Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 523. page
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I was away from home for 7 months (4 months training 3 months at sea) until about a month ago. My cunt ex started fucking other dudes while I was away so I've been on my own since I came home. I have friends, hobbies, and interests. But I have so much free time now that I'm home and no one intimate to spend it with I feel nothing most of the time. What the fuck is wrong with me I swear my life didn't use to be like this.
>>17239537
Military?
>>17239588
No. The training program was paramilitary but I work for the seafarers international union.
Does it make a difference?
>>17239598
Actually, it would. If you were gone for the army/military/etc, then you wouldn't be deserving of sympathy since you shouldn't have selfishly abandoned the people you cared about to partake in an immoral career path.
However, that doesn't apply to you. We all have times where we feel like that. The fact that your ex cheated on you has probably effected you in a way you don't consciously realize. The symptoms you describe are that of depression, but it can go away. Try doing new things, try hobbies that you used to enjoy. Realize that your ex isn't worth caring about, and you should not consider it human, as it lacks the morality to stay with someone even if they're temporarily away.
I don't know what I am doing with my education/life. I am in my third year of university and I have yet to do any of my major courses(applied mathematics: applied+computational). I hate math. I only chose it because I figured I would change it later as I grew up and learned about myself. The only thing I've learned about myself is that I cannot pay any attention to detail(bad with numbers) and that I do not care about my career as long as I get paid decently. I wasn't very wealthy growing up so I do not care much for material things, vacations, etc. I am content so long as I can have a roof over my head and three meals a day. I just want to work, give my money to my parents, consume, and then die. I don't plan on marrying either.
I have to choose classes for next semester soon and the only thing left for me to do is major course work. Frankly, I do not know what my current degree is even for. The info on my school site say it is for those interested in research. I have none at all. I have to change majors this semester or I'm locked into it. What should I do anons? I did some research and it looks like business/accounting seem like good options?
>>17239460
>I just want to work, give my money to my parents, consume, and then die.
Is that genuinely true, or is that the path you've decided for yourself in absence of knowing any alternatives you like?
>>17239577
Probably the latter. I've done a bit of experimenting with any and everything that interests me in the passed 3 years of uni. Working with people is annoying. Writing/video/music editing/composing isn't fun. I'm bad with numbers. Programming is a pain in the ass.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm a wet blanket who isn't content with anything. If that is the case then it doesn't matter what I do so long as it works.
>>17239460
May I suggest you take a look at jobs in the skilled trades?
Not everyone needs to go for a 4 year degree to make some serious money.
I don't know what to do. Growing up, I wanted to join the military really badly. I would alternate between military branches and other things, but military kept coming back. In 12 grade, I started getting into finances after watching wolf of wall street. I started investing with a custodial account and got tired of gaining no ground(was only investing about 1000) I got bored, closed account, and switched back to wanting to join military. I decided I wanted to do National Guard and ROTC at the same time(common program). So fast forward today was New Student Orientation, I got so close to talking to the Army ROTC guy, but chickened out. Instantly changed my mind. What should I do????!!!!!!
Good thing you didn't cause you'd just be a janitor for 2 years and you sound like a bitch so the bullying probably would have given you ptsd like every other nerd that joined
>>17239448
If you can't handle talking to a recruiter you won't make it through basic. Quit being a bitch and call the recruiting office.
>>17239454
>>17239458
I'm not scared to join the Army or talk to them..just scared I will regret my decision.
How do you tell the difference between jailhouse faggotry and legit interest in men ?
And if I am a jail house fag what should I do about it ?
It's not that hard but since you're ASKING the question you're probably a fag.
>>17239457
>it's not hard
How do you know though , you didn't explain it to me .
Is there like a test I can take ?
>>17239472
Man, what difference does it make?
Whether you sucked a dick cos you had no other option or cos you liked, at the end of the day, you sucked a dick.
Hello I'm a 24-year-old-female anon and I'm in a 2 year LDR with someone who lives on the other side of the USA. (2,000+ mile difference). I just have some bad thoughts I want to write about. Maybe you guys can give a fresh pair of eyes on the situation.
We've never met. I'm a virgin. He's a virgin. I'm the first girlfriend he's had, but, he isn't my first boyfriend. I had 3 in real life ones: they were all during high school. All used me in some way. None loved me. It was all just dumb high school shit. My first boyfriend ever actually raped me (it took me many years to realize it, and after asking many people's opinion, and by that time I had already gotten over it). He made me do oral sex on him and I repeatedly told him no (as I had been saying for several days prior) but he still forced it into my mouth.
So the point is, I've never had a boy love me before. I've never been held gently. I've never been cuddled. I don't get hugged by anyone. Unfortunately I am extremely cuddly, touchy, and affectionate, and having a LDR relationship makes that even more difficult.
