Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 825. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 825. page
I got out of college with a degree in chemistry last year and I'm still only part-time bartending. My GPA was 5 on a 7 point scale, and I never failed a class, so I'm not dumb.
I just don't know what jobs to apply for. All the careers advisors I've met with just said that I'd "figure it out eventually" or encouraged me to keep working in hospitality or something. I feel like I can't see any real career options. All the advice i get is about networking or mentoring – I have a rather large network of friends, and I make a point to go out and meet new people at least once a week, but none of them are really in a position to offer me jobs, and as for mentoring, I've never had one in my life, and wouldn't even know where to begin looking for one when I have no clue what professional field I should be looking at. I've been offered one or two positions at startups – but they're gruelling hours on less than I'm currently making part time, with barely any benefits.
I've even asked my parents for help – but they're convinced that I've already got it all figured out and don't need any help. They laugh me off. "You could get a job easy! You're just working bar because you don't want another job".
How the fuck do I fix this? I'm charismatic and friendly and have glowing references – I've never had an interview where I haven't been offered a job. I'm trained in a moderate amount of data analysis (though I haven't done it in a few years). I've got experience writing for websites and publications, and charity work. I was fucking senior class president. On paper I've been told I'm a great candidate – just not one that anyone can think of any jobs for that I wouldn't need to endure another three years of school and heavy debt to get.
>>17135146
https://www.intelligencecareers.gov/ check out some internships or just straight up jobs on there that interest you.
>>17135146
I want to get out of hospitality because my girlfriend is a teacher and I'm sick of having to work weekends and nights and miss out on seeing her and my friends. Plus, it's not a sustainable career for when you're older.
I've got another major in history and a minor in philosophy, but I didn't mention them because they're pretty worthless lmao.
Every job ad I see is for call centre operators or professionals with >5 years experience. I've applied for a few generalist grad programmes, but they won't start til next year, and I'm not sure I even like my chances with them considering I'm now a bit older.
I can work under pressure. I've done shit in music events merchandising before – again, to glowing references all round. I only lost that job because the venue I worked for shut down (it was a smaller one), and all the bigger venues want more experience or in-field qualifications.
I just don't know how to apply or spin any of this hodge podge of experience to get a ~real job, nor what field to look into.
>>17135156
Thanks man. I'm not an American, but I'll check out my country's equivalent I guess.
How to come to terms with dying alone?
So I'm getting old, and I haven't had a relationship in a few years. To be honest, I've turned down some chances because I couldn't see myself loving/spending the rest of my life with those people so why put us through that inevitable emotional turmoil? The ones I truly fell in love with ended up not caring for me as much as I did them. That's life. Those chances seem to be getting fewer and fewer, and I'm pretty embarrassed now going to family dinners stag when my older siblings are married and with children now.
A relationship for me has always been mostly an emotional/intellectual level, not so much about looks. I wouldn't consider myself vain, it's just hard to find people I think 'there's someone with strong morals, beliefs and knows how to have fun' that suits me. 27 year old guy, don't really know how to find what I'm looking for anymore. Dating sites and bars are pretty much a negative. Is it time to buy a pet and become a crazy cat/dog man?
First all , youre young, and you dont need to search for perfect match you will never find one, bars are for fucking ,date sites are for desperates looners, you want someone specifically? Then make that kind of people come to you, create.a blog about avant garde art or any shit you love, interesting people will come at you, i dont know if you get the point, i meet.bunch of interesting girls that i date and became friends to , by uploading draws and poems to instagram of things i like, sounds cringy but it worked, you want that people notice you then offer them something , write a book, play some instrument, whatever but do something
>>17135211
I do some writing actually, nothing incredibly serious but when I feel some inspiration I like to get into it a bit. Maybe a writing site, I don't really know how to go about it. I'm not looking for a perfect match by any means, just someone that's compatible with me. And not in a similar interests sense, I don't need them to be a carbon copy of me without a penis. But sharing something like a love for writing isn't a bad start. Tell me more!
