Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1034. page
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I just wanted to see if anyone here can help me figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. For a long while I've been having urges to scoop out my eyes (I know it's not major depression because I feel fine) and I have problems sleeping at night because I feel bugs crawling all over me (not psychosis or schizo, cant be THAT severe.) so what's wrong with me and how do I get better, /adv/?
This is definitely a form of schzophrenia and you should see a psychiatrist. I had something similar happen. Get help.
>>16997821
Agreed
>>16997821
OP here,
Can a schizo know he's one?
I have pretty bad social anxiety. Someone on another board even mentioned that it sounded like Avoidant Personality Disorder
Well, whatever it may be, it's really starting to mess everything up, it seems. Like, it just keeps growing and getting worse. I stopped attending a couple of my classes just because one of my peers spoke to me
My self esteem is getting progressively worse as well. It sometimes feels like I could never despise someone as much as myself and I'm ashamed of my entire existence. I do have one close relationship and it was good, but now I'm getting a little paranoid. Like she doesn't like me, she can't like me. I feel like there's some ulterior motive or maybe I'm a placeholder or something
Ah anyway, my point is, it's just keeps getting worse. I'm too afraid to go to school, find a job or even leave the room, so I was thinking about seeing a psychiatrist? But the problem with that is that I'm afraid. I'm worried that they'll think I'm just being stupid and I know it's their job to kind of hear you out but I'm afraid of what they'll think or say and the whole idea of spending an half an hour or so there and I'm worried I'll be too afraid to speak and that I'll waste their time or something
Has anyone with social anxiety ever visited a psychiatrist for help? Have you coped without one? Is it something you just have to power through?
No. My anxiety got worse and worse. Couldn't get out of bed. Felt like I was choking all the time.
Went to psychiatrist and am on Prozac and xanax. Life is much more tolerable now.
>>16997706
go to a therapist first and seek guidance on facing your fears.
drugs are a last result for people who are chemically fucked up.
>>16997751
How many visits until you stopped seeing them/got meds? I don't have insurance right now and am pretty poor and am depending on savings at the moment
This might be a rant. I still don't feel the same ever since my ex best friend fucked the girl I wanted. This wouldn't have been so bad if I had not invested so much time, she led me on for awhile and then hearing them banging next door to me(college dorm) while my other friends were around has pretty much broken me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm no longer ambitious socially and don't talk to anyone except my roommate and the crazy part is that it has been 2 years since this incident and I'd thought I had gotten over it. Ok well I have gotten over it but more like I feel I lost a part of me since that situation happened. Like all of my smiles and optimism has been gone and I'm more pessimistic and apathetic about shit. Even my friends noticed. I've kept a facade up but maybe they still do and just don't tell me. I just want to feel like myself again or maybe I don't know who I really am and just want to find myself. I don't know I really don't want to bother my friends about this so I'm here any help is appreciated.
>>16997681
hes a shitty friend if he knew you were after her.
>2 years ago
dude get over it
>i have gotten over it i just feel like ive lost apart of myself
no you havent it. at all. if two years ago you rant about it. and thats okay i guess, but seriously get over it because
>all of my smiles and optimism are gone
you are ruining two years of your life over a girl you never actually dated?
>ive kept a facade up
what a martyr.
Dude just find another girl
Get some therapy and you should be able to move on. Maybe even try group therapy where you can maybe meet someone.
I know of at least three guys suit like this happened to when they were young. Now they are 50s and 60s, never got over, single their whole life.
Don't be one of those guys.
Tough situation. I'm kind of falling in love with a girl I'm hanging with a lot. Met her a few months ago. I think there's chemistry between us.
I'm in a relationship, going on for 3 years. Last months have been tough. She's in a long distance relationship for 5 years. From what she's saying she can't stand it anymore but he was her only BF so she's afraid of leaving. But she keeps saying she wants to have new experiences. The other day we went for drinks with another friend and then dancing and she said it was the funniest night of her life a few days later. I spent last weekend at her mother's place(who wasn't there) with a friend of mine. It was supposed to be just friday night but she had so much fun she wanted us to stay because she didn't want to be alone.
