Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1044. page
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Yesterday I was in a small college party, there, I made out with an African beautiful black girl. I am not here looking for judgement about that.
Anyway, she was really nice to talk to, however, it was really hard to make her kiss me. We would dance, rub our pelvises and i'd suck the shit out of her neck. However, when it came to kissing, she didn't allow that much, we kissed only for some seconds and that makes me a little mad.
At one point, she just wanted to go home, i offered to take her there, she refused it, I insisted and she still refused. I just said "so, next time we meet in college, let's have a talk, okay?" and she agreed.
I just want to know wether I should keep on talking to her, if I still have a chance and what I should do.
What do you think about, /b/? I would give anything to have the chance to have sex with such a woman.
Pic related, she looked a lot like that, with a shorter hair.
One, if you don't want attention brought to the fact she was black, you wouldn't have mentioned it. Not that there's shame in being black, but you have established with your words that it matters to you. Therefore, prepare to be ridiculed.
Two, no - she probably is uninterested. It was a party. She was probably just looking for some fun at the party.
Three, this is /adv/, not /b/.
Four, I can't stand when otherwise attractive black girls style their hair like that. Just an opinion though.
>>16991551
Really? This hairstyle is literally the best thing about black girls. It's breathtaking.
Maybe you shouldn't talk to her if it's just about sex. She obviously isn't that kind of person when she didn't even let you kiss her.
I'm bored. I'm feeling down. I feel like I wanna go out and take a walk, but I really don't know what to do. I'd like to meet people, to meet girls, but there isn't really any event right now or anything. I'm 21 years old, and doing pretty badly in University. Don't really have any friends from there, my friends are from highschool and people I met in anime conventions and that kind of thing.
My group of friends is alright, but really closed. I don't feel like going out with any of them today. I want someone new, and I don't think I can ask anyone to go out now or something. I already dried out my pool of possible girls to ask out, in an awkward manner.
I don't even know what I'm writing, kinda rambling and I'm feeling anxious. I just feel like such a failure, no wonder I haven't had a girlfriend in years.
What the fuck should I do, instead of just spend all day in my room in PJs waiting to watch some videogame tournament final and masturbating in a deprecating way until then?
>>16991534
Do something productive. Doesn't even have to be schoolwork. Go meet people like you say you want to. Start doing something creative that you enjoy, like making music, art, cooking, anything. Work out. Improving your health is never a bad idea.
Start learning a language or just some subject you were always curious about.
If you must meet new people then go out and do it. Go and see a random concert at a local venue. Go to a bar that looks populated and buy someone a drink. Chat with people and see what they're up to. What they're dealing with.
If you are talking to a potential date, don't think of them as a potential date. Just think of them as another person with their own aspirations and motives. Be interested in them and what they have to say, but still be devoted to yourself. Maybe flirt a little or make some jokes. Literally just have fun and don't stress over small details and things will come naturally.
>>16991559
>If you must meet new people then go out and do it. Go and see a random concert at a local venue. Go to a bar that looks populated and buy someone a drink. Chat with people and see what they're up to. What they're dealing with.
I keep reading stuff like this but to me life doesn't seem to work that way. Like, I read this and I believe it's bullshit, don't take it as an offense. I'm pretty awkward, I can't just get into someone's conversation or table, I feel it's absurd.
I'm thinking of just taking a long walk. I want to start the "couch to 5k" running thingy, but I'm unfit as fuck and I think it'd be better to spend a few days walking a lot first, as the last time I tried the program I felt like I was going to die or something.
I'll pass around a zone of my city which is always populated with geeky people, I usually don't want to meddle with them because they tend to fall too far into the weeaboo spectrum and so on, but I might even talk to some of them, I don't know.
>>16991590
>I keep reading stuff like this but to me life doesn't seem to work that way. Like, I read this and I believe it's bullshit, don't take it as an offense. I'm pretty awkward, I can't just get into someone's conversation or table, I feel it's absurd.
That sounds like it's more of a problem with you. When it comes to small talk, yeah people generally aren't that interested. But when you are actually getting to know someone, this is what it takes.
