Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 820. page
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I've been hearing noises everyday, somehow everything sounds sexual or I keep hearing sounds like someones having sex. My neighbours had loud sex at night recently and ever since then Its been fucking with me and I keep fucking hearing things. How do I stop this? I always listen out my window to see where its coming from but it's just my imagination. My town is pretty small and not city like but it's quite creepy feeling like this. going anywhere and suddenly hearing these noises.
Maybe your neighbors really enjoy sex?
Frankly, if I were you I would be expecting to have some pretty fantastic dreams if this is how your imagination works.
>>17137073
I'm pretty sure this was the first time I proper heard it, I keep hearing noises now. Like every noise sounds sexual. It's not a good thing for me :(
Also I don't think they've done it again after then.
Anyone have any tips for dealing with a panic attack?
I had one for the first time last weekend and since then I've been worrying over little things.
Took another today during one of my finals - I've never been nervous during an exam before so it came as a bit of a shock.
Well every time you have a panic attack, the first thing you should do is slowly and calmly remove yourself from the immediate surroundings. Find yourself a quiet "safe space" even if it means locking yourself up in the bathroom cubicle. Keep kitten pictures in your phone or something, that you could tangibly look at or hold on to and think calming thoughs about
>but what if I am having a panic attack because I lost my phone with my kitty pics or something
Don't just have one item. Assign positive calming thoughts with a whole bunch of objects, like clothing, shoes and so on. Get yourself into a weekly ritual as you get dressed like "this shirt is my favourite because I won a contest in this shirt before" to try and remember and hold on to the positive thoughts.
>>17136995
Ever since I started reading novels they seem to have gone away.
Try reading it helped for me.
Or an activity where your mind is concentrated they fade away little by little.
>>17137062
Appreciate it. Let the positive vibes flow through past memories and stuff, cool.
>>17137071
I've been studying so much the past few weeks that I've been missing out on a lot of physical activities so maybe that plays a big part?
How to avoid getting burnt out?
My workload is pretty extreme as I am working and going to school and I have very little time for other things.
>>17136993
Just tough it out for a little bit.
>>17136993
By not taking EVERYTHING super seriously.
By accepting that amount of effort is not equal the results.
By getting something which will distract you from self destruction (hobby, gf, family).
By being optimistic who can see good things no matter what.
By actually enjoying what you do, no matter what other might say, think or do.
>>17136993
Accepting that you did the best you could given your current constraints, even if it didn't meet your own standards of achievement. It's easy to say, but hard to accept, esp if you're used to producing top quality work in everything you do, getting A+s, etc. But you don't have to knock it out of the ballpark every time. Not at the expense of your sanity/health.
Also, I suggest that you listen to outside forces, too. i.e., it has been my experience that your family and friends recognize burnout long before you actually admit it.
Hey guys, so my mom got voluntold by my aunt to host a baby shower for my pregnant cousin. No big deal, except they are planning to have about 100 guests.
What the fuck. This will take place in Peru (We are organizing it from the US and then travel to Peru for the baby shower and birth in July) but to me this is just bananas. I think it's ridiculous to expect my mom - and by extension my sister and me to foot the bill for a 100 person party just because my aunt wants to. I just found out how many people they have in the guest list so far today, so I haven't talked to my mom yet, but does this seem fair?
100 people baby shower? why? they say it's because they want to invite all this extended family that would be "hurt" if they aren't included, which I think is bullshit. The wedding can include that, but not the baby shower right?
Check with the aunt the difference between 100 guests and 100 invitations. It is true that certain people will be offended and upset if they are not sent an invitation at all. An expectation of them actually attending is quite another thing. I don't even think there would be a gathering venue and accommodation for 100 people.
I would say that about ~30 people is reasonable for a baby shower in a large family, especially if they have to travel overseas for it. Have you spoken to your mother about it? Basically since you guys got voluntold, respond matter of fact to the aunt that the fixings will only be enough for 30. Chances are, only 15 odd will show up and you will be left with piles of food.
>>17136945
thanks for the reply,
in Peru extended family rolls a bit differently, for example last year we hosted a large party to celebrate my grandma's 80th birthday, and invited 120 guests and asked them not to bring kids and in the end we had 140 adults + 10 kids so we were scrambling for tables and chairs and food for everyone. Family friends invite other family friends or people that weren't invited hear about the event and assume it's open invitation and just show up, that's just the way it goes over there, with my mom's side of the family anyway.
