Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 882. page
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So, I've decided to stop being a desu-spamming pleb and actually dedicate myself to learning Japanese. I studied Chinese for four years in high school but was never any good at it because I wasn't motivated and the teacher was mediocre, but I still remember a decent amount of it which will presumably help with kanji. Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice, tips, textbook recommendations, etc., either anyone who's studying/has learned Japanese or really anyone who's learned another language.
>inb4 don't
>>17116050
Go to the daily Japanese thread on /a/
They got a guide for this self-learning shit.
>>17116050
Do you want JP for speaking or for reading/writing? I had to take German in college and there is a huge difference between the two. Reading/writing is more grammar-dependent while speaking is heavily influenced by local dialects.
Basically, learning "high Japanese" like I did "Hochdeutsch" might not help all that much in understanding anime through listening unless everyone happens to speak with perfect grammar.
>>17116068
Surprisingly, this decision wasn't influenced by the desire to understand anime in Japanese, although that would be nice. Anyway, I'm going for an ability to read/write and speak. Not setting some low-bar shitty goal for myself.
>>17116055
Thanks, I'll czech it out.
How can I help my boyfriend to stop being a beta cuck?
Are you saying you fuck guys and he gets enjoyment out of watching?
>>17116037
You can't. Find a new boyfriend
>>17116042
He doesn't enjoy it, he gets upset, but he doesn't do anything about it. He just kind of accepts it.
Why is there a social stigma against mental illness like Anxiety, Depression, Autism, Bipolar ect.?
Have you ever been treated differently because of a disorder you have?
How have you dealt with it?
>>17116024
Stigma is there because people fear what they do not understand. They think that you are lying or trying to get attention when sometimes your body chemistry is physically making you feel/act a way that promotes actions that they think you can control.
I don't have a mental illness, but I have loved ones that do. The funny thing is that my relative who has Asperger's doesn't care that other people treat him differently. It's a blessing of the disease. I'VE been the one who went to counseling because I get so enraged when people make fun of him.
The people who don't understand how mental illness works are the same people who will abandon their moms/dads when they get dementia or Alzheimer's and become completely different people because of the disease.
>>17116024
They act differently from neurotypical people. The anxiety and depression isn't too ostracizing unless it's perpetual but the ASD isn't exactly something that comes and goes, and the lack of social awareness makes others uncomfortable. It's always easier to avoid that in which you don't understand than to try and accept it.
>Have you ever been treated differently because of a disorder you have?
Other than getting barred from the military for life, it hasn't really hurt me directly.
>How have you dealt with it?
I'm mild enough I don't have to do that much. I do go to therapy and group though.
>>17116024
>Why is there a social stigma
because people with these issues are often destructive and harmful to others
i have a huge zit on my buttcheek
should i pop it? pls halp
it hurts to sit
I popped a huge zit on my ass before. felt good.
>>17116018
in my experience buttcheek zits are generally unpoppable and will just hurt like hell if you squeeze them.
>>17116025
If OP can get someone to do it, there's always forcing it to pop with a STERILIZED (crucial) needle.
How do I stop precum?
Unfortunately I get it randomly sometimes usually when just doing average non-arousing things.
Should I change my diet? Should I stop masturbating? Should I masturbate more?
>>17116002
precum is sexy don't stop it. Nothing makes a stiffy sexier than that bead of sticky, gooey precum oozing out of the tip.
im a grill btw
>>17116021
Ok but it's inconvenient when in a non-sexual situation
>>17116021
>im a grill btw
no, youre not
So this is sort of a follow-up of a post I started a couple of months ago. Again, I’ll appreciate your advice on this one.
>Been dating GF for a year.
>Best friends. Known each other since junior high (9 years ago).
>In a long-distance relationship because of college.
>Not much time to hang out and of course, to have intimacy.
>Both virgin.
>Different experiences in terms of sexual exploration and relationships.
