Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2092. page
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I've got an addictive personality that hinders me in daily life. I think that totally avoiding the things that I'm addicted to is the only way to cure me.
Yet whenever I try to avoid them I feel great stress and sadness that impedes me even more until I give up and resume my bad habits.
My question is: is the stress+sadness caused by the difficulty of letting go? Also, is there a better way than going full cold turkey to lose addictions?(Consider that things like" gradually reducing" doesn't work)
The things I'm addicted to are: junk food, internet browsing, videogames, porn+hentai. Also I have trouble with going to bed+waking up at healthy hours and doing physical activity.
I've even tried pavlovian methods but it didn't work.
Maybe I just need a little more willpower, but how?
How do women do it? I could never look at someone and say "you're creepy you're genetically inferior lol" and participate in making his life a living Hell and possibly driving him to suicide or turning him into a mass shooter.
I guess I'm just too nice and see the good in everyone.
>>16542006
Sounds like two different girls talking in the picture. Normal people don't do 180s like that.
>>16542006
"All you gotta do is have confidence, work out, have good hygiene, and be yourself and girls will talk to you".
>People actually believe this.
kek
>>16542006
>How do women do it?
Living in fear of being raped helps.
Legit question: can I sue my parents for jewifying my cock as I did not consent? My dad told me he was against it, but my mom basically forced him to sign for it.
He has spoken to me about it a few times since I've been older, and basically said he is really sorry and hopes I can feel normal and complete. He isn't cut.
My mom is a complete bitch and the few times she hasn't refused to talk about it, she said its better for me, and that it looks better. For the record, I was done at 7 years old, so not a normal straight-after-birth type.
Sadly you were legally their property at that time and because the law dosen't view circumcison as harmful they were fine to do it.
I also feel your pain. I've never confronted my parents about it though.
Just call them unchristian, it does the trick and you'll have your inheritance when they kill themselves.
>women who decided to give their son a circumcision because it's "cool and hip" like you're a dog being used as a fashion accessory in a handbag on a retards arm rather than being treated like a human fucking being
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Hey /ad/v do you think not bathing could be the secret to longer life?
?Maybe this guy has cracked into something here, he hasn't bathed in 60 years and he as healthy as an ox, is 80 years old and looks 20 years younger.
http://www.ryot.org/photos-this-man-hasnt-bathed-in-60-years/525941
lmao imagine how black the bathtub would then after he steps in it.
I remember you.
There IS something to the hygeine hypothesis (the idea that we've over-sterilized our environment to the point where we can no longer build up our immunity in some important ways). But the hygeine hypothesis has nothing to do with bathing. Your role model's longevity is more likely due to luck than anything else. And I question the idea that he looks 20 years younger: if anything, I would place him as being 10 years older.
tl;dr - Suck it up and take a bath.
>>16541955
Good goyim, yes, stop taking baths and stop wasting water
How do I make friends if I generally hate people?
you change yourself
>>16541937
You fake it until you make it. Ive been faking it for years and noone can tell the difference.
>>16541984
i can
This girl schoolmate I've dated a few times and always had a good time with has gone cold and I get the feeling I'm a bother to her. She has become very busy to the point that her schoolwork is literally all she does (yes, really) and the only time I ever see her is when she spends the break with a classmate of hers. I do it regularly, but that's all. I bump into them almost daily and always stick around when I see them.
Now she has a shitton of work and she's been stressed out for a while now, but towards that classmate she's almost as cheerful and 'fun' as she used to be, and he has 'value' to her because he helps her with her classes. Towards me she's matter-of-fact and cold, and I feel like an outsider pestering her about her life. I get the feeling it's because I'm mostly 'useless' to her right now. She's pragmatic like that.
I know /adv/ protocol is to stop reading after the first sentence here and respond
>she isn't interested so move on, you dweeb
But it's more complicated than that. I want to ask her how she feels about me, about how I drop by for the most part. If she's blunt and ignoring towards me because she's stressed out or because I've become one guy too many for her and am a distraction to her.
I don't want to drop her, and I want to make sure she wants me out of her life if it really is that.
Thing is, I barely see her outside of those breaks nowadays, and it's just a simple question and she's too busy for me to say "let's meet up for this"
How should I ask this? What's the most diplomatic way to put it?
>>16541850
Is she actively telling you that she's stressed to where it seems like she's being open and honest with you or is it a situation where she's obviously trying to ignore you?