>I'm thinking of just taking a long walk. I want to start the "couch to 5k" running thingy, but I'm unfit as fuck and I think it'd be better to spend a few days walking a lot first, as the last time I tried the program I felt like I was going to die or something.
Not a bad idea at all.
>I'll pass around a zone of my city which is always populated with geeky people, I usually don't want to meddle with them because they tend to fall too far into the weeaboo spectrum and so on, but I might even talk to some of them, I don't know.
Not a bad idea either. I always have to contain my cringe when I'm "among fellow gamers" or weebs or something, but once you get passed that it can be nice.
Hey anons, Australian here finishing up a time-killing uni course, and not sure which way to go with my studies next. I've got three options I like the best so far.
>3D model design (Sketchup and Hammer).
I'm iffy about it because I'm not sure I'll be able to find jobs for it in Australia and support myself with as a "real job". It is something I enjoy doing though.
>Teaching
Sounds kind of cool, and i can work with kids well, but it sort of seems like there's a surplus of teachers here. Also I am worried about how easily kiddie fiddler accusations are thrown at male teachers by vindictive parents or students, and about dealing with little shit outliers.
>Lawyer
I dislike the sound of lots of paperwork, I'm bad with deadlines, and I hear that robots are taking over a lot of the non-courtroom jobs now. But my reading and typing skills are excellent, I've already done a Law unit in my current uni course, and money would not be a problem.
Which one will make me want to kill myself the least, have the most job security, and be easiest to get a job in? Is there anyone here with experience in said fields?
Teaching is a rather daunting prospect my man. You're spot on with accusations or concerns of pedophilia directed at male teachers and males in schools. Depending on the level you would teach, the children are either assholes on purposes or assholes because that's what kids are. It's pays fairly well if you manage money properly. Female teachers vastly outnumber male teachers which does somewhat work in your favor as in my experience good male teachers are rather sought after, which could improve your job prospects.
If you're interested in teaching I would suggest trying to find some work in a school as a teacher aide or volunteer to get the feel for how things would operate, being spending money on any degree.
Could do both law and teaching. Become a law teacher to unis or year 11 and 12 students.
But hey, congrats anon. At least you have some idea what you want to do for your career.
>>16991476
first off, you should always go with something you actually enjoy
do you really want to spend the majority of your life doing something you don't like? sounds like a soul crushing existence
I work in post production and good 3D modelers are always in demand. the fact that you're in Australia doesn't matter because you can freelance remotely from anywhere really. sometimes we hire people who live in Brazil or India
my advice is switch to a more practical 3D software like Maya or C4D and start building a portfolio
My situation
>I've had a rough life. was the "weird kid" and was bullied at all my schools
>cus I used to be an asshole, I pissed off a lot of people and got in trouble a lot
>people would try to take advantage of this and accuse me of shit I didn't do
>interested in graphic design and art
>want to become semi-famous online so I can make a living from my design work
>don't want people from my past to be able to find me under my old name
I'm considering changing my name because I want to reinvent myself
>no criminal record whatsoever (not even a speeding ticket)
>no mental health problems or anything that might make a judge think twice about letting me change it
The thing I'm wondering about though, is will I have to keep some record of my old name?
If I did change my name, would I be able to shed my past completely?
If there's some other alternative to changing my name, that would help me distance myself from my past that would be helpful.
Just use an alias
>>16991395
>The thing I'm wondering about though, is will I have to keep some record of my old name?
Yes. Even if you legally change your name, there will be times when you have to list names you've previously used. You don't have to go around offering this information to people who don't ask for it, but you can't lie.
>If I did change my name, would I be able to shed my past completely?
Define "completely".
>>16991406
Common thing for artists to do OP. I agree with this.
>21
>"studying" at university
>do the easy tasks but when big assesments come, leave it """tomorrow"""
>many weeks later, day of deadline: "Fuck it. I'll just catch up with next assesment."
>repeat
>shat on my 1st year and failed all 8 of my units (2 semesters)
>now on repeat year and surprise surprise, doing it again
I've got no motivation. My knee-jerk reaction is to make excuses/lie/run away from anything even remotely out of my comfort zone.