So my boyfriend is on a vacation, and even though he's been keeping me updated on all the cool stuff he's doing, I haven't felt farther from him in a long time. Every day I come home, I think, I'm still alone. I have urges to break up. From time to time I think of past crushes and cuddling them. I have a past of trying to "escape" from my boyfriend because I felt so unsatisfied/unhappy. In fact I have even emotionally cheated on my boyfriend: on a few occasions I hung out alone with crushes and I actually got hugged and that was the extent of it. Physically it wasn't cheating but emotionally it was.
It's bad to think like that when everything is practically going excellent in my relationship, but I still feel so alone
tl;dr: don't do online or long-distance relationships kids
>>17239401
https://youtu.be/plnnYKPx0WM
>>17239401
See a psychologist, you sound unhealthy.
>>17239404
I have a very close friend, who's married to an awesome dorky dude. He's definitely not perfect, like does nothing for anniversaries, birthdays, etc. Doesn't chitchat constantly. All this sucks, but she's using it to give herself justification for having an affair.
This has been bulding for awhile, and I've watched her do textbook shit: losing weight, new tattooes and piercings, dying her hair. She confided that she had a crush on a married coworker ages ago, then told me he was into her and wanted to have an affair but "she would never do that." Then when I told her to just cut the dude off entirely she said she "couldn't because he's one of her best friends, and I just don't understand." Then the other day, she told me she'd been having an affair.
When she told me about it, she was complaining about how it shouldn't effect her friendships (a mutual friend dumped her over it)
it's my life and my choices
it's no one's business
I'm still a good person
friends shouldn't judge no matter what
Then she invited me to the beach with her husband, coworker, and his wife. "It's the only way to see each other because his wife is suspicious." I told her that's a step beyond fucked up, and I wanted no part of it. I get someone going through a married-too-young crisis, but I'm not going to enable her and tell her what she wants to hear. I just don't think I want a person capable of shit like this around, even though she's a close friend. I can't talk to anyone about it, so I needed some perspective- is this a reasonable reaction?
>>17239267
I would drop her as a friend, maybe even give the husband a heads up. What a dirtbag. Wouldn't want someone with loose morals as a friend.
>>17239267
Definitely tell the husband. You would want to be told if you were in his shoes, right?
>>17239275
As much as I want to, I can't give her husband a heads up.
I think me telling her like it is, and removing myself is enough. I felt like the 'friend' stuff was total bull, and I don't want to give passive agreement with her actions by doing nothing.
What's proper etiquette when a girl shows you pics of her dog?
A cute girl at work keeps showing us pics of her dog, and I need an in.
Get her to talk about her dog?
>>17239245
If you happened to have a dog yourself, you could schedule a dog playdate. It's retarded but people(mostly yuppies) actually do it.
>>17239272
I was thinking something like, "Wow, I want to scratch his neck!" or st.
How do I choose what to do for the rest of my life? I'm in the middle of my final school exams (Ireland) and I'm likely to get the points to do anything I want. I've narrowed it to the two choices:
Law
Pros:
-Go to the best/second best school in the country.
-Have spoken to two solicitors (lawyers) and I reckon I'll enjoy the work.
-I like reading.
Cons:
-No guarantee of a getting a good paying job in the long run.
-Have to move out of home (I'll be living like a hobo for 4 years).
Comp Sci
Pros:
-Job market here is in desperate need of software engineers; good paying job is guaranteed.
-I already code (to some extent).
-I won't have to move out of home.
Cons:
-Not sure I'll enjoy making my hobby into my work and I might hate it in the long run.
If anyone has experience in either I'll be much appreciative.
I'm a lawyer in the US. I love it. I get to divide my time between interviewing, counseling, research, writing, and argument. I get to be tactical and creative. I get to stand up to bullies. It's awesome. I don't mind conflict and I have a thick skin. That helps.
I'm a software engineer in the US. I love it as well. Yep.
One other thing. I also code on the side to automate the repetitive tasks that pop up in my legal practice. I like that as well and my coding helps me develop my professional network as other lawyers are interested in automation.
How can I spark romantic interest again in a girl?
I've seen this girl almost every night for the last 6 months while taking out our dogs for a walk. We're part of a group of 5 people (we all take our dogs to the same park at the same time), but most of the time it's just her and I talking about stuff.
She's older than me, I just turned 24 and she's 30, but from the first couple of months we got to know each other more I could tell she would constantly flirt with me (even though she has a bf), but since I'm a dense motherfucker I honestly couldn't tell until she stopped. Since then our conversations turned stale and we most of the time talk about trivial things and about our dogs.
She's actually a really boring girl, has no actual hobbies (I tried to get her into watching movies to no avail, she doesn't even read anything, she's also past her age of partying according to her) She even told me she used to be a Stacy, using /r9k/ terms, and would use the guys that fancied her as she pleased. Despite all this I still want to get in her pants since she's really pretty.
I guess I've given you guys enough info. What can I do? What can I talk about with a girl with no actual interests?
