Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2089. page
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'It'.
>>16544446
i cant trust people anymore. people are too good at hiding their instability or ill intent. a few have proven to be good friends. but anyone ive ever been romantically involved with has only gotten into it for personal gain, and if im the one to break things off, they lose their shit and do their best to fuck my life up. im not rich by any means, but i do alright and im fairly prominent socially. and people (see:grills) think they can get what i have (material things, social status) if they pretend to have affection for me. i have been a fool and allowed this to happen. i have been blinded by sex and the illusion that someone cares about me. i am writing this to remind myself that while there is indeed hope of finding a legitimate partner, the odds are very slim. i need to focus on myself. and i either need to buy a fleshlight or start patronizing the services of prostitutes. or go back to being a slut that fucks grills and then never calls (but i stopped doing that for a reason, so i think im going to go with the former).
Just want a girlfriend, someone to love, even if an online relationship.. or a new friend. I need to get out more. but it just feels like "fuck the world and everything in it" (can go to hell)
I just got rejected by the girl of my dreams. She said it will never happen between us. I don't think i will ever find anyone like her ever again. What should I do?
>>16544372
Pick yourself up and go pursue other girls, its not like she was the last girl on earth.
Stop buying into this notion that there is such a thing as a girl of your dreams.
>>16544372
There are more than 7 billion people on this Earth. Odds are, there's more than one girl out there.
This is going to be a long one, I think it is important to know my past a little bit to fully understand why I think about this situation the way that I do.
I got married in 2010 after only dating this girl for only 8 months. I obviously regret this choice I made, but when you are young and you meet a woman a little older than you that has the perfect body and we have nothing but the best sex, it's hard to leave. I had to make a choice, marry her, or she couldnt come with me when I had to get stationed in Virginia. Turns out she was cheating on me the entire time. Well, actually, she had a boyfriend before me, so I was the one she was cheating on her boyfriend with, she just decided to marry me and I guess somehow make all that shit work. Obviously I thought this woman was the love of my life, there was seriously nothing negative at all between us or about her until I found out. I was pretty fucking devastated, doesn't help that I probably have more emotions that the average male. It is 2015, I'm still not divorced and it's been fucking hell. She is mad that I want to leave her, she has done everything form attempted suicide, falsifying documents, burning paperwork, to calling my command and requesting consoling. Being in the Navy ( I realize now I should of stated that earlier ), it is quite hard to get a divorce, and going on 2 and a half deployments in the 5 years of trying didn't help at all, not to mention the $30,000 of debt I climbed out of.
The whole point of that was to give a background as to why I have trust issues.
Here comes the new situation. I met another woman on deployment that was on my boat, we hit it off amazingly as soon as we meet eachother. 2 weeks later, the boat I was on got the chance to pull into a tropical paradise of the coast of Australia. We got 3 days off all to ourselves, which consisted of alot of drinking, sex, Jacuzzi time, sex, beach, even more sex, and just running around naked on our own little piece of land in the middle of no where. We fell for each other stupid hard it could almost be a romance movie. We get back to the states and here comes the interesting shit, she wants me to move in. Best part? She has a 2 year old and that 2 year olds dad is very much still part of her life. Don't get me wrong that is great, but it's just a lot to be thrown into out of no where. Now you have this guy just coming over all the time to see her, and now my girlfriend is always bringing him up ( clearly I moved in at this point ).
So now i still have a wife living up north, I have a new girlfriend who has a kid who has a dad always trying to be around (again, I'm not upset, this is good for them, just a new concept for me ). A couple of months go by, and things start to get stressful for us, I'm not used to sharing a room with a 2 year old, I'm not used to anything about a 2 year old honestly. Not only that, but she is one of those people who stresses the fuck out over nothing. I have to deal with a fuckign crazy 2yr and the mother all day and I'm tired of it.( This next part is going to sound selfish, but you really have to see it from my point of view. ) I feel neglected now, we went from always all over eachother, fucking, making out, touching eachother, talking dirty, hanging out all day having fun, to getting home from work and dealing with a crazy mom and her kid. It seriously feels like I just skipped 6 years down the road, got married, had a kid and now Im here. The worst part is she used to always talk about him. Talks about how they fucked all the time and how he broke her heart. Basically she used to be this fuck doll for this guy and be all over him and now she is broken. She cant have that immotional level anymore and I have to suffer the consequences. She acts like she doesnt even want me, like she doesnt even care if I leave. That shit is fucking gay. Best part is things havent even gotten good yet.