>>17135129
>getting old
>27
It always makes me laugh when people give up on their lives when it's barely begun. People are such pussies.
Sup /adv/ familia
So I need some advice on my greed. I have some kind of dire need to become a criminal because I want to be rich before I'm 25, like driving lambos and penthouses rich.
I don't see how I can legitimately get there without doing some crime to get me started, maybe whitewash the money and play the odds on the stock market, make my own business who knows.
Regardless, greed is stricken on me, I don't want to feel this way but I feel like if I don't I'll be too old to do anything in my life. Like this fear that if I ever do become super successful I won't be youthful enough and have the energy to do anything.
Halp
Also Im 18, for the sake of knowing
Sorry kiddo but you're clearly too stupid to earn make money but I'll humor you. Breaking the law to earn money is retarded and for niggers.
Here's what I did.
>Step 1: Find digital marketing product and torrent it
>Step 2: Watch it over and over learning all of the content and then make your own product.
>Step 3: Sell the product online for about 500 to 1000 USD.
>Step 4: Use the marketing skills taught in the original course to market the product for a year or two.
Getting 1000 people to buy a product costing you virtually nothing for $1000 dollars on the internet isn't difficult. You're looking at a max investment of $2000 to make well over a million dollars.
You're probably a faggot though so you should just stick to sucking cocks.
>Protip: Lambos are shitty little understeer machines. Get yourself a 675lt or a GT3 like a respectable human being.
>>17135135
That's pretty smart
Did you really do this though?
I find it hard to believe with the retards on here one of them made a shit ton of money this way
>>17135152
Seriously bump, you could be my saviour
>You have up most of 5 years, but might die sooner
>You're going to die painfully regardless of when
>You could die any day even by your own terms
>What would you do?
I don't have many good ideas of what I should do with what I have left so give me something good.
have a kid, travel make a time capsul/burry it leave a map for future anons
>>17135065
Daniel you are one dumb motherfucker
>>17135052
id think about all the things i wanted to do, and find a way to do them. I was in a similar position recently [spoiler] but now im in remission [/spoiler].
at the time I had three shows I wanted to produce in some form. when I was told I might have a little over a year i figured i could just speed write them as a series of 9 books instead, and release them online for hte fuck of it.
tl;dr: Is it worth leaving someone for one major thing, when the relationship is otherwise perfect?
We've been together since August 2014. I'm 22, he's 27. When we met, I was in the middle of my apprenticeship and working to solidify myself in my career. I'm highly ambitious, planning to work my way up the corporate ladder. I'm now stable in my job, furthering my education, looking for every way I can to improve myself. Meanwhile, boyfriend is currently unhappy with his career, hesitant to make any kind of changes, seems to be almost happy wallowing in his misery. Does admit to having issues with depression, and did bring some baggage from his last relationship. Not very ambitious himself.
Otherwise, our relationship is wonderful. He's super supportive of my ambitious nature: hangs out at the office when I work late, brings me dinner, takes care of the dogs, cleans the house, basically treats me like a queen. He encourages me to achieve, and takes pride in me. Our sense of humor is the same, we get along well, our friends all get along well, and so on. We've had a few bumps along the way, but nothing most normal couple's don't go through. I appreciate him immensely, and love him to death. We've very much talked in depth about spending our lives together, what we both want in the future, etc.
However, the more I advance personally, the more I feel like I'm outgrowing him. It's bothering me that I'm not with someone who aims for the stars. I crave that "power couple" status. I want to feel like my partner is keeping up with me. He and I have discussed this; his response is essentially "I understand why you feel that way, and I'll try to do better, but I can't control you and wouldn't blame/hate you for leaving me." Admittedly, I don't myself have a ton of experience dating prior to him. I'm inclined, therefore, to think this is a "grass is greener" type scenario, and don't want to jump to anything rash.