>Her: Kind of sleazy in high school, liked to tease guys just for her own pleasure, only details I know is that she’s done titjobs. Reached third base a couple of times. Had the chance but never had sex because she wanted “feelings to be involved”. Never had an actual boyfriend until she started dating me.
>Me: Only had one GF for two years in high school. Got along really well and had a very nice relationship. She found the idea of having sex terrifying and since my sex drive was not really high, we never did it. She knew we couldn’t be intimate in a physical way so she tried to compensate it by doing things like porn movies marathons in her house and so.
>Intimacy is complicated with current GF because it is all under her own terms. We make out and reached second or even third base just when she’s in the mood or in that stage of her period.
>Always stops me when I try to go further. Teases me but never do anything except let herself to be pleased.
>She starts avoiding intimacy with me. Says I’m pushing her to do something she’s not ready to do and that doesn’t know when she will be. Do my best to calm down. The same dynamic persists.
>Two months ago we started preparing for our semester abroad. She’s going to Spain, I’m going to Sweden. [Continues]
>We talked about our relationship. I had thought in continuing with it but she talks first and proposes that we take a time out so “we won’t be worried about what the other is doing, because we’ll live different experiences”. Although she want us to promise ourselves to go back together or discuss it right away when come home.
>*remembers how she was like in high school or that even in college she once went to male friend’s house to “hang out” and got so drunk that she woke up naked (supposedly didn’t have sex)*
>For her surprise, I calmly say that I agree to her proposal but that I couldn’t promise to go back with her or even be willing to discuss it right away, because I don’t know what the conditions will be by then.
>Doesn’t seem to like my response and says we should better talk about it later.
>Went to her place last weekend. Her roomies are not home. She’s really horny and we start making out. Again, when I try to go for third base she stops me. Says we need to talk.
>Says she’s ready to be intimate and that I should arrange it in a way that it will be special, then brings the next semester situation. I reaffirm my position, she still doesn’t seem to like it.
>Get happy at first but then I become suspicious. Why did she changed her mind in just a few weeks? Is she trying to use sex as a way to prolong the relationship?
>Considering what I know form her I have three theories:
>She just wants to lose her virginity with me so it means something as she always wanted. Then she can go fuck some Spanish boys while we’re on this break and then try to go back with me without any guilt;
>She’ll use this new level of intimacy as a way to exert pressure and keep me controlled while I’m abroad or;
>She’ll step up her teasing game to the point where I’ll compromise and promise to go back together when we’re home.
What do you think? Am I overthinking the situation? What should my course of action be?
So what are your actual concerns, OP? If you're thinking that first thing she'll do when she's abroad is get some nice Spanish dick, then I would recommend to end your relationship already. You deserve something better and besides, Swedish girls are so fucking hot.
It's not that I don't trust her or anything. It is the fact that even though she's with me she doesn't seem to care about my own satisfaction.
Do you think if I severely cut my tongue I can call 911 and get an ambulance to stitch it up for free?
I'm not trolling, I have an emergency that's too complicated to explain but I need to cut into this thing under my tongue called a "frenulum" and then I need someone to stitch it up (I don't have the $300-400 needed to get surgery)
Why cut the frenulum exactly?
I do not have advice but I will monitor this thread because I am interested to hear how you can potentially justify this.
>>17115949
everyone has a frenulum and it's not an emergency.
(Pic not related)
so I have had this crush on this girl for a good 2 years(she is my friend since like 2 and half years)
when I started to crush on her she came off a bad breakup, so I didnt make my move. Then a few months later she started dating someone else, which I didnt know about until like 6 months ago.