Was the sex good? She loves you, you know.
I need help. My son, 11, has no interest in reading. Or anything. The problem is he acts like he does, and doesn't actually read anything, which really really worries me about his general motivation levels.. He wants to read for some kind of association with it, but won't commit in any way. He reads sometimes when he's with my parents, they get him shit like the diary of a wimpy kid books and he flips through them, but when I try to get him the simplest of age appropriate non-comedy books he will occasionally act like he's reading them but never actually does.
This is a fairly recent development. I've segmented his time at home fairly well through his life. Not too much tv, etc. He was a slow bloomer for sure in terms of reading - didn't really start until he was 6 or so - but as he's moved into being ready for proper books he has lost the will to continue. He's a good reader, so that isn't the problem. He just has zero motivation, and his inability to read a chapter book is a manifestation of this.
All he wants to do is watch TV and play video games. I used to give him a limit of 1-2 hours a day for this, and ask him to go outside and play or read a book or whatever for the rest of his free time. Around the time he turned 10 he stopped playing outside, stopped reading, everything. He just sits if I don't let him do something mindless. He has passing interest in things - we built a bird house last week(his idea), which he was really really excited to start, but literally within ten minutes had entirely quit caring about.
He is a genuinely smart kid. I'm not just saying this as a proud parent - on a base level he is thoroughly above his peers in maturity and most skills. He just has zero motivation. None. And it's not an energy thing either, he's got a ton.
I know 4chan is an odd place to ask about parenting, but I have no account anywhere else and no idea where to go. I'm welcoming to anything. Personal experiences, direct advice, whatever.
>>16544300
>He was a slow bloomer for sure in terms of reading - didn't really start until he was 6 or so
uhhh
Audio books to keep him interested.
>While you try to figure out his real problem.
>>16544304
Most kids begin reading around four to five given thorough education/experience/exposure, and really develop around seven. He was a year or two behind. For reference my other child, a four year old girl, reads as well as he did when he was six.
I don't think this is relevant now as he is still in the normal range for his age, if not better.
Does it get better after High school? Please tell me it does.
>>16544248
Yeah it gets better. But try to have sex with dumb high school girls while you still can.
If you get out of your home town, yes.
It isn't just a magical change though. You have to legitimately try.
>>16544248
High school and shortly after were some of the best years of my life. Live it up.
Any medfags on? I plan on becoming a doctor and I want some general advice on that career route.
>>16544195
My backup career is in comp sci so advice on that would be greatly appreciated also
Another thing is I have problems with my classes being to easy which leads me to make careless errors. Did anyone else have this problem and how did you overcome it
>>16544195
What country are you in? America?
I'm in one of THOSE groups. Five people and I've done all my own work, all the work of one of my classmates, and half the work of another classmate.
We are presenting research data in class and so far as I can see the only person who's submitted any work is me. I can either fuck them all and just rock my section and look like a douche and an idiot or put in an all nighter and put this whole damned thing together so we don't look like fucktards.
I've put in more than my fair share but if I don't do far more our group is going to suck ass.
So? As long as your grade is an A and you learned a lot, why are you upset?
>>16544161
It's gonna suck and we're going to be the laughing stock of the class.
I finished on Saturday but one of the guys submitted data on Onedrive so unrelated to our research I had to rewrite his entire section all night and one of the other guys stole 1/4 of my work when he complained I wasn't leaving him with enough. He was probably right.
We're going to look like retards if I drop out now. We're going to look like brain damaged retards.
>>16544156
Your classmates don't give a flying fuck what you look like presenting your shit. In fact, they aren't even listening. They're playing on their laptops and thinking about what shitty stir fry ingredients they'll throw together at the cafeteria that night.
Present the work you did and stop giving a shit what the others do. Talk to your professor before you present and explain the situation so they know what's going on.
