Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1025. page
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I fear death. Well, not exactly. To quote a song that I can't recall the name of, "It's not death that scares (me), it's the ghost (I) cannot see." The instant of death doesn't bother me, rather the concept of nonexistence that follows.
I was raised in a very religious household; my father's "calling" was to be a minister in the church, as it were. I was taught at a very young age the inevitability of death, but that this life mattered little in regards of the grand scheme of things.
Perhaps the children of clergymen are predisposed to lose faith. I did, certainly. It's difficult to remain faithful in a god who is interpreted to you primarily through someone you know thoroughly, as I began to doubt my religion as the humanity of my father made itself so incredibly obvious.
As the looming reality of mortality waxed and the idea of greater meaning waned, I found myself pretty unable to distract myself. The prudence of my upbringing left me with friends few and far between, and the repression of sexuality has left me thoroughly positioned in an iredeemable zone of awkward, kissless virginity. The only "relationship" I ever had was online, and I had to compromise my sexuality for the opportunity at feeling affection from at least someone.
University was tough, at least, the first semesters I attended. I was temporarily removed from campus by counselor fears of me being suicidal, though I believe it was just a very overwhelming transitional period. I was beginning to do better. Unfortunately I was 1.2 points in Physics short of maintaining my scholarship, so it was suspended for a semester. The proceeding events had left me a mess to date.
My parents, who I may have had reasons to dislike, but none to distrust, offered to pay for mys suspended semester. I went, and did fine enough to get my scholarship reinstated. Unfortunately, they never actually paid. They let the debt go in my name and let it be, not informing me until I attempted to register for the next semester and was shown to owe over $8,000 in debt. Not being able to go the next semester permanently forfeit my financial aid, and I discovered that my credit had been negatively affected from an unrelated loan taken out in my name by my parents.
I've since been out of school 18 months. I cannot afford it, though I'm hoping such will be different if I can land a job I'm applying for to replace my current one. I have no friends that aren't online and of varying availability, no loved ones aside form an ex who I've since gone fully no-contact with, and a family that I cannot trust but currently must depend on.
I'm afraid to try new things. I don't know why fully, but it's as if whenever I'm under the roof of this place, I'm immediately in a sour, melancholy mood. Nothing seems to help it. I cannot afford to move out with my current job (though if I land the one I applied for, I will be able to move out and return to school). I've been trying to get into the same two things since I started university (Drawing and music production) but always only maintain effort for around a week before forfeiting to the idea of never truly being cared about for it.
I believe I'm afraid to start things that take any considerable amount of time because I fear thinking about a passage of time so long and its inevitable march toward my likely unremarkable death. I wish I could believe in at least something, or care about something enough to not worry, but I can't.
I know thinking about dying happens from time to time, but it's literally an all-consuming thought for me. I can't enjoy anything, or even try to meet new people without fearing the inevitable loss, the inevitable nothingness. I get that anti-straw men can thrive under such a mindset, but I can't bring myself to do anything but feel miserable and hopeless over any ambitions that well up within me, and I just want to stop everything. I haven't progressed as a person in years.
>>17001277
I wasn't going to read your thread (and I didn't), but this caught my eye:
>I believe I'm afraid to start things that take any considerable amount of time because I fear thinking about a passage of time so long and its inevitable march toward my likely unremarkable death. I wish I could believe in at least something, or care about something enough to not worry, but I can't.
Basically everything in life is risk. That is risk is giving up time for questionable gain. You can try or you can do nothing. But nothing is a choice too. The argument for nothing is marginal enjoyment, but let's be honest, you aren't enjoying that shit, are you?
Hey all
I've fallen in love and I don't know what to do.
There wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for me being in a relationship. I know cheating is never an option.
I have been in a relationship for over 2 years. I lost the lovey dovey feeling half a year ago. Now recently I've developed feelings for another girl.
Is this bound to happen in any relationship? Do I have to get used to it and not act upon my feelings? I've tried to rationally think about it, and convinced myself I should stay with my girlfriend, as even if I'd end up with the other girl, the same might happen.
