Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1043. page
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How do I stop being sensitive? Every little bit of criticism I get makes me feel bad
youre ugly
>>16992178
Do you actually listen to the criticism though? Unless is making fun of your or calling you names, that's one thing but if you're over-sensitive over anything, therapy could help. It all depends on what really crushes you the most when met with the critics. Is it about you? hobbies?
>>16992186
whenever people make of of me
Where on the internet, one can get honest rating on looks and advice on what to improve?
/soc/ cares only about attention whoring themselves, /fa/ is one circlejerk, reddit rateme says you are one beautiful snowflake no matter what.
just make a fucking thread on /soc/ and if not anyone else then I'll rate you and try to give advice
>>16992162
I'll join in if must be
Here. Show us your pics, OP, I want to see them.
So, long story short, I asked a qt out for coffee, rescheduled once, and then flat out cancelled at the last minute. I apologized to her and she did not seem angry. Today, a month later, I want to ask her out again - this time I will not pull that shit. So, what do I text her /adv/? I am incompetent at texting to a hilarious and pathetic degree. Would something like: "Hey, sorry about last time - I should have been more careful with my schedule. However, I'm down for trying again if you are" be fine? I'd gladly appreciate any revisions or different recommendations.
>>16992076
you made this same thread earlier. just ask her out and go.
sincerely, if i were that girl, i would flat out reject you. ive pulled this shit many times before and i know how it feels. Spare her time, OP
>>16992076
Talk to her face to face, as if you were a real live person.
I went to two rock concerts in NYC. There was a young male professional photographer at both. I was wondering how do I find his social networks. I don't know his name or anything.
>>16992059
for what reasons?
the best option you have really is calling the venue and trying to get contact information of crew, assuming by professional you mean he was hired by the band itself to take photos of them . you should be able to call around and at elast get the name of hius business then go from there.
you could also start googling the names of the two concerts, with the dates and locations and whatnot and when photos start popping up try tracing them back to him
it's very likely he'll be credited in the photos or be there the same night next week if not both. this is only requires some stalking 101 level techniques, get it together.
>>16992059
lol whore
I've been feeling really sick lately. Need some advice. Headache, Fever and Stomach upset.
Anyone got any tips on how to ensure a speedy, hasty recovery?
Am vegetarian and am eating a whole of raw whole vegetables, (which I actually think is doing a number on my system), am chilling and resting a lot.
What do?
Raw food is more difficult to digest for your organism. When I'm sick I always focus on house chores to and excessive extent just.
You move, you live. (Actually sweat up kind of help).
>>16992039
eat meat
>>16992039
how long have you been a vegetarian? It takes the body more effort to digest raw veggies. How much protein do you consume? Where are you getting that from? Do you take any supplements? It is allergy season, some people get sick in different ways
tl;dr : how to be more alpha and less beta
Social anxiety is an understatement, I don’t like myself, I don’t like how I interact with people, and I perceive it as weak and submissive. But knowing it is wrong I cannot do anything about it.
My situation
>Strangers smoke and talk loudly in front of my window, I pretend there is no one at home to not deal with them
>People get familiar very fast with me, making jokes going off limit in front of others, if I express my rage no one take it seriously
>If threatened or confronted to an imminent physical confrontation, I froze and cannot respond properly
My progress so far
>I tried to join the military to ‘man up’ it didn’t end well, I went full robot mod and wasn’t able to socialize enough to not become the victim
>I’ve learned martial arts, I try adapt myself to violent situation, while I grew some confidence my reaction to the possibility of a real fight hasn’t changed
>I use several support to express what is buried deep inside of me, drawing, writing, performing arts… Now being interesting is not being respected
How I end up like this
>Parents : silver spooned by both, not really loving mother, often absent dad
>Trauma : witnessed the death of loved ones, separately? in time and space
>Other elements : school drop out, social isolation
Before you ask, I’ve already seen psychologists, it doesn’t work. What now /adv/ ? It’s like my brain is stuck on reptilian mode (flight or freeze).