She's always talking to me on FB and when we're together she touches me a lot and laughs a lot. She's been know to be close to guys though but it seems like I'm someone she'll hit up first on her list.
Of course I love my GF but there are various reasons that makes us going through a rough patch right now. Plus I know even if we broke up, and she would with her BF, it would be unwise but yet I can't help to compare her to my GF and to conclude she would be a better fit.
Pic unrelated, just venting I guess
>Date a girl who has a bf
What makes you think she wont do the same to you?
>>16997636
I'm not considering cheating. Just breaking up and try something with her but we'd have to admit our attraction for each other beforehand.
My friend always told me that if you ever got in love with two different girls to pick the second one. Because I'd you loved the other you wouldn't of done it to the first one.
> suffering from self lothing
> think about killing myself everyday.
> have tried to throw my self out of a window
>has yelled at my self in the mirrior so loud to the point of disrupting my neighbors
>punch myself in the face and all over my body
I don't know if im just being a cunt or if there is something "actualy" wrong with me.
>>16997504
>tried to throw myself out the window
how did you survive?
>something actually wrong iwth me
sounds like therapy might help you discover it.
>>16997520
Tried meaning i ran into the glass but it didn't break im a skinny ass motha fucka
>>16997536
lmfao, why didnt you just open the window afterwards?
therapy tho
>be me, female
>has sex with guy
>can never get turned on
This has happened numerous times and with different guys. Even when they try to foreplay I feel nothing, as in getting horny. It gets frustrating when the guy is finished and I'm just sitting there like a used tissue.
>>16997496
First off, nice bait. But I'll reply anyway. Tell him you want him to watch you get off, and that he can't touch until you say ok. Rub your clit, stick your finger in your ass, do whatever you do when your schlicking yourself to get off. Then let him join in. Maybe he'll learn how to turn you on. Worse case you cum, maybe he gets you to cum a second time.
>>16997496
Try oral w/someone you're actually attracted to. Foreplay a necessity.
It all starts in your head. I would start watching pornography and/or erotic literature to figure out what your sexual triggers are.
Then start thinking about them when masturbating. Maybe let the guy know what they are and do some role play.
I'm not enjoying music much at the moment due to taking a music course at college and am in my third year.
I am having a hard time writing riffs on guitar and when I do I then have the problem of not knowing where to go next.
Any suggestions on how to enjoy music again?
I have been suggested taking a break from guitar and generally listening to music and going for a long walk. Thoughts on this?
I get brain farts when it comes to writing riffs sometimes they usually come to me when I'm showering or just enjoying some free time doing nothing at all. Usually whenever it's most inconvenient to write them down, I think it's oral when you are always pushing so much music in to get something out of yourself.
>that picture triggers hard cause there's kids out there that would believe that if the date wasn't farfetched.
>>16997668
What do you mean you think it's oral?
And thanks for reply, I thought everyone was just here for the beta struggles
>>16997480
What kind of music do you normally listen to?
So guys
I'm in uni. I'm 2 years through a chemical engineering degree, should've been 3 but i fucked up. At this point I'm way too invested with time and money to switch majors, but I'm not happy with it. I chose it because I'm alright at math and chem used to be interesting. My willpower to work is dwindling. When I have the time and I could be working, I'm too upset to do so for various reasons, most of them stemming from the fact that I can't make/keep a solid friend on this campus, so I feel lonely.
Even if I was magically given the choice to do whatever I want, it wouldn't do me much good, because I have no idea. I have no hobbies, interests. I game and browse and write journals to vent out the frustration sometimes. Beside that my life's pretty void.
I have loving parents and one old friend left back home, so I'm thankful for that. But whenever I express this stuff to them, I'll get some tiny insight and a bit of drive to fix my issues, but as soon as I'm back in the routine of university it fades away. Hence, lack of willpower.
