Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2134. page
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Why do people encourage guys to ask girls out and pretend that there are no social repercussions from being rejected? I'm worried about these and I don't even have friends or any social media!
Explain, or give examples of what happens if you get rejected.
lift bro
thanks for reminding me I need to lift
>>16515124
Kek
>>16515109
That's just the way things are.
It's a rigged game - if you don't like it, then don't play. Simple.
And honestly, not asking a girl out is alot easier and alot less risk than asking one out. Plus, porns is everywhere now and your hand knows what you like more than she ever will.
As for companionship? Most women hate men now anyway, at best you'd be lead on, emotionally blackmailed and given ultimatums, at worst it's a non-stop tirade about how "all men are evil rapists who just want one thing and how they never stop manslpaining".
Seriously, truth time OP; Why do you even give a shit, not like being with a woman is gonna make you happy anyway?
Hey /adv/ I want to change my name First Middle and Last. Any ideas? I think I might go with Hanns or Hannz for my first name. So anything that goes with that would be cool. Bonus points if the first name starts with Han!
I might as well be your father if I'm going to name you my son
>>16515024
Han Solo
Han Job
Han Wong
Hanz Some
>>16515029
Cool I need a new dad
Graduate of a terrible Art Institute "college." Specifically, Art Institute of Las Vegas. Didn't learn shit. Can't get out of debt and owe over 70k. Monthly interest alone is $400 a month. Have three kids, illegally living in a 2 bedroom apartment due to family size, don't qualify for government assistance or aid or even student loan deferment. Debt prevents me from buying a home. Can't get a business loan to start a business. Can't get work in my field because my field doesn't pay shit and is extremely competitive. My education didn't prepare me for pretty much anything career oriented.
Does anyone know of success stories where a student successfully sewed the college and won, wiping their debt clean? I don't even give a shit about the money and time I lost going to that college. I just want my debt removed.
Anyone know of programs or assistance I can get help with?
Student debt is removed only on death
Channel your strength into solving your issues at hand now that this is clear
>>16515022
So what would you recommend then?
>>16515117
1. Cut excess spending. Yes that means your cable, netflix, internet, and your smart phone with matching data plan. Frugality in all aspects.
2. Pay off debt immediately, as fast as possible. Once you have positive cash flow again, save until you have a 3-6 month emergency cash fund.
3. Learn new skills that will allow you to obtain work
/adv/, what do I do about threadworms/pinworms?
I somehow ended up with them 2 weeks ago and I've taken the medication, eaten a teaspoon of coconut oil in the morning, applied coconut oil to my anus at night (different jars, mind you), eaten 2 cloves of garlic each morning and added 2 servings of blackberries to my daily diet and yet they're still there, sort of visible around my asshole.
I'm about to take the second dose of worming meds, but these things are persistent and I'm slightly embarrassed about it to see my GP.
See a doctor asap.
Embarrassment will kill you faster than worms
>>16515006
Dude just see the doctor. You could have gotten prescription meds and been done with it by now. I had them once as a kid and the medication took care of them easily.
>>16515006
This is the doctor you're talking about. A medical proffessional, on the front lines of medical necessities. If you think ringworms are embarrassing, you're heavily mistaken. It's a natural phenomenon, and they won't even bat an eye at it, just get your details and help you get well again as soon as you can.
And if you ask them to grade it, I doubt you'd reach a 5/10, on the weirdness scale, even lower on the funny scale.
tl;dr: Nothing to be embarrased about, they see worse/stranger things. Get checked.
My girlfriend and I was having a normal conversation over text and out of the blue she says,
>Everyone's moving in together, When can we?
I simply reply with "When I can afford to move out" and then replies with
>Hurry up I'm bored of waiting
Anyway thinking that subject has changed within the conversation I then receive this reply from her
>I'm getting sad and frustrated at that I'm ready to start settling down etc and you're years off that
I should mention that we have only been together for a year, personally I think it's just way too soon for myself or even her to actually think about even buying or renting a house.
I told her again that I don't have a high enough income to even buy a house, pointed out that most couples don't start looking into this thing until another few years in the average relationship. I also said that it wouldn't be fair on her I can't even split the bills since my income isn't high enough to support her and lastly, I also said that I simply wasn't ready to move out.
She then replies
>You'll never be ready then. Maybe I should get my house then. I was waiting for you, silly me (Kek'd)
After that, I just didn't know what to say but I feel rather pissed off just simply because she doesn't respect my reasons, honesty and just attempting to rush me into things.
How can I tell my girlfriend to basically stop rushing into things? I can't help but think that she is jealous because most her friends are married in their early 20's, have their own houses and some excepting a child. I have a strong feeling about that
>TL:DR Girlfriend is pushing me into things, How do I tell her to back off?