>>16541856
There are shades of both, really. She openly tells me how much work she has planned and that's basically a LOT. Then she has a ton of appointments on a regular basis. They're things like business, medical, that kind of thing. She doesn't go too in-depth about them for obvious reasons, but they take up a lot of time.
Occasionally when I hit her up over text, she tells me how she isn't feeling well. This happens especially over the past few days. She gives me single-word responses and generally doesn't give me much to work with. Then I see her in person, the first time in ages, and she barely pays me any mind, instead being all laughs and smiles towards her classmate, asking him to stick around until her next break so she won't have to spend it alone or they can rehearse homework or whatever. I don't know, I was just an outsider.
It bothers me.
>>16541887
Sounds like she may be interested in the other guy at the moment. If that's the case let him have his 5 minutes but be there for her if she needs anything. Eventually she'll adjust.
If she does like him you're kinda being forced to take the back seat for a bit. She'll want to focus on him.
If I'm totally wrong and she has no feelings for him then she may be going through a rough patch at the moment and just spending time with new people to try to distract herself.
I've always been fairly skinny. Never happy with my weight, but pretty thin. I've suffered w severe depression my whole life which escalated earlier this year when I attempted suicide. I do not live at home, I live in another country. My boyfriend, who intervened on my suicide attempt, made me go to the doctor, who put me on a new medication. The medication worked amazingly, however there's a catch. The medication can (and has) caused weight gain. My diet hasn't changed but I've put on quite a bit of weight. Still nowhere near life threatening, but its very visible.
I am currently working at putting the pieces of my life back together (or really, find them in the first place, as I feel like I'm starting life from scratch) Every day is spent trying to get a placement for the course to get onto a career or even just applying for jobs. I also perform housewife duties as my boyfriend works every day. I eat what I want as I'm still fragile and want to take everything one step at a time.
However. Earlier this year I went back home for a funeral and my parents were ashamed at my weight gain. They told me I had to fix it. They said they almost didn't want me to go to the funeral (which I flew home for) because of it. That was about 4 months ago and I've not been home since. Stupidly I decided to go home for Christmas. In 2 weeks I have to fly back for them to see I am still equally as fat. I had started going to the gym 3 times a week, but that quickly ended when I got huge guilt about doing anything that wasn't looking for work.
I just got off the phone to my father who warned me that I better have lost the weight or there will be hell to pay at Christmas. I again explained about the medication and birth control combo that makes it very difficult, but he told me I was lying.
Basically how do I get through christmas at home with my parents constantly telling me what a fat fuck I am and how they don't want me to be seen by anyone?
Also there's not enough time to lose any dramatic amount of weight (leaving on the 17th)
No one has any advice?
Any thyroid problem?
>tfw compulsive liar
>tfw fucked up life royally
>tfw have contract for a room that i can barely afford to pay
>tfw just want to go back to being a student but i cant
what the fuck do i do
study in the evenings? find a cheaper room? stop lying? don't worry about bad things in the past too much, look for good positive changes, starting with little things.
>>16541805
>get a roommate
>manipulate/swoon some chick into moving in with you
>fake your death
>get another job
>>16541805
You might give us a little more information. What exactly is your immediate problem?
All of it is like things that can't have happened
When people do lots of bad things, and they have to be things that didn't happen
but when I or we try to do good things, they can't happen either. Like that star wars convention, they can't say it happened , or that thing in theguardian, they can't say it happens in case anything good can come from it, it can only be good according to what they want so that it's theirs not ours
do you get this? When nothing can be changed for the better? it can only be worse
>>16541793
What, if anything, are you talking about?
Stop, take a deep breath, and try real hard to be coherent.
What is "all of it"? What is "that thing"? What exactly are you so upset about?
"all of it" is like the things that happened at work or locally where people did really bad things that damaged me. But it could always keep going on as it was pretended that it wasn't happening.
I'm sure it did,
it's so sad, that was my life, if it hadn't have happened I wouldn't be like this probably.
for years and years and years I trudged to a building at work where they hacked the hell out of my head all day, then trudged home to a town that was turned against me to a situation where I was being played, gleefully sometimes.
then after I tried to take my life, which was quite a full on experience it carried on. my mates taking the piss, being really horrible,
people turning up outside my home to shout they were going to kill me (they're still here I guess)
then being ferried off 200 miles with people making out I was Ian Huntley and having a really good time of it, then forcing themselves on me in bed then hating me
then trying to get a degree to get out of the situation , re-build things, then getting jumped on at their 'do' (I swear they knew things about me) and then all that hard work through my illness collapsing
uh, I worked so hard for it
and doing these drawings while people were playing me and conspiring to do weird things to me
when I lost my cousin, I couldn't bare it, he died before I could fix it, I screamed and screamed,
then the whole fascist overseas nut job bullshit which was re-enforced by people in my head so I don't even know...
then another year, another year
it's all rubbish throw it away
then not being able to go places because I don't fit in "NOT IN HERE!" you're putting off the customer they don't like it
how many years is that?