>>16992018
Go out and start a fight. You'll lose, but that's okay. once you learn that getting your ass kicked (it happens to all of us at least once) isn't the end of the world your whole life will change.
stop trying to be your bro
Set goals and work towards them. Make promises to yourself and keep them.
Hey /adv/
How does one overcome body issues?
When I got married, I weighted way les (I was never a slim guy to begin with). I was doing powerlifting and competing, but I was not giant block of fat, YET. I was one of those big built chubby dudes.
More or less pic related.
I got promoted tho(several times), and iwth the promotions, came the more responsibilities, more stress, a lot more flying (I am an IT security consultant), a lot more skipped workouts, a lot more business lunches where I could not eat my own cooked food.
Now I can see I have grown to be a fatass.
My bank account increased exponentially along with my stomach and with my self-resent.
I still do workout quite a lot, but not nearly as much as before and I frankly do not have the time and the energy /after flying to USA from Europe and back, twice in a week I want to sit and die in front of the TV with some whiskey.../.
Meanwhile my wife was always super fit and remained so. She always had abs and was low body fat, which did not botter me in the beggining (when I was PL competing), but now I am starting to become super insecure watching myself next to her with my huge stomach.
I have also grown to be a lot more jealous because of that, with all those ripped guys everywhere around her and me now being a fatso.
I know losing it is the easiest way, but that would mean quitting my job (for which I busted my ass 8 years before...) and I really LOVE MY JOB.
I completely don't know how to proceed and I can see my wife growing concerned with me.
>>16991857
>I know losing it is the easiest way, but that would mean quitting my job (for which I busted my ass 8 years before...) and I really LOVE MY JOB.
No it doesn't mean that.
Just eat less, and you will lose weight as well.
Cut your calories to 1500 ckal a da for a while. and little workout will be more than enough.
PS: The noom app is a good way to count em.
>>16991926
>Cut your calories to 1500
Don't do this, OP. Work out your BMR, multiply it by 1.3, and then subtract 500. Replace any additional calories lost through exercise at a 1:2 ratio.
OP serious question, will you hire me? I'm a network engineer trying to get into infosec but struggling.
What does /adv/ think of death anxiety and mostimportantly, how to deal with it?
>>16991822
>death anxiety
I have this problem as well.
I'm always afraid I will die the next day, and I'm not strong enough to defend myself from an attack or slip away from an accident.
I've been like this for over 15 years, and its not stopping.
>>16991845
Every stupid, embarrassing and idiotic thing I do feels like I'm being a horrible parasitic piece of shit who isn't allowed to be near people at all.
I feel like this every day but I don't want to, I can't help it. I need to suffer more and more every day just for being born.
>>16991822
I've had death anxiety throughout most of my life. Began when I was around 6 or 7. Many times it got to a point where I couldn't function. Fucked up my grades, fucked up relations I've had, etc. I tried getting help several times but nothing worked.
Someone recommended meditation (vipassana/mindfullness) a couple of years ago. I cringed at the proposal because it sounded like some New Age bullshit. Tried it because why not. Haven't had any death anxiety since.
Don't know if it will work for you, but it was the only thing that worked for me. Good luck.
I got arrested and am likely to be convicted of at least one misdemeanor. I don't care so much about the conviction because from what I understand most background checks that employers will run will reveal the fact that I was given three charges from the once incident
none are violent, all related to marijuana. I feel like because I am black I won't be able to explain these things away and no one will hire me even after interview
I am updating my resume and it looks great. I interview well and have a lot of work/volunteer experience. I am generally good looking guy. I feel like I tossed away my life's potential over some dumb shit
does anyone have any criminal success stories?
pic related: me
>>16991802
>I feel like because I am black I won't be able to explain these things away and no one will hire me even after interview
Depends on the business.
If you aren't a thug in your overall behavior, language, clothing style etc. only conservative companies will take issue.