>>17239158
OP here. Just returned from our usual walk.
This time a new girl was around and told us how her little dog ate a chocolate bar this afternoon. The dog seemed fine but I told the girl it could die if left alone. I showed an article that said what to do and what symptoms to be aware of. In general I was just being as helpful as I could and also telling her it'd all be alright.
After new girl left 30 year old friend starting teasing me about her, as if she perceived what happened with the new girl as flirting on my part.
What the fuck. This isn't even the first time this has happened when I talked to other girls. Is she just jealous? Should I call her out for it?
Bump. Come on, guys.
She is probably fucking with you or flirting without realizing, girls do this shit.
She is 30 years old and has a bf, she is not going to ruin her life for some 24 year old beta male.
Alright I've got kind of a dandruff issue and Head & Shoulders isn't working.
I'm a 19 year old guy.
I've read taking cold showers and drinking lots of water helps, which I've been doing, but no help.
I'll probably be seeing a dermatologist soon for my acne and dandruff, but what should I do until then?
u culd shave ur hed
Bump, need help
there are a lot of causes of dandruff that you're better off just waiting to see your dermatologist.
if you don't mind spending the money for a shot in the dark you can try some hella dank shampoos.
I alternated between nizoral and coal tar shampoo for a few weeks to clear mine up but it just comes back because I'm a lazy fucker and only shower once a week.
I'm currently a highschool graduate that is going off to university in a couple of months. I'm going to be working a minimum wage job again in about a week and I have currently $2000 in my checkings account with Chase. How do I get to the point where I have $500k like I see some other anons have in their early 20s? I'm going to be majoring in Biology at UNR and my expenses should be looking like I'll be paying somewhere from $8000 to $12,000 a year because of room and board.
First off dont major in biology....
>>17239175
I'm doing medical
>>17239137
You're not going to turn 2k into 500k.
And if you're going medical, you won't even have a positive balance until you're in your thirties.
so i am aylum seeker from russia, i was lgbt activist and political performace artist in russia. today i am in sf, i can not find any work and actually i have no permission for work. i have less friends here and i don't know how to survive to the day when i will get my permission for work.
Anyway i just wanna find some friends here.
>>17239083
Which part of Russia did you come from?
>>17239181
I born in capital(Moscow)
Lived part of my life in st. petersburg
>>17239083
Kek serves you right for going to the Gay Area
How do I move from my shitty small town to a big city if I'm poor and have no skills? I don't want anything fancy just the most basic living. I just don't want to see John Deere hats and pick up trucks everywhere and hear lawn mowers and dogs barking. I don't want to know my neighbors or anyone else's life around me. I don't want to talk to a girl and know everyone she's slept with.
I don't want to see the same 5 people every day for the rest of my life. I don't want to work in a super market or Burger King just to cater to old rddnecks for just enough money to eat and smoke weed. I don't want to see broken down antique houses and shitty rusted trucks and I don't want to see the same idiots hang out with the same dumb asses all day and waste their lives out in this rural shit hole anymore I just want out as soon as possible and to never come back
know how you feel bro
save money to get skills then taek skills and apply them to job.
>>17239047
I live in a city and, minus a few things, that's kinda how it is. Except that rent is like +$1k for a shitty studio apt in a shit part of town
Caught my current gf of two years sending this to her coworker, what do I do?
Second pic in comments
Haha fml
Anyways obviously I break up with her, but what things should I know to make this easy and she doesn't fuck up my life.
Also how do I confront her about this? I was thinking I would go out to eat with her, and tell her I have something embarrassing I want to tell her, then say the same Alexa CT thing she said to this guy
>>17239044
... Just break up with her... Why do people have to make a show at of everything? Just say you saw those messages she sent and break up with her.
>b-but she needs to be humiliated
Honestly, you'll just come out of it looking like an immature asshole.
>>17239044
Anon no don't.
Try what someone else said in another thread; just simply do not adknowledge her existence. Pretend you already broke up without saying it. Cut ties and move away
How do you cope with the fact that you don't really know what you're doing? I feel like an imposter, and that everything could fall apart tomorrow. I have doubts all the time. It hasn't stopped me from doing things, but the thoughts can get me down when I'm by myself.
I figured something a couple of years back, on my first job. I'll share it with you.
I was quite anxious, because everyone around me had a lot of expert knowledge in different areas. A lot of words were thrown around that I didn't understand, and I felt pretty dumb.
Then this one day came and I realized - maybe I should just be honest. The next time a hard word was thrown out I laughed a bit and said: "Sorry, I have no idea of what you're talking about - what's that?".
Not only was the reaction what I expected (people looking down on you), people we PLEASED to explain it to me AND I felt better in the end.
People love feeling knowledgeable. They won't waste time making yourself feel bad if they can make themselves feel better.
Hope that helps
>>17239045
apologies for the grammar mishaps and missing words, I'm sleep deprived