While having sex with a guy I started to experience pain and asked him to stop. He ignored me and continued thrusting harder and faster as I continuously screamed at him to stop
Ditching this guy for sure, but it concerns me that he definitely heard me screaming to stop and he still kept going and even saying he was going to cum inside me knowing I am not on birth control
While he didn't, he claimed he just got caught up in the moment and thought it was really hot
Did this fucker rape me?! Should I report it?
We were both sober and consenting, up until I screamed 'stop' multiple times
>Did this fucker rape me?! Should I report it?
Yes and yes
yes this is pretty much rape
>>16544095
Don't report it. The poor guy probably thought you meant it as a turn on. Some guys are into that stuff. Just tell him about before guys have sex again.
Okay so I am confused and pissed off at the same time, so here is a bit of backstory
>Meet this 7.5/10 at a friends house a year ago (pic related)
>We exchanged numbers, she texts me regularly about hanging out
>Go to her place most of the time, play games a lot, chill as fuck
>She wants to fuck almost every time I go over
>Imokaywiththis.jpg
>Become close friends/fuck buddies for 8 months
>Gradually sex becomes less frequent from her getting sick often, shes got a shit immune system
>She decides it would be nice to actually start a relationship
>okay, cool
>Fast forward to now
>Sex completely ceased
>Still acts flirty with me, just never goes beyond making out anymore
We used to have sex two to three times each time I came over, and now the last time we fucked was mid October, and the ONE time we had sex before that was in July. We've talked about it and shes said her sex drive is just next to nothing, and was made evident that it is not that shes lost interest in me, and believes it is some hormone imbalance somewhere.
I'm just frustrated and don't know if there is anything I can do to help, so I am curious if I gave some of whats going on to see if you guys can tell whats happening:
- Shes either at work, at home, or hanging out with me, and considering shes not interested in any guy that gives their number to her at work (shes a waitress), I can assume shes not cheating
- Goes to the doctor often, tells her everything is normal, even though she thinks its still a hormone imbalance
- She has VERY infrequent periods, sometimes just skips a month or two
- Refuses to use birth control, as the last time she tried it (a few months ago), she started having periods almost every week
- Due to reasons that aren't too clear to me, she has said she can't get pregnant because her uterus won't release eggs (something along those lines)
Is there anything I can do to fix this or is it just a lost cause? I'll answer any questions that I didn't mention above
>>16543945
hormone imbalance is a bad excuse. she might really think its true cuz her sex drive has been zapped but thats the way it is.
truth be told, men slow their roll just as much as women do, but men still go for it once every so often cuz they NEED to drain that vein.
but think about the first time you meet a girl or touch her too flirtatiously or kiss her. you get a boner, yeah?
but then fast forward a few months later, and even if you're naked in bed, you are soft. she has to blow oyu to get you hard.
the truth is our brains are trained to like new experiences sexually. theres some evolution theories on why but i wont get into them.
but basically you've been together long enough that you dont really sexually arouse her. you can go out of your ways to do things and this might help.
this is why relationships go south these days. in the old days women just had to put out cuz it was their duty. now they havea choice which of course is a GOOD thing but its changed the way it works.
Even if she had the prettiest face there ain't no way in hell that's a 7.5/10
Raise your standards and fuck something new jfc
>>16543945
Try some foreplay? if her sex drive is next to nothing then try and start it up because it was obviously there at one time.
Would an average guy consider it "creepy" if the girl they were having sex with locked her legs around him and then moaned that she wants to have all his babies outloud?
What would your reaction be?
Abort!!!!
>>16543944
I would laugh my ass off if I thought it was a joke.
Pregnant chicks turn me on, so my dick would be diamond hard
How do I know if I'm too stupid too pursue an academic field? I already wasted 3 years of my life. I don't think I can afford to make a wrong choice and waste some more
If you're self aware enough to doubt your intelligence and worry about wasting time, you're probably not too stupid. What you lack is discipline, maybe you should take some classes or read books about learning and find your own pace.
>>16543926
this is likely true.
>>16543916
the thing about academic fields is they are all different, so if you know what academic field you are interested in, test that? reflect back on your highschool career and see how well you did on that in general.
>>16543941
Engineering
Chemical Engineering to be precise
And the thing about high school is that it was just a big blur. I was really depressed and disinterested from the start and I really didn't learn a lot. At one point I failed 9 subjects.