Yet I also fear for finding out my current relationship really isn't it after 2, 3, 4 or even more years and basically wasting time and effort..
>>17001256
Bump
In all relationships the lovey dovey feeling goes away. Congrats you are no longer in the honeymoon phase, and probably experiencing "grass is green on the other side".
>>17001344
I had a relationship before and the "honeymoon phase" must have lasted 3 years then as I have not experienced this before.
The grass is greener is not true as I believe I can see differences between humans. Not every human is equal.
After finally having access to a therapist through the VA and having talked to her a few times I was diagnosed with depression, which doesn't make sense as most of the time now I'm fine, even my anger has gotten better. Tbh, it had gotten so bad that I was planning on shooting up my college for about 5-6 months and almost did it before dad found a shit ton of gopher gassers in my car. For the most part I'm feeling better than I was but not good yet.
I'm not really hurting most of the time I just feel... kinda here ya know? I don't feel or care for much of anything. Nothing excites or motivates me anymore. I just have to do what I'm told.
>I don't want a job
>I don't want a gf
>I don't want to do a bunch of random shit for my family
I just want to be left the fuck alone. I don't get why people assume I want what everyone else wants. It sounds pathetic, but all I'd like is a small house out in the woods and live alone. I don't want to "le contribute to society".
Peace
and
Quiet
It's all I'd ask for. But no, I'm apperantly not functional enough to go where I want, make my own decisions, manage my own time, manage my own money, drink when I want, but what I want.
I'm just worried about days like these that make me want to swallow a shotgun barrel.
Bit of a rant but I'd like some insight
*buy what I want
>>17001228
You sound like a danger to yourself and most importantly others. I would suggest you check yourself into a mental hospital.
It doesn't sound ridiculous at all. In matter of fact, it would be good for mankind in general if this sort of modest mindstate was more common. We've far too many people pursuing shallow, self-centered goals consuming the planet.
You know, it's not a far-fetched idea to want to live by yourself. If you can manage it, you should strive for independence. Work any menial job long enough to save some money and do just that, move out into the woods. What else would you be doing, anyway?
My friend has failing organs, liver and kidneys to be exact. And let's just say they only have 6 months to live with no treatment, and 2 years to live with painful treatment. My friend has considered using to MMJ help releve some symptoms of chemotherapy, is this safe to do given his failing organs? Let's hear some really honest opinions /adv/ don't hold back!
PS. My friend is also a recovered Herrioin addict turned church official. So this might also be a factor in his choice in action.
>>17001208
what is mmj?
MMJ = Medical Marijuana
>>17001217
this is probably better asked to a doctor or something, but as far as i know medical marijuana doesnt have many if any negative side effects. its actually generally prescribed for chemo. i know he has failing organs but at the very least he should be fine to vape it if not smoke it or eat it.
i think its kinda beautiful, someone ditching drugs, then returning to them to enjoy whats left before death
Any divorce advice for a guy that's more than likely heading that direction? Own a house together and have one kid.
>inb4 "married"
For any anons that think the women your with is different and shit would never hit the fan.... Yeah I thought like that too. DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.
Already been stashing cash for the last couple months now. Going to start selling my smaller not so noticeable stuff very soon. Anything else?
>>17001143
Get everything in order.
I saw it coming. I lied to myself. I was unhappy.
We had a joint account. She cheated on me, kicked me out and moved all the money into her account.
We also had a kid and a house.
I moved cross-country and started life over again.
Best decision ever. In fact, I'm glad I got married at a young age so I could get divorced. Puts shit into perspective.
>>17001160
What happened to your kid? Leaving her hardly bothers me but I can't stand the idea of someone else raising my boy.
>>17001173
She kicked me out and left me with nothing and had her deadbeat boyfriend with a DUI move in.
I see him over Skype.
C'est la vie.
So long story short, I finally managed to get a date with my ex whom I wanted to get in touch with for a while.
Problem is, even after how amazing and SO much better than expected it was, we haven't stayed in contact. It's been 3 days.
