' jig like a code monkey, he's training to be the one that makes and understands models, he's going to be the one that exploits them to make shiploads of money for his employer. if he can't do that, his...
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>>16998724
actuary
banking
finance
stocks and bonds
accounting
I've been floundering in college for a few quarters now, and starting to realize that I'm really not cut out to get the rest of the way through and that I'm really not that good at the things I need to learn. I really have no motivation to do anything anymore, including the things I love, and just feel like a tired empty lazy excuse for a human that is wasting resources others are spending on me. The desire to kill myself has been growing incredibly strong and it's getting harder to convince myself not to. How can I find motivation to continue not just in...
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>>16998722
>How can I find motivation to continue not just in college but in living?
You don't.
You just put up with it.
Tolerant with it.
Thinking about choosing to kill yourself or continue to live everyday.
The nightmare will never end till the day you die.
>>16998726
>The nightmare will never end till the day you die.
Then why shouldn't I just make the nightmare shorter?
>>16998729
Because passing your nightmare off to people who know you and who are probably quite happy is a serious dick move. No rational human being does that, so swallow your irrationality and keep living your shit situation, because yes that is one million times a better choice.
Hey /adv/
I've been having these (recurring) nightmares for a while now, about 7 months. They're generally about my ex-girlfriend and us getting back together. They are a very nice illusion while dreaming but I feel drained as soon as I wake up, which is why I prefer to call them nightmares.
But lately, I've also been having nightmares about other things such as my grandfather dying or my sister's relationship ending, or dying in general.
Do you know of anything that could lessen or cease the nightmares, without consulting a psychiatrist?...
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5-HTP
>>16998677
>Do you know of anything that could lessen or cease the nightmares
Yes, change your life entirely.
Like changing everything.
Leaving the country, leaving everyone you knew.
>>16998682
I have a study to complete in my country. It is however mandatory for everyone following the course to go abroad for two periods of 6 months to do internships and studies.
I was thinking to go to South Africa around this time, but only for two weeks. I don't think a holiday will fix this.
how many 1mg lorazepams does it take to kill my self?
somebody fucking tell me.
All of them just take all of them
no because id only get fucked up.
My Interests are confined to games and TV shows only, and since these are the only two topics I really know about I come off as unintelligible since I cant chime in on many common topics like music, sports ect.
Im 20, whats the common dialog of 20 yo's?
Also Since i have been anti socal for the past year, I think I have lost some of my wit. are there any methods I can follow to become more articulate?
>>16998620
No, you permanently run on a different track to your peers. Shouldn't have spent 15+ years on vidya.
Uh...reddit frontpage stuff I guess. And talking to actual people
>>16998620
Talking to people is the most important. Those at the highest echelons of social ability don't relate to each other about the game or anything. They just talk, and it doesn't have to be about anything.
>>16998639
This guy's dead wrong, tons of people these days relate over vidya and TV. It's good to have other interests though so just find someone who likes that shit and then find some other interest to get into from them (or on your own)...
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Thinking of becoming a nurse, would it be looked down on or seen as underachieving since it's more of a professional school and I didn't go for med school? Mostly people who barely made it out of high school apply of it.
I already have a university diploma, but in a different field. All of my family take a dim view at this sudden choice of changing careers. Anyone here who is a nurse could tell more about how it is? I'm thinking of working in a laboratory or some psychiatric ward.
Think real fucking hard about it OP. A nurse is a not just a job. A million people apply but few get to retire from nursing. Why? Because if you don't actually want to be a nurse, you will end up absolutely hating the job and anything related to nursing. I'm 24, ex nurse and I'm looking into alternatives. Ill start fresh next year.
>>16998628
>will end up absolutely hating the job and anything related
Isn't that the case with most of the jobs? The demanding ones at least and which you get into without liking anything about it...
Is nursing so bad? Especially as a 20-something. I'm too old for med school nor do I have the brains for it anymore.
What alternatives are you looking into?
>>16998643
Nursing is bad because if you're not ok with 15hr shifts that are high stress and shit everywhere you should probably not do nursing.
A guy sharing a hotel room with a person he has met via the web and met together a few times irl as he has no one to travel with
vs.
A girl and her group of friends visiting an online friend of hers together whom she has been chatting with for two years in a public area in a foreign country
Both of these events take place in a foreign country where they do not really speak the local language.
>>16998570
Second one because they are weak females.
>>16998570
Why are you posting this again? You really need to find better things to do, Brandon.
>>16998646
What? Who is Brandon?
Yeah I posted this again. I am thinking about 2 and I think this may be very dangerous for me. Last time nobody really posted a proper response to my thread.
So a guy backed into my motorcycle at work and I have no idea if anything is wrong with it besides some scratches on the body. The guy gave me his insurance. What can I do? What should I do?
>>16998474
I've got full coverage btw.
looks like you're in a position to get money to repair the damages if you want.
>>16998476
I can tell the obvious damages but what if my frame is bent? I don't know how to tell and that could end up making me go through tires like crazy.
How does /adv/ feel about porn during a relationship? I used it during because I was so used it before it started, but I just got engaged a while ago so I stopped. The more I avoid it the more I want it. I used to kik girls all the time but recently deleted it to avoid temptation, but naturally I'm craving it more and more now (despite my amazing relationship). Any other anon's in the same boat? Thoughts appreciated!
can't you just bang your soon to be wife and not be temped by boring porn?
Religious, no sex before marriage bro
>Getting married
>Haven't even discussed porn yet.
Have fun with the divorce.
Please don't marry someone unless you've discussed LITERALLY EVERYTHING with them.
How would you react to this situation? I don't even know where to start.
Long story (over 13 years) short:
>One day dad says I have a half sister a few years older than me
>Dad tells mom if she didn't like it then she can gtfo
>all kinds of "evidence" (pics, emails, etc) that they're real
>Can't meet my half sister cause dad says her mom is psycho and won't let us unless she gets my dad back
>He...
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He's lying about the porn star so your mom will stfu. I reckon the half-sister is real and he has probably been in semi-regular contact and sends them money (or even child support). This is what he's hiding.
If your mom wants a divorce he may just let it happen, but on his timing because he will need to prepare financially.
haha holy fuck
>>16998409
Find your half sister, track her down and seduce her. Get her pregnant and marry her, then tell her that you're her half brother. Seems to be the best option to continue the crazy family dynamic you guys have going.