Any advice? Thoughts? Suggestions?
You're a woman, so naturally there is almost no way you can be happy or attracted to a man of lower social status than you. There are of course exceptions to this tendency, but you do not seem to be one of them. You seen to be very interested in playing the status game and he does not.
If you're not familiar with the term "hypergamy" look it up. I'm not going to call you a terrible person like other anons will, because you earn your own money, but I think you and your boyfriends values fundamentally do not align. For some couples this dynamic works, for others it does not. Maybe have a serious talk with your boyfriend.
Myself, I also have trouble with motivation and depression. I think it had a lot to do with childhood conditioning. Pic related, but I'm trying to work on it,
>>17135031
Wow, you're kind of a bitch. Seems like nothing would make you happy. I'd suggest you die alone at this point.
>>17135066
I never white knight, but I also try not to tip my fedora, and you're tipping right now. I think OP is being rational and mature. She can't help her feelings, and she has brought them up to be openly discussed rather than being passive aggressive. And on top of that she even conceded that this is probably a "grass is greener" scenario. Not sure why you're so butthurt laddy.
Her boyfriend is essentially atrophied from a female perspectve, it would essentially be like dating a fit girl who got fat. Maybe you could live with it, but maybe you could do better
I'm going to get one of those minimum wage jobs this week so I get out of my house. It's my psychiatrist's idea.
Any tips? Is applying in person or online? Random Japanese princess. I'm 20 btw.
>>17135018
Good on your psychiatrist, my part time job is the number one thing that helps with my depression. I sit around for six hours while strangers talk to me and ask me how I'm doing and get paid for it. You feel productive and your coworkers are also cool, nice people your age.
I'd avoid food service, because it can be pretty stressful due to the pacing. A lot of retail positions in your local mall are easy gigs because you're usually two people working a pretty small store.
Bring some resume's to drop off. A lot of places will tell you to apply online, but that's okay. My manager usually meets with anyone who tries to drop off a resume and gets their name so she can look for their online application when it comes in.
Good luck!
Ganbatte hime-sama
>>17135018
One minimum wage job isn't enough to move out. Resume's aren't really necessary for retail jobs or anything that doesn't require actual skill.
To ignore a Facebook message or not ignore?
So last weekend during Free Comic Book Day I went to my local comic book shop. I met a couple of local comic book artists, one who has done work for Marvel and DC.
I mentioned I was an aspiring artist and showed them my work. They asked to become facebook friends because yay networking.
So hours later, the artist who worked for Marvel and DC sends me a PM over Facebook saying it was nice to me meet etc. But then he asks "do you like coffee?"
I'm like "yeah why do you ask...?"
He's like "oh I like to go to a coffee shop and draw. I figured maybe we can get together to do a comic jam." A comic jam is when 2 or more artists just draw a random comic together. Like the 1st artist draws a panel, the 2nd artist comes up with the 2nd panel, etc.
I said that would be cool but I work full-time in Manhattan and come home past 7pm so that might be rough.
He says "that's cool, whenever you're up for it let me know."
Then he asks to take a look at my online portfolio, I link him to it and that's that for then.
So tonight he just messaged me with "hey comic book artist"
I feel incredibly awkward and don't know what to reply back.
One, I could've swore this guy said he was married. He facebook profile says he's single. Unless he divorced...?
Two, I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't, I have no interest in this guy at all. I'm not going to mention that right off the bat because...
Three, I don't know if he's just being friendly and awkward or he's interested in me romantically. I don't want to assume he's interested romantically and tell him I have a BF, but don't want him to get the wrong idea either.
But since he's a facebook friend he should see that I'm in a relationship anyway.
I'm paranoid if I say the wrong thing to this guy, maybe he'll bad mouth me to DC or Marvel or anyone in the comics industry. I looked him up and he definitely did do work for them.
