Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 950. page
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Give me an extremely degenerate way to masterbate. Something exciting
>>17091046
Depending on your length and flexibility try sucking your own dick. Stretch a bunch first, don't hurt yourself. If you can't quite reach or just get the tip with your tongue then try to give yourself a facial or get it in your mouth.
>>17091046
Another option is to try and self fuck your own asshole. This needs some prep work. You need to stretch your asshole out a good bit before you start. Again, use lube and don't hurt yourself.
You will need at least 6 inches and you will need to be able to sustain a partial erection. Watch videos on how to do this and helpful tips.
> Protip: Don't get lube on your shaft because you will need to grip it to get it in there.
It feels more like getting fucked...
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>>17091046
Whatever you do post the results.
This just happened with gf:
>lounging around apt.
> she walks into living room
>we hug and she playfully squeezes me as tightly as she can
>"now let me try that on you"
>I squeeze her until she says stop
>her: let's try that again but I'll make a sound the whole time to see how my voice changes when being squeezed
>ok, hug her again tightly....
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>>17091031
I do things like this with my bf. You should just humor her. It feels bad to be rejected, even in a silly way like this.
>>17091042
This.
Your girlfriend sounds adorable. Don't be such a dick.
>>17091031
You told a woman "no". She is training you not to do it again
Hi /adv/, I've got a recurring problem with my boyfriend. We both like playing games together but he's got this competitive spirit that always surfaces. Normally nothing wrong with that, everyone gets competitive and it's fun. But he takes it to the extreme where he gets extremely butthurt and angry if I beat him, then he gives up on the game and gives me the silent treatment after. Sometimes I've lost on purpose just so he doesn't go batshit, but this is starting to wear on me and makes me not enjoy playing games with him anymore.
One example...
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>>17091027
Please. Dump his ass. The fact that you can beat him AND that he's a fucking child about it is not attractive nor fun.
I lose my temper when my bf beats me at tennis, because I'm a sore sport. But I don't dwell on it or take it out on him. I just use it to try to get better.
>>17091027
Beat his ass in vidya, then give him a blowjob
He'll forgive you
>>17091027
That's nothing, just wait until you burn dinner.
While I was driving home the other day, I started practicing asking girls out. And I realized, some phrases sound alright in my head, but sound really weird when I say them out loud.
example: Can i take you out sometime? Do you want to go out sometime? Lets grab a coffee.
They all sound so strange coming out of my mouth.
How do I not feel so weird about asking girls out?
Describe the weird feeling. How is it wierd?
>>17091043
Its like my mouth wasn't designed to move that way, that sort of weird. Or like when you say a word a bunch of times and it doesn't sound like a real word
Natural selection will clear it up in no time
I'm in military basic training and while it isn't insufferably difficult, I've found I'm simply not a good fit for it. I'd rather live a simple civvie life and keep my individuality. My only motivation atm is to not disappoint my family, which is why I don't want to just ask for a leave request.
If I get in sickbay long enough, I'll miss enough classes to get recoursed to another platoon, but since no more are being made for the summer, I have to wait 4 months. Having to stay in this shithole another 4 months without progress is a decent...
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Make good on your commitment and stop being a pussy.
You're in too deep now. Finish what you've started.
>basic training
Stop being a little bitch and do your duty
>>17090998
How were you allowed internet access pussy? They took our phones and there weren't computers anywhere we could get to them. Either way, it's time to fucking man up and finish it. I hated the Army, but it gave me skills to be a more successful person.
I want to do bioengineering as a college major because I like bio and math and it's pretty cool. I've heard it's a shit major though.
Has anyone else had experience with this major?
>>17090988
It depends wholly on the school, since it's not an established engineering field like mechanical or chemical. Since you like math, you'll have an easier time than others, but depending on where you go to school for it you could be doing anything from only focusing on the medical side of it to focusing on standard engineering disciplines, but just slightly tweaked for a biological focus. Neither of those two extremes provides you with the knowledge you need as a bioengineer.
Also, unless you want...
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>>17091006
I'm going to UCSD for bioengineering. I've heard it has a good program, what are your thoughts on it?
I also plan to do research if that means anything.
>>17091035
Fuck you, that's my thought on it. I wanted to study there but it was too expensive, so I had to go to a decent local state school. You sound like you'll be fine; you'll know in the first year whether you like the field or not.
What's the best way to tell my boyfriend I'm into ageplay/wincest?
We've talked about fetishes before, but I felt it was too early to disclose some of mine and I didn't want to scare him off.
fug I just want him to pick me up and hold me and be my qt azn dad ;-;
>>17090970
Ageplay is weird. How young? Asian people are usually into incest, he might like that.
>>17091055
I want him to treat me like a 6 year old. I know it sounds bad, I'm not a pedophile. I just like being treated like a small, clueless child.
>>17091069
Do you know if he might be into that? Poke around a bit and see how he feels about it. Maybe don't bring up wanting to act like a 6 year old, start with like 15 or something. What kind of fetishes does he have? Vanilla stuff?
Why do I see every woman as a potential sex partner? How do I stop seeing the world this way? How do I take things more professionally?
>>17090863
you are designed to see women as sex partners. you can attempt to get to know a few platonically but there are mixed results. being professional just means putting aside htings you can't resist thinking, and not acting upon them.
its the reason people are different at home than at the office.
>>17090869
But it kind of hurts to think. Is there any way out of this?
>>17090882
nope
I can't hear well with my left ear, it feels like something is inside it, and it hurts a bit.
This already happened in the past, I had to see the doctor, she put in some liquid in the same ear and a lot of disgusting crap came out of it, but the ear was alright and I could listen good again.