I really tried, now I'm in pain every day and none of it worked. another year...
to do it all again
I know it's a long whinge fest but jesus christ that was a bit much, wouldn't you say. Any one would struggle under all that.
So that's nearly two decades
"you seem to have mental health problems" yeah, amazingly
Are there ways to alter your sex drive? I'm in that spot where I still want sex but not with anyone I could get and it's killing me.
I drew this handy chart to explain my issue better.
Does bloodletting help?
How about smoking?
Me and my girlfriend barely talk, just sitting at computers. Why don't we talk no more? Also no sex for ages.
>>16541726
Show more if an interest in her. Start a conversation, kiss her, tell her you love her. Just generally suck up.
>>16541738
I do that all the time. In fact she seems to be more talkative and forthcoming when I'm being a moody marvin.
Be decisive and assertive. Women like it when you show them what you want. While at the same time respecting her personal boundaries but they are pretty good at saying no generally, take it with a grain of salt
Help me decide which is better, Which one has a higher salary, Which is easier to study, Which one has easy math?
Computer Engineering has more syllables.
>>16541505
So network engineering is easier?
>>16541471
do history or liberal arts. sounds more your style
Me and my bf are together three years now. We get along great, but we always have problems because we are fundamentally different in one aspect - He's a quiet type, and I'm outgoing and physical. Its an ongoing frustration.
The thing where this hurts most is with dancing. I just love dancing. I love watching couples dancing, and now that I finally found the man I want to be with, I want to dance with him, share that euphoria with him. But he won't. He says he feels awkward, and that's that.
Its not a small thing for me. When we go out and listen to music we both like, I see all those couples dancing and having a blast, and I can't fucking join. I have to stay sitting like a granny. It makes me feel like a wallflower, and it makes me look at my bf like he was plain and uninteresting.
Dancing is not only fun, it is also ver attractive. It basically means a man is confident, physically fit, social, curageous, happy... In my mind, men who dance are top-tier, and I think most women would agree. Seeing my bf incapable of it makes me very disappointed.
I do try to inspire him now and then, like I try and not sit down but stand in a bar, so I can move a little. He sometimes bobs his head to the beat - but when I go up to him start dacing a bit more "with him" he freezes up and does not even try.
> tl;dr: long-term bf just won't dance, this sucks.
How do you see this? If you are male, do you dance, and if no, why not? I'm sure you see the fun of dancing too, I think ist mostly shyness. What would help you overcome this shyness?
>>16541464
>It basically means a man is confident, physically fit, social, curageous, happy
It could have a myriad of other reasons. Bad experiences in the past, thinking it's below him and he's making a clown of himself, bad sense of rythm, or he is simply afraid that he's bad at it because he lacks experience.
I don't dance ever. Even when I went to school dances or concerts, it just feels awkward and looks weird. I don't know anyone who dances regularly but my friends dance when they're fucked up. Makes me feel really bored because I'm just fucked up, standing up, watching them dance. I just can't do it.
>>16541475
I don't look at people who dance in a clumsy way and think nasty things. That's a dick move, like making fun of a fat person in the gym. I am happy that people enjoy the music so much they want to move, that's all.
Maybe he thinks people are judging him. But dancing is not a contest, its for fun only, who cares what others think?
What is the most valuable skill a person can have for their entire life?
I think communication is the most important skill in life.
>>16541411
At the very most basic level, survival skills like hunting, fire making, and crafting shelter are essential to life.
However, in civilized society, possessing a strong work ethic is what gives you what you need to survive: money
>>16541411
The top two:
1. Inhaling
2. Exhaling
I'm 5'2' and male, trying to find out how fucked I am.
Femanons only, please post your height and whether my height would be a deal breaker for you
Anyone, please post if you have female friends and you know their attitude to male height in dating.
>>16541400
Saw a short guy with a gf that is 10 cm taller yesterday. Not completely fucked I must say, just that maybe you have it harder than me.
t. 5'7
>>16541400
Youre just going to be dating short chicks.
If youre ok with that, sweet.
>>16541413
But I know not all short chicks would accept a manlet anyway right?