What's your financial position, her financial position and do you see a future with this girl? Also a year isn't really that soon to be moving in together
>>16514978
1) Is either of you two 18 years old or less? From your post, I'd say you are, but can't be sure.
2) You don't have to buy a house to live together. Renting an apartment qualifies just as much.
3) Stating that on average it's a few years before couples move in together is both, wrong and wrong. It's untrue, as well as an extremely defensive gesture, that screams "I don't want to live with you!", when looking between the lines.
4) I agree that this isn't something you can rush into. Nor should you. But you shouldn't be completely dismissive of the idea either. Tell her you're looking into it, check a few houses, check a few apartments, give her the best options moneywise (but terrible locations, if you don't want her accepting), for the sake of not having an argument about it later on.
meh, tell her you're not ready, and if she can't deal with that, to go bang some other dude
I've started to realize I have developed a bad drinking habit, and I know I need to cut it out. I've been trying to stop since summer, but all I manage to do is not drink for 4 or 5 days and then fall back into it.
I don't do it to alleviate stress or anything, and I don't have a physical addiction. But because god damn do I really enjoy drinking its become associated a lot with my home life. Almost everything when I am at home now is.
- Writing a paper: Grab a drink
- Gonna draw some art and listen to music: Grab a drink
- Play some Video games: Grab a drink
I'm young man and I usually take good care of my self, but I'm looking at 3-5 drinks a night for the past 2 years. Anyone with some success stories? What about switching to weed. I really don't want to keep living this routine, any help is appreciated.
Nigga have you ever just tried you know...applying yourself?
>>16514968
useless advice.
look into SMART recovery
>>16514968
Thanks anon, my problems are solved!
>>16514984
(Sincerely) Appreciate it, looks promising.
Wtf do I do about having a cunt mom. Like I'm talking literal evil. She comes downstairs and she's just sitting there looking like a miserable cunt. I said can I have your keys go to the store its only a quarter mile away. And she just snaps and yells no you can't. She starts yelling. I said why just because your a miserable cunt and she said just walk your fat ass down and keeps yelling.
The other day my friend was here and she says I need my fucking card I said ok. She runs out to me and my friend and starts screaming and shit and I said ok I'll go find it and she just follows me around the house screaming the whole time while my friend sits there on his phone trying to leave.
I have childhood trauma and I think I have PTsd and she brings up being molested just to watch me snap. All she does is try to make me as miserable as her and she just screams at me like fucjinb mad. The only way I can talk to her is if I scream over her screaming.
I'm trapped out in the boonies with this bitch what do I do? She just sits in her room drinking all day and she only stops to come scream at me. I'm scared I'm going to get drunk and just black out and punch the shit out of her.
>>16514920
Get a job faggot. Spend all day in town looking for work. Do something with yourself you fat fuck. Leave home.
sounds like you treat her like shit too
you asked for her keys, meaning she trusts you with probably the 2nd most expensive thing she owns.
She asked for her card back, meaning she trusts you to not lose/spend every single penny she has
I'm guessing its just you and her from your post, and it seems like you offer absolutely no support to her, you have friends, does she?
all of this probably stems from the fact she feels alone, and the only person who should be on her side takes her for granted
I guarantee, if you speak to her, or make a concious effort to treat her better that she will treat you better.
shes the only mum you'll ever have, time to grow up and be a man
>>16514964
Trust me this thread doesn't make her sound as bad as she is she just walks up to me being a cunt every single one of my friends just says dude ho the fuck can she be that bad
In order to make this concise I'll greentext the background information:
>Get job
>Qt3.14 works there
>Always makes excuses to work with me
>Obsessively touching me
>Very flirty, but in an innocent way
>Come to find out that she has a boyfriend, as well as a son
>Just write off previous flirting as her just being friendly ,as she's very friendly to everyone and I have a history of misreading signals
>Qt3.14 finds a new job, puts in 2 week notice
>Days start to go by
>She becomes really flirty again and kind of sad and distant at the same time
>Ask her whats wrong and she's said she's sad she won't be able to work with me anymore
>Asks me for my phone number so we can text eachother when she leaves
>Text her that night
>Goes on and on, she's asking what I think of her and what not
>Tonight I leave work and she's in the parking lot
>She gives what is at first another one of her "I'm going to miss working with you" speeches
>Says she has feelings for me
>Have no idea what to say
>Am a kissless virgin, no previous relationship experience and live in my parents basement still
>She keeps going on about how she's sad she's in a relationship, feels bad to her current fiance for having feelings with me
>Literally have no idea what to say or do
>Hug her and tell her I'll text her later
cont.
Now I'm sitting here getting ready to text her, making sure to be very careful with what I say.
It's not that I don't like her. I definitely like her, find her attractive and dig all her vibes, but at the same time I don't want her to break it off with her fiance to date me, some clueless guy who has literally no idea what he's doing.