If you go towards young, trendy businesses and play the cards right IF it is brought up in an interview ("Im a bit of a hippie. But I get my work done anyhow, and here are references that show it very well, may I show you ...") they won't care, and it even might give you "liberal" friends in smaller businesses.
Don't be afraid.
But manage your image VERY carefully to fall either in the apple-hipster who wanted to be edgy OR in the hippie Category after you are out, not the thug style.
Then you will be fine.
Depends on your business/ area of work of course. In the worst case you will have to change to a different one.
Meh.
Could be worse.
>>16991873
Thanks for the reply, much appreciated
I'm no thug, though I have empathy for people who live that life. I like a Young Thug or Future record just like anyone else.
but nah I grew up in a white middle class environment, I know how to "talk white" and all that stuff. I dress normal, skinny/fitted jeans or chinos, white converse, a button up, etc.
You're kind of getting at what like ex-girlfriend told me. To make this part of my image. I've always been a left wing kind of guy and stuff so I guess this cements the fact that I should seek work/employment opportunities with like minded people.
Again, thank you for your response.
>>16991895
No problem.
Yep, basically make it part of your image.
And don't worry too much. The past is the past, make the best out of it, and don't be anxious about it.
It will all turn out well.
Hey /adv/,
What are some of your hobbies and how did you find them?
I ask because I lack any meaningful hobbies. I exercise regularly through swimming and weights but that's just to stay healthy. In my spare time, the only thing I do that I legitimately enjoy is play videogames and watch netflix or youtube. Even then, they are just temporary distractions for me and end up making me feel like I've wasted my time. I've tried a few things over the years like longboarding and surfing but they didn't hold my attention very long or make me feel like trying again.
>>16991796
Hobbies will come to you naturally
I love learning new languages
Hobbies are mainly a waste of time and money, man. I'm not saying that's bad, time you enjoyed wasting is time well spent, my point is that a hobby doesn't have to be constructive. I think you need some goals, rather than some hobbies, but who am I to say that, right?
The only hobby I have other than the usual ones (Tv shows, reading, videogames, gym) is skiing and I've been doing this until as long as I can remember, my parents loved it and they made me learn how to sky when I was like 4.
I ended up joining a little group of people who play with scale RC cars. Might sound a little childish at first but most of these are in their 20's or 40's. You build, paint and model these little things and meet up with others to drive them. Realism is key so you end up spending a lot of time fiddling with your car to make it look and handle like the real deal. You learn a great deal about mechanics, fabrication and modeling and you make new friends. There's probably a group nearby if you look for it.
Hey I have something that's a little embarrassing to talk about..
I'm 19 and still a virgin.. And I want to lose my virginity really badly.. How do I go about this when I live in a pretty small town? I thought about hiring a hooker but they could have a disease and I legitimately have no idea how to hire one...
Any help??
Pic related: is my ideal look for a girl.
>>16991787
Lower your standards. Accept that you might not be model prize either. Learn how to talk to girls. Do that by learning how to talk to people. Can you do that? Good now add flirting.
I live in such a small town that I'm known around here and I can't just ask someone for sex.. Ya know??
There nothing wrong with being a virgin if you haven't met the right girl yet.
A fresh topic.
Love.
There is this pretty attractive girl I work with, Japanese actually.
I'm pretty good fiends with her. We talk about alot of stuff. A while back I told her I had a crush on her. She didn't seem to like me, but didn't mind I had a crush. It's been a few months and I've told her a few times about my feelings. This last time though, I asked if I ever had a chance with her, she said probably but she didn't want to date anyone right now. I'm still unsure if she looks at me that way, but I feel like I like her ever more now. I'm just waiting at this point. What would be a nice way to get her to like me?
>>16991756
You can't really get someone to like you. It's kind of a meaningless phrase. They either will or they won't. That's it. Just don't be a dick, and turn up the flirt, but respect her boundaries. Being funny helps too.
>>16991756
>get her to like me
That isn't how it works, real life isn't a romantic comedy.
Try to get over her, she's not into you. "Probably" was her being nice.
