Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 875. page
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How do you accept making the morally sound choice when it comes at the expense of something you really want?
This girl I'm really into asked me to be her +1 on what amounts to a double date with our friend and his wife... but she has a boyfriend and a kid. I know I've got to decline because I can't be the guy who breaks up a family.
But at the end of the day I'm really into her and she's been making it more and more clear that she's into me. It just sucks because if I were a little more of a douchebag I could have what I want. Instead...
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>>17118842
If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you. Show some fucking empathy.
>>17118872
I'm not going to be hooking up with her so she's not going to be cheating on him with me, but I still hate that line of thinking.
If you meet someone who is the right fit for you, you shouldn't be like "well the other person found me first, so oh well, guess I won't be happy!" I mean, if someone does this shit all the time and is just constantly looking for something "better," sure, that's shitty, but it doesn't mean it's a hard and fast rule.
So it's something she's doing behind her bf's back? It doesn't seem that bad on its face but look at in terms of why should she be able to just jump from one guy to the other with no sacrifice on her part. I'd probably go but I'd also tell her to shit or get off the pot.
Here's the deal:
- 21 years old college student (school paid for)
- Approx $4,000 in debt.
- Make approx $1000 - $1200 a month.
- Pay approx $450 for my half of rent includ. utilities.
- Want to buy a house (because rent goes toward nothing)
Is it worth it now to start saving for a house?
When did you buy your first house anon?
Any regrets?
What helped you save money?
Please share you experience me anon.
>>17118804
>Is it worth it now to start saving for a house?
Always. Also you need to be putting money into retirement accounts.
>When did you buy your first house anon?
When I turned 30. I had been in my career job for 5 years and had no other debts and I had great credit.
>Any regrets?
Nope.
>What helped you save money?
Living within my means. Always putting...
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>>17118819
Thanks anon. That the possibility of moving later on is something I hadn't considered.
>>17118819
How did you decide to stay in that city? I'm a military brat transient great recession kid with crippling debt who can't find a place I want to stay in. I've lived many places.
My father is an on and off drug addict. he hasnt lived with us since i was 5. Nobody talks to him except me. My brother disowned him. I do things sith him but he's embarrassing abd annoying. He dresses like a crack head. Acts like a crack head and is socially awkward. He never stops talking about his issues. Its like he gorgot how to act. He's also really needy and we hang out every other week. I kinda dread it. I want to tell him to get his shit together but i fear he'll kill himself or something. He really fucked up my life at one point and i didnt talk to him...
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you need to check him into a place where they can keep an eye on him. you said on and off though, so i'm not sure if rehab is the place. he probably only talks about his problems because you're his only life line now. find support groups for him and force him to go. you're never too old to rebuild your life. be supportive but firm, don't be his emotional doormat.
>>17118808
Its really hard. I try to tell him to do shit like go to meetups n stuff. He has insecurities and always flakes out. I cant force him. He doesnt live with me. Im also only 18 and he's 55. Its really emotionally drainig and i feel like crying after talking to him. Its hard enough trying to figure out my own shit, now i have figure out my dads or he'll like kill himself.
Has anyone here successfully dealt with parents who should of never been parents? How do you seperate from parents who are do fragile?
>>17118871
he shouldn't be doing that to you when you're only 18. also, i don't know if you want to consider that option but if he's doing this you are justified in cutting him out if that's what you want. he's not being a father to you in any sense of the word.
so my boyfriend and i were hanging out with some friends and we were laughing and joking, just having fun. he pulls out his phone and says, "guys, wait let me show you what she sent me" (she being me) i was really confused until he started reading some of the sexts i've sent him. i was completely mortified, like beet red. our friends laughed and brushed it off but i felt so embarrassed. when we were leaving he asked why i got so quiet and i finally just told him that it was so embarrassing for him to say that. his answer was that our friends knew we were dating...
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>>17118785
Just tell him it was a dick move (it was) and if he pulls it again you won't be so forgiving
>>17118795
Pretty much this OP, don't let him think it's not important to you, your not asking for much just not for him to share personal messages.
