Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 554. page
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Anyone been in an abusive relationship? I have. I called the cops to get out. After his release he said everything any girl would want to hear. So, of course the stupid girl I am went running to him. That fucker even bought me a ring. Sooo here I am drunk and missing him. I blocked him from everything. Idk what advice you can give me, but I can't really tell friends and family I saw him the day after his release.
birth a retard and he'll never speak to you again
Hahahha OMG . Right now sadly I want him to talk to me
give birth to a retard and he'll come crawling back, much like the retard
Im gonna me this short and sweet
How do i overcome my social anxiety? Preferably without meds.
Alcohol
>>17228645
Afraid i can't do that.
Practice. Put yourself in social situations, force yourself to stay in them, and react to what happens.
Can you be more specific about what you want help with?
I really want to have a kid but my long term relationship (6 years) ended two months ago. I was really excited to have a lil girl or boy but now that has been thrown to the wind.
At the same time, I am torn as to whether or not bringing a child into this world is a good idea. I think it's time to forget about it and move on.
How can I turn off this desire to be a father? I know it's easy for some people by thinking about how much freedom you get or how much money you save, but I genuinely would like a kid to raise. This dream needs to die for the time being anyway.
>>17228619
I'm not sure.
Man who has desire to be a father > man who does not
>>17228619
Just wait for the right girl, anon. You will know when. Unless you're like 50, you've got some time.
>How can I turn off this desire to be a father?
Spend a couple of weeks taking care of a newborn 24/7
He's 28, graduated college, has his life together, but he sometimes has a shitty tone and tends to be a know-it-all. I get that, I can deal with that.
The problem is, I'm only 20. I don't have a job and haven't started college yet. I don't have the money to pay the $145 enrollment fee and I can't afford cigarettes every day.
I'm afraid it's ruining us on my end because I can't take him out, I can't buy him anything, I can't even buy myself anything. I feel like I have nothing I can offer him in the relationship because I'm still immature, trying to grow, and trying to figure out what I want in life.
We've been talking since February, dating since early-mid May. I think I love him. But I'm terrified of saying it to him because I don't think he'd say it back and I think I'd scare him away.
We have lots of common interests, but that's not enough. How does one have a mature relationship? What are the components of one? How am I supposed to talk about our arguments and know what to do as an adult woman if I never know what to say or how to act?
I'm used to the tickle fights in relationships. I'm used to laughing and watching youtube videos of gamegrumps and vinesauce. I'm used to playing vidya together. But all of these things don't interest him. Am I wrong to date this guy? Am I too immature for him? What the fuck am I even doing, yo.
>I want all the things that another 20 year old guy would have.
All your insecurities seem to come from your age gap. I'd suggest talking to him openly about what you're worried about. You might not get any answers from him, but it's a start.
A piece of unsolicited advice: Experience doesn't mean anything. You'll learn, in time, that nobody really knows what they're doing. Just because your husband is doing something doesn't mean that's what you need to be copying in your life in order to be "mature."
FYI my wife and I are 30 and we love to watch Vinny and old Game Grumps. Find someone who can grow up with you.
>>17228571
He sounds like a standard guy his age.
Depending on his history with women, he may or may not just be wanting somebody to be there for him emotionally. Having a girlfriend who's employed and independent is nice, but I personally wouldn't put that in front of having somebody who is there for me, respects me, cares about me. Especially if the independent woman is cold, distant and uncaring in comparison. But that's me, and not him.
>We have lots of common interests, but that's not enough.
>I'm used to the tickle fights in relationships. I'm used to laughing and watching youtube videos of gamegrumps and vinesauce. I'm used to playing vidya together. But all of these things don't interest him.
Well you said you had a lot of interests earlier, so go with those. Typically you will not find a person who has absolutely everything in common with you. The issue could be him not wanting to explore things that you enjoy, and if that's something that turns you off too much you might have to leave. But bear in mind nobody is perfect, it's just deciding what you can handle and what you can't.
>>17228589
These are great points.
