Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2150. page
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How do I get this smug chick pregnant with my superior viking genes that are altered by my massive amounts of spiritual energy? Also I rarely ever have normal talks with my family, have trouble relaxing(need to exercise before and after every meal) have medical problems, family problems (people drifting apart, divorces, family dying, bro trying to inadvertently kill him self because of his disease) and to top it off I'm buried in a mountain of debt. How do I into impregnation and skipping the kissing steps?
It's like my third goal right now pls help
>>16505331
>superior genes
>has all these problems
>>16505357
> relating genes to unfortunate life events
W E W L A D
E
W
L
A
D
my medical problems are simple athletic injuries, people who can't do 25 one armed push ups(uninjured) wouldn't understand
How can you tell if a girl is flirting or if I'm just a perv?
Does she seek you out and talk to you when there is absolutely no reason at all?
It's more, I go over to her place and she's sucking a lollipop. Or were hanging out and she brushes her boobs into my arm or back.
>>16505295
ask her if she wants a back massage, procede to push her shirt up.. If she lets you undo her bra she wants the dick guaranteed 100%.
I can't think of a single reason not to kill myself. I have no family left, no real life friends, I can't get a girlfriend, I have a small penis, I'm fat, and I'm not good at anything. Why should I continue to suffer /adv/?
Because 4 of those things you can fucking fix.
No real freinds you got the internet
Small Penis (Viagra)
No familyYou're free no worries basically
No GF start socializing
See it's not all bad
>>16505288
Dubs don't lie
You can literally fix everything on your list just by applying effort. I know it sounds incredibly simple and I don't know anything about your life, but it's the truth.
By the way, a lot of fat guys who complain about having small penises often find that once they lose the fat their penises often look larger. In some odd cases they actually grow in size.
>Go to the gym
>Get fit
>Meet...
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I need some help. I am very worried that I might end up as the internets whipping boy. I live at home with my parents, but I go to university and am on my way to become a teacher. I am just worried that I might become him. The reason? I like to stay home and play video games, and spend money on games and things. Even just spend money on snack foods sometimes. What can I do to prevent myself from become like him? I don't want to go down that path.
>>16505244
If those are the reasons you think you'll become like Chris-chan, then there's a million Chris-chans living all around you.
>>16505256
Well, I've read some about him, but I really don't want to end up like him. What is it that made him so fucking awful? I am just worried about ending up in that position is all.
>>16505244
Just take care of yourself anon to lift your self esteem. I don't go out at all, except my job at menards. I'm dropping out of college and work for free as an apprentice in this mechanic auto shop to learn. What do I do? I do push ups, sit ups and every now and then go for runs. It really helps the spirits I tell ya h'wat.
Does being short and skinny kill my chances of being with a woman I'm attracted to? Talking 5' 5" 115 lbs
I don't mind plus sized women or tall women or dark women or whatever, but this whole meme about how women despise every guy who isn't in the top 20% really got to me. Every time I meet a girl and we get along, I don't do anything even if I want to, because I assume she'll be uninterested or already has a guy, or both.
Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Especially not this place.
>>16505228
5'6" 130lbs guy here. Height doesn't matter. You just need to be awesome and attractive to get girls. Simple as that. My last gf was 5'10".
No but...it would legitimately make me worried about you, i wouldnt be thinking of whether i liked you or not. i'd just try to help you or something. Or I'd think you werent taking care of yourself which is a turn off. Because thats pretty fucking skinny unless you carry it well or you're asian
Female friend last week:
>"I had a really big crush on you when we were first hanging out :x"
Emoticon included.
Now, same female friend this week:
>"What? No, you misunderstood. I meant a non-romantic crush. I never felt romantic towards you ever."
Well fuck, bitch, which is it?
She wanted the D.
>non-romantic crush
someone help me what is this
Maybe last week she wanted the D but this week she found someone who gave her the D. O well your loss.
Hey /adv/,
Basically girl trouble. I'm 23 years old and the last few months of my 5 year relationship have been rocky to say the least. She's finished her degree and is in another country right now and I havent seen her in about 4 months. I'm going on vacation to a nearby country and so i invited her...but her reaction was basically to tell me she feels like she's lying when she says she loves me and that she doesn't know about her schedule but even if she could go she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to be near me or see me.
I...
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>>16505092
bump
anybody?
>>16505133
insults...mockery...anything welcome at all...
bump
She sounds immature as hell, minor little hiccup and deletes you from Facebook?
I'd let her walk
Source: did a 5 year relationship with 2 years long distance, ended it, have no regrets
In real life I'm overall respectful and decent to women. Maybe I'm not perfect, but I'm not out of the ordinary I'm pretty sure.