But from what I remember, I do ok with and like physics. I do ok with math and even like it a bit, but I did badly and skipped classes because I had problems with the teacher. And chemistry, well, it started ok enough, but I quickly lost interest, stopped studying it, and now I don't remember anything of it
If I'm to be honest with you I'm not even sure how I graduated
Which is why I kind of wonder if I'm still fit for studying, specially something I keep hearing is so difficult.
I'm seeing a psychiatrist soon so I'm sure the depression won't get in the way as much but still
I need to spend the next 12 hours from now, 10pm to 10am studying for my College Final. What is something that will keep me awake without causing my heart to feel strange & nervous?
I have coffee but that makes me nervous.
I have apple cider which I don't think is chemically wake-up juice in anyway, but a good sip out of that always wakes me the fuck up in the morning, but I'm afraid that will cause me to feel nervous and distracted.
Are there any common house-hold stimulants that can wake someone up without causing your heart to feel nervous?
If NyQuil makes you sleepy does DayQuil do the opposite or something?
Will
you need Will
>>16543852
This post does make me feel a little bit better.
Do you think I can do it, bro?
>>16543847
there isn't one. assuming you've been awake all day, the human body isnt designed to naturally stay away another 12 hours on top of that.
there is literally no way to do it without your feart feeling strange or nervous. its the literal trade off of existence.
Thinking a lot about murder/suicide atm. Can tell I'm in one of my fits. Tired of fucking people calling me edgy or bsing every time I come here. For real senpai post like happy shit or something.
Pic unrelated
>>16543767
It's not worth it, man. Take a walk, you'll find something. Or something will find you. Trust me.
>>16543772
Sitting in my car atm smoking to try and relax. These fits where I just want to hurt someone come weekly. I get tense, hard to speak, be coheriant or slow my thoughts. It feels hard to move. Fuck my life man I'm tired of this shit and having to pretend nothing's wrong.
right so basically about to get kicked out of school, parents will most likely disown my sorry ass and i'll have about 30k in student debt..
am in canada and am seriously considering running away to U.S to find a low-key job and live life. or kill myself..
>>16543667
not sure how america will be any better than canada. student loan, especially canadian student loans, especially only 30 k isn't really that bad. honestly ive only ever made like 4 payments on my student loans... ever. and i owe twice as much as you.
if you get kicked out of school, just go find a job and start building a life. once you reach that point where ur not just 24/7 trying to put out fires, then start planning your next move. whether that be trade school, or internship or a specific job you can land.
>>16543674
in canada even by declaring bankruptcy the loans stay with you for up to 7 years, they can garnish wages and tax returns
were i to go to U.S i wouldn't have to pay the loan back..
>>16543700
can they take your wages without a bank account? ive been living off the grid that way cuz the bank kept taking my money for a line of credit i had. but iwthout a bank account they cant remove it.
but yeah if you wanna come to america thats fine, we can be neighborinos.
I'm in quite the conundrum.
>be me, 22
>parents are finally divorcing
>am at a transitional period where I can't find a good job, just graduated
>if I can't move out now, will likely have to live with my mother
>she has no friends or family here, but living with her would severely limit EVERY aspect of my life, be it romantic, social, professional, personal, etc.
>will feel crushing guilt if I, as the only person left in her life, moved away from her
>her only choices would be to live here, completely alone aside from me visiting her, or back to Thailand where she'd survive easier but again, be away from the sole person in her life
>>16543664
Shit dude, well do what she would do and stick around and wish for the best, you can't just leave her all alone.
>>16543664
I do belive you need to put your life ahead of others, but in this case she is your mother and you need to be there to support her, dont stay there forever becasue you both need to move one, but for now give her the support she needs.
>>16543664
Maybe just live near her, but not with to her? If you're the only person in her life maybe she could come with you in some capacity? An apartment next door? If she's freshly divorced she could probably use a new start too.
You not wanting to leave your Mom is noble, but the best thing you could do is stay -near- her, or bring her -near- you, and encourage her to assert her own independence, introduce her to some hobbies, a group, some friends, or something. This might be a time where being thoughtful and creative couldn't hurt.
Also...have you tried talking to her?