>>17118795
>>17118803
yeah i know. he told me it was just a joke and that he didn't think it would piss me off, but damn i really didn't think he would actually say it out loud. i like him a lot too so i guess i just need to keep reinforcing it
/Adv/ice what are some more things I can invite people over to my place to do? I always meet people out that I would like to get to know better - whether that's girls that show interest or guys that seem cool and I honestly want to chill more with - but I don't know what to invite them over for. I'm definitely not a bar guy - I hate drinking, even one drink makes me feel like shit. I go out to bars with friends occasionally, but I always get high before with edibles or vape in the bathroom and hope I don't get kicked out. I hate being drunk; I turn into a retard.
Things I have at my place include:
>Weed
>Nice sound system
>Apple TV with Netflix, Hulu, HBO, some others
>Basic Cable
I'm working on getting my chef game up so I can invite women over to either cook with me or get cooked for... smoking weed and chatting is fun but not everyone likes to do that all the time either the weed or the talking... if I can find a show people haven't seen that they might like, I'll do that, but that's actually pretty rare. People who like watching TV usually know their TV.
I wish i could fit a pool table, air hockey table, or a retro arcade into my place and had the money for it. Pool would be perfect. I have a working SNES, Sega, N64, and PS1 set up, but I guess people don't see the magic in getting high and Super Street Fighter 2-ing or Mario Kart 64-ing anymore.
When I'm by myself I usually get high and dance to my stereo honestly. I love music and dancing. Otherwise I'm doing solo activities like working, cooking, cleaning, gyming, or sleeping.
I haven't really liked console gaming in a while. I'm more of a computer guy, which is usually a solo thing.
I just want peeps to have a good time.
Nice calvin and hobbes pic, here's a starter bump
>>17118790
Hahah thanks man, nice pic yourself
>but I guess people don't see the magic in getting high and Super Street Fighter 2-ing or Mario Kart 64-ing anymore.
I fucking do, holy shit. I wish I wasn't a friendless loser, I'd love to hang out with you man. Sounds like a blast.
>be me, 19 y/o college kid, grew up Muslim but family wasn't too strict about it so I'm essentially an agnostic Muslim
>started working for the first time 2nd semester, making money feels great
>notice I'm saving up quite a bit and mother's day is around the corner
>i'd never been able to buy my mom anything cause I'd have to ask my dad for the money and he's a dick about money
>decide to...
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I argue with my mother a lot and I also come from a muslim household. However I usually apologize despite feeling I may have had a leg up in the argument. Don't let petty shit ruin your relationship with your mother. I'm assuming you come from an immigrant background so its safe to assume your mother had to put up with a lot of your shit in addition to being a fish out of water.
Give her the IPad and sick it up.
>>17118695
Calm down.
It should be obvious to you, even in your anger, that right now you are thinking with your anger, not your brain. You chose to give her a present when you were being rational.
Which way of thinking is more likely to be right?
You need to chill. Everyone argues with their parents. If we all decided not be nice to each other over every argument, we'd all hate each other. Suck it up. Do your good deed and give your mother the iPad you bought.
You didn't grow up to where you are alone. She raised you.
Why would Amazon send me a package certified mail? I get stuff from them all the time, this is the first time. It's nothing expensive at all.
>>17118679
Amazon isn't one company. It's thousands of sellers with thousands of different quirks.
>>17118687
But this was shipped from Amazon LLC
>>17118679
Did you accidentally tick the box asking for special delivery? Or sometimes they have a day when everyone gets special delivery, just to promote the service.
23 y/o KV, never had a thing going with women in my life. I am a genuine 7/10, I workout, have a good job, a car, good friends and many hobbies but never been able to get any girls. I thought it was because of my game so I tried like dozens of dating apps/websites. After liking/messaging literally thousands of them, the only ones that showed interest are objectively 2/10s.
Does that mean I am physically repulsive? That I do not have great facial aesthetics? Does that mean I can never be Chad no matter how much I improve?
>>17118634
We can't tell without a pic.
>>17118634
Lower your standards.
idk what you look like
>live in another city 4 hours away from hometown
>fully intended to go in this weekend for Mother's Day
>have cute gifts ready, suitcase packed
>wake up at 4:00am in pain
>"that time of the month" with endometriosis and cysts feels like being stabbed repeatedly in the gut
>have just been curled up in the fetal position crying like a bitch
I'm going in 2 weekends...
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>>17118631
Surely your mother knows about your bad periods, so she'll know you're not faking when you say you can't visit.
Make a big deal about your next trip home - "Our Own Special Mother's Day"
>>17118631
>endometriosis and cysts
For one, jesus christ, get this fixed. This is extremely dangerous and you can get cancer very quickly if you don't address these issues.