What's worse is that that includes talking to people in general. Can't hold a casual convo for more than a couple seconds, let alone initiate one. I haven't even got the spine to consult a therapist. I have a friend from hs and I can't even be honest with 'em about all this.
As you can tell, i'm """depressed""" by all this (cant confirm coz again im a dumbass for not asking for professional help)
On the bright side, I go to the gym with this hs friend which sorta helps (but not really since lack of motivation)
And I'm still here typing this, coz I still care about my familia :/
Sounds a lot like me. Half the reason I don't talk to people is that I'm too lazy.
>>16991393
My issue is every time a "moment' comes up, I don't really know what to say and then I overthink things. Then have doubts. Then I be a wuss and not do it. Goddamit.
>>16991332
Did that for three years.
Deep rooted problems led me to be avoidant.
After a point you just get so ashamed of what you've become that you force yourself to change
Should I shave?
For the love of god yes.
>>16991328
Yes, why do you need to ask
>>16991328
If you're trying to grow a beard, no. Otherwise, yes.
Hey /adv/
I grew up without a male role model.
How do I become a man?
What are the things that my father was supposed to teach me?
>>16991293
be strong, be assertive, be independent, follow your path. never put your happiness in somebody else's hands, don't lose your mind, be respected with the least amount of violence and respect others who deserve it. when you find yourself lost, just stop to think about what you really need and what you really want.
Try to find role models in your surroundings now. It takes time and you really have to search well, but it´s doable.
Maybe ask family stories about the guys (if they were any good)
>>16991293
How old are you anon? This advice will vary in mileage based on your age. I didn't have a stable male role model either (they all died), but this is what I could pick up from them along the way.
Don't put your tongue in a hooker's vagina (it's bad manners), and don't touch strippers- just let them do the touching of you and keep your hands off. Not only is doing either thing unsanitary, but it will get you kicked out of the brothel/strip club. Also, be careful, those sneaky succubi really know how to get as much money as possible out of you.
If you're buying a used car, make sure to look along the side. If you can notice slight dents in the metalwork, that may mean it's had panelbeating work done to cover up the fact it was in a crash. Be careful with buying used cars, a cheap shitheap can end up costing you more in repairs than just getting a new one.
Try and make yourself a well-rounded, self-sufficient man. Know a little bit about cooking, a little bit about survival, a little bit about house hardware jobs.
Keep well dressed if possible. Make sure you have a good-looking suit, and go to the tailor if necessary and if you can afford it to get one fitted for you.
When you're refueling a lawnmower or motorbike, the petrol canister of fuel might have a long funnel inside the lid. You can remove it from the lid, swap it around, and screw it onto the petrol can in order to reduce spillage.
If you're ever in a survival situation and need clean water, you can make a transpiration bag by wrapping a plastic bag around a branch. The heat of the sun will make the moisture rise up out of the leaves, and it will go to the top of the bag then drip down to the bottom. You can drink this. Or, if you have some way of boiling water, you can get river water.
Pick at least one sport and make sure you know the rules of it, and follow a team on the side. This will help you blend in with Manly Men
You become a Modern Man officially when you are self-reliant.
m 18 and have been in a relationship for nearly a year. Sexually active, and my girlfriend just told me if she accidentally got pregnant she wouldn't abort it. I've got career plans and really wouldn't want to become a teen dad. What do I do? I've thought about cutting out sex but I feel like that would damage our relationship. I've also thought about bringing it to an end, but I'm not sure.
>pic unrelated
She's young and foolish. That being said you likely won't change her mind.
My ex said she'd keep it but would give it away..
I really wish there was a birth control for men. (Besides condoms)
>>16991291
We've never had "unprotected sex" but obviously condoms still have a fail rate. It's a chance I'd rather wasn't there.
>>16991296
If look up the stats for pregnancy even trying to get pregnant takes time.
That being said I feel your concerns, it would completely fuck up your life. Likewise another girl could say she would get rid of it (if/when) and then end up keeping it.