>>16991769
Sigh, I know. I know exactly. Well, worth a try I gues.
Feels like magic
Anger is attention
>>16991878
this, hate is not the opposite of love
>>16991731
It beats being ignored.
Im in collage atm, and i plan on leaving the country in a few years,
im 100% certain in it, i hate this place, and consider staying here idiotic. (not muslim tho)
I've avoided relationships, pretty much shut myself in and ignored my friends, because im afraid
that whatever relationship i make now, just wont last. One day ill leave.
A part of me doesn't want it to last and sees this as just a passing phase.
But many of my friends either have or are getting into relationships, going out, having a life,
im terrified that by the time i actually leave and decide to settle down it will be too late.
I feel like that im not just sacrificing my collage years, but my social future too.
So:
Is dating life good at/after 25
What's your experience with moving to different countries?
Thought's about transferring collages?
What place would you recommend to move to for a ambitious student of engineering? (except germany,usa, or anywhere with slavs)
I moved to Japan and married a Japanese girl
>>16991693
Look bro fuck the settleing down bullshit.
You clearly have not seen the bs women bring.
I say you slay pussy to no end then settle down.
50 bitches minimum then settle.
After 30 bitches youll see most of them are problems, you'll learn to stand your ground, then will you be ready to settle.
So my fine friend go slay pussy left and right unlike all these faggots.
If you're not in a serious relationship by the end of 25 you're probably screwed to be honest.
Most people will tell you otherwise but if you have your shit together, the prime time for finding a quality long term relationship is right out of college or near the end of it. It's much easier to make plans, move in together, find a place to live together, etc. After 25, you'll be in a busy life phase where you'll be trying to balance your new lifestyle while being poor and at the bottom of everything. Sure later on you'll have more money and a higher quality of living, but the quality of women goes way the fuck down past 25.
Not to put a damper on you OP but you missed one of the easiest times to date and meet a bunch of quality females, so things are stacked against you
Hey /adv/, tomorrow is going to be the first day of my second-last year in high school.
So far, I have been a beta virgin but there is still hope because I joined this school just a few months back and many people don't know me.
Plus, girls I want to talk to approach me and talk to me but nothing ever works out.
What do I do?
Any advice would be highly valuable.
>>16991654
Learn to talk to people. Talk to girls like they're just regular people that you aren't trying to fuck.
If you're still in high school, be aloof but not creepy.
Develop SOME sense of style or fashion. Learn what hairstyles look good on you.
Make occasional banter, jokes, teases, and such.
Be nice, but still be devoted to yourself and independent. Act mature.
>>16991667
I talk to people, despite having weird interests I have a lot of friends. I don't know why I can't talk to most girls. My humour is non existent when girls are around. I have done a lot of effort into these things, I believe I am highly mature.
Saying these things is very easy but how do I actually talk to girls? Plese Suggest some lines, excuses or any way to begin a conversation and to keep going
>>16991702
Okay okay okay. Picture any conversation you might have with a guy that isn't anything more than an acquaintance. Now just change that guy to a girl.
You have to stop looking at girls like they are another race and simply start talking to them as they are just people. Your mindset is a mindset that most high schoolers have, honestly. It's why I never got laid in high school.
Just stop hyping them up as something you need to be so careful around or something you need to conquer or whatever it is.
Do you know how to make small talk? Just do that and evolve from there.
Maybe just start by casually asking how they are doing or how their day is going.
Is it a girl you already know?
>yes
Ask about something they're interested in and how that is going.
>Susie likes art and is always seen drawing.
Ask what she likes to draw the most and just be interested in what she has to say.
>Emily plays volleyball
Ask how the fuck volleyball is going.
Is it a girl you don't know that well?
>nope barely know her name
Ask how it's going and all that jazz I said before.
Then just casually point out something you like about her.
"Hey that's a cool looking bag."
"Not gonna lie, that hat looks pretty cute on you."
With a girl you don't know so well, maybe just end the convo there and start a new conversation another time.