So yeah I like your idea of setting up the limit to 30 straight up, and if she says "but i have a list of 100" then ask how she'd like to pay for the accommodations of the other 70, pay for a bigger venue, etc.
Who should take priority in a baby shower? the mom's friend, or family (aunts)?
>>17137009
I think your family is just shitty. If the mother wants 100 people that just means she wants 100 gifts for her/her baby. Your mom should tell her to fuck off.
What's wrong with going into CS? Should I combine with a business major or something for better chance of employment? The university I'm going to is pretty math-heavy in CS.
>>17136899
Just do CS for now. If your GPA goes to shit, consider tacking on a few business classes to bump it up. Also do internships and research early with your free time, way more valuable than an extra major.
>>17136914
>business classes to improve GPA
Fuck no. Operations Management, Finance, Organizational Leadership. Those are the types of classes in a School of Business. And they fucking BLOW DICKS. They are not easy. CS is far easier. Just don't fuck up from the get go and never have to worry about needing to pull up your gpa.
>>17136932
I guess it depends on the school, so let me clarify.
>If your GPA goes to shit, tack on a few intro-level classes taught by a professor with a reputation for being easy, perhaps in business.
I'm thinking about moving to AZ from PA, I don't have any jobs lined up or anything, or any place to stay, but I was in AZ last week and I liked it and I need to get away from home.
I'm not really sure how to go about this though, I've never moved out by myself, let alone to another state across the country. I'm not sure if I should find a job first, find a place first, how I'd know a place is good for me without going to check it out first, etc.
Can anyone offer me any advice? I do have some money saved up, enough to live for a couple months probably.
take a vacation here for a week and see if you like it. Line up a job and a place to live so you arent forced into somethingg you dont want out of desperation
>>studying in Tucson
How much money do you have? You'll need enough to support yourself for 6 months or so. It can be pretty hard to find work sometimes when you're somewhere new without any friends or family. Having at least 10k would be ideal.
>>17136867
I was there for a few days to check things out, didn't do any job or apartment hunting which I'm sort of regretting. I just think it would be weird to go back so soon and not stay out there. Also, I don't know if I'd be able to get a rental again, I failed the credit check because I have no credit and the only way I could get the rental was to pay money under the table so the guy would mess around with the prices and not do a credit check.
>>17136895
I have like 8k right now
>Me
>From a working class family
>Got into college on scholarship
>Smart, ambitious, and probably really bitter about having to fight hard for things others simply got handed
>Only okay looking
>Her
>From a wealthy family
>Got into college as a legacy student
>Very nice person, not very bright, very sheltered background
>9/10, modeled some as a teenager
We've been married six months and she's starting to grate on me. How to marriage?
>>17136842
Try to see things from her perspective, ask her to see things from your perspective. It's one thing to be proud of your accomplishments and it's another to use your accomplishments as an excuse to look down on others.
You are not a very bright person, are you? You have now learned that marriage does not work on "stat points" and what it means to sell your love out for the sake of what you believe is an "accomplishment" or "success".
I suppose you can get an annullment, it's only been 6 months.
>>17136855
That's communication 101. We learned that one while we were dating.
>>17136863
You sound mad about something. Don't project it onto something unrelated.
Pic related
So I meet this girl a little over 2 years ago and we ended up hooking up while she had a bf (didn't know this). He finds out they break up and we keep doing stuff. Thinks he wants her back so she goes and finds out he wants nothing to do with her. She ends up dating this guy who is part of my friends group. She sees me again after a few months, leaves him, we fuck, then goes back to him when she thinks she's pregnant. She's done this 3 times now. So idk what to think. It's funny. It's like, whenever she's around me she talks about marriage and kids (since we first hung out), then tries to have me impregnate her only to go back to the same guy. Maybe she's trying to cuckold the dude? Idk.
>>17136830
What if she pokes holes in your condoms and lies about being on the pill and shit? What's your plan?
cut it off with this whore
>>17136839
We've never used condoms and I've always came deep. She'd beg me to cum in her
Hi,
I started studying at RMIT University in year 2009.
My 1st semester went well, not to mention that while doing English course at REW and Foundation studies all my grades were -great- never the less.
Prior to 1st year in university, I had few occasions where specific tutors would use Symbolism, hint to me that -there is this Arab guy in this class who we want him to join us- I kept not paying attention, as I was the only -Arab- guy.. sigh..
Am from Dubai, my family holds main jobs in very effective government positions.