It went so well, he kept saying how good I looked (I lost some weight) and we talked so much, he had seen a glance of me somewhere few weeks ago and thought I looked "sexy", he said he noticed I'm more positive and confident, and without me bringing anything up said "hey let's take things slow, it was good to see you, let's do this again"..
What should I do? Am I overthinking?
Oh, and yeah we fucked.
That's where I'm certain I goofed, if at all.
>>17001140
Are you really that dumb?
All he wanted to do was to bang. I mean, I can see it in your own wording of the situation.
Or this is just bait.
>>17001140
>got a date with my ex
>dated my ex
>X'd with my ex
Stop it.
I've spent my entire life with no friends. I can't connect with people at all. Everyone has always felt "foreign" to me, almost as if humanity is just a different species altogether. I wake up, go to work, go to school, go home, and go to sleep. The same thing, over and over. I go to school and I go to work simply because it's what I'm supposed to do. 90% of the time I just exist. I don't feel happy, angry, or anything. This has been going on since I was 14. Whenever I visit sites about getting better, it always mentions talking to your friends, or trusted family member. I have neither of those. And I doubt I ever will. People are too hard to understand, and I suppose it hurts that I never will. It feels like I'm wasting my time, still being here. I'm not even sure what kind of advice I'm asking here. Sorry.
>>17001106
just bee urself
>>17001106
perfectly describes me (minus school) not to mention all the backstabbing supposed friends have done to me but thats whatever
also cant give you advice either but know your not alone in your thought processes
It takes practice to be able to talk to people and connect with them. Normally we are conditioned since infancy to do this, but some people get out of sync with people for a period of time and lose the ability. Which makes it difficult when you want to make friends later on.
I suggest going to your school psychologist and speaking with them. They will help you make progress in being able to connect with people.
EU oldfag checking in here.
Offering very free advice on relationship's.
Been happily married for 16 years myself, and dated several girls before that.
Questions are welcome.
are you sunni, or shiite muslim?
how do I earn a shy girls trust?
met her online, had a first date last week.
She doesnt say much on her own, doesnt ask me much aswell and has problems with eye contact. But she gives me enough signs that she likes me. She is 19 and im mid twenties.
problem is, i was like her at that age and im not terrifically outgoing myself.
my plan is: keep making her laught salted with some light compliments and maybe get more touchy. Second date will be a movie so i will try to hold her hand :)
>>17001129
Remember you only been dating for 1 week, so it's very new for her and she might already had to push some of her limits - Don't rush her, it will come.
What do you do when I closely identify with Bukowski and just have no interest in this world?
Hang out with my friends and do shit to keep myself occupied until the sense of sorrow goes away.
>>17001064
You realize you're a giant faggot like that guy is.
>>17001128
You realize you need to be 18 or older to post here.
Does sex as a man require you to be physically fit?
Not that I'll ever have it desu
It can be a pretty strenuous activity depending on how you do it. Endurance is very helpful
>>17001004
Dude I'm pretty in shape and I'm always sweating buckets during sex, I can't imagine a fat ass fucking a girl, poor girl is gonna be drenched in your greasy sweat. Fuck that's gross.
>>17001004
Never been fat but I think being fit makes it so much better as a guy. I've fucked bigger girls and it doesn't matter cuz they can just lay there but it's usually up to the guy to be pumping. Sure she can be on top and grind on you but that shit feels better for her anyway. Not having a gut in the way lets you get deeper too.
I work at a hospital doing IT and coding/programing.
The hospital had a huge phone conference call today involving the hospital and 20+ practices, over 5000 employees listening in. The CEO had made an announcement that the hospitals billing programs, medical programs etc etc would be changing in 6-12 months. The problem is the company creating the new programs outsources the IT and business work to India. Meaning Anyone working IT, billing, coding, basically any one that uses the computer daily for work their job is at risk to being outsourced.
The CEO told everyone not to panic and said they'd let everyone know in 6 - 12 months what is happening with their jobs. Needless to say EVERYONE IS PISSED. Should I be worrying?
>>17000987
I'd say don't lose your cool but looking for another job, even just casually, wouldn't be a bad idea.