I think I'm comparing this relationship with my last one (3 years long) too much. Last relationship died out because I was a shithead and the love fizzled out due to my fuck ups.
The relationship was awesome. But he wasn't as into me as I wanted.
>>17228596
Also wonderful points. I understand I can't have someone who's _everything_ I want, I just feel like when I watch gamegrumps, he has too much to say about how it's childish and I'm rotting my brain because I don't watch documentaries and NPR every day.
I'm still trying to grow every day. I feel so stupid sometimes though because he seems to know all this stuff that's "basic knowledge", and I'm just a clueless idiot. I'm there for him emotionally, he just doesn't trust me enough to lean on me for support, I think.
Throughout my day, I will mutter random shit that is discerning for me and anyone that hears it. I'll randomly blurt out quietly "I'm want to kill myself", "I'm gonna jump off a bridge" or "fuck you", etc, (those ones I say a lot".
It's just random and I don't really try to do it, it just kind of comes out sometimes, and it makes me feel really autistic or something.
Should I be checked for Tourette's or something or maybe I'm just weird?
You want attention but don't realize it yet.
Saying those would make others around you ask you if you were okay, satisfying your urge for human interaction.
I do that too,
Nobody has give me weird looks or anything so I guess it's too quiet to be noticeable
>>17228577
It doesn't really happen all that often around people though. Maybe 30% of the time (still too much), but most of the time it happens when I'm home alone.
That would make sense to an extent though, I don't interact with people much.
I moved to a new town and met this girl, we've been hanging-out/having sex, but she just broke a long term, so she told me she didn't want to make it serious rn.
So I've been playing it chill, given her space.
The thing is she has been in trouble lately, her car got stolen, other day she lost her phone, and today she put on fb "that she was hving a pretty bad day and the world is against her lately"
I don't know if I should play it cool ignore it, or write her and talk to her about it, maybe offer some help.
Share some advpls
What do you mean when you say hanging out? Are you guys just FWB or do you actually have a friendship/pseudo-relationship? Regardless of what else you do there's no reason not to treat her at least as kindly as you would a coworker. Imagine if one had this same shit happen to them, what would you do?
Never rescue a damsel in distress. It's only a matter of time before she needs to be rescued from you.
So I've been in a relationship for 4 months. I met the guy through work and at first it was GREAT. He was incredibly kind and I have never connected with someone so well. He showered me with appreciation, he would text me out of the blue telling me how lucky was to have me and how beautiful am I. Things were REALLY going great and I was just happy to chill with him.
Then his ex came in the picture. Now his ex did him dirty. She was a toxic person who cheated on him for her ex.
Lately he's become super distant. I get one word responses back if I'm lucky. While we're hanging out he'll be texting her and I SEE that it's long in depth messages. He has hung out with her a bit recently and just told me (he had been lying at first)
Every time I try to bring up that I'm unhappy with him he tries to turn it around and say that I'm just going to leave him like the rest. I'm PISSED.
>>17228528
I'm sorry for acting all autist here but:
YOU are suspicious. He is suspect.
>leave him like the rest.
Maybe he keeps getting dumped because he's a shitty person. I'm an unapologetic cheater and even I think he's being a cunt. If he wants to fuck around with his ex, he should do it on his own time and not stare at his phone while he's hanging out with you.
When you leave him, don't bring yourself down to his level. Don't spread the word at work that you left him because he wouldn't stop texting and hanging out with his ex-girlfriend. Just say you had your differences and leave it at that.
>>17228528
Well if hes going to be all victim mode maybe you should leave him. Your relationship is not fun for both of you anymore.
Of course try to talk with him about the problem first and try to resolve it. If that doesnt work out i think it might be time to go
Gonna be starting a band soon, will be the only guitarist there. We have no vocalist, and I might be the lead vocals as well.
1. How do I improve my singing? I don't feel like it's bad, I think it's around average/a bit above average, but I sound like shit compared to Alex Turner, Thom Yorke, Dave Grohl, or Matthew Bellamy. How do I improve my voice to be really good?