Again, I can't drop out or switch majors because it would be a waste of time and money that my family can't afford. I know I should try to find something that interests me but after being like this for so long it seems less and less likely to happen. I know this is just a big rant but I'd appreciate some feedback rather than just letting the words collect dust in a journal. Feel free to post your own life rant, even.
>>16997465
Maybe you need to find an area of chemical engineering that is interesting?
Like, I have no interest whatsoever in what most people consider to be computer science, but there are some very fascinating things about it.
Chemical engineering sounds like it'd be super fun if rather than getting into high tech stuff, you went for low tech brute force stuff. I wonder how efficient it would be to try do mining just by blasting everything with Chlorine Trifluoride?
>>16997484
Yeah, thankfully there's a lot of variety within the field, so maybe there's hope I'll be content with my career. If I had to choose this second I'd do green energy, but it's less of an interest and more out of a feeling of duty to help fix the planet, so I'm afraid I might end up unhappy.
>>16997516
Well, one specific thing in that field which is literally cool is the possibility that if you used photon upconversion to turn black body radiation into photovoltaic-usable light, then you made loads of very thin photovoltaic cells like that and layered them so they'd absorb each other's black body radiation, then you'd have a photovoltaic block which turns heat into electricity.
One of those paranoid posts.
Anybody had this issue before?
I got laid off in December from a Office Tech job of 4 years so it's been a while since I've been in an interview.
That being said, I had an interview on Friday and the employer said she will call me today by 5 pm today on whether I got the job or not. It's 6:19pm though. Anybody been in a situation where an employer didn't actually call on the day they said they will, but got the job either way?
>>16997461
>but got the job anyway?
Damn typo.
never ever
No sorry OP
I'm a 24yo male and to make a long story short I'm stuck in a rut, tired of the way I've been living and ready to change. I would like advice on any jobs that:
a) Could be described as "badass"
b) Are relatively easy to get (minimal education, not impossibly competitive)
c) Involve working outdoors, in remote places, or internationally
d) Pay above minimum wage and/or provide a lot (50+) of hours
I'm already aware of the military as an option, fishing in AK, etc. Gimme whatever else you got.
>>16997415
Oil rig
So you want a badass job that requires no qualifications, is outdoors, and pays really well?
While we're at it why don't we get you a supermodel wife and a sprawling villa off in the countryside?
>>16997420
Hey, don't be a dick. Maybe I wasn't clear but I'm asking about jobs in the $12/hr range, i.e. grunt work.
So i've known this girl through my friend Pablo for about 2 years. Pablo this girl and I all went to the same high school together. This girl is really fucking hot, amazing ass, way way out of my league. She had a boyfriend anyway so I never had any intentions of going after her. Flash back about 2 months ago, Pablo and I are talking to her. She's telling us about how her boyfriend of 2 years just dumped her, she's pretty upset. I feel bad for her, and we start talking more. Her and Pablo have always been kinda close, but this girl and I grew really close. Eventually it accidentally becomes romantic (very quickly, may I add) she tell me that i'm the best thing to ever happen to her. She says I completely healed the wound her ex boyfriend left. Our first month of our relationship is amazing. I've never been happier. The only thing that ever bugs me is how weirdly close her and Pablo are, but I try not to be over protective, so I let it slide. All of the sudden she starts acting real weird, and begins to pull away for me. She almost altogether stops talking to me, and hangs out with Pablo almost exclusively. Now I can't be sure, but Pablo may have a thing for her. She does not like Pablo like that at all, however. Pablo tried to date her about 3 years ago, and she told him he was like a "not gay gay best friend". Anyway, I finally get to talk to her. She ends up telling me she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend and dumps me after 2 months. She says I was awesome and all, but it wasn't really fair to date me having feelings for her ex. I'm upset, but it gets worse. I told Pablo earlier in the week that she was acting strange, and Pablo told her what I said. She angrily talked to me, telling me "I don't want to have to date 2 people!" I don't know why Pablo felt the need to tell her what I confided in him, but, whatever. After she dumped me, I met up with Pablo at our local diner for some lunch.