![is-infidelity-a-big-deal-breaker-for-you[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wh6xndc.jpg "is-infidelity-a-big-deal-breaker-for-you[1]")
I met a girl at a bar on Friday and we both are attracted to each other. When the girl made advances I told her I had a girlfriend who was studying out of state (she's still in college), and she said she had a man too but "we could be friends". Now she wants to hang out later today. Is it safe to assume we're going to have sex? How can I trust this chick to be quiet?
Yes I know I'm scum.
>>16991253
>How can I trust this chick to be quiet?
You can't.
General rule of thumb: Don't trust people you don't know.
Bump. When I call her today should I say we should go to her place? Would that imply I want to have sex?
Maybe just dont be a cheating cunt? Sounds like you two are made for eachother tho. Disgusting human beings.
I have a very unorthodox lisp. I have trouble pronouncing 'j' sounds like 'jay', 'jeans', etc. Can't find any worthwhile information on curing lisps so I was just wondering if anyone has any tips and whether or not I should go see a speech therapist. It was only pointed out to me at 14 and by that point I felt like I was too old to go to a speech therapist. I'm 20 now and I'm just starting a job for the first time and I'm starting to become a lot more self-aware of it.
More detailed description -it's like the 'jay' sound gets caught in my right-back teeth. 'Jack' sounds more like 'Kchyack' and it sounds fucking awful when I record myself. My family claims to not notice any lisp at all, but my friends do.
I should add that I have a VERY slight underbite. Had the option of doing something about it but I actually thought it looked kinda handsome, but if it's causing my lisp it has to go.
>>16991252
The underbite might actually be it. I tried it out and I've got a bit of a harder time with J's when I put my jaw forward.
Otherwise you could try speaking while biting onto a pencil. It's a trick my French teacher made us so to help get rid of our accents. Irs supposed to make the mouth and tongue shapes easier since you end up over-pronouncing everything with the pencil in your mouth.
>>16991276
damn. I'll have to start wearing a retainer again I guess. Thanks for the reply.
I work at Walmart and I need a printer and telzon to help do work with. They are also extremely important as they assist me in pricing fabric when I cut it for customers (I work in the crafts/celebrations/stationary department). Because of the nature of customers wanting fabric, I need a printer and telzon at all times. Only at my store there isn't enough to go around and people take to hiding or stealing them. I've had my shit stolen by associates several times.
Ok now you know how important that equipment is, and his few and far between they are.
Well yesterday while I was doing work, my printer was on the fabric desk as I stood and used the desk to work from (I was doing freight; I.e: unloading shit from boxes). Some coworker and her friend that I know come up and say
>Can I use this printer?
>me: it's for fabric customers
>Well are you using it now?
>me:no
>I'll bring it back
Know for a fact she never brought it back. What's disturbing is she came up WHILE MY BACK WAS TURNED, SHE CAME UP FROM BEHIND ME just to ninja the equipment from me.
/adv/ how do I not escalate the problem? How do I not call her a butch? She's actually done something like this to me before. I'm never "lending" her anything again.
Lastly what really pisses me off is it's the customer who's the loser in the situation where none of us have the proper equipment to get work done. I'm supposed to leave my printer and telzon on the desk for fabric customers (when I'm on break and I'm the only one there). But now I'll have to start taking them everywhere with me again
Does the printer actually belong to you or your department?
Is it the reality of working there that other people need to use the printer too?
If you answered no and yes respectively, then you're just being a whiny little shit and she was within her right to take it to use.
>>16991190
The units themselves don't belong to any one person, but I need them at all times (just like the photo center). If other people need a printer or whatever they need to ninja it from someone that isn't me.
Plus she never brought it back.
>>16991192
So you're being a whiny little shit and she was within her right to take it to use.
It's not yours and she needed to use it too, get over it.