Everything in my gut tells me that I shouldn't pursue her and friendzone her, but at the same time I like her.
I don't know what to do, pls advise
Personally, I swore to myself I would never be a homewrecker again.
I've done it to someone before and I've had it happen to me. You feel great when you get the woman but the feeling of utter shit once it happens to you is not something I would wish to anyone else.
>>16514966
Yes, that's my angle on this. I don't want to break up whatever she has going with her current fiance because she wants to date me.
She says they've been going through a rough patch. I guess I've been the only one to listen to her and talk to her throughout all this so she developed some feelings towards me, but I'm totally not qualified for it.
I don't really want her to have been in a relationship and then break off one (Grass is greener on the other side). What if she feels the same way later on with someone else?
Like you said, homewrecking is bad and either end.
I'm thinking of killing myself. Nobody knows I feel this way or that I'm even sad. Is there any reason to live?
You are limited only by the appetite of your ambition.
And when that zeal is visionary, you tend to live just long enough to achieve it.
>>16514823
so basically what you're saying is I need to have a goal to reach for?
>>16514981
Dreams are what realities are made of.
As pretentious as it sounds, I think I've been having an existential crisis for the last couple of years. It started when a close friend I was sleeping told me she had started seeing someone else, which effectively ruined our friendship. It was only when it was over that I realised she was the most important friend I had ever had, and all of my other friendships were meaningless in comparison. As you can tell I took it pretty hard and sank into a bit of a depression, so I began to isolate myself as I waited for the feeling to pass. It never did.
University ended, and I decided to take a year off to do something completely different. I signed up to volunteer for a few months in Africa. Everyone else I went with found it an incredible life-changing experience, but it didn't really mean anything to me. I spent the rest of the year travelling to the places I'd always wanted to go to, and I did enjoy it, but I grew more and more alone and decided that it was time for me to settle down and rebuild some meaningful relationships. I applied for, and got accepted on, a Master's course that is interesting and will lead to a well-paid and enjoyable career.
Now I'm here, I'm feeling pretty low again. All of my feelings are contradictions. I want my ex to be happy, but I also want her to go through the same pain as I did. I want to find a girlfriend, but the idea of being that close to someone repels me. I am both interested in and completely bored by my area of study and future career. I feel like I'm heading for a miserable life, and yet I don't know what change would make it better. The one and only thing in my life I'm looking forward to is spending this xmas with my family - after that I'll just carry on 'existing', because I feel like I've not really lived in so long.
If that last paragraph seems fucking stupid, it's because it is. Is there anyone who's felt a similar way before? Does anyone have any advice for me?
>>16514738
You'll be fine, you're just going through a bit of a trough. Enjoy Xmas, stop churning over your past and forge ahead with your life. If you're going through hell, keep going. It will pass.
>>16514738
Take your money and go on a long, long vacation somewhere. In fact, just start a new life for a while and see if it clicks. Leave all of your stuff behind. Don't bring anything but yourself, your money and the clothes on your back.
What you are speaking of is the fleeting spirit of memory. A nostalgia as simple as the smell of wet rain on a sunny day or the wafting trails of cigarette smoke. A longing for simpler times, a desire to retreat to the past, a wish that things would be better if you could have gone to that waypoint crux and chose the other road.
You are caught in a paradox of looking forward for something you left behind. It is as fruitless as an endeavor of a dog chasing its own tail. You fell into the trap of letting the world go by while you were too busy looking into the rear view mirror.
So what do you do?
In all honesty you can do whatever you want. Let your vengeance be your fuel, let your ambitions lead the way, let your mind learn new things.
Whatever you choose just know that your strength in this world is limited. Choose how to spend it wisely.
You can mourn and sulk and look back at simpler times, or you can get up and go find that "thing" that will fill the void. I can't tell you where to find it, but I can tell you you're not going to find it in the past.
Good luck
How do I stop my gums bleeding when I brush my teeth?
floss
Get interdental brushes and floss. Brush in between all your teeth twice a day. More bleeding at first, but in two weeks it should stop completely.
Brush your gums.
I'm serious. Bleeding gums is a sign of bad mouth hygiene, you need to brush more often.
It will bleed obviously in the beginning but stop after you take better care of it.
/adv/, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months (I'm 20, he's 25), but I have some negative feelings about my relationship and I can't uderstand why.
The problem is that he goes out drinking often with his friends and I don't. I feel bothered that he goes out to clubs and bars two times a week. I never drank with him (I'm under 21 so I can't go to bars and clubs). However, even when he has people over at his place, I don't get invited and I honestly don't want to be invited. I'm very mellow and him and his friends are pretty crazy when they drink. I'm a homebody and don't have a lot of friends. I know I won't fit in his lifestyle and he won't fit in mine.