What do I get? Good life, privilege and he threaten me that they control this -mimicking sex-.. I kinda told him to screw himself and his Jewish Zionist masters -lulz it was worth the try his facial expression was priceless-..
5 girls I dated it dumped me, got Credit Cards...lulz?
Next morning the tutor was so mean, always using symbolism and lookin at me T.T.
I passed 70%, but then gave up. Never expected Australia as illuminatis island.
The problem was 1st year, I passed it with flying colours, all lecturers seemed to be -your every day teacher- that's it..
But in 2nd year, shit. They sent me the force of the illuminati Lecturers, they were so mean to me. Emails were being replied with utmost douchness. I wouldn't pass their subjects. Eventho am doing well!
Le me & buddy -indian- got the same report, same numbers, same details. Just different context to avoid Plagiarism. I would get 40% and he will get 90%.. wtf?
Not only PJR, Katrina Neville, Brendan McGrath, etc..
One time, in EEET2250 the lecturer started it being friendly telling the class that "there a guy here from UAE, we can make him hate this University, if he move to other we will send our troops there, ah you see? you are not the only one who can have troops,,, -tried to mention half my name- so why don't you come to my office and discuss it". Then things became ugly really. Bullying at full throttle. In front of 300 students.
So 8 years? 1 year doing Ennglish, 1 year doing Foundation then 6 years doing Major? failed many subjects I guess.
What the fuck are you talking about
Go to your Dean of Student and discuss these issues with him, and get the academic senate involved to appeal your grades.
I do NOT recommend using stupid ass words like "Jewish Zionist masters" or "illuminati" or "symbolism".
Im quitting caffiene and Im twoo weeks in but I have a buttload of studying to do and I cant focus.
Help me
Hold my hand
Remember how shitty the withdrawals were for the first 3 days. Do you really want to go through that again?
Remember how caffeine made your anxiety a lot worse/was affecting your heart condition. You don't want to be a wreck or die, do you?
>>17136790
No but whats the alternative? I still feel withdrawls a little bit and I am way more tired. I tried water and tea but Its just not doing it
>>17136794
Decaffienated tea that is.
So, me and my bf, he is 38 and i 23, 8 months together. Everything good, but since i lost my virginity with him, like 3 month ago, he become very jealous. I cant laugh, not even alone, he says that i am thinking in someone, i cant have friends, not even girls because i am bisexual, he read my cellphone and always is mad. He shouts at me for everything, he says i am a bitch. We
been back together like 6 times right now, he always apologizes and says that he is to jealous that he gonna change. But he doesnt. Yesterday he call me whore. Because i say i wanna have sex with him for text and he says that why if he is not right there with me. He apologizes again and text me: "I am boring that you make me think that. I guess that i find that you tell me that you are not a whore. That you make me know it". I truly start feeling guilty of something that i dont know. I love him, but every time that he insult me, that he shouts at me, i feel broken. Should i help him?
or leave him?
Leave him you fucking idiot. This has to be bait. Like, what the fuck do you think, genius? He'll treat you like shit for eternity
He's abusive, he's broken. Not you. Leave him and don't take no for an answer. If he promises to change it's manipulation. Abusers operate by isolating you from friends/support networks. He's paranoid and untrusting, and makes you feel like shit. Not all abuse requires a slap or punch. Get out and don't look back.
>lose your virginity to him
>he calls you a whore
He's fucking insane, OP. Dump him.
There's a reason he's not in a stable, happy marriage at the age of 38.
Backstory first, then tl;dr
Summer 2015 I got my first job at Kmart. It was very hard, I thought, even if I didn't know any better since I never had a job before. Looking back it did suck. I worked 6 days a week, for 5 hours a day, and my days off were arranged so that I'd get 2 days off every 2 weeks.
I have a long distance boyfriend who lives in another state. We have a time difference of either 2 or 3 hours, depending on if daylight savings time is active. Thus, my schedule meant I rarely got to see my lover. I was so lonely and sad.
Despite my efforts, I fell in love with a coworker because he was kind to me and seemed to care. In my depression and loneliness that was all I needed to get hooked, because I missed my boyfriend's love and attention. It was a really hard time for all of us.
Something happened with my coworker and after all this time, nearly a year later, I can't forget him. He let me touch his hair and sometimes we hugged. I found out that I love to be petted. I was ass over teakettle for this guy. But he knew better since he knew I was taken. He was really cautious.