What do I do? Respond or ignore?
respond go be social /network that called oppurtunity knocking
>aspiring artist
>turning down a perfectly good opportunity to make a professional connection
Do you know how many people would love to collaborate with someone who's worked for major comics, even just a hokey little doodle comic? Think of all the shit you can learn.
Nothing he said was particularly flirtatious, he probably just wants to help someone starting out in the business. For fuck's sake.
If he clearly hits on you, mention your boyfriend and that's it.
>>17134969
sounds fishy to me.
what is the age difference, if he is older he may or may not be trying to mentor you and not date you.
or he may be looking to fuck around on this maybe wife. hard to say.
I'll sum it up
>Acquaintances with girl on good terms; we rarely talk and see each other tho
>Tried to hit on her looks once saying she looked damn fine and she responded with haha, thanks. I took it as a means to back off
>Trying to sort out a lot of shit in my life, like finding a job
>literally gave up on her because she's been around the block and that most women aren't worth dating because I'm not up to par standards and they're not up to mine
>go on snapchat
>all dolled up at a top class bar on the snappy chatty app
>for some reason I'm angry but don't know why
I want to know how do I turn this to good motivation for myself to improve? I've been a crying jobless neet for a year and this pretty much set me off the edge of physical pain.
>>17134958
>hit on girl
>because she doesn't want to see me I decide girl is not good enough for me
>see her having a good time without me and get mad
Make up your mind, dude. You're behaving like a child. You're like the poster child for /r9k/ dysfunction.
>>17134971
I realized at the end that we might not be compatible. I'm a jobless neet who's depressed and this girl who looks like a innocent person has been around the block and goes to top class places
It's not the fact that I can't make up my mind. I'm slowly realizing that I'm angry with where I'm at life. Just want to know how do I turn this to something positive rather than hanging myself
>>17134981
How do you know if she gets around? If you feel that way forget about it.
It would be wise to show her that you want to be exclusive , or ask if she's interested when she's single.
It pays to be there when the girl you want frees up.
In the meantime be happy! Go out and enjoy yourself as well.
My boyfriend has pretty severe depression. We've been dating for about six months and I have no idea what to do with regards to it. Constantly saying "I'm sorry" and "that sucks" makes me feel like a woefully unhelpful asshole, and giving him kind of optimistic pep talks just seems to make him more negative.
Back when I was depressed I always used my romantic relationships as a coping mechanism, but he mostly just isolates himself and it really worries me.
To the people here who struggle with depression: how would your ideal romantic partner help you deal with it? What makes you feel better and what just annoys you?
I'm a femanon, but listening when I need to talk about everything's making me depressed is helpful. Optimistic pep talks are typically pretty hollow and thus don't help. I just need to vent to someone who won't judge my feelings.
Telling me that mental illnesses aren't real will make me leave you immediately.
>>17134920
If I had someone I would want someone who is sweet, caring, understanding and supportive. If I had someone like that it would make me feel better.
What would annoy me is if they told me to cheer up or snap out of it.
>>17134920
Men have a habit of isolating themselves when they are depressed.
Just try to be there for him. Try to get him out of the house and into the fresh air for a good walk or a trip somewhere nice.
Give him some good experiences and some sunlight and some amount of happiness you can.
He is getting therapy right?
If not, that is step number one.
You should also talk to him, try to get him to open up if you can. It might fail. don't feel bad if it does. Try to keep him active. Don't suddenly do all his chores for him and cook for him all the time. Even if it is nice, it will become too much of a crutch.
Get him to do stuff, even if you have to nag him. Sometimes nagging can be beneficial, and anything is better than being in his bed alone with his own thoughts
I posted last night asking for ways to communicate with my boyfriend that doesnt seem interested anymore.
I was blunt like some anon said and said that if he isnt interested in this relationship then he needs to tell me and that the way it feels like he doesnt want this.
He hasnt replied.
He usually says of a morning "going to work now" but today he hasnt.
He would sometimes message on his break which today he hasnt.