Yes, because if you were actually competent in your field in any tiny fragment of a degree you'd know that either
1) You can't be replaced by poo in the loo
or
2) If you were replaced, the company is trash and you should be thankful you're getting unemployment/severance while you go find a respectable company
However, you fall into the last category
3) Somebody who doesn't actually do a fucking thing, a helpdesk jocky who thinks they program by writing a two line batch file and resets AD passwords and fixes outlook all day
>>17001000
This
For a long time I thought I had simply grown out of holding resentment for other people. I'm a senior in university and haven't really felt lingering dislike since I was in high school. I've got a lot of emotional flaws, fear of intimacy, pathological lying, overall insecurity, but hate seemed like something that I had just conquered.
Then I started working at starbucks. I could probably go on a several paragraph rant about two of my co-workers but I really don't want to indulge in that kind of emotion. In short, I have so much disdain for them that sometimes I just imagine cutting them or watching them burn up in flames. That's seriously not healthy and I really dislike myself for letting thoughts like that enter my head but oh god do that happen often
Maybe its because I'm just not used to disliking people I work with and are stuck around for multiple hours at a time. I don't know, how should I approach these feelings and go back to when they weren't a part of my life?
oh
I'm afraid I came off as an edgelord and that wasn't my intent, pls someone give me some guidance
>>17000986
No advice OP, but I feel the same way
is it normal for a doctor to borderline yell at you during a pregnancy scare? I went in saying I found out I had a condom break and she basically told me to get my life together and get a fucking job etc etc, I left the office crying. Made me feel like shit because I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm feeling okay, I just applied to college and i know what I want to do blah blah blah
guess I'm just a little upset and scared about the whole thing, really wasn't expecting to get eaten out about it
man FUCK those people, they lash out at a random person for personal shit
i had the same shit happen to me with a taxi driver, faggot made me miserable the whole day
next time just fucking bail and complain to the boss, no one has to put up with that shit
>>17000976
thanks friend, I dunno if I'm unreasonably upset over it, never gone through anything like any of this before
like it was a horrible mistake on our part and i would have expected to get yelled at by my mom or dad or friends but never my doctor. totally caught me off guard
>>17001011
The way she went about it was completely uncalled for. You're completely justified to be upset about this.
Maybe talk to a higher up of hers and let them know about this.
I'm 20 years old and my dad left my family when I was 8. Haven't heard from him since. My mom hates guys and tells me to stay away from them because they suck, good for nothing, etc. But I talk to guys and see them without her knowing.
I let them use me for sex then after I feel horrible. When I stop hanging out with them it's like what's the point in doing anything, why even wake up in the morning. I enjoy the attention, love, and being with someone who has an interest in me. But to them I'm just another girl. I feel like shit when things don't go right between me and the guy. I also feel like shit when I have no one to talk to or be with.
get your own opinions and hobbies and talk about them. If you don't want guys to keep seeing you as just another girl and only calling you when they're horny, stop being just another girl, give men a reason to want to hang out with you that isn't between your legs.
And yes, there are guys who will only ever see you as a walking talking vaginal support system with a pretty body, stop contacting them. Find the guys who want to talk to you and do stuff with you that isn't in a bedroom and stick with them. Don't be like your mom, who undoubtedly went with a string of guys like that because it's easy, got burned, and just decided all men are shit instead of engaging in any self reflection.
soo what is the connection to your father?
stop blaming your thotness on him
>>17000964
>When I stop hanging out with them it's like what's the point in doing anything.
Its because you're a woman, outside sex, you're useless.
Hey /adv/, I'm looking into taking the plunge and starting online dating. But what's the best site to use? Do certain types of people use different sites? Any tips for particular sites? Any information would be helpful, thank you.
If you need some info, I'm male, 20 years old, and living in Britbong land. Pic unrelated, of course.
>>17000926
Bump a rump.
unless you are physically attractive your success rate will be close to nil
>>17000926
Nothing at all? Damn,
![wallpaper-344009[3].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/b1Sc1t7.jpg "wallpaper-344009[3]")
