Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2143. page
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I'm bad at being intimate and talking about myself, how do I get better?
I've always been really afraid of opening up to other people and actually talking about myself because of self worth issues, but lately I've been really trying to change that.
However I find that I'm not nearly as good at speaking in this context than I am in others
I stutter and lose track of how my words should flow and don't really have a good sense of how much to actually say before I'm either burdening/bragging to/boring the other person
any advice?
>>16509867
people generally dont want to hear about ur problems or inner thoughts etc.
>>16509873
That's what I've always thought but I very frequently get pushed in conversations to talk about myself and used to just deflect and make it about the other person again to avoid having to speak about me
I kind of started to feel like that isn't normal though, was I wrong?
>>16509867
Don't bother about opening up to people.
It's usually women that force us to open up, but it's not because they care about you. They just want as much info as possible to throw it in your face later on in the relationship.
For example: You tell her about your problems with your father and you get emotional and you tear up.
The next time you'll have a fight with her she'll bring that up, telling you that you have daddy issues.
Women will shit into your heart.
How to get over her? It's been three weeks and it's still crippling. The feeling that I'll never see her eyes again, not a single text from her will bleep on my phone no more.
Worst is I don't even know what she's doing, how is she feeling. If she still thinks about me as much as I am.
This is too fucking heavy.
>>16509721
Some say you never quite get over it but it gets easier.
You just need to spend time with friends and family to keep your mind preoccupied.
If you stay busy and have fun with friends you won't be dwelling on it as much.
This helps me after breakups
>>16509721
How long were you together?
>>16509736
I don't have any friends, and around my depressed wall I buil another one when talking to my family and become angry instead. It's not helping really, I like to get drunk alone in my flat every night, just killing time waiting if she might text me.
Hey /adv/ so I just got a tinder and started putting myself out there. I'm moderately attractive, I get plenty of matches, but I suck at initiating conversations and keeping them going.
Now if there are things I can use as hooks in her profile, I use that. But if all she has is pictures, what can I say? How can I start a conversation complimenting a girl without sounding desperate of creepy? Because I am both.
Also, how do you ramp up boring chit chat into sexual conversation/flirting? Example msgs help a lot.
Will post porn in return for tips. Thanks /adv/
>>16509490
hey [name or nickname]. Freckles works pretty well.
then you pick an activity or a picture of her profile. if not, you can always go by name or go by random.
since you're American you can use some shitty pick up line, the avocado line does wonders, but don't be autistic about it
get her number ASAP
ask about travel, pets and her favorite places (specifically bars and restaurants)
"well i've never been to that area, maybe you could show me ;)?" or "well...
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>>16509510
you can also go for "hey aren't you the girl from [university]? I swear i saw you in [whatever] once! :)"
>>16509510
I started by asking them if they have raisins. Will this work in my favor? Pls respond
Why are there so many more single guys than girls? It's fucking bullshit how society pushes this "girls want to commit but guys won't" meme when the average guy would chop his foot off to get a relationship and girls can't even be bothered.
>>16509449
Isn't this a pasta from like a month ago? Nice bait
>>16509449
Given that the world wide ratio of male/female is close to 50%, and a heterosexual relationship requires both a male and a female, it is just wrong to think that there are 'so many more single guys than girls'.
I mean, you need two to tango. Both girl and boy. How hard is that to understand?
>>16509456
Look at the age range breakdown, there are more young women than men.
My lady and I have been quarreling all day. Not over the "cat", but it made a lovely segue discussion to a topic of discussion we had earlier in the week that seemed at the time like it was a non-issue. It clearly hit her harder than I originally had thought it would, and honestly it's my apprehension and assuredness that she wasn't going to react pleasantly to the info that caused me to "get caught" with my porn interests. Not that porn is the issue (so she says), but the fact that I prefer asian women's looks. It's not the "personality...
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Alright, am stoned so shall I bite.
1. How old are you two?
2. Did she see a porn vid on your screen or did she read your browser history?
3. If browser, was it ALL Asian porn?
>>16509489
It wasn't all asian porn, she has known I watch porn and recently has been watching it with me. Also, 30.
>>16509425
First, please stop typing with a fedora on.
Second, how would you feel if she watched porn of black guys all the time? Wouldn't you feel like you aren't enough?
Gf of 5 and a half years broke up engagement 3 weeks ago.
We planned our future together.
Says she has no feelings like that for me anymore and that she wants to be alone.
She also
1. purposefully avoids dealing with her feelings, jumping into stuff like learning and organizing programs to avoid feeling my loss (her words). She might have an emotional issue because she learned doing this growing up with an alcoholic father.
2. she deliberately upholds the possibility that it's very likely we will get back together in the future. I believe this...
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>>16509258
She's unstable, and if she dumped you then so be it.
Her saying she thinks you'll find eachother again is probably bullshit to make both of you not feel so bad.
Move to Europe and pursue your dreams for you.
A rule of thumb is career first, romantic relationships second.
>>16509260
>Move to Europe
Move to London*
hurr
moar tips please?
I'm manly as fuck trans girl. Sucks I want die. Help.
>>16508679
Seek therapy and reassignment surgery. Perhaps do things in the meantime to feel less manly. What do you think is wrong with your appearance/physique?
I feel your pain. I'm a amphibious-gender frog. No one understands me. I want to go back to when I was a tadpole.
be specific, why do you want to be a girl, what is wrong with your body?
Do girls find the under cut/ top knot/ man bun attractive?
Post best male hairstyles than anyone can pull off without 1000$ of hairproduct and a team of stylists?
I find pic style pretty cool, what do girls think of it?