Anyone knows what's causing this and if I can do anything home made so i don't have to pay for medical care again?
>>17090860
ear wax, possible caused by using in-ear headphones.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CLEAN WITH FLUFFSTICKS
You can actually buy a water-sprayer for the ear at your local pharmacy
Before you put random shit in your ears, do your research.
>>17090868
thanks.
what do i do with the water spray?
just spray it at my ear like i'm a retard until its wet enough that i can tap my head from the right side twice and the earwax will fall on the opposite side?
>>17090902
sorry. i read it that irrigation is good.
i'm wondering if i put a lot of warm water in the ears during shower, directly streaming the ear, will help...?
>>17090856
Chiropractic treatment, physical therapy, rough sex with your mom.
>>17090859
can`t do the last one
or the other two because i cant afford it.
>>17090875
Your mom isn't that pricey.
What do you do when a girl takes forever to message you back? Do I message her again or do I keep waiting?
>>17090822
depends on your definition of 'forever'. my general rule when dealing with girls you are into is
>message her
>if no response in 24 hours, wait at least six more and do it again, but something more specific
>if still no response she doesnt care about you at all
What do I do if she doesn't care about me at all?
Stop being so needy.
Need advice. So a few months back I met this girl at my local climbing gym. She's absolutely gorgeous, we got talking, talked over the phone and text for like a week. Planning to go out on a date, she bailed. Tried again, she just didn't reply. Removed her number; didn't talk to her; she didn't talk to me. This whole thing is whatever; I could care less. But for some reason I'm beyond nervous to go back to the climbing gym even months after. (She still works there). How can I get the fuck over that fact. I just want to climb again beyond the fact of pure embarrassment.
>>17090795
by going. you might have your own personal ritual to psych yourself up, but its not the end of the world. you go, do your best nto to be an autist (you will be a little biit of an autist) and each time you go it gets a little easier.
i had a similar issue when i got really wasted at a bar. threw up a thousand fucking times. had trouble showing my face. but it is right across the street so it was to oconvenient not too. i went back and it was awkward but now its completely no big deal and no one remembers.
and...
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>>17090802
Thanks. I think the biggest thing I'm worried about it having like face to face conversation which is likely to happen. Probably going to go full autismo there.
>>17090813
just go, and be dismissive. give her a nod and a 'sup' then go about oyur business. acitng like its no big deal is the best way to let it pass
Been getting my shit together recently
Working out every day and taking sowers daily for a month now
I realized a while ago that my hips where odly darker than the rest of my skin and was recommended to just start moisturizing my skin and keep showering and it will go away by itself
Been putting on moisturizer and It just feels extremely weird, is this just because I am JUST starting to put on moisturizer, kind of like how your skin feels weird after you shave once or something like this or is this how it will always feel?
It just feels "icky" for...
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>>17090741
its probably something you will get used to, but be careful you arent over moisturizing. i moisturize my face and if i use too much i just look shiny and my face is basically wet, cuz your skin can only absorb so much. use sparingly, rub in more if needed.
>>17090754
>its probably something you will get used to
cool
> i moisturize my face and if i use too much i just look shiny
It.....it's not supposed to look shinny ?
I just started putting it on a night and when I wake up it stops being shinny....I guess I just wipe if off at night I suppose....
Thanks, hopefully drinking more water will help too, just want to get rid of this weird discoloration and take care of my skin and body already.
>>17090741
what moisturizer are you using on your hips? lotion is more than enough
moisturizer is face specific, make sure you're not putting too much on
College-experienced bros, I have an unusual problem.
One of my online class profs has a problem returning grades- as in, I'm still waiting on grades for stuff I turned in during January of this year.
I've tried contacting him multiple times via email, with no response whatsoever.
Do I go nuclear option and speak to the head of his department, or is that just begging for more trouble than it's worth?
Currently have High B.
>>17090733
Have you tried calling the professor or meeting them at their office?
Go to the department head, that's unacceptable and there's no way it'll get traced back to you if that's what you're worried about.
>>17090733
I'd just shoot an email to his supervisor (dept head).
>>I'm having a hard time reaching professor X. I've tried sending him multiple emails. Do you know a better method of reaching him?
Don't have to be an ass about it. If you were doing poorly in the class and NEEDED to speak with him, then it would be different.
What is the best way to hit on a cashier? My colleague says i should write my phone number on a banknote and pay with it but it seems too childish.
I kinda just want to ask her out but every time I meet her there are tons of customers and her colleagues around her wich makes it awkward to start a conversation that isnt about groceries. Im not a social person wich isnt helping at all.
She seems really into me as she always plays with her hair and smiles at me when i meet her but its impossible for me to ask her out for a drink due to earlier mentioned reasons
>>17090724
>its impossible to ask her out because someone might hear!!1!
this is your issue. you want your cake and to eat it to. you arent that much better than those guys who say
>is there any way to ask a girl out without risking awkwardness?
dont do the banknote thing as that can have mixed results. if you know what you would conversate about if people werent around, then do that.
>>17090730
>if you know what you would conversate about if people werent around, then do that.
I would just ask if she has any plans for tonight and ask if she wants to grab a drink. But with a line of customers behind me and two of her colleagues behind her, its fucking awkward, dont act like its not cause it is
>>17090744
>its fucking awkward
>dont act like its not
im not saying it isn't. its hella awkward. which is why i specifically mentioned how other anons will ask for a non awkward way to ask out a girl they know.
there is no non awkward option. you admit it yourself. there are no cheat codes. you could try scoping out her aisle walking back and forth with a cart full of food until she happens to have no one there, but it sounds to me like you'd...
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