2. How do I think of lyrics? All of the lyrics I think of are either 3edgy5me or too melodramatic for an Ed Sheeran song. Is it necessary to get knocked up to think of non-shitty and good lyrics?
Thanks faggots.
>I sound like shit compared to... Thom Yorke
You've set the bar pretty low for yourself. Practice crying into the mic and add some echo to it.
>>17228524
lmao nice1 i kekd
>1. How do I improve my singing? I don't feel like it's bad, I think it's around average/a bit above average, but I sound like shit compared to Alex Turner, Thom Yorke, Dave Grohl, or Matthew Bellamy. How do I improve my voice to be really good?
The same way anyone else does, find some way of learning. I can't contain the amount of knowledge you would need to learn in this post. Find a teacher, or watch some videos online, something like that. Practice a lot. Recognize that your voice is an instrument as well, and should have some melody that's reasonably distinct from the rest of the instrumentation. That means rhythmically just as much as it means melodically. Also, if you're gonna have idols, have better ones.
>2. How do I think of lyrics? All of the lyrics I think of are either 3edgy5me or too melodramatic for an Ed Sheeran song. Is it necessary to get knocked up to think of non-shitty and good lyrics?
A good way to start is to maintain an objective tone. Rather than just having a three minute political rant with guitars over it, go into detail about a setting that shows some problem or larger societal issue you see. And rather jerking off about your sadness and depression, describe some situation that may make one depressed/uncomfortable. Lou Reed was a shitty singer for the most part, but if there was one thing he was good at it was lyrics. Heroin for example doesn't mention sadness at all, and it's not even told from the perspective of the singer, but at the same time it's incredibly somber. If you want to go beyond that into sung poetry, start reading a shitton.
Who were is obsessed with work? All my friends are gone for summer and I just kind of realized I have no ohbbies. Usually when I wasnt working I'd hang out with them. Now that they're gone for three months I don't know what to do when I'm not at work. I love my job, its gone to the point where I sign up for over time on my days off simply to keep me from getting bored because I don't know what else to do. Anyone else have this problem?
There's not really a problem, you're getting paid to do something you enjoy, you're living most people's dream tbqh
I like my job, but I also have more video games than I could play even if I was unemployed.
What do you do for a living, OP? Tell us in detail about some of your work.
>>17228483
Maybe, but everyone needs a hobby outside work, I don't think it's healthy to only work. I play vidya occasionally but it gets boring. Don't really know what else to do.
>We talk almost daily for a year
>We are very loving and open. Everything feels amazing.
>Now whenever we talk on skype or phone she awkwardly leaves with "be right back" or "gotta go."
>She dominates the conversation with stories of her friends.
>She randomly told me she gets jealous when others talk to me.
>She has to tell me when people compliment her, yet I tell her how beautiful she is.
What's going on? Why do I feel so cold when we talk? I love my girlfriend and I just don't get why she's been acting so distant and cold with me. Yet she tells me she adores me... I'm confused. What do?
Suck a dick black fat cock and then jump off a building or roof................................
Honestly I've had a situation like this with a LDR.
>Now whenever we talk on skype or phone she awkwardly leaves with "be right back" or "gotta go."
I usually got this when she would go and "talk" to someone else. She would go talk to this one dude. I was naive and thought they were just on friendly terms. A month later, I'm single and she's with him.
>She dominates the conversation with stories of her friends.
This seems like a lack of respect. Are you too nice? Do you apologize a lot? Etc.
>She randomly told me she gets jealous when others talk to me.
>She has to tell me when people compliment her, yet I tell her how beautiful she is.
She wants her cake and to eat it too. She tells you people compliment her to make you jealous. As for the you calling her beautiful thing I'm not sure. Maybe it goes back to respect and she doesn't feel it's genuine.
>>17228461
Yeah I don't get the random "brb" messages and never coming back until the next day...