How do I have patience while waiting for him to reply?
I dont want this relationship to be over but I have no idea what hes thinking.
Trying to give him space.
What can I do in this situation that isnt 'dump him'?
Smoke some pot, or get a hobbie, read a book until he's available , you must really learn how to focus on yourself when he's not there. Paint your nails and watch something funny.
Don't worry.
>>17134926
I really do appreciate this comment. I'll try to find a movie to watch. I dont know how I cant worry though.
Break up incoming. Brace yourself.
Hey /adv/, just wanted some advice. I'll give you a bit of background. Sorry if the story is long, just trying to give a good amount of detail.
> be me
> completely socially awkward, anxious and introverted 23 year old hippie chick.
> meet amazing guy online. 8/10 I'd say for looks, he's pretty goddamn hot in my mind. Personality 9/10. Pretty much fits the bill for what I want in a man.
> hit it off instantly.
> decide to meet.
> near instant sparks.
> despite personal limits, ends up getting physical faster than I usually prefer.
> don't even fucking care.
> friendship grows stronger the more we hang out.
> he hits me up almost daily. Sometimes just to see how I'm doing. Hang out with him at least 5 times a week.
> jump to today, about a year after we met. We're pretty much best friends. We know practically every single thing about each other.
> still confused about what we are. We have sex randomly, but we've never really discussed what we are. Partly because I'm scared to, partly I dunno how to ask without making him freeze up. It's something he does when he doesn't know what to do/say.
> long story short, I'm at his place right now, looking up from writing this to chit chat and grin at him whilst he plays WWE2K16.
Needless to say, what should I do? I know probably grow the ovaries to tell him I love him, but I'm not sure how to do it. Idk, also want to do something nice and romantic for him, but what the fuck do guys even think is romantic? Fuck, I know, I probably sound pathetic, but I'm not good at the romance thing. Literally the only guys I've ever been with made the first move. I dunno. Shit xS. If you can help me /adv/, that'd be cool.
So you're letting this dude slam his shit into your body, yet somehow you're still too insecure to ask him what you mean to him?
Holy shit, you'll have to excuse me. I think I have to go outside for a bit.
>>17134915
Jesus H. W. B. Christ, woman, just face him directly and ask him one of this:
>"Are we a friends, or are we more than that?"
>"Will/Would
you be my boyfriend?"
I doubt any guy would mind dating a girl he shares so much chemestry as you say you do.
>>17134928
Couldn't have said it better.
Find a qt. Persue. Get with them. Complications. Figure out complications. Have a stable relationship. Feel unhappy the entire time. Nothing in the heart when it matters, even though I know I have it good. Eventually break up. They see someone else. Heart starts working and feels like complete fucking hell. Get back together. Repeat.
Is this just what life is supposed to be like or what? I can't fucking deal.
>>17134879
Women don't make you happy; you make yourself happy.
Cliche but it's true. Don't look to others for your own satisfaction - your creator gave you life so you can satisfy yourself.
Also, wanting companionship is different than needing companionship. We don't "need" any single person or group of people, especially if those people bring us down. We do want to be open to companionship.
I think you need to find satisfaction in yourself and then be open to companionship.
>>17134891
Not OP but came to ask, how do you do this?
I agree with what you said. I mostly see friendship and relationships as a luxury and not a necessity but even then it isn't really a luxury I seek out. I have a few friends but I've not come across anyone I feel super close to or anyone I felt like really getting deep with. As far as my own satisfaction goes, I can't tell most of the time. I feel like I'm at a constant tug-of-war or neutral state when I self-reflect. I can't really get a grip on what I want or what defines me as a person. I've thought about it a lot and I'm kinda wondering if what defines you is others' view of you. Just any advice or input would be appreciated, might help OP too
>>17134891
I don't know if it's a want or a need.
I have no idea what I want to do with my life. People constantly tell me I'm amazing and a special person and all that shit because I have a lot of hobbies and talents but I'm just fucking mediocre at all of them and work hard.