>>16508593
>sjw dyke half shaved head
I really hope this look dies out asap. That said tumblr and psycho chicks will be all over your dick for being hip and trendy.
>>16508593
>under cut/ top knot/ man bun
no
>>16508599
shut the fuck up
>>16508603
What are other "good looking" haircuts for men that are possible to pull off without dunking a bottle of elmers glue to hold it in place? (Sarcasm)
I was just wondering, how do you guys manage your long distance relationships? How do you stay close? How often do you voice/video call? Do you plan on meeting, Have you already met them? if so, how expensive was your trip?
I have been in a LDR for over a year and plan on meeting him soon. give me advice!
I talk to her every day, if we can skype , we skype for hours and hours, as much as we can, we play games together as much as we can, laugh and make jokes, try to have real conversation, help each other with homework or anything either of us need, and as well as just talk. We talk from when we're both awake and ready to engage others, and we stop when ever shes tired or whenever im tired or we just have other shit to do. I plan on meeting her for the first time in about a year and a half. Planning on spending a week or two where she lives. Ive been friends with her for...
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>>16508527
>Met her multiple times
>visited her 5 times she visited me once over 2 years
>rent and hotel and plane tickets were around 800-1000 depending on time of year
>she ended up cheating on me
Skype every day, chat almost constantly when possible, be extremely blunt and open with each other, dates as often as we can, usually every couple weeks.
It's hell. But I love her.
hello everyone
i came to /adv/ before but i need more answers since the situation changed
im a 34 year old khv
ive lived in my apartment for 14 year now
ive had my anime, manga, books, shows, movies, video games, and some other things to keep me busy
i haven't really left my apartment in 14 years, my parents paid for everything
i do have a car that i got when i was 18, really love dthose cars back then
its an rx7 FB
anyway
my father passed away
and im scarred what will happen to my life if my mother is gone to
she doesnt have anything...
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>34 year old
You should really consider asking that somewhere else than /adv/. I don't want to be that guy but you're really too old for this board.
>>16506173
how
how am i different from >>16503381
i trust you guys
youve been my only friends for a long time
>>16506157
>34
>should i get a job?
Yes, you twat.
Best of luck, would of been easier finding a job those 10-14 years ago.
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/T5yrzcN.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[1].jpg")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get...
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What's even the appeal of a height difference in a relationship. It seems like more of a hassle than anything.
>>16505460
What? I don't think anyone purposefully looks for a height difference in relationships
>>16505478
I see tall guys chase short girls and the other way around all the time. It always seemed a bit wacky to me.
Let it out
You know you fucked up, right?
Bye bye, wish you luck with life
I just don't know what's happening with me. I am really with this girl every time and she considers me as her best-friend.
She has said to me a lot about her past(like she don't have much friends and people used to ignore her) and after hearing all that, I am really sad for her that she has passed through all those not-so-good moments. I try to console her saying that the past doesn't matter anymore and what matters is what you do in the present and in the future. She then says that she feels good and after like 2 days she comes to me saying the same...
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>>16505483
(Continuation)
I hope /adv/ got me. I never have got into a relationship, I have never experienced anything like this and I don't know what to do /adv/. I just met her like 3 months ago and she has some kind of super-trust in me. Also, when I ask(2 times I have asked) about that other dude, she gets happier and says more to me about him.
I just joined this collage and I fear that getting more into this would harm my studies and shit. I just don't want to have any mental breakdown on a rejection...
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Oh No!
I majored in History!
I'll be dis owned!
I'm a failure!
Death!
>>16503142
Fairly accurate. You'll always have a bad dead end job and no one will see you as a success. I bet you went to a B tier university.
>>16503170
Oh, and my real issue seeing you as messing up is not even getting a double major. Being just a history major means you're a fuckhuge slacker.
>>16503177
that's not true
If a lady gives you the deer caught in headlights look upon laying eyes on you, and you were to ask for her phonenumber, how likely would it be in that instance that she'd provide you with her phonenumber? And if she were to say no, is this because she is too shy and attrracted to say yes or would there be another reason?
>>16510297
Who are you trying to imitate here? Fucking Locke? Ask ur question in plain english next time. To answer your question: I have no idea. Any fembots in tha house?
>>16510297
If a girl refuses to give you her number, it's because she is repulsed by you.
There is no other reason.
Also deer in the headlights face is usually not a good one. It means she's anxious, and in this particular situation, it's likely because you creep her out.
Girls may get a deer in the headlight look when their crush approaches them, but in that case, they would give him their number immediatly. No one would say "no" to giving their phone number to their crush.
>is this because she is too shy and attrracted to say yes
This is not a thing, other than perhaps once in a million times.
I've been browsing 4chan and /adv/ for some time now and I always see this threads like 'I'm 20 and virgin, my life is over'. Well, I'm 24, kissless, handholdless virgin. I'm your typical fat, introverted girl. I guess if I looked hard enough I would find a guy willing to fuck me. But I can't be bothered - ideally I would want to lose my v card and have sex with a guy who really loves me and with whom I have a real relationship. However I know it will never happen because I'm fat, and since I can't lose weight it's just how my...
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can't loose weight? care to explain?
And no there 's nothing wrong with you, some girls have less libido than others plus since you're a virgin you don't know what you're missing i guess...
Men have much higher sex drives and basically their entire social value is dependent on how many girls hey bang so it's more important for them than you.
Why can't you lose weight? Is it a praticular medical issue or just "my genetics" and lack of the discipline. That's the source if your problems, when you hate something about yourself, you hate yourself. When you give up and accept the things you hate, you give up on yourself and hate yourself. And that doesn't lead to a happy life.