One night my coworker took me bowling, and then we went night driving. The moon was full and big and it was romantic as fuck. Along the way we stopped to talk and we were a little playful with each other. We knew it was "bad" but neither of us wanted to leave each other. It was a really romantic time either way. He had a nice smile.
Why do I keep thinking about this guy? He didn't have a good personality. He was always a busy busy college boy. Why do I care so much? Why can't I let go? Is it because I had feelings for him? He was very fun to touch
TLDR
>1 year ago, get first job
>never get to see my long distance boyfriend, really
>lonely and depressed, even more than usual
>fall for coworker hard
>had intense feels
>we hugged sometimes
>let me pet him
>why can't I stop thinking about this guy
>even after I cut him out of my life completely
You're the reason long distance relationships can never work. You actively went out of your way to be a cheating whore
OP, just break up with your boyfriend and find someone more local to you. Obviously this LDR thing isn't working out for you.
>>17136736
How is hugging making someone a cheating whore.
/adv/, is there a manual on how to function as a human being and take care of yourself?
i kinda missed a lot of memos when i was growing up
Step 1: Try to do things that make you happy
Step 2: Try not to hurt other people in your pursuit of Step 1
If you want a more specific answer, you need to ask a more specific question.
>>17136702
Different faiths offer ways to live and most reinforce being a good person overall. Explore spirituality and see which path might be right for you! GL!
>>17136719
>if you want a more specific answer you need to ask more specific questions
mostly this.
>>17136702
im not sure what you are asking really, what aspect of life? all? lets start with the basics.
>get a job
>use your money to pay your rent first, as the rest can be paid when needed
>use leftover money to buy food. as a single person you should be able to eat well with 250 dollars a month. try not to spend more than this.
>use leftover money to pay your bills.
>anything left after that should be split between savings and fun.
shower once a day, brush your teeth twice a day, create a chore chart to make your apartment clean (it will take you less than a half hour a day of cleaning to maintain a small apartment)
How can I smoke weed without it smelling?
I'm crashing at my dad's place for the week but he's out for a couple days. I want to smoke but he knows the neighbours very well and they'd probably say something. I don't want to smoke in the house for obvious reasons.
There's a garage at the end of my garden that I will probably smoke in, but the neighbours still use their garden (shed converted into a bedroom).
So my plan is to smoke in the garage but obviously without making it really obvious. Tips?
I have access to a bunch of household items. I don't have access to a bong or a vape.
p.s. how do I fend off a smoker's cough (of course, apart from smoking less)
Forego this bullshit smoking idea, go to the dollar store and get a saucepan and make yourself weed butter.
There's no way to smoke weed without making a stink.
Just go somewhere else if you need to smoke that bad.
>>17136726
This
Or you can get dryer sheets/cinnamon
>tl;dr unable to keep hard on like I used to unless I'm fapping to porn.
lately I've been having trouble maintaining erections during sex or around women in sexual situations really.
Throughout the day I constantly have massive raging boners for no reason or if something sets me off but during sex or massage I might get a boner momentarily before it dies.
Had raw sex with new gf and did fine the first time though I didn't last long before Cumming inside of her. The next morning we did it again but I lost my erection during sex. Also, I could hardly feel anything(first time had barely any feel as well). Had to stop and encourage it to rise again before barely finishing her.
So all week I've been doing no fap to prepare for gf again.
Today I got a massage at massage parlor(no happy endings but I like it). Normally i have a raging boner when they flip me over because I hope one day they'll give me a hand job but today I only got hard once and stayed soft the whole time until the qt masseuse "accidentally" allowed my hand to rest against her phat ass for a few minutes. Even she seemed disappointed I wasn't at full mast the whole time. She even accidentally touched my dick a few times massaging my upper thigh which she's never done before.
How can I fix it? I think it's a mental problem.
>>17136695
Simple rule to all losers out there: if you have/want an active sex life, don't fap, don't porn.
Your body is not designed to perform that often. It's unnatural.
If you're bored pick up some other hobbies instead of playing with your dick all the time like a three year old toddler.
>>17136695
>How can I fix it?
And give the no fap some time. It may need up to three months for you to recover.
>>17136774
So watching porn without fapping is just as bad?
Is touching myself but not actively jacking off also bad?
>>17136781
3 months? Not sure if I have that much time but Alright. I need to somehow recover for tomorrow when I visit my gfs house.
![moving-truck21[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/FhUtEVF.jpg "moving-truck21[1]")
