Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 521. page
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A greasy obesey from school has a crush on me. How do I turn her down gently?
>>17239752
Just be gentle and say you can't return her feelings or whatever sounds soft. Just don't make it too awkward, you could maybe have her as a friend later.
>>17239752
>that gif
I am dying.
>>17239899
Yeah really wtf.
why do some girls fucking talk like this
like what the fuck am I supposed to say
christ so annoying
>>17239749
If her texts annoy you that much why not call instead?
>>17239749
What exactly about this is triggering you?
There's nothing ambiguous about this. Want specific answers ask less general questions. Fucking care about what she has to say or screw texting her.
So i have a long distance relationship right now with a girl that I love. And I'm going to hang out with a girl tomorrow to smoke with and chill. She wants to be my first
>Virgin on 4chan what a surprise right
So I'm seriously considering it bc gf and I won't be together for at least a year and I feel like when gf and i actually get together I'll be really guilty knowing that she isn't my first.
I just want some sort of release but Im wondering if anyone else here has been in my position. So what do?
Why does the Autism meter start at -20 and end at +3? Why is +3 bad? Is that like 3x regular Autism? Is it super Autism?
>>17239712
Don't do it. If you want release that badly, break up with her. It sounds ridiculous, but it's just about your priorities right now. There's not really any right or wrong priorities to have. If you want to get laid and you want that more than the relationship with your gf, dump her. If the relationship means more to you than losing your v card soon, keep her around and resist temptation. Again, there's no right answer to choose. It's just about what you find more important
>>17239724
Lol I should've cut out that first sentence, but I feel like if you're going to feel guilty if you actually do this and then get with your girlfriend, it'd be better to break up with her right off the bat
Starting university in a few months. I need some survival tips on how to succeed socially and academically. Are these years at uni going to be better than my high school years?
>Are these years at uni going to be better than my high school years?
Only if you decide to take advantage of it.
It's a full reset. Everybody is on equal footing. No popular kids from your school have anybody there except maybe a handful of people that happen to be going to the same school.
LIVE IN THE DORMS YOUR FIRST YEAR OR TWO. This is where you meet everybody and where you will have the most fun. The first year of college is an absolute fucking joke so don't fret about it getting in the way of your studies.
BE FRIENDLY. SAY YES TO ALL INVITATIONS. I don't give a shit if you get invited to a disney midnight viewing party. You god damn go. This is where a lot of idiotic man-children go and finally have independence, but these are also the same sort of "HA HA HOW CHILDISH AREN'T WE SO SILLY BEING ADULTS AND STILL LIKING THIS XDDDD" bullshit that all the hot freshmen girls go to.
Again, nobody knows who you are. Fresh slate. Total chance to be whoever you want to be without any interference. Run with it.
>>17239702
Talk to people the first day. There sooner the better.ions.
If you want to work efficiently, get the exams from the previous years as soon as you can and learn precisely what you'll need to answer the questions
>>17239702
>I need some survival tips on how to succeed socially and academically.
Sure thing, senpai
>Join a party frat,
>find a drunk girl and get her even more drunk,
>wait until she passes out then start fingering her
>????
>Profit
On a serious note though, don't be an awkward autistic fuck and just concentrate in your studies.
There has to be some visible factors that show interest. It can't just be a guessing game.
>>17239689
Noone will spoon-feed you with their feelings. You either see it or don't.
If you still haven't got a clue read about body language first. It's a very interesting subject that could apply in any situation when you interact with people.
Also read pick up books, at some point they will describe when a girl shows interest in you, etc.
>>17239689
>How to tell if someone's interested in you
You dont.
>>17239689
You ask them out.
You either have a good time, realise you like each other and start dating.
Or you don't, have a nice time, and then go your separate ways.
This isn't complicated unless you're under 16 years old. What the fuck is wrong with this board
Hi /adv/ I'm an idiot.
I stuck a ping pong ball in my ass and I can't seem to get it out. I've accepted that I need to go to an ER but I'm willing to try anything to bypass that.
I'm tried lubing and reaching in to no avail and I've tried squatting and pushing. I just took a max dose of milk of magnesium in the hope it will push the ball out, but I want to know if I'm basically fucked already.
You'll shit it out eventually
Just go sit on the toilet...
It should just plop right out and don't clench your ass.
Hello /adv/, I'm currently 18 and about to exit high school, however for reasons I'm going to wait a whole semester before going to college. So I'm going to be free for a couple of months.
The thing is that mid highschool I switched to other one, and because of that I was never really able to form super close bonds with the people there, add to the fact that I'm not good keeping contact with people and now I feel like the next 6 months of my life are going to be pretty lonely. It's not much but I don't know if I can actually stand 6 months of not talking to anyone but my family.
So a friend of mine has a couple of friends he meet online, from other states or from other countries, and since it's a first for myself I was wondering if I could try it out, but I have some questions
Should I search people that speak the same language as me? Or is it okay if I search in others? I ask this because english is not my native toungue
Where is a good place to start?