Second, your mom cares more about your health than some dumb holiday. She'll understand.
>>17118631
>"that time of the month" with endometriosis and cysts feels like being stabbed repeatedly in the gut
I think you should drive home just so you can punch your mom for giving you bad genes.
mom wants to keep me at home because of my autismbux. she fattens me so ill self hate and wont go outside or college. she knows im mentally ill and takes advantage of me. what should i do anons?
You're going to have to shit. Everywhere.
>>17118590
Get a job and move out. If you can't/won't get a job, then you'll have to be mommy's little bitch.
Mommy's little bitch
Okay so I despise the people I work with and need better ways of easing my time around them.
I know if you have a job and are also 4chan regulars you must also hate your coworkers. Give me the secret tips
Just get a job with no coworkers.
Well it's hard to like most or even all of your coworkers if you work a shit job that no one wants to work. But even when I worked at walmart I had cool people I worked with that would bend the rules sometimes to help people and could crack good jokes on the job.
Do you have anyone like that?
>>17118497
Focus on the job and keep the chit-chat to a minimum--they may see you as serious and perhaps even a but anti-social but their opinions are just that--opinions. If you can, make your work space your own and consider even getting headphones so you can listen to something other than them. Good luck!
My significant other and I are both bisexual and have a (very one sided) agreement. We are able to have relations with people of the same sex AS LONG as the other is told in a timely manner and we both take the proper safety precautions. I say one sided, because I've simply looked before, and he had a fit. I have caught him twice lying to me. I consider that cheating, because I was not told and had to find out for myself. Now, I am 8 months pregnant and I've been finding questionable shit on his phone on top of him acting strange. He denies everything up and down....
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Wow.
Why would you act like you are ok with something that you are clearly not ok with?
>>17118493
Part 2 to my dilemma;
Sometimes I am convinced he may be gay and just with me to be normal. He doesn't look at me during sex ever, he doesn't get the concept of foreplay (me and his ex are besties and both have had this problem) and he never compliments me or anything. All the porn he watches is sissy/trap or gay. I just dont know anymore.
Sounds like he's not bisexual at all.
I live in Victoria, BC, Canada and I am going to graduate with a degree in computer science in 12 months. My parents live here and don't charge me for rent, food, or gas. They also pay my tuition and give me spending money. They aren't going to start charging me after I graduate either, but they will stop giving me money.
Housing prices are absofuckinglutely insane in this town, but they are even more insane in Vancouver so I am staying here. Last year, the average house price in Victoria was just over 580,000 dollars. Now it's over 680,000 dollars. That's...
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>>17118480
I have calculated that it will take me 3 years to save 100,000 dollars after I graduate in may assuming that my starting salary is 49,000 dollars, which is predicted by a career website I found, and I get a raise of 5,000 dollars each year, which is pretty common from what I have read on the web. If I stay home, my expenses will only be 500 dollars a month for car insurance, gasoline, and entertainment. If I move out, life becomes so expensive that it will take 6 years for me to save as much money, at which point...
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I don't know OP but I fucking love Victoria and want to move back one day. My favourite city in Canada
>>17118487
That's why it's so fucking expensive.
I hear people say "learn a trade!" all the time.
How easy is it to get into an apprenticeship program?
>>17118455
Were you born rich, white, and with a family connection to someone who runs one of these programs?
>>17118459
>rich
technically upper class
>white
yeah
>with a family connection to someone who runs one of these programs?
i know someone who's a pensioner in the union I'm trying to get into, does that help?
Does it help that I'm trying to get into a somewhat in demand field?
>>17118459
>thinking you need white privilege to learn a trade
Is this fucking bizarro world?
A couple of days ago I woke up with really bad headaches that were mostly concentrated on my temples and back of head. I could hardly stand up, and even when I did, my head had to be lowered to some good degree. I only felt better lying down and quick movements and coughing triggered the headaches badly.
My throat was a bit sore and at some point during that day I got a fever (highest I got was 37.9 C).
Next day I'm feeling better, no fever, but still little appetite. Headaches have gotten better, but still there.
Today is the 3rd day since I got 'em and...
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Suicide headaches?
Go to a doctor son.
bump for being scared
>>17118449
Here's a really bizarre off-the-wall idea:
See a doctor.