They had a bad break up too, with her boyfriend cheating on her(and she still loves him and wants him back) they broke up in February and I told her about how I feel about a month ago.
she didnt reject me or anything
she just told and I quote" But I don't have a bf I use to have recently he betrayed me
So its hard for me to move on it will take time
And soorry but I m not at good state
But Its great you shared me your feelings
and I respect your feelings"
I know I sound like an asshole but I dont know if I should wait around for her to get over her break up
she takes hours to text back and when she does she replies with something that doesnt keep the conversation rolling,
she is doing better than before, most of her friends are my friends too, and everyone I ask keeps telling that she is doing happy right now.
So should I just stop crushing on her and try and move on or wait?
>>17115944
Can you post some more bread? My buns are hungry
>>17115944
Move on. She has a track record of picking shitty mates.
She wont be interested in you at all. You will make things awkward and fuck up your friend group.
Just go find another slut to bang. Stop trying to save these hoes.
>>17117320
well you are right
I guess I'll move then
since im just wasting my time.
thanks anon.
I'm currently struggling with, and figuring out what to do in this situation /adv/ involving my gf of 7-8 months, we've talked for a year. I'd greatly appreciate input.
>gf posts status on fb about wanting someone to work out with her at gym
>typical response from a couple friends of hers who might take her up on it
>guy posts that he's down
>this specific guy we've discussed, he likes her, or used to, but I'm sure that indicates his intentions
>she had told him they could only be friends one night around the time we first started talking
>said he never hit on her or anything or texted her when she was with her ex or while we've been dating, in fact they mostly hadn't talked at all since we've been dating
>when i first saw the comment she hadn't responded, but has since "liked" it
While I admit this sounds petty, I'm disturbed by this.
>she did get her car worked on by him before we started dating
>met him at her birthday party out at a bar a couple weeks before me and her started dating. He was insisting he'd drive her home, she had told me she told him no, she'd drive
>he hung around not speaking to anyone standing off to the side and eventually left
She said he's quiet around new people. But either way, I feel pretty strongly I know his intentions from this. I don't know how to bring up this feeling with her, but I can't ignore his proposal to go work out with her and if they do together then I can't stay in this relationship. I don't want it to end but I can't accept that. It sure wouldn't be acceptable if I went and worked out with a girl who likes me. I hate admitting something as simple as a facebook like has triggered this but she didn't outright decline his offer or just ignore him.
Thoughts /adv/?
>>17115932
bump
Am I reading too much into a simple "like"? Is this legitimate cause for concern?
If you trust her, you have nothing to worry about anon.
>>17116077
It's just a like. She didn't comment anything back saying sure or whatever. That sort of like can be like a petty like, sort of like a aww like. Not serious at all if you know what i mean. By the way the aww is not something anyone wants to here it's like a aww that's cute let's move on now etc.
In short yes you're tripping and should stop being so paranoid.
The whole work experience shtick is so screwed up! How are you expected to gain work experience when you you need experience to get experience?!
yeah I know its like a catch 22.
You have to be persistent to succeed. Eventually someone will give you a chance
1. Entry level jobs
2. College
3. Military
4. Volunteering
Hi /adv/, do you think any decent minded girl would say yes when asked out via text or is it a 100% red flag? Im really oblivious about all these "dating rules", never even had a relationship because I was always shy when it got a bit more serious. I want to change that but try to avoid the biggest fuck ups.
Just met her at a party, I think we were hitting it off pretty good, got her number but I was a tad drunk (not shitfaced) so I did not go all in.
Have texted a bit with her this evening, but just 100% casual talk. I will very likely not see her in any casual environment again as we are both not the biggest party people and we dont have any common friends. I think actually calling her would come of creepy, so I have to resort to texting. Any tips? Thanks
Ask her out on a date through text? Sure, if you communicate through text pretty often
>>17115867
Yeah now is perfect timing to ask her out. That is why took the number so don't lose your goal out of your sight.
After some causal talk you just drop in some coffee or something and if you is interested and say yes boom green light.