Should I use emojis? Or is it okay if I let them out? How do I make myself more 'expressive' through text?
Will people eventually ask for a picture of me? I am in somewhat bad shape (which is something I will work this semester) and I'm not very confident about it, what if they don't want to talk to me after it?
Is revealing my interests okay? I into drawing, video games, animation, etc also I bunch of other stuff that's the main thing.
Thanks in advance /adv/
Bump
Come on /adv/, I know you can help me with this
>>17239397
fuck online and get your ass to the gym. you meet a lot of people there. i meet a few people from the gym i go to. great to socialize with
>>17239628
I'm 18, anon. I will be going to the gym in the mornings. Who do you expect me to meet there?
Continuation of >>>17224909
Ask a guy who has had sex with a different girl every night for a week anything.
>>17239384
Please stop attention whoring? No one gives a shit.
>>17239384
dude sex lmao
How's the family reunion going?
Anyone have experience with retail departments? I just got "fired" – I've been moved from working at Starbucks in Safeway to Safeway's bakery department. So, not only am I in the back, where next to no people go, but I lose out on tips on top of pay above minimum wage.
Here's the thing: my performance has been shit. I know that and fully agree with it. The work itself isn't hard, but between family dying half a week ago and having to still focus on classes, my ability to recall the specific recipes has been lackluster, just as I've made from really boneheaded mistakes.
I'm grateful that I was still offered an alternative, but less so about how it was given. I decided that I needed to get serious and spent pretty much all of yesterday and this morning studying every single recipe. I made this case to my boss, acknowledging my mistakes and offering to be all sorted out by the start of the next week (but I didn't mention the specifics of what was going on). He clearly didn't give a shit, though. I can't tell if this was purposeful or not, but he stated, in no uncertain terms, that I either move or get properly fired, all while making me feel like a dipshit. I haven't even been given the full training period to prove myself, and there have been cases where I've excelled far past the workers with seniority. I really liked this job, beyond the pay.
Is there anything I can do? Since I'll still be working one last time at Starbucks tomorrow morning, I'm just going to do everything I can to leave a good impression. Starbucks is also the only department with its own sub-manager. Should I talk to her during my break, asking how I screwed up so badly that I've been prematurely axed? Would it be wise to ask if I can reapply if another position opens later?
I'm confident that I can do this job and exceed the job requirements. I'm just pissed – mostly with myself – that I haven't been given the fully-promised time to prove myself just as I'm getting my head straight.
>>17239332
Safeway still exists?
Someone in your family died three days ago and you didn't tell your boss? I'm sorry for your loss, man, but not telling your boss was a big mistake.
Had to walk away and didn't even get to see how long my opening post was. Here's a tl;dr that's probably better than what I originally wrote:
>Start new job at the Starbucks in Safeway two weeks ago
>First week is just training, but on that Friday, I'm allowed to work the register
>Start of next week is when I get to start making drinks
>This coincides with death in the family; none of the drinks are hard to make or involve complex steps, but I'm having a hell of a time keeping everything straight and recalling specific steps
>Make boneheaded mistakes from not paying attention, too, like throwing out entire drinks when I mess up, when they could be fixed with small tweaks
>Spend most of yesterday and parts of today studying drink book, taking extensive notes. I know I need to stop screwing around and up.
>Get called into Safeway office today
>Boss is terrible at letting people down gently; even though it was likely accidental, he basically says that I'm either moving or leaving while throwing tons of subtext of how I'm incompetent
>Doesn't care even after I plead my case, after I say I'm aware of my lackluster efforts and that I'm committed to turning things around
>Really like job and am certain that I can excel at it
>At this point, because I'm part time, I had only worked five partial days of being able to make drinks, while taking everything else in.
>>17239486
No, the start of last week, but I guess you're right. Do you think it's too late to mention it now, or should I just take my lumps?
I see people, including one of my friends, saying they get blowjobs from female acquaintances like it's nothing. I know it's considered very casual now, but I can't understand how exactly one broaches the subject. How exactly do you go from talking to blowjob? Do you just fucking ask straight up?
I'm confused.
>>17239326
Make out a little and then stick your dick in her mouth
>>17239326
>Do you just fucking ask straight up?
No.
Does no one have a solution?
So i've been a console gamer for years and I think it's time for an upgrade, Can you guys recommend a good pc for me?, ( I mainly want to try out arma 3, s.t.a.l.k.e.r, fallout, DayZ) maximum price $1500, Would appreciate the help.
Self bump.
>>17239278
Go on a pc building site, I recommend intel i7 and Nvidia 800-900, 12 GB of RAM, and the essentials of a PC.