On the internet I'm like pic related (I'm the green). I make girls cry and sometimes threaten to kill themselves (I talk them down from doing this).
Psychbros. What the fuck is wrong with me. Why do I have no interest in apologising to her. Why do I hurt women over the internet like this (this isn't the first time I've made a girl cry by typing words at her).
Because you can't accept that you are also ugly and don't deserve a perfect girl.
Girls can smell creep, and you reek. You're probably not actually polite to girls but you don't actively persue them because you're not a catch.
because you're a coward. Typing the words is easy when you don't have to deal with the consequences. You don't realize how you're actually hurting someone.
>>16505052
Repping this.
Someone on /b/ actually reported me to the FBI's website... What I did is weird and I'm sorry but that seems like an overreaction and they don't get I am truly sorry
>>16505018
Don't hold me responsible! I can't help my shitty behavior! Tell that to the next sucker. You went too far this time. Out of my life you go. That pathetic friendless life you don't like anyway. Bye bye.
>>16505018
dude go to a different state and lay low for awhile
mom will take care of them
>>16505056
Do you know what I'm talking about?
So, my boyfriend has a pretty great family and I love most of them. Except there's this one kid. He is horrifying. He's about 8 or 9 I think. He is violent beyond normal kids. He has went up to a teenager who was minding his own business, dishing food up, and actually stabbed him with a fork, broke the skin. He goes up to kids, teenagers, adults, and hits/kicks/bites them and screams profanities and throws shit like big rocks at people. He doesn't seem to have a bad home life, his parents are filthy rich and don't discipline him at all (maybe that's...
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>>16504910
Actually, I was that kid. Those issues will settle themselves, but only if his parents teach it to keep its emotions inside.
>>16504910
>his parents are filthy rich and don't discipline him at all (maybe that's part of it?)
It is.
He thinks he can do everything he wants without any bad consequence.
>>16504910
>his parents are filthy rich
>I don't want him to grow up and be a murderous criminal
But it's impossible to be a criminal when you're rich
Meeting a guy next week I've known for quite awhile online. If all goes well we'll start officially dating. I'm 20 and he's 24, he's had a history of girls cheating on him, with one even faking pregnancy before he was 18. What should I expect if we started dating? His last ex left him for his best friend.
>>16504899
I wouldn't expect much of it. Did he seem enthuastic when you asked him out? I'd just drop the ball if he doesn't seem into it that much. Just stop replying, that's the best way to go I think. He'll take the hint. Don't forget to value yourself girl, remember YOU are the prize. If you start following him around or just generally acting like a puppydog, he'll think it's a cat in the bag and he won't try as hard. Read the Rules. It will give you many great rules and tips...
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>>16504924
>Not
>>16504899
That... sounds... weirdly familiar. His initials, per chance?
>meet a really cool girl while away on an internship
>We click instantly and start hanging out all the time
>She eventually turns me down but we remain tight friends, tell each other everything, flirt here and there but it never leads to anything, I pursue other girls
>months pass and a friend of hers from back home also joins the internship
>They start hanging out all the time
>Eventually...
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And I realize I come off as a bit needy but she is the exact same damn way with people
sounds like you need someone to feel validated
thats your problem. you dont like yourself enough
>>16504914
What makes you say that? I have been told this before but I don't know where or how I would go about starting to like myself
I'm 23 and already bald. I literally can't adjust to this life. I went from being attractive and always feeling good to hell. I used to date girls that were 8s and had a bunch of girls that liked me and complimented me. It got really bad at 22 and I quit life. Haven't had a job or a single relationship since and I have almost no friends now. I don't do anything allnday. My only option so far is to hope I can get disability and hide from humanity until my shit life is over. All I want is death.
>>16504882
Adapt! Shave that noggin ;;) rock the shaved head/bald guy persona!
>>16504882
Go to one of those hair regrowth places like Ashley and Martin.
Nigga chicks love the bald look if you know how to work it. Play with the cards you've been dealt
So my cat died recently. How do I get over it?
cry. mope around. eat comfort food. cry some more.
Time will heal it, but crying during will make you feel a little bit better
>>16504864
I love calicoes. My cat is a calico. Sorry for your loss OP.
Like all wounds, it takes time to heal. Sorry OP, I love cats too.
just be happy and try to make others happy with happy stories and share people!! pic unrelated unless it makes you happy
tea makes me happy
I just really enjoy seeing people smile, it really is a joyous thing, I love seeing people happy, especially when they are down, I'd gladly exchange my happiness to see theirs.
WHO DOESN'T LIKE TO LAUGH