Nah, I don't apologize. I just kinda listen and attempt to make conversation while she goes off about life.
I get it, I mean she lacks confidence. We were very flirtatious with each other and she just doesn't respond to it anymore. I asked her a few weeks ago if we'd move in together after school and she simply said "I don't know." which is odd because she went off about wanting me to live with her before... I feel like she's holding back and I want to move foreword with the relationship.
This is a somewhat made-up question, but i guess i really fucked up.
I behaved like shit towards a good person, because i was a dumb fuck.
Then i googled some stuff and it seems she has Marfan syndrome.
Abnormally high, long finders, frail health, scoliosis, speech deficits, used to complain about pains in her body.
Also she is an only child from a family of musicians.
Am I being dramatic wikipedia-reader or is it highly probable?
She is 19 and despite being social is depressed and stays at home am i overthinking anything?
I don't know if i should apologise or never bother them again to hurt more.
She has loving supportive family and parents, so it's not family issues.
Marfan syndrome has life expectancy of 30-40 years and it would be horrible if such a nice person have had this terrible fate.
Any medfags here?
I've been texting this girl like every day for about 3 weeks now. We can't meet up because she lives about 4 hours away, but she comes down here for family a couple times a month.
Anyways, she will send me long ass texts, and I respond in kind, but there's usually a while between exchanges (2-8 hrs usually). No big deal, the conversations are fruitful.
Lately though, she's doing shit like "Hey sorry I was at work!" and I'll respond nbd or whatever, but she will then disappear for another 3-4 hours without even responding to what I said before she got out of work (which is usually a bunch of responses to questions she asked in the first place.)
What I'm getting at is, what am I to this girl if she keeps waiting like 10 million years to respond, but she still puts effort in her messages? It seems like she flakes out all the time and just responds whenever the hell she feels like and it's starting to upset me / piss me off to be honest.
>>17228334
She's not into you.
You're a good texting buddy, and she probably likes venting to you. But now that she either has some other guy in her life, or got bored of talking to you, she's done with it and doesn't care if you text her or not.
Just move on and be more quick with your responses. There's no reason to be upset at all. That's how you lose out.
>>17228394
would it be overboard to ask where it's going
she does eventually respond to everything I ask it's just she takes a while. and from what I understand, she is legit busy a lot.. but still. Will I just be shooting myself in the foot if she does actually have interest in me?
>>17228407
From experience, I'm going to say it's pretty unlikely that she's into you.
And if she lives so far away now that you can't see her, what makes you think anything would change of you were a thing?
I suggest cutting it off completely, because it's likely to cause you nothing but more frustration in the future. Keep it going if you want, but don't place all of her emotions in one basket.
Asking her where its going is a good way to burn it to the ground, or will at least give you the opportunity to do so.
Focus on the people around you, not someone so far away.
I want to purge myself of faggotry, but don't know how. I had this disorder since 5 when I used to cross-dress in my mother's old clothing and sometimes pretend I had a boyfriend.
Years go by the feelings get more pronounced, I fell for the tranny meme and now it's even worse. Psychologists don't help, instead they say:"be yourself anon." Fuck that, I want to be normal.
Get rid of your computer.
most of the people on this board probably haven't gone through what you're describing, so most of the advice you're gonna get is gonna chalk up to >>17228342 . other than that, I can't really help you. the fact that you feel the need to make this thread tells me that these feelings are fairly persistent & that you've tried getting rid of them to no avail. how can a bunch of plebs on an anonymous anime board help you with something like that?
Why?
Hey /adv/
22, only had one 'girlfriend', and our relationship was kind of from the start a mix of man to woman and strong friendship.
I was really confident when I met her, but my overall lack of confidence and childish personnality cut down all the sexual tension between us.
Now, we are friends.
She is fucking another guy.
And I can't seem to swallow that we don't have sex anymore, we don't kiss or hug, and there's no relationship vibe anymore..
