Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1038. page
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Now I know that I can't fight my anxiety but please can someone advise me anything to calm the fuck down. Some relax stuff that helped you too maybe? All I want is to be happy in love and now the hurt from my youth destroys being in love for me.
I wish I could hug you right now but I know you'd just pull away and turn away from me.
To defeat anxiety:
Drink water, eat healthy, excercise, get at least an hour of sun
Socialise, pickup a hobby, join a cause, join a club
Confront any pressing issues
If all else fails, see a psychologist.
>>16995514
>all i want is to be happy
That's a lot to ask for. Stop being so demanding and you won't be so disappointed with life. If you use some Reason to evaluate what you can realistically expect, you wont be so disillusioned.
Must hurt your pride constantly to want so many things and receive none of them. Doesn't God know who the fuck you are? I'd probably feel like shit too if I thought life just came with desires being fulfilled.
I've been learning Spanish for half a year now. I've always wanted to learn a new language but I didn't have the opportunity to do so during secondary school. Back then, I would have probably picked French, German, or Japanese.
During high school, I met an online friend who happens to be Spanish and we ended up talking every day. At uni, I had the opportunity to pick whatever I want as a new language for fun and the beginner courses here have a reputation for being easy to get good grades. I picked Spanish as I simply have someone to practice with and...
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It's not as ridiculous as it seems. I used to have two friends in HS that learned sign language so they could exclusively chat away at each other during class.
If you're interested in exploring other foreign languages then you should do that but don't let perceived pressure from others influence you.
>>16995511
>don't let perceived pressure from others influence you
Pressure as in from who?
>>16995531
>>and will lead to assumptions from other people and I do not want that.
Who gives a fuck? You do you.
I've had abysmal luck with girls my entire life (22/Virgin) and recently the first girl who approached me intimately decided to cut things off with no explanation, other than casually mentioning she wanted to start dating girls now.
Now here is where it begins. There's currently this one guy in the city who seems really nice who wants to take me on a date. (For whatever reason, I've always seemed to be approached by gay/bi guys) I'm at a loss what to do. I know it sounds stupid that I would even consider it but at this point I want nothing more than...
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bumper
I wouldn't go. No matter what you say meeting up one on one gives him hope.
>>16995485
If you actually feel comfortable and open to the idea of dating a guy out of actual desire for him (or at least the actual idea of that in general and it's something you want), then do it. If you only want to because you're depressed that you have had bad luck with girls and you're still hurt from your recent experience, then I don't think you should. It isn't worth compromising your integrity like that just because you want to feel desired and cared about by somebody.
If you feel you really have to go on a date with that guy then you should outright state to him exactly how you feel about it and what has been happening with girls in your life. If he's actually a decent person then he should respect that and hell he might actually help you better than anyone on this board can. There's no substitute for having support IRL.
But, if you decide to do it, be careful. Ask yourself how well you actually know him and, jesus christ, make sure he isn't going to do something bad to you or something.
In my opinion, I wouldn't go out on a date with him. Not for the reasons you've listed. I strongly recommend you do not.
Anyway, I have an apocalypse-tier flu right now and lurking this board is serving to pass the time. I won't be making any further responses because I have important real-life things to do - The main one is not dying and the second is figuring out the mess I'm going to have to fix when I return to work.
Again, I wouldn't do this, man.
Feels like magic
Don't know, OP, I love it too in a hedonistic way, ruined my reputation at college pretty much.
let the hate flow through you
>>16995471
You ran this identical query, with the identical picture, two days ago, and got plenty of good responses.
NO ONE BOTHER TO REPLY.
I want to get a real job. Problem is every entry level job expects me to have experience. First of all, how do they expect me to have experience if I need experience to get experience? I've gone to college 3 years, then spent the last year or so working with my dad getting paid under the table. I'm at the age people expect you to have worked at least 3 or 4 jobs already. Am I fucked for life? Should I just lie on my resume? I've applied for many jobs but none have called back. My dad selfishly makes me come with him because he's getting old, needs the help and just wants someone to talk to. I'm also afraid he will hurt himself one day. He's been getting worse and always dropping things. How am I supposed to live my life when I have to spend it looking after pops?
get an entry level job. do what you fucking can you fag.
care for you family.
I live the same life as you, i still care for my family and work for shit pay, but took what I could get. Look locally and do walk in applications, you can get an interview on the spot.
>>16995467
What do you do for your dad?