continued from the previous post.. I ended up telling Pablo what happened, and asked him if she talked about it. Pablo lied to me and said "not really". You can tell when Pablo lies because his lower lip curls up. Angrily I asked "Did you know this was gonna happen?" and he said "Yes". I got mad and asked "Why didnt you tell me?" Pablo told me to fuck myself and left the diner. Anyway, 2 weeks later the Girl calls me in tears telling me she let her emotions get to her head and she said she wants a second chance. I really like this girl, but idk what to do. Do I give her another chance? Is she playing me? And what about pablo? Why didn't he tell me? He was my best friend
Her ex dumped her again and now wants you back. What do you think will happen when he wants to fuck again?
Don't fuck with basic bitches. You're being lulled in by your inexperience with women, and this isn't going to end in any way that's beneficial for you.
By the sound of it, Pablo is probably fucking her.
I think I want to ask out/date a girl I've known for almost 10 years who is kind of a friend, more of an acquaintance, but has been around a lot more in my life lately.
What's the best way to go about this? Asking her on a "date" seems a little hamfisted, but so does trying to make out with her when we're hanging out or something.
Bonus: What does one do on a date with someone they already know well? I'm great at first dates but I've never dated anyone who didn't start out as close to a stranger.
Pic not related.
>>16997403
generally speaking the best approach is to slowly push romance on to her so that she has a chance to develop those feelings if she hasnt already. its not instant, which gives her a chance to see if she might feel that way.
>but howwww
good question. it tends to be specific to your current relationship. you got to start pushing a little further. do you hug? go for one. then go for a kiss on the cheek. when you go to the movies maybe dont buy her ticket, but get her candy. put your arm around her, but dont make a move beyond that. start slowly planting the idea in her head.
then when you think she is starting to catch feelings, thats when you ask her on a legitimate date.
>hey anonnette you free this weekend?
>yeah what'd you have in the mind
>dinner, sunset, at the beach, ill pick you up?
dinner sunset and beach are kinda the trifecta of romance. if she goes along with it at that time, she probably likes you, especially if you mention the restaurant and it sounds expensive (not for whore reasons, but it shows you like her as more than a friend if ur willing to do something like that).
then take her on a ferris wheel afterward and tell her how you feel. ask her to be your girlfriend.
thats waht i did, but i had known her only 3 months and we'd been fwb at that point
>>16997433
I definitely appreciate the reply so I'm going to try to take what I can from it without disputing everything.
That said, the slow push seems pretty impossible, given that we have a rapport and I'm not into her enough to want to spend a super long time trying to seduce her. It's kind of a "you're cute, I'm cute, we get along and like the same things" feeling.
I do think you're on the right pulse with something that has a little more weight to it, but I live in the desert, eat out for every meal, and very frequently eat at very nice places, so I don't know if that'd even register with her.
I also don't want to ask her to be my girlfriend because I still have to see if we're compatible sexually and romantically.
>>16997492
seems like a weird thing to me, to throw away a ten year relationship just to see if maybe you might be romantically or sexually compatible.
to each their own tho.
>friend stops talking to me because he thinks I'm blowing him off/making excuses all the time
>doesn't really tell me his grievances, just cuts contact
>I still try to talk to him a few times, including trying to hang out with him on his birthday
>eventually get the hint and decide to stop
>hear that he plans to talk to me again, by X month
>X month rolls by, nothing
It looks like we'll never talk again. I'm a little bummed, and am considering initiating contact again. Still, can't forget such bitchy behavior. What do you think, /adv/?
Wow, /adv/ is moving faster and faster.
>>16997386
If you want to be friends that bad again, call him and tell him you'll happily squash this cunty behavior if he agrees to do the same. I can only hope you a gems in, because guys, who are friends don't act like this.
he?
you both sound like women.
>Taking 2 CompSci classes and 3 electives
>Computer Organization & Architecture + Java Programming ll are main priority
>Mid terms come and go
>CO&A midterm grade = A- (not bad amirite)
>Java Programming grade = 0
>not C, not D, but flat 0
I'm not going to sit here and complain about my grades, more so I want some confirmation of information I received from some of my peers.