I feel lonely when he is out drinking while I'm home enjoying my own company.
He treats me really well and we always have a good time together, but when I hear about his weekend, I feel a mix of loneliness/jealousy/sadness/inferiority.
My question is: can our relationship work out even though our lifestyles are nothing alike and are my feelings rational or just immature? Can someone help me understand why I feel this way?
Also I should mention that
>I trust him that he's not cheating, when he's out
>he likes me more than I like him
I can provide more information, if you guys need. Thanks!
>Gif unrelated
>>16514576
I'd say he'll grow out of it, but given that he's 25 and still doing this, he ain't changing soon
>>16514576
do you see yourself with him after 5 years ?
I should mention that we always watch movies, cook together, or do other non-party related activities when we hangout. I like it but, I told him that I feel like we only get to do things that I enjoy doing.
I know he used to drink a lot with his ex and told me it was fun for him.
I can't fully enjoy our relationship because I want us to be part of each others' lives but I know it'll be hard since we have incompatible lifestyles.
We are still in the honeymood phase so it's not a big of a problem for him.
Does anyone have similar experiences to share? I would really appreciate the input!
Should I learn violin or viola? I really don't know which one to choose.
i prefer the violin sound
Whichever you can get a better deal on. However, if you plan on getting serious and joining an orchestra at some point in the future then viola players have an slightly easier time getting through auditions because it's under-represented in comparison to the violin despite the viola section being like half the size.
>>16514566
I honestly don't know which one I prefer, if anyone has any specific pieces that demonstrates both instruments capabilities, I'd appreciate it.
>>16514568
Not sure I'll do that, just a hobby of mine.
Hello, /adv/.
My girlfriend, who seems to be infatuated with me, and me with her, was raped, when she was 4 years old, by her father's friend. This changed her deeply. She got Stockholm'd with him until up to, by her, last year. She's 17. She did use the word ''fallen for him''. We started dating months back, so it's been a while. I have heard worse secrets from people that trust me and i trust. The friend sometimes visit her house because of her father. No one knows about this apparently. She refuses to tell anyone, so that it wouldn't ''ruin her family'', or the ''guy's life''. She's actually kinda grateful it happened because, by her words, it prevented her from becoming a shit rebellous person. I've talked with her, she seems to have changed some of her absurd views.
However, it bothers me, a lot. I've been ''abused'' aswell, just to take that out of the way. It bothers me a lot that all this time she kept liking her abuser, her fucking father's friend. The dude had about 15 to 17 years at the time. She made active effort during those years to approach, even get intimate with him. He (fortunately) always ignored and avoided her. The feelings might be gone. But, God dammit, does it hurt me and fills me with doubt. It'll eventually settle, i think. I'm goog with dealing with those things. But not now. At this moment, it's a fucking shit sensation. She's seen him this year, and she said it did nothing with her. She's very passionate with me and only mentioned the abuse and the guy once. But did it get stuck in my head. During sex, even intrusive thoughts of the act went by, and even though i hid it, it fucking ruined the rest of the day for me. How can i deal with this ? It's a selfish, i'm aware. I'm being an asshole with her and myself. Of course i haven't talked with her regarding this. She can't do anything. I know she likes me. I'm better than the dude in all aspects. But, sometimes, a tiny part of me just keeps saying ''you can't compete with him''.
Sorry for the retarded way i typed. I don't know why it came off like that.
>>16514523
She was raped by him at 4 years old and he ignored her after? wut
>>16514646
My theory is that he regrets it and tries to stay away as much as possible nowadays. She says it never happened again after that one episode.
My bf had camsex with another girl. We are LDR.
>he'd been joking with me about keking me for awhile. felt bad
>said he would cam with other girls if i let him because he didn't see it as different than fapping to videos
>i baited him by pretending to consider it
>he admitted he'd cammed with a 16 y/o an hour before
He claimed he was going to tell me anyways. When I wanted to break up with him only then did he start apologizing, getting upset; before that, he'd seemed a little ashamed but mostly annoyed that I was so torn up about it.
We had a fight some time later and I brought up that I was still hurting. He said "tell anyone your boyfriend fapped to an internet video and see if they equate that to fucking a club girl".
The thing for me is that we are LDR, so a girl seeing his dick is the exact same level of intimacy I get with him 99% of the time. Help...I just can't let it go.
>>16514493
Break up with him.
>>16514493
Just ended a ldr myself, and it sucks but you have to do it. You can find someone better who won't cheat.
>>16514495
>>16514503
I know. It just fucking sucks. Was my first bf and I had my first kiss with him, everything.
The only reason I can't let myself gloss over it is bc I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. Or if he slipped up at a party and fucked a girl in his area. There is no self-control I can count on.
argh. sounds gay but do you guys have any advice for getting over a relationship that meant a lot.