>>16995653
Don't listen to this guy on the walk ins, very few companies hire walk ins anymore because they have very little time to vet the applicant, and they all have online hiring, generally looking for specific skill sets. Walking in and handing out paper resumes mostly only works for fast food and mall jobs where just anyone can do it.
Anyways, the real answer is to get an internship. I know it sucks and most...
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>>16995467
I work in HR, so take my word for this.
Job ads and descriptions are wish lists - the imaginary ideal person for the job. Such a person almost never exists, and employers take the best what does apply.
So, if the ad says "2 years experience" it really means "It would be great if you had any experience at all, but if everything else about you is good, we'll drop that."
And why don't you list your work for your father as experience? Give it a name and treat it as a real job - no one need know it was under the table.
What does this mean?
First off, I'm in uni, and I don't have many friends because of my poor social skills and lack of initiative to improve my own life.
Lately I've noticed something that hasn't occurred before. Usually when walking places (to class, to go eat somewhere) when people look at me, I look away/avoid eye contact and ignore them. But now when I notice people looking at me I just get mad. Very mad. If someone continues to look at me after a few seconds, I'm really pissed and I do whatever I need to to get away from them.
Is...
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I get sort of this way when I'm feeling particularly depressed.
When people look at me when I'm going through a period of depression/agoraphobia it makes me fucking miserable. I feel like they can sense how dysfunctional and sad I am and they're just gawking out of pity.
It's paranoia. Try to get to the root of what you're feeling. What about people looking at you makes you angry? Do you think they're judging you?
>>16995427
I think they're judging me and thinking that I'm ugly or weird or awkward or making some other generalization and I get mad because I think "fuck you, you're just like everybody else" which leads to me not wanting to be around other people and then not having friends, and then being lonely and wanting friends, and the cycle starts again.
At least this is how I can piece it together as of now.
>>16995443
The most liberating thing you can do is realize that people aren't focusing on you.
Think about it. Are you staring at people you walk by and making judgments about them? Or are you just looking at nothing in particular and they're just standing there? People are probably doing the same and just looking at you quickly and not thinking anything about you at all.
This is something a good counselor can help you out with very easily. You should look into your university's resources.
I think I might legitimately have arachnophobia and my work demands I haul some objects with lots of spiders around. What should I do? I'm honestly considering asking my GP to prescribe xanax or something so I can just power through it, but I doubt he'll be willing to do this for me. DO NOT post spider pics thinking it might help me out. It won't. I've tried shit like that before and it just makes me much more paranoid.
One time there was a massive spider in my shower and I couldn't leave it there because I knew I wouldn't be willing...
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>>16995399 Tell your employer about your phobia. You never know, they may understand and Allow you to take your time.
>>16995399
What job do you do that has you surrounded by spiders? Are you a banana farmer in the condos or something?
>>16995616
it's all explained in OP
How to stop being poor? I live in a small village with next to no job opportunities. I'm a neet who lives with parents, but thankfully they're very understanding of the situation. Alternate ways to make money?
>>16995382
Make something.
Provide a service to others.
What I want you to do, is find a problem your town is having. Something tangible, not something like your village not having jobs.
>Picking up litter
>refurbishing dilapidated buildings
>education reform
things like that
now come up with a plan to solve that problem. Start small. It doesn't have to save the world.
Assemble a team of people willing to help you. People who won't quit out because they...
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>>16995382 Prostitute yourself.
I, like an idiot, only applied to four schools: Rice, Swarthmore, UTAustin and UTDallas. I was rejected from Rice and Swarthmore, was accepted into Austin with no scholarships, and got a full ride to UTD.
I want to become pic related. Would going to UTAustin be worth the extra cash over time? Also, what degree course is best? I'm currently thinking about comp sci bachelor's and statistics masters.
I can't answer your question because I don't know anything about these schools.
I will say this though, with education, you get back what you put in. So knowing that, which school has the "better" professors and environment for your learning experience?
>>16995376
UTAustin is typically thought of as having better professors and an overall better education, a lot of people call it the Ivy League of public schools. On the other hand, it is very much a party school: lots of drugs, free Iove, weird Austin stuff. It would also cost me about $25,000 to attend.
UTD has an environment that is a bit more academically focused, due to not having a football team and small Greek life presence. I visited both campuses and UTD has just as nice facilities, and better housing. No clue...
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>>16995413
Is it possible to find out what professors teach at both schools and compare their credentials?