>>17239278
Go to https://pcpartpicker.com/
Help me cope /adv/ its been 3 months since I last talked to my ex, we were together for 3 years before she decided to leave me for someone else. She's happier than she's ever been judging by her photos on Instagram. I know that I don't even cross her mind anymore. She was my first girlfriend, and I was hoping my last. She picked me up when I was a sophomore in high school, I was all alone, no friends, suicidal, all that good stuff. Now high schools over, and I'm all alone, I didn't make any friends in school, and no one gives a shit about me. I need someone in my life. I can't be alone any more. Every day is a struggle not to blow my brains out. I've had depression since I was in 5th grade, and now I don't have anyone to help me keep going. I just can't anymore, no one would even care if I was gone. How can I find more people who actually give a shit about me?
>>17239251
Also, I don't have a family that would teach me how to drive or buy me a car, so "just going out" is extremely limited
>>17239251
Hey anon.First off keep in mind the possibility that she may be posting those Instagram pics,knowing you will look at them do she can make it look like she's getting on fine without you.Second,how were you before you met her?Were you able to get on okay on your own?Also it sounds like you may have needed her more than she you,happens a lot.If you feel that you need a relationship to be happy,that means you aren't happy in yourself.You need to work on yourself before you go into another relationship.Do you get much of a chance to socialise?Work?Clubs?
>>17239251
Get help for yourself. Being someone's "savior" is a recipe for disaster. It gets old quick. You have to fix you for you, no one else can do it and no one else can motivate you to. Become someone people want to be around, to do that you have to deal with your mental health. Bad metal health is the opposite of sexy, but it can easily be dealt with. It'll probably hurt but it'll be better in the long run.
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
My boyfriend is a very nice guy; we play video games together and it's usually a lot of fun. Very randomly though, in a competitive/versus environment(primarily first person shooters), he will get upset when I beat him. REALLY upset and competitive to the point where he will go silent and pout until he kills me. Then when he does, he shit talks, says very mean stereotypical gamer things. He also constantly looks at my stats. Right now I have higher eliminations that him in Overwatch and it's driving him insane trying to beat it. I just want to have fun, should I let him win?
>>17239229
He sounds like a bitch. It's just a fucking game. But yea, if it really upsets him that much, you should let him.
Girls, do you get asked out a lot on the days preceding Valentine's Day? What do you think about this? Does it make the guy seem opportunistic?
Fellow guys, does this ever work?
Sunday will be a Valentine's Day equivalent in my country.
Was getting my hair cut earlier, guy did good job, same old same old blah blah
>go to pay
>the girl that works the pay part is talking to me
>acting really nice
>wanting to know how tall I am
>saying I look so good
>putting her arm around my shoulder
>basically acting like shes into me
It was nice but I was super cautious because I was in a business and given how cynical I am I knew there was a reasonable chance she was just trying to get a good tip for her co worker
At the same time I've been getting /fit/ lately and been getting /fa/shionable and generally learning how to not act like an autismal spazz so its ////possible//// she was legitimately into me
Either way I went home and that was that
So what happened?
Also I don't know if this is relevant or not but lately people in general have been acting cooler towards me, smiling, laughing, guys are giving me tips in the gym, and girls seem to have 0 trouble with helping me figure out the exact form for gym equipment
>inb4 OP is just asking them for help as an excuse to talk
No this one gym dude told me how important form is so now I am making sure I do it right for all gym gear and since everyone says to treat girls not like mythical beings but just like normal people it just so happens that there would be a girl next to X piece of equipment so I just asked her "hey can you help me out real quick? can you tell me if I'm doing this right?"
etc
Well anyways they have no problem helping and they even have 0 issue with their arms and hands touching me while showing me what to do
Cant tell if its intentional on their end or if they simply don't mind it but either way that's a good sign because even if they simply don't mind it means they don't feel repulsed by me at all
>gif possibly related to all of this
>>17239159
It seems you are reaching the alpha male level. Just keep getting fit bro, shit happens when you're confident and in shape.
the girls rarely compliment me after I get muh hair cut.
>tfw you only get fake compliments
Maybe I'm just lonely, or need company. I'm not sure. But I'm scared /adv/.
I don't have a job, I have a shitty luck and skills with girls, and for the past two weeks I've been a NEET. I've gone out a couple of times with a couple of friends. But that's it. Aside from that, I've been locked in my room, playing dark souls. I've been trying to keep a constant visit to my local gym, going 4 times a week for an hour a day. And it helps, but I can't stop feeling depressed. And alone.
Is there some website where I can actually make friends and interact with other hermits like me?
Does this solve anything? I'm a Shitty student, and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of turning out into a failure.
>>17239014
Games!
Pick up MMOs or something and join a good guild. They are all nerds who don't want to leave their computers but at the same time are not quite as scary or mentally-ill as the type of people you would meet on 4chan.
>>17239021
I'm a console fag
>Xboner
Any MMOs you'd recommend?
>>17239014
>two weeks I've been a NEET
ONLy two weeks l o l
![male_female_night[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/BLDAXGh.jpg "male female night[1]")