>>17115872
Actually know her for 2 days now, but I will not go into orbiter mode again, just want to be straight forward with my intentions
So, a friend of mine at work has confessed to me that she has been cheating on her husband for over 8 years. It gets worse because she also told me that the guy she's been fucking all these years has just confessed to her that he's very much in love with her. It's none of my concern really, but I feel horrible knowing this.
The both of them are married and have kids. They have also told each other that they won't leave their spouse.
I asked her if they'll continue the affair and she said they may. I told her to be careful and that she should end it, but I don't think she'll listen.
She says that they have been doing this for years and won't get caught, however I believe that now it's only a matter of time before they get caught since the confession has come to light.
It gets more complicated. I think I flooded you guys enough. If you want to know more I'll be happy to explain.
I guess I'm just looking for some insight. Again I feel bad knowing this information and I know it's none of my business... I just need to clear my head.
>>17115817
I think you should tell him. It's clear she only cares about her own feelings so you don't need to worry about hers. Your friend deserves to know the truth. Esp. If she won't break it off.
It will destroy their marriage though likely
Are the kids even her husband's then?
Are you the only one she's told? If not, you could probably anonymously tell the husband what's been going on and enjoy the shitstorm to come.
Why do people even get fucking married? Fuck both of them.
I left school with good grades i just didnt take any high level math i dropped them early in which i regret so much. Ive always been interested in computing science i took it in hs and done really well in it, but i heard that for comp sci you need to know alot of math, i only learnt basic algebra i didnt pay much attention to math but now i dont know if i should take comp sci or not due to me not knowing any high lvl math like calc etc. Any ComSci students here that can give adv
You're probably going to have to upgrade your math at a college. It'll be called 'continued learning' or some shit. It's actually pretty great, I was always shitty at math as a kid, but when I took it as an adult I got A's in essentially everything.
>>17115798
How do you do so well?
>>17115801
I'm not sure if the material was easier, or if I just gave more effort in adulthood. But one way or the other, it was like night and day from when I was in highschool.
Hello, I'm looking to buy a new pair of over ear headphones. I mainly listen to electronic music (deep house, dnb) and my budget is limited at 250€.
I would use them mainly for travelling, but weight is no criteria. I would also use them with my iPhone. Quality bass and good noice cancelling are very important.
I'm definitely looking for a high end product. I am currently looking at the Sennheiser Momentum 2.0 and Beyerdynamic DT 880.
If this is the wrong board for asking please refer me to the correct one. Thanks in advance.
>>17115745
>my budget is limited at 250€
Bro, they're headphones... Even 50€ would be ridiculous to me. This is black people level of carelessness here.
Ath m50s are fantastic, have the best reviews, have lasted me two years even though I strain the cord
Just wonderful, really recommend. Also get velour pads, the default are shifty
I have V-Moda M-100s for the build quality, design, and sound quality. They look amazing and are structured with metal parts for strength and come with a hard case for travel. With a quality portable amp (Fiio Q3 in my case) the sound quality is superb. Sennheisers or Audio Technicas may have better sound quality but lack portability protection.
Do you ever get impulses to hurt or murder people in day-to-day life? Like when I'm just walking along I wonder what it would feel like to smash their head against the table they're sitting at, releasing all the pent-up soreness inside me.
You think that's like a disorder or something? I would never actually act on it but you know. But the urge is still there. Or fantasizing about murdering my neighbors. I would never be able to get away with it of course, everything is traceable, even shell casings you've filed have magnetic micro-prints left over.
Hopefully you guys have experienced similar stuff, right?
>>17115738
Yes, when I was depressed
>>17115740
Hmm, I am actually. I have never heard of that being a symptom though.
When I was a teenager, depressed, and extremely alienated yes. But not anymore. Now I would never dream of it unless I was really, really pissed off.
I'm not one to suggest therapy but if you have these feelings then you probably should. Maybe try God, taoist philosophy, stuff like that
![Grill%20Safety%201600x900[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/j23AL7t.jpg "Grill%20Safety%201600x900[1]")