I got tired of working an unskilled job, got a skilled trade, and am just as miserable. I create a lot of things and hate them all.
I genuinely love the people I've been with and do all I can for them, but I just end up unhappy and distant and not living up to what they see in me.
Should I text her to ask what've happened when she suddenly stopped texting me?
>>17134867
No.
But depends on time.
Don't be a bitch and whine though.
Play it cool OP.
Wow, way to explain the whole situation.
But I can already tell you that you should probably just leave it. There's not gonna be any situation that will be improved with you texting her asking "But whyyyyyy????" No matter what words you use, that's how it'll sound.
>>17134878
So how long should be okay? Or never?
So there is this Chinese grill at my university who's extremely qt (9/10), exactly my age (20), and is always EXTREMELY enthused when she talks/texts me. The thing is, she hadn't even COMMUNICATED with me in over a year, and she starts texting me out of the blue today, the first day of finals. I stopped initiating conversation when I found out she had a bf and was probably being a bit too flirty with me while in a relationship, possibly to use me, but that could have also just been my anxiety.
Anyway, she tells me she's going back to China for 3 months and needs someone to watch her 2 cats. My first instinct is "nigga what are you doing owning cats as an international student," but I digress. She said she'd pay for food and whatnot, but I said I don't have a car (true). Then she said she could send her cats over here instead. Now I fucking love kitties and I miss my cat who died at 17 in December greatly and could definitely do a catsit if the family is alright with it, but I seriously think she might either be using me, or she's desperate as fuck, or both.
The reason I think she's using me is because she got me to correct her English final last year, and then never contacted me again. Nothing ever came out of it. If I tell her I can't watch her cats then she might have to sell them or something and shatter what little friendship we have left.
What do I do? Also I have no idea how well-behaved her cats are or not.
>>17134851
> I seriously think she might either be using me
DING DING DING
first try op, nicely done
you gonna to get stuck with her cats but you aint gonna get no pussy nigga.
>>17134870
Well, no matter what, I said I can't have cats in my apartment anymore, and she said >That's fine :)
I am so unsure if she's being sincere or not. Maybe I'll just keep passive aggressively rejecting her if she keeps asking for things without putting out.
>>17134979
Yeah you're 1 step away from no more contact. But you need to eradicate this oneitis disease you've got going on. Do you know how many Chinese women there are in the world? I'm sure you can find another one if you really, really want to.
Once you stop sweating this very common opportunity to put your dick in pussy that doesn't mean anything, you'll see she's probably trying to use you to take care of her cats.
I see very few good ways to get out of this situation because if you gently push her to see if she's interested, she might tolerate it just to get you to take care of her cats. The only way to know for sure if she wants your D is to go big and go hard. It'll probably end in failure but realize this means it would have been a failure no matter what you did... and at least now you aren't stuck with cats.
A couple months ago I met this girl on FB after she messaged me about a post or some shit, anyway we really hit things off and we share alot of common interests and values, but I found out that she has a bf and it's a guy I used to know through college. I also found out that he's pretty much an asshole and doesn't really care to much about her (I guess that's why I came into the picture) but we've been very close lately and we've slept together (not sex) and spoon most nights, she playfully kisses me, we've sexted and she's been lately sending me signals that she wants to have sex
Her bf doesn't know about me and I'm in love with this girl and I think it's mutual, but should I have sex with her? I wouldn't want to be in his shoes but he kinda deserves it.
>>17134833
if she is cheating WITH you then eventually she is going to cheat ON you.
if she broke up with her guy THEN pursued you, well that's one thing but this is just going to turn into bullshit. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but almost certainly bullshit.
Don't fall in love. >>17134852 This anon is right.
Pic related. Read # 4
>>17134852
As much as I do "love" her I feel like that will happen and things will come full circle to kick my ass. I don't want to lose her as a friend but her being anything more is out of the question