I love her, I like being with her, but I feel like I have lost my penis, and she wore the pants. Now we're friends, she's sleeping behind me right now, and I know she's fucking another guy, she told me, she's never lied to me, and she's the person (except my family) who cares about me most.
She's always tried to help me become better, she's been really sweet towards me, and I feel like I have neglected our relationship and her, and that she kind of resented me inside for it. I carried a lot of insecurities regarding sex, thus I never fucked the shit out of her with proud and confidence, I think my way of making love has been clingy and really soft compared to the range of things I would like it to go to.
Anyway. Thoughts on this ?
am feeling jealous of the fact that she's fucking another guy, and I feel ashamed and I pity myself for the situation I'm in right now.
I need to stop letting my insecurities dictate my life and to build up my masculine vibe. I don't know how to handle this jealousy.
I never seem to push towards the goals I set myself, I always self sabotage and make excuses and then blame myself for it and keep doing it.
I feel like a child.
Wat do ?
You definitely are a cuck
You either need to just randomly grab her and fuck the shit out of her, or tell her very clearly that you can't be her friend. Sorry bro, you'll continue to feel like shit if you don't and eventually explode anyway.
>>17228337
I think I wouldn't have minded that she had sex with other guys if we had sex ourselves, but the fact that now we don't and she does is hard.. but I think I could overcome it. I could be her friend if I had other girls with whom I could enjoy a sexual relationship. And if I could pick among lots of girls, moreover. but I haven't brought myself to the mindset of doing so.
She knows I'd never be 'just friends' with her.. but I still want to make that kind of friendship work. Though I do feel kind of wrong doing that, because it hurts my ego, but I feel good doing it, because if I can make peace with this situation I'd be so happy. I feel like I would have ended a kind of karmic cycle in which I am stuck and understood a profound lesson.
Am I crazy ?
The first poster is kind of right, but as far as nuances go the advice needs to be weaved in finer cloth.
You should just wake her up and throw yourself at her, but you won't, and if you tried you wouldn't be ready.
You need to get ready. Not with her, at least not until you've learnt to pull your socks up. You say you blame yourself, and so you should. The good news is that this will become incredibly powerful once you get it: The power and control over your predicament lies with you, my friend.
You didn't fuck her the way she needs to be fucked, it's as simple as that. And the way you act around her, or any other woman, subconsciously informs them that you won't be able to. The devil is in the details, and the key word is 'act'. Even with naturally confident guys it's still an act. The struggle will be larger for guys like you and me, but having it come natural comes with a cost that you will avoid, and that's the frustration that comes with rejection for guys who aren't used to it. When you get rejected you can take it inwardly, and there you have the opportunity to let go of it more harmoniously.
You must go in a journey of discovering your inner stage performer. Fake it til you make it. It will show results. Most guys you spot out in the dating game knows this. I was petrified before I walked up to the stunning blonde at the club last Friday, but I got her number in less than ten minutes. Start working today, and one day you'll be like me.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Hey /adv/, I decided to try a no fap challenge for the entirety of the summer.
>inb4 jerking it is good for u tho
I figure I'll be lifting quite a bit as well as working so that should help. My question is what other beneficial distractions should I take up to make this easier? Any other advice on how to succeed is appreciated too.
Have fun with that. I' don't know about you but I'm like a fucking animal after I lift for a few weeks. Literally want to fuck everything sexy that moves.
Anyways being helpful- find busy hobbies. Something with your hands etc. Fuck even knitting would be better than nothing.
Give yourself goals and rewards. Like good rewards that make no spanking worth it.
>>17228318
Find an online course for something you've always wanted to learn and go sit somewhere public, like a café. It'll be a nice distraction, you'll be in a spot where you can't masturbate, and by the end of the challenge, you'll have learned a new skill.
Just do any activities that avoid sexual arrousal.
If you play games, don't play weeby fanservice games. If you watch movies and TV shows, avoid ones with softcore sex and skimpy teenagers. Avoid college sports. When browsing the web, avoid porn sites and on here, stay on the sfw boards that are not co, a, v, tv, and sp.