"Just change your major. Companies don't care about the degree you have as long as you graduate from college"
How true is this statement? I've always wanted to get into the world of cyber-security, but that programming class absolutely destroyed me. My Java Programming l grade last semester was a C+, so I'm well aware I'm not the best programmer out there, but this is the first time in life I received a zero in... anything really.
My peers also told me to write a formal complain to the professor for not including partial credit for showing work since the midterm was on a blue book. I mean, should be nearly impossible for people to not make mistakes on a blue book because of the absences of a compiler. Then again, this professor is tenured and while he has a bad reputation among students, he's recognized highly among CompSci and Engineering professors.
(personally, the fuck should retake his teaching license because his teaching methods are out of date)
It's significantly true, but if you failed CS II then you are NOT AT ALL cut out for programming. Not even as a code monkey.
That is babby tier shit. I learned all of that on the job by accident.
that being said, getting an absolute 0 means either:
Your teacher had it out for you, and this will be obvious, so lodge a complaint
Or you didn't do your homework, didn't turn it in, didn't show up for class or tests, or were so amazingly fucking wrong with every answer that there was no partial credit to give.
Either way it doesn't sound like you're cut out for CS. Try a different interest or Business.
> he's recognized highly among CompSci and Engineering professors.
> the fuck should retake his teaching license because his teaching methods are out of date)
Sounds like you're a bitter fuck that's blaming his instructor instead of taking responsibility for your decision to not get help when you needed it, and your own ignorance.
>>16997398
Had to google 'code monkey'
I'm just a bit frustrated because during the TA meetings, I was leading with questions and participation. In fact, the class agreed the TA should teach the class. During the midterm, idiots sat next to me in an attempt to copy my answers.
No one could ask questions in class because you'd get torn a new asshole by the professor and not learn anything since he'll just degrade you.
I'm going to try again. I don't have a special aptitude for anything besides sleep. Actually, my best trait is obedience due to strict parenting. That being said, I feel that anything can be learned within a certain time frame. If it will take me a year longer to become a below-average programmer compared to decent programmers, then so be it.
>0
>idiots sat near you because they thought you were smart in order to cheat off of you
Some professors think cheating is a two way street. He might have thought you were an enabler and gave you a 0 for it.
Unless when he went over the test you got everything wrong.
If you're struggling in 100 level courses, you're going to find upper level courses to be impossible. I've gotten straight A's three semesters in a row and am having trouble in a CS course now. It isn't going to get easier if you can't think in the correct way necessary to pursue CS. If you think that "a year longer" is an okay mindset in your freshman year, you'll be stuck in college a lot longer than five years.
Is it wrong to have feelings for someone who has a gf?
I sometimes have feelings for guys who already had gf. Of course I never did anything to interrupt their relationship but still I could make eyes contact with that guy,or smiling with him,even though I never thought about approach them or try to win their heart. But I still don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Like today I smiled with a customer,make eyes contact and maintain eyes contact with him. He's with his gf and i think she smelled something smell that's why she keeps staring at me the whole time.
Honestly I don't think I would do anything to destroy their relationship but I enjoy doing those things. Sometimes I just want to see what they're gonna do and sometimes I could feel those guys hitting on me too.
Is it wrong to do this? Am i indirectly destroy their relationships?
>is it wrong to have feelings for someone who has a gf
no. acting upon it is. what you are doing is a bit of a grey area. i mean its not nice, but you arent doing anything really harmful. if the girl and guy are secure in their relationship it wont matter, and if they are not it will be a growing lesson.
>>16997367
I'd call it non-verbal flirting. you're not directly hitting on these guys, but you're essentially saying the option is there if you wanna ditch this bitch
that's why these other girls mean mug you, to get your eyes on them and away from their boyfriend
>>16997369
That's the point l think if they had a strong relationship they couldn't get affected by my harmless action. But again i do know it's not nice that's why I never did anything beyond the line.