As far as how much money you make, that will be completely about networking and job opportunities. The other school probably has a better reputation, because at some point a lot of people said that it was a better school; which lead to a lot of other factors ("better" professors, increased budget due to higher influx of applicants etc. etc.)
If you're doing this major for the money, go to the...
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I've been thinking about apologizing to people I've been mean to. Has anyone done this? Did to go well?
How long ago were you mean to them?
If more than a year, let it be. Next time you see them just be friendlier.
If 6 months, do it by way of a friendly outing
If 3 months, do it by way of a apology
If 1 month or less, heartfelt apology TO THEIR FACE.
>>16995332
All have been over a year. Maybe I'll just let it be. Thank you annon.
I've had people do this to me. There's a window of time where it's effective, and it's based on the severity of what you did.
I had former friends from high school apologize for talking inconsequential shit about me years after the fact. That was weird and pretty pointless, because I'd moved on. Six months after he cheated on me, my ex-boyfriend sent me a bunch of messages apologizing for what a dick he'd been to me, and that felt pretty good.
Ask yourself if you're apologizing for your own benefit or theirs. If by all reasonable...
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Is it bad to show up to my new job ( machine/robotic technician ) on a motorcycle? My jeeps fuel pump is slowly going out and I don't want to be stranded when it dies and be late for my first day so Id like to take my sport bike, pic related.
>>16995235
Why would it be?
>>16995235
Just explain why. Also, stress that you have more than one form of transportation and therefore will always be on time and at work. It's a selling point. Sell yourself OP. Sell yourself!
>>16995347
This!
It is simple, this man wicked me... I am in love with him with passion, he doesnt want to be with me anymore, he promised me a lot of things, he propose me and then change his mind, he is 20 years older than me, he lives in another city. long story short i cant move on... i cant he was my life and i feel empty.. please help me
Let the poor guy live, find your own love inside of you, don't bother him with it
I don't want to be that guy, but... Have you checked he isn't married?
Shit sounds fresh. Time will help, then try meeting other people, you own age.
Yay Vitamix. You are mine :)
What to make? Recipes??
>animals with next to no brain power, save pigs
>my friends
Fuck off hippie, we are at the top of the food chain for a reason
>>16995345
My best friend is made of meat :(
>>16995032
I bought a $10 blender at a charity shop.
It does everything yours does.
If one would pursue the dream of becoming a model, how would that person start? I live in a small town in sweden so there's no connections here.
I know i would qualify for the job. I get comments from people all the time that im beautiful and that i should be a model but im a bit insecure, but im also afraid that when i turn 30 i'll regret that i did atleast try
Does anyone have experience in the work field?
>>16994938
Get some decent photos taken. Send them to model agencies and see if they respond. BEWARE: If at any point someone asks you to pay money or pay for new photos or anything like that, they're scammers. A legitimate agency won't take money from you until they start getting you paying jobs.
Did not intend to sound egoistic
>>16994944
Thanks. Should i be retoutching the images or use heavymakeup or should i go for natrual look as im most comfertable with? If i do succeed i feel like im ending up with alot of makeup anyways
I think I might have a serious deep-rooted fear when it comes to relationships, sex, and women.
Although I have the common anxiety issues, I don't have problems with self-esteem (I think) and do well in public speaking. I'm fairly fit, and have been called attractive multiple times. I fit in pretty well socially (exceptional amongst guys) and in groups I tend to be one of the funniest and active.
However, I can't really grasp the concept of me being romantic or sexual with women, like it is something that is completely taboo. I mean I've had...
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I'm not a guy, but I was a lot like that all the way until I was finished with high school and in my 20s.
Did your parents have a good relationship? Mine didn't, and I think that had a negative impact on me, and made me very afraid of anything past friendship.
>>16994844
My parents are quite the opposite, they've been together for over 20 yrs and get along great.
I've never seen them "express their love" however, they kiss but I cant imagine them being sexual with one another.
Additionally, they have never had "the talk" with me. Maybe this is where this where it is rooted?
>>16994860
Hmm I couldn't tell you. It might not be "rooted" in anything specific, it might just be something you have that you've got to conquer.
I know it sounds cliche, but perhaps you haven't met the right person for you yet. That was definitely true for me. I didn't have any kind of attraction, romantic or physical, for anyone until I met and grew close with my now significant other.
Have you ever had a very deep, platonic friendship with a girl?