Ok /adv/ i will try to keep this as short as possible but it's still going to be a long one
> went to psych for other reasons this story is going to be about
> psych mentions x could be of a trauma
> think nothing of it go home
> start thinking
> there has been this thought in my head i always pushed away when it came up (it started around my 18th, 22 now
> used to think nah this can't be real just a bad dream/imagination that gone to far
> start thinking harder and connecting clues
> it can't be fake shit i always fucking knew
> Memory is the babysitter and my sister in a bathroom he touches her private parts i get told to go outside or else...(note this was NOT concensual she was 5 him 18 probably. She was crying etc )
> ask my mother 'remember when x was babysitting us one time'
> after some other questions she says it's true
> she did not know that i also knew this
> she tells me sis started getting these thoughts as well around her 18th
> only my mother aunt and dad know this
My sister is the main victim here i just got caught by some shrapnel metaphorically. Still i would be fooling myself that this is not fucked up for me as well
Now my questions how do i tell my dad that i also got 'hit' by this.
Do i ever tell my close friends?
Future gf's?
I don't know if this affected me seeing my psych in 2 weeks. Right now it still feels like this is not reality our perfect family life can't be tainted by this. But it is true...
>>16991159
Just responding to bump this post, want to give advice, but don't want to turn you to the wrong direction for this issue.
>>16991178
Thanks i like that you take it serious enough
don't tell your family man
they'll probably just accuse you of trying to rob your sister of attention
everyone has compassion for sweet little girls, you're a man now. You're disposable.
How is your dad going to help you anyway? Tell your therapist, if anyone.
Eye contact is used to initiate conversation and during the conversation itself - I get it.
But are there any other uses of eye contact? I never use it other than in those two situations.
>>16991088
"Looking someone in the eye" is just a phrase, not much of reality. It really means talking face-to-face rather than looking away. In fact, we spend most of our conversations looking people in the mouth, because we all lip-read more than we realize.
You don't have to maintain eye-to-eye contact more than occasionally and briefly. In fact many people find it eerie to have someone stare into their eyes.
>>16991298
Alright, thanks for your help.
But is eye contact ever used outside of conversation? If so, what for?
Eye contact is a complex matter. It is interpreted differently depending on culture and social context. It can mean asserting dominance or being disrespect and it can also mean showing honesty and friendliness. It can be playful or it can be creepy. It can mean mental instability or a desire to romance someone. Humans are weird.
So, long story short:
My father has always been pretty overweight, but this being eastern europe, it is common for people of all ages to be flabby af and not be frowned upon. But recently he's gotten out of hand and started constantly pigging out on every piece of food he lays eyes on. It's as if his stomach turned into an unsatiable abyss.
I tried fatshaming him to the point that we've gotten into incredibly nasty arguments, even told him that if he keeps it up he won't even be here to raise his grandchildren because he'll surely eat his way to an early grave. He just doesn't give a shit and keeps on shoveling food down his piehole.
Wat do, /adv/?
>pic related, thinking of sticking this up onto every door which leads to food.
>>16991083
oy, bump.
I don't want my dad to die
He probably has some problems with the hormones that are responsible for satiety. Try to bring it up as the matter of health,maybe he will take it more seriously then.
Don't be overtly nasty about it, that only gives him an excuse to shield himself from the truth in what you say. I'd sit him down, if possible with family members present who support you, and say you're sorry for being rude about it but in essence you are sincerely very worried about his health and life span. Stress that obesity is a huge factor in some of the most common death causes. If he brushes this off like it does not affect him, try to get him to at least go to the doctor then so he can confirm that your dad is healthy and has nothing to worry about. The doctor will tear him a new one if he's any good.
So I been working in the union , I got a job with a small company and was told to cut rebar with a saw. They didn't have masks , and after awhile my throat got a bit sore from breathing in the particles I guess and I asked do you need masks for this and the foreman said no , you'll be alright. Sure enough I got sick and it's been 2 weeks and I can't properly talk as I have a sore throat , I'm just wondering will it eventually go away or wtf ?
Just buy a mask........??????
I cut rebar just for 2 days after the first day I used a shirt to cover my face up and later bought masks , but I still have a sore throat , I'm just curious if it'll go away or wtf ?
See a doctor, get a mask, then sue for improper health safety.
You should under no circumstance be grinding or cutting metal without proper respiratory protection.